Alright Mary: All Things RuPaul's Drag Race

The roast meets rap battle is back this season, which means Megami has been busy writing! Joey Jay shows her velvet rage, Shuga shows her sweet tooth and everyone has something to say about Sam's hand me downs. And let's hear it for the ladies who lip sync, featuring Kennedy at her most unhinged and Hershii in an outfit that should have everybody rising.

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The third bracket hits a home run when it comes to casting, but there are more than a few foul balls for this week’s athletic themed design challenge. Kennedy Goddamn Davenport buckles but doesn’t break, Joey Jay hits all of Ru’s buttons, Jasmine follows the Jorgeous Rule, Shuga might be getting a pretzel at the mall, Sam has balls, and Hershii just can’t stop wearing pants. 

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A gaggle of gay dads joins the workroom to show off their father figures for this week's makeover challenge. Salina strategizes herself into delusion, Vivacious has the judges saying "yesssss honey", Silky serves creamy and crunchy, Crystal perpetually indulges herself, Aura doesn't keep her pinky promise and April gets the final bite of the Tres Leches alliance.

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As a wise queen once said, if you've got any tips, send them my way. This week, Bracket 2 shows their expertise via shortform video in things like jerking a chicken, duckwalking the dead, making tostones with your tits, nutting on a banana, helping a puppet get her cheating boyfriend back using a chorizo and a chainsaw, and baking a cake while a miniature version of yourself reads you from the lid of a sugar bowl. There really is nothing else like this on television.

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Two is a pair and six is a bracket as the second batch of All Stars arrives this week to duet to it. Silky has a puppet this time, almost everyone but Crystal has a strategy, Reneé Rapp has a background in dance, Untucked is unhinged cringe and the lip sync for the win was, well, enough. 

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The queens are scaring up sales for this week’s spooky home shopping improv challenge. The scariest part is that they have to do it in pairs, or more specifically, that Lucky and Mystique have to work together. Dawn makes the judges howl, Morgan does in fact do pretty well for a dead bitch, and while it seems like Akeria’s got this all wrapped up, it’s ultimately up to Ru to choose between an old favorite from Peanuts and a Davenport born to do drag. 

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It’s the elder millennials vs Gen Z for the first bracket of the second tournament style All Stars. A double stuffed premiere gives the queens the rare opportunity to write a rap verse about their fierceness, design a look using a pile of stuff and wriggle into some panties for 60 seconds. Along the way we get Latoya celebrating a birthday, a fly, a ladybug and a Roach, one of those Hudson kids and a pocketbook full of air. 

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It's finally time to decide if Darlene's special kind of stupid, Nini's mechanically engineered drag or Myki's versatility earns the cash and the crown. The whole episode is kind of uncanny valley of the dolls but Miley stops by, we get to meet the people who produced all of those Meeks kids, Ru dances for no one, Jane gets a $10k tip from her sisters for mopping the floor with them most of the season, Onya gets offa the throne and this season's responsible babysitting theater kid from Orlando kicks off her motherfucking reign.

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The Top 3 take a break on the couch as the eliminated queens return to decide who will compete against Juicy for $50,000. Ciara puts on some prosthetic dirty pillows, Briar gets a doctor’s note, Jane earns a producer credit, Mia doesn’t get a moment’s rest and the littlest Love Dion ultimately cements her assassin status for the season.  

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The top four rise and shine one last time for a semifinal challenge that doesn’t require them to write lyrics or learn choreography. Darlene and Myki's morning show is a ratings hit while Nini and Juicy's feels pre-recorded. Ultimately Nini shimmies into the Top 3, but we won’t have to take our eyes off Juicy for very long….

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Karens from hell (not to be confused with Karen From Finance) are pitted against Ru in an improv challenge that mostly involves saying no. Darlene is a pleasure to work with but Myki has that Honda Odyssey and that wig and that winners edit. Juicy lets a little loose, Nini loses her Christmas spirit and Jane misses the boat but earns a one way ticket to All Stars.

