Neon Brainiacs (A Retro Horror Movie Podcast)
Neon Brainiacs is a comedy podcast about retro horror movies with your hosts, and independent filmmakers, Ben and Lance (and former co-host Gregg). Your heroes break down the movie's plot, remember the good times, and get lost in plenty of humorous diversions. We love to engage with our audience, and hope you're willing to be in on the joke. While we do a play-by-play of the movie, this show is tailored a little more for those looking to laugh at their work desk. Nostalgia and laughs rule the day. We open with some fun banter, then Lance does some production...
478 - Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Whoever wins... We lose.
It's November! You know what that means...
Giving Thanks Month is BACK!
A whole month of Patron-picked movies!
First up is a very special "pick". We once promised that once we reached over 100 paying patrons, that Lance would watch the movie that a 19 year old version of himself swore he'd never watch:
That's right! This week we cover ALIEN VS PREDATOR (2004).
477 - Halloween II (1981) Redux
More Of The Night He Came Home
Happy October!
This month it's all Halloween all month!
Next up: HALLOWEEN 2 (1981).
Lance wasn't here for the original recording so this is another "Lance Gets a Chance" Redux!
All thi...
476 - Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers
Terror Never Rests In Peace!
Happy October!
This month it's all Halloween all month!
Next up: HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1995).
And Amanda Waltz is back to join in on the fun!
475 - Halloween 2 (2009)
Family Is Forever
Happy October!
This month it's all Halloween all month!
Next up: HALLOWEEN 2 (2009).
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"Are you a giant? Can we be friends?"
<...474 - Halloween (2007)
Evil Has a Destiny.
Happy October! This month its all Halloween all month!
First up: HALLOWEEN (2007).
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"I like the mask because it hides my face."
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473 - Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)
Legends never die.
September Slashers continues!. Next up: URBAN LEGEND: FINAL CUT (2000).
A driven director sets out to make the ultimate horror thesis film, only to find her production haunted by a murderer who turns campus folklore into deadly reality.Also this week: Lance hates loud exhausts, new song "Time Farts Away", and Youngsters with Baggy Pants and Low Pixel Count Cameras.
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"Urban legend, my ass."
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472 - House of Wax (2005)
Prey. Slay. Display.
September Slashers continues!. Next up: HOUSE OF WAX (2005).
Six friends on a road trip find themselves trapped in a nearly deserted town centered around a famous House of Wax attraction. As they search for help, they begin to uncover the horrifying secrets hidden behind the museum's realistic figures.Also this week: Albumz: Exies - Interia, Chad Micheal Murray is a bad boy, Ben and Lance's quirky retail customers, and What if Liam Neeson played Orphan?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"You're say...
471 - The Dentist (1996)
It's Time For Your Final Appointment
September Slashers continues!. Next up: THE DENTIST (1996).
Dr. Alan Feinstone is a successful Los Angeles dentist whose obsession with cleanliness and perfection begins to spiral out of control after he discovers a shocking betrayal in his personal life.Also this week: Albumz - Superdrag Regretfully Yours, our own dental horror stories, Lance's afternoon out with Tom Berenger, and should Ben get his hair insured?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"I am an instrument of perfection and hygiene, the en...
470 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
If looks could kill he woudn't need a chainsaw.
Happy Anniversary everyone! This episode marks NINE YEARS of Neon Brainiacs!
Stick around till the end when we reflect on our favorite aspects of the show!
September Slashers continues!. Next up: 1994's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION.
A prom‑night detour leaves a group of teens stranded in rural Texas, where they stumble into the orbit of a violently unhinged family. As the night unravels, their encounter with Leatherface and his clan becomes a surreal gauntlet of terror and chaos.Also this...
469 - Pledge Night (1988)
Brothers to the end. The very end.
After a month of off-brand sci fi blockbusters, it is back to basics wioth our new theme: September Slashers. We start with 1988's PLEDGE NIGHT.
A college fraternity's annual Hell Week takes a sinister turn when the members fall victim to the ghost of a pledge killed in a prank gone horribly wrong years before.Also this week: Return of Albumz with Jawbreaker's Dear You, Lances hate for frat movies, and is this secretly a Jackass movie?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BR...
468 - Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
It's nothing personal.
The conclusion of Awesome August! Huge '90s sci-fi blockbusters. The flavor of blockbuster nonsense you just don't get anymore.
Each week we will answer the question:
AWESOME or AWFUL?
Next up:
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY (1991).
467 - Godzilla (1998)
Size does matter.
Awesome August continues! Huge '90s sci-fi blockbusters. The flavor of blockbuster nonsense you just don't get anymore.
Each week we will answer the question:
AWESOME or AWFUL?
Next up:
GODZILLA (1998).
