This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart, DJ and Kelly return to the movies with some important questions: Has Netflix become Lifetime? Should actual movie quality require another subscription tier? And if you take three naps without losing the plot, is that good storytelling or a problem?

Then they explain how Special Forces derailed their Avengers plans. George Santos’s helicopter dive inspires unexpected admiration—and DJ explain...

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart, DJ and Kelly start with the important questions: Is LA dining actually a scam? Why are people spending $22 on Erewhon smoothies? And why does losing weight require your body to betray you in precisely the wrong order?

DJ prepares for an extended trip to Vancouver, reveals the consequences of taking entirely too much magnesium, and shows Kelly the nearly 300-year-old Chinese plate he's donating to a charity auction. Somehow, this leads naturally to J. Paul Getty, trickle-down economics, and politics.

Then the conversation...

DJ has been designing bathrooms, Kelly is manifesting a Costco door, and somehow this leads directly into a discussion about a United Airlines passenger allegedly masturbating next to another passenger—and DJ immediately begins investigating the legal loopholes.

Next up is The Weight, featuring Ethan Hawke, Russell Crowe, an inexplicably well-equipped woma...

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, DJ is drinking purple drink, trying to fit back into his suits and discovering that his New Year's resolution to have more fun may have been a little too successful. Kelly proposes a solution: the same amount of fun, but more naps. Eventually, they settle on Fun Zero.

DJ also has an update on his SAG health insurance, including an unexpected route back to coverage through his newly approved influencer contract. He is now, very reluctantly, an influencer. Kelly would like to remind everyone that social media works.<...

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, DJ has returned from Orlando with absolutely nothing left to give. He's recording from bed, the television has only barely been muted, and his social battery is officially dead.

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, we're off to an appropriately chaotic start: Kelly is bleeding, DJ's face is bright red from tretinoin, and we're discussing the strategic value of loudly talking about anal sex while sneaking an entire meal into a movie theater.

DJ...

CHAPTERS

DJ has returned from New Jersey exhausted, Kelly deliberately cuts off the intro, and this week's episode of Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly is officially coming to you live from DJ's bed.

We start with boundaries—and DJ's increasingly toxic relationship with American Airlines after a seemingly endless series of delays. After dozens of flights and hours spent stranded in airports, DJ has one request: if the airline is going to make him live there, could they at least upgrade him from the lounge that looks like a bus stop?

Then we get into tr...

DJ is finally FREE from corporate tax prep, Kelly has popped blood vessels in both eyes from too much research, and somehow that’s only the beginning.

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, we get into Kaia Gerber’s story about being spiritually cleansed with a didgeridoo, Chris Hansen’s thoughts on Robert Pattinson playing him, the upcoming Anthony Bourdain movie Tony, and why having a Regal Unlimited pass has basically turned going to the movies into our part-time job.

We also talk ADHD, visual clutter and the impossible task of getting rid of...

DJ should be on a cruise. Instead, he’s doing taxes because his travel companion waited until the last possible second to remember one tiny problem: there’s a warrant out for his arrest.

Then DJ and Kelly recap a VERY busy week at the movies, including One Night Only, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Super Troopers 3 and I Want Your Sex. Which movies worked, which didn’t, and why exactly is One Night Only essentially “The Purge, but for sex”?

Elsewhere: why Dungeons & Dragons creates instant secondhand embarrassment, whether Gen Z’s declining interest in drinking and...

In this episode of Locked & Probably Loaded, DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart dive into late-night overthinking, documentary rabbit holes, anxiety spirals, sleep deprivation, and why "research is not a nighttime activity." They also share stories about organizing their homes, finding unexpected gratitude, cruise planning disasters, and the strange tricks that actually helped improve their moods. If you've ever stayed awake Googling yourself into a panic, this episode is for you.

00:00 Welcome & DJ's Sleepless Night

01:00 Why Late-Night Research Is a Bad Idea

03:00 The Documentaries We Can (and Can't) Watch

08:00 Acting...

DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart recap one of their most chaotic weeks yet, beginning with a hilariously brutal review of Her Private Hell, a film so bizarre that they couldn't stop talking about it long after leaving the theater. They also share their spoiler-free thoughts on The Odyssey, discuss Hollywood filmmaking, storytelling, and what separates artistic ambition from self-indulgence.