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The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be…Valerie! After a disastrous attempt at Chicago in New York, diligent picketing with Fran Drescher during the writers strike and setting into condo life with her finance dude Marky Mark, Val has a chance to get back on network television, just as soon as ChatGPT is done writing the script. Along the way she loses Jane, keeps Patience, consoles Billy, reminisces with Tommy and of course cherishes her time on the pod before she attempts to make one more comeback. 

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Round up my girls! Six bucking broncos are thrown into the arena for this season’s makeover challenge. If they buck it up, they’ll feel the wrath of Law Roach’s clickbait! Myki mentors Aunt Meeks to her second win, Nini bugs out, Juicy Love Lucy, Jane does just fine and the Mitchells do Reno. Not to be a mean girl but it seems Discord is totally clueless about family resemblance, which ultimately sends her walking off into the sunset. 

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Banana!

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Where there’s a will, there’s Away suitcases full of eliminated queens’ materials for this season’s third design challenge. We’re introduced to/reminded of Crystal this week, get to experience the joy of Darlene’s Wig Bag and are given an opportunity to discuss The Black Eyed Peas, Lou Vega, Sean Paul, LMFAO and even Deborah Cox and Tamia. While Discord continues to be pinned to the safe zone, Kenya pleases the judges and Jane continues to do, for the third time. 

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Seven little girls and one dumb dog come out mostly shining in this week’s Annie-inspired Rusical. While Jane’s shenanigans steal the show and the win, the Dions are miles from Easy Street and end up in a Mommy & Me lip sync that leaves Juicy an orphan in this competition. 

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Drag Race is the only show where you can see Drew Barrymoore, Truman Capote, Lizzo and the Pope all in one place, vying for the affections of three local actors. Snatch Game meets Love Island this week and while it’s by no means a total heartbreak, they’re not all a snatch made in heaven. Nini’s David Attenborough feels a bit unnatural, Discord inspires a Conclave tangent, Athena is once again Greek and Mia’s contrary Mary ends up cursing her in the end. 

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We are midway through the season and it's midterm elections this week as the queens take a stance on important political issues like padding, foreskin and clown inclusion. Myki is on the MF’ing rise, Darlene puts on a show in her bedroom, Discord hits the right notes, Jane continues to do, Athena is a little bit Alexis, and Veeta’s bags are packed. We indeed can’t keep our eyes off Juicy, but is a Dion Dynasty still headed for the finale or is the Florida vote swinging in a different direction now? 

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The tables are turned this week as the raters become the rated for part two of the talent show. We get thirty minutes of Ciara deciding she can most likely beat Discord in a lip sync and hoping to sway the votes that way. Meanwhile the Dions are keeping all of the wins in the family, the judges are not pleased with Kenya, and Myki almost loses more than a finger before clearing Miss Myst from the competition.

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It’s Part One (“PART ONE?!” - Kenya Pleaser) of the talent show judged entirely by other queens in the room via the unsinkable Rate-A-Queen device. There’s a lot of strategizing but very little surprises as the movers from Miami outrank 60 seconds of physical therapy, an earnest poem, Darlene, and alas, Nini’s gecko. 

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A second design challenge so soon? Groundbreaking. The queens pair up and face off, both on the runway and in the workroom if you're in the extended Dion family teaching cousin Brian how boundaries work. Also, quick sticks!

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Pre-recorded from Simi Valley, it’s RDR Live! Third time’s not quite the charm, but the night is nearly saved by Michelle’s towel acting. Then it’s a zoo on the runway, and a good night for at least one of the Dions. Meanwhile Brian almost bites it before Mandy Mango is told she can go.

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This week, we begin our discussions about The Traitors Season 4 in the US and over across the pond in the UK. In the US, the Housewives make their presence known as faithfuls and as traitors in the castle as a group you don’t want to cross. They are up against a Dylan Efron wannabe, dwindling gamers, and a loud mouth who is ruining the game for everyone else, but the real debate is around the production flub of the Secret Traitor and what might have gone wrong. In the UK, they are all playing the game much better wh...

It’s time for the girls to get into groups, cause it’s a girl group challenge! Punk, pop and disco duke it out for the best eight count verse and least fumbled choreography, which puts the cleverest queen and the one who was a backup dancer for Britney Spears in the Top 2 and and results in a disco inferno for Diane Fuego and Amanda Mango dressed as a side table. 

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Drag Race kicks off its 18th season with some of the oldest bitches in the cut. (Okay, 8 of them are in their 30s.) We get an extended Florida family reunion of the Love Dions and Aunt Starr, a biter from Boston, Trash reclaimed and renamed Darlene, some disrupted Discord, a former mechanical engineer bagging the lip sync and Kenya Pleaser literally trapped in her skirt. Cardi B gets an A as guest judge, Jamal Sims appears on screen to watch the girls reenact Scream 2, and in a dystopian twist it turns out the whole thing runs on the blood...

I don’t know about you Miss Kitty, but Batman Returns is feeling so much gayer. This unofficial Christmas movie about the Penguin’s rise, Catwoman’s coming out and Bruce Wayne’s need to come out all takes place around the holidays in Gotham, with a sabotaged tree lighting, a Christmas party under attack and cold soup by the fire one night in that fussy bachelor pad. Michelle Pfeiffer is the reason for the season as Selina Kyle in and out of the bodysuit, Danny DeVito goes to a 27 and back, Jan Hooks shows up just before that nose bit...

This week, we officially set sail with the cast of season 6 and discover a little more below deck in their group acting challenge. Van Goth continues to Van goad others into battle, Sami Landry exemplifies a cigarette mom to a T, and Dulce shows us her soft side, as does Paolo Perfeccion in her own way. We have a lot to say about who Velma looks like, but we have even more to say about that 'Hellish' lip sync. 

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Best Supporting Paula Abdul helps kick off the season with a supersized Meet the Queens megamix, modestly oversized runway looks and a coldhearted lip sync assassination as the top prize. (That triple split screen had us leaning one ear in.) We have much to say about cigarette families, Vincent Dinofrio, St. Cate's, bucket hats, baby names and of course some early lookalikes. 

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Jennifer Love Hewitt is part of another doomed quartet of rising stars of the 90s getting terrorized by an omnipresent North Carolina fisherman out for even more justice because he still remembers what she did two summers ago. Brandy, Mehki Phifer and Matthew Settle join Julie James on the most convoluted all expenses paid trip from hell to the Bahamas while Freddie Prinze Jr does his own version of The Fugitive via bus, boat and time travel to try and save the day. Jennifer Esposito is an underutilized Nancy, Jack Black has dreads, and the entire staff of the h...

Alright Scary is back this month with a movie your parents probably rented in the 90s, “Malice”! Its ingredients alone make it a cut above the domestic thrillers of the era, with Nicole Kidman, Bill Pullman and Alec Baldwin in a triangle full of twists, a fourth billed Bebe Neuwirth doing her best Columbo, Ann Bancroft devouring an entire set without getting out of her chair, Jerry Goldsmith at his usual bombastic, Shirley Baker as a waitress, Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows, Blythe Danner’s daughter, nurse drag, a beautiful hairy chest and a final showdown in a blind kid’s bedroom...

It’s a jumble out there! The queens are turning challenge props from seasons past into, well, whatever they want. Viola gets strung out over the traitorous takes from a room full of Claudia Winklemans, and it only gets worse for her from there. Meanwhile Bones softens, Chai T gets lost between the cushions, Paige Three sends us on a necessary tangent on 90s Animal Movies, Pasty loses her balance, her shoe, and her shot at the crown and Sally hopefully gets the validation she needs that she really isn't too weird. 