The conversation continues with stories from their Puerto Vallarta vacation, including travel mishaps, a nationwide T-Mobile outage that convinced them the apocalypse had begun, getting trapped in an elevator in Mexico, first-class flight upgrades, food poisoning before a...

DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart record their latest (and most chaotic) episode yet after battling internet issues, late-night recording, and travel exhaustion. They break down DJ's nightmare airline experience returning from Toronto, discuss the current state of consumer protections, corporate consolidation, Hollywood's obsession with algorithms over creativity, and why independent filmmakers are being pushed out of the industry. The conversation also covers their upcoming Mexico trip, behind-the-scenes stories from the entertainment industry, a review of a recent movie, a hilarious Supernatural fan encounter, Conor McGregor's UFC injury, the changing landscape of television and film, and why audiences are craving...

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, we're covering everything from America's Got Talent and dating horror stories to Botox, world records, and why some people should never send a text after the first date.

We react to our friends The Doohickeys' appearance on America's Got Talent, discuss how reality TV editing can completely change a performance, and celebrate Kelsey Pfendler's incredible solo row from California to Hawaii after she shattered the previous record.

Plus, we dive into cosmetic procedures, travel prep for Mexico, weed and creativity, dating etiquette, first-date red flags, Taco...

The Fourth of July gave us more material than we could've written ourselves.

They also discuss a woman leaving America to move to Afghanistan for a man she met on Snapchat, why public behavior seems to be getting more unhinged, disastrous flight delays, sneaking snacks into movie theaters, and how a dog...

After a short break, DJ & Kelly are back—and kicking off a brand new era of Locked & Probably Loaded.

This week, we catch up on everything that's happened while we were away, including Kelly's birthday celebration at the legendary Magic Castle, where one impossible illusion left us questioning reality (seriously... where did that goose come from?).

Kelly's brother Scott joins us to tell the unbelievable story of accidentally getting turned away at the Magic Castle because of the dress code, leading to a frantic Hollywood scooter adventure, an emergency wardrobe change, and one very memorable en...

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DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart are back with another unhinged episode of Locked and Probably Loaded! The duo dives deep into everything from Trump's excessive tweeting habits (565 times in April alone!) to the dangers of AI misinformation and Canadian separatist movements. They debate the merits of Fahrenheit vs. Celsius, discuss why some people shouldn't inject their own Botox, and explore the fascinating world of medical tourism in Turkey and Mexico. Plus, don't miss the hilarious dramatic reading of Scott's epic email exchange with a Nigerian scammer named Alfred, where he promises $10,000 and threatens to hunt him down in Australia...

oin DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart for another wild episode of Locked and Probably Loaded! DJ recounts his recent trip to Calgary where he received an honorary white hat ceremony (not to be confused with anything else!), dealt with freezing temperatures, and had some memorable bar experiences. The duo discusses their disappointing visit to see The Devil Wears Prada sequel, compares it unfavorably to the original, and debates the merits of various food challenges. They also dive into discussions about AI lying, invasive banking policies, modern car surveillance technology, and why dry humping was apparently a regional activity. Plus...

Welcome back to another wild episode of Locked & Probably Loaded with your hosts DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart, joined by producer Isaac Abrams! In this episode, DJ returns from an emotional weekend at Yellow City Comic-Con in Amarillo, Texas, and opens up about his upcoming parade appearance in Calgary where he's getting the keys to the city. He shares his anxiety about JFK comparisons and his deep love for the convention circuit. Kelly and DJ dive into their Puerto Vallarta obsession — recounting hilarious stories about terrible resort food (feta in a quesadilla?!), persistent geckos, and why they keep going ba...

A lively episode of Loaded Pod with D.J., Kelly, Isaac and guests — opening banter and improv, reactions to recent documentaries (FLDS/false prophet, Lou Pearlman/boy bands), a deep discussion of Below Deck season 5 and problematic cast behavior, a two-part listener call from Ivy about her best man’s arrest and wedding drama, quick takes on the Mike Vrabel/Diana Rasini story and The Boys season, practical socializing advice for a listener’s shy sister, updates about hosts’ lives and Patreon plugs. Mix of humor, blunt advice, and heartfelt moments about family and reconciliation. Chapter markers: 00:00:00 — Intro & theme song hijin...