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The UK workroom is alive again with the sound of camp cows, Soho girls, Irish girls, indoor divas, the occasionally unclear pun name, both a violin and a nose flute, and a Gregg’s in a wig. The Pink Carpet sort-of challenge is essentially a version of Squid Game where you just hope to not get interviewed by Plane Jane, and the runway reminds us that this episode is just one big Meet the Queens. Despite some great music, the cow vote was kind of BS. Stay tuned for tangent on the trouble with UPS, plus some early lookalikes. 

Mostly seven but briefly eight queens make it through to a final lip sync battle for the crown and the cash. Kerri hosts the viewing party as Irene is teleported back to Mars, Sister Mary Aja does her little walk and Daya wagon wheel watusis away against her Seattle sister. Lydia puts her whole butthole into Shakira and Bosco attempts to raise her glass above Ginger’s outstretched arms, but this Weather Girls final lip sync was essentially forecasted. Despite Jorgeous’s reign as Mommy’s Favorite, after ten years and four tries it was finally time for a, well...

Before next week’s lip sync smackdown, we get this week’s lip sync smackdown in the form of a talent show! Will Aja jump from there? Will Lydia rely on cumbersome props to tell a bizarre story? Does anyone need to be reminded of the Pharmarusical? While everything comes up Ginger and Jorgeous has an intense reaction to turkey, Bosco’s pretty privilege earns her the win and Mistress is sent back to playing video games on YouTube by her own Butthole. (Unless of course Ross’s absentee ballot sways the wild card lottery away from her fellow Texas di...

It’s time for the queens to come back eight months later and play the Snatch Game! Mistress ends up really taking it on the chin this week, as her Bracket 2 antics land about as poorly as her Natalie Nunn impression with the rest of the girls. Meanwhile Ginger doesn’t break a sweat as Reba and continues her winning streak (of Snatch Games and challenges this season), Aja’s cookie starts to crumble, Jorgeous puts on a bald cap and Cynthia’s Dracula is ironically slayed the week they have Buffy as a guest judge. 

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Sometimes Dolores, being a bitch is all a drag queen has to hang on to. And this week, it’s what it takes to both win the heart and bone of that guy from “Fire Island” and win a spot in the semifinals. While Ginger aptly fetches her third win, Daya finally stops begging Alyssa for a point and retrieves the second spot in the top. Acid and Alyssa are destined for the pound, but it’s ultimately up to them to decide who gets rescued. Alas, being a queen’s best friend pays off for Cynthia while Denali is kept on...

The tonk is particularly honky this week as the queens bring the Grand Ole Opry to the main stage for a girl group challenge that is decidedly more Dixie Chicks than Spice Girls. Meanwhile in the workroom the bottom 4 are spinning their partners round and round over who is gonna nab that third spot in the semifinals, and that’s all before Ginger lassos a second win. To say nothing of the lip sync that had everyone and their best friend Leslie talking. We really miss Nicole. 

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We are officially Nicole Paige Brooksless this week as Bracket 3 kicks off with a wickedly wonky team-based design challenge and six new queens with big shoes to fill. Of course we also have to hold space for contractually featured guest judges Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. Ginger and Daya defy expectations to take the win while Acid Betty is stuck with a pin, Denali does a pique turn, Cynthia is giving My Cousin Cucu and Alyssa Hunter is gunning for a longer arc this season. 

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Mischief Isabelle Brooks is in full force for this final lap of the bracket and not everyone is feeling gapey about it. A rather on the nose villains vs heroes Starrbooty Rusical leaves Nicole in shambles, Tina overshadowed and Kerry robbed. Meanwhile Jorgeous is apparently Broadway bound, Lydia is a used Butthole but a fortunate pawn, and the true All Stars 10 villain is on her way to terrorize the semifinals. 

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This week’s roast is rapped up and hot to go! And for some queens it was even pre-written! The burns start well before the challenge between the feuding Brookses and one Texas diva left out of the alliance. Meanwhile Butthole is torn between two mother figures but Jorgeous continues to feel very muggy. Chappell Roan makes some noise on the judges panel and the runway blossoms with groundbreaking florals for spring.

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