Locked and Probably Loaded with DJ Qualls & Kelly Blackheart — chaos, camp, and candid confessions. In this episode DJ and Kelly riff on late-night movie nostalgia (A Chorus Line, Heathers), awkward theater memories, and the weird joy of revisiting cult favorites. They swap stories from emo nights at the Avalon, run-ins with fans, and drunkenly delightful takes on holiday/Hallmark comfort-watching — all with the show’s signature absurdity and heart. Then the pair dive into modern annoyances: crushed Walmart chips (complete with Kelly’s AI-made “microwaved crumbs” song), #mustardlife confessions (yes, there’s a secret mustard compartment), public parenting pet peeves, and th...

DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart record late at night in Hollywood, diving into everything from the nightmare of parking to the absurd cost of blinds and flooring. DJ shares stories from his recent Vacaville Comic-Con hosted by Parks & Rec, complete with a Sonic road trip and heartfelt fan interactions. The duo riff on viral moments including a sassy gay volleyball player going viral, teachers moonlighting on reality TV, and that mysterious Stephen Colbert McDonald's breakfast joke that supposedly saved a life. Expect candid celebrity takes, renovation horror stories, and plenty of laughs. Later, DJ and Kelly open listener Valentines...

Locked and Probably Loaded with DJ Qualls & Kelly Blackheart — a wild episode of sharp movie takes, messy internet moments, politics, and a jaw-dropping Servpro story. DJ and Kelly start hungover and hilarious, run through a “fuck/marry/kill” on Scream 7, Ready or Not 2 and Project Hail Mary, celebrate why Hail Mary belongs in theaters (4D reactions included), and roast the worst popcorn etiquette you’ll ever see. Plus: a touching voicemail from a listener about resilience, deep conversation about social-media accountability and cancel culture, a blunt political rant, and DJ’s step-by-step nightmare with a restoration company that ran up equipme...

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DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart are back, hungover and unfiltered on Locked and Probably Loaded — trading ridiculous bar stories, late-night TV confessions, and candid takes on religion, politics, and friendship. They break down a mysterious (and too-dark) horror binge, trade laughs about spilled tall-boys and karaoke in Tarzana, and debate public transit, retirement anxiety, and how much real money it would take to solve hunger and healthcare in America. Expect sharp humor, real talk, and the kinds of off-the-cuff observations only DJ & Kelly deliver.

In the second half they riff on lucid dreams and dr...

Welcome to "Locked and Probably Loaded" with DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart! In this hilarious and insightful episode, your favorite hosts dive deep into the realms of dreams, anxiety, emotional growth, and some outrageous real-life experiences. DJ kicks off the conversation by sharing a wild dream where he follows a checklist of romantic encounters, leading to a discussion about how our subconscious reflects our anxieties and desires. They delve into DJ’s recent financial stress from a hefty water remediation bill after his house flooded, which sparks a candid conversation about managing anxiety in daily life and how it of...

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DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart are back with chaotic honesty, filthy jokes, and sharp takes on everything from pop culture to geopolitics. This episode starts relaxed — tattoos, White Claws, and museum day trips — then careens into conspiracy theory debunks, war anxiety, AI paranoia, and Hollywood drama. Expect profanity, absurd dream confessions, deeply petty personal stories, and a healthy dose of "why is the world like this?" Delivered with the chemistry of two friends who will happily roast each other and make you feel better about your own life choices. What you’ll get in this episod...

HEY GUYS,

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We're back from the 2nd cruise and we're celebrating our 100th episodes by chatting about: DJ's heaven waffle, cruise recap, DJ gets a talking to by security, Kelly flavored the drinks, Jake Hay's tattoo's, and the barkley marathon.

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Hey guys,

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This week: Ice, Sleep, Names, Lindsay Graham, You Dont Stand A Chance, Having Kids, Greenland, AI Voting, Mom's Who Dont Love You, Marcello Hernandez - ENJOY!

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#DJqualls #Lockedandprobablyloaded #Kellyblackheart #probablyloadedpod #loadedpod

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The title says it all, but also Kelly reunites with her exchange student and cars.

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