466 - Jurassic Park (1993)
An adventure 65 million years in the making.
Awesome August continues! Huge '90s sci-fi blockbusters. The flavor of blockbuster nonsense you just don't get anymore.
Each week we will answer the question:
AWESOME or AWFUL?
Next up:
JURASSIC PARK (1993).
And that's not all! This week we are joined by filmmaker Jeff Smee! Als...
465 - Independence Day (1996)
The question of whether or not we are alone in the universe has been answered.
A new month! A new theme!
Awesome August! Huge '90s sci-fi blockbusters. The flavor of blockbuster nonsense you just don't get anymore. Each week we will answer the question: AWESOME or AWFUL?
First up:INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996).
When mysterious extraterrestrial visitors arrive and take up positions across the globe, humanity's sense of security is shattered. People from very different backgrounds find their lives intertwined as they search for a way to confront the crisis. And that's not...464 - Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)
Evil will battle Evil
It's both Ben and Lance's birthday month, so we picked a very special theme for July: Freddy and Jason July! Two Freddy movies. Two jason movies. Then, finally, the crossover showdown. That's right! This week we cover FREDDY VS JASON (2003).
Freddy Krueger attempts to use Jason Voorhees as an instrument of terror on Elm Street. When Jason proves too hard to control, what begins as a calculated scheme soon erupts into a brutal showdown.Also this week: Obession, all the bad script ideas for this movie, and a new version of...
463 - Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986) Redux
Kill or be killed!
It's both Ben and Lance's birthday month, so we picked a very special theme for July:
Freddy and Jason July!
Two Freddy movies. Two jason movies. Then, finally, the crossover showdown.
However, we already did most of these movies...
Or did "we"? Because Lance wasn't there!
So Lance gets his turn as we revisit a classic: Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986).
And that's not all! We're also joined by frequent guest Amanda Waltz!
Trying to put his past behind him, Tommy Jarvis...462 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) Redux
If you think you'll get out alive, You must be dreaming.
It's both Ben and Lance's birthday month, so we picked a very special theme for July: Freddy and Jason July! Two Freddy movies. Two jason movies. Then, finally, the crossover showdown. However, we already did most of these movies... Or did "we"? Because Lance wasn't there! So Lance gets his turn as we again revisit a classic: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS (1987).
A group of troubled teenagers in a psychiatric hospital discover they share terrifying dreams haunted by the same supernatural killer, Freddy...461 - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) Redux
Jason is back, and this is the one you've been screaming for.
It's both Ben and Lance's birthday month, so we picked a very special theme for July:
Freddy and Jason July!
Two Freddy movies. Two jason movies. Then, finally, the crossover showdown.
However, we already did most of these movies...
Or did "we"? Because Lance wasn't there!
So Lance gets his turn as we again revisit a classic: FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER (1984).
460 - A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) Redux
If Nancy doesn't wake up screaming she won't wake up at all.
It's both Ben and Lance's birthday month, so we picked a very special theme for July: Freddy and Jason July! Two Freddy movies. Two jason movies. Then, finally, the crossover showdown. However, we already did most of these movies... Or did "we"? Because Lance wasn't there! So Lance gets his turn as we revisit a classic: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984).
When a sinister figure starts invading their dreams, a group of friends realize that what happens in their sleep can have deadly consequences...459 - Sleepwalkers (1992)
They feast on your fear - and it's dinner time.
A new Patreon Pick month continues with a pick from our Patron Red Rich Tomato: SLEEPWALKERS (1992).
In a sleepy California town, a pair of outsiders blend in while concealing their sinister, supernatural identity. As one of them forms a connection with an unsuspecting girl, their hidden agenda draws dangerous attention.Also this week: The Return of Rubberface, a weiner burns his weiner, random John Mulaney Impressions, ans the next installment of Al-Bummz with Mando Diao's Ode to Ochrasy.
All this--and a whole lot m...
458 - Dark Ride (2006)
The Last Ride You'll Ever Take...
A new Patreon Pick month continues with a pick from our Patron (and former guest) Jordan Sloan: DARK RIDE (2006).
A group of college friends takes a Halloween road trip that leads them to an abandoned amusement park attraction with a dark past. As they explore the eerie ride, they realize they're not alone—and that something tied to the park's history is stalking them.Also this week: T9 Texting, remembering MTV's 2gether, and the debut of the new segment AL-BUMMZ with Saves the Day's Through Being Cool.
Al...
457 - Pet Semetary Two (1992)
Raise some hell.
A new Patreon Pick month continues with a pick from our Patron K Jewell: PET SEMETARY TWO (1992).
In a quiet town with a dangerous secret, two boys stumble upon a place where death doesn't have to be permanent. What begins as an attempt to undo loss soon leads to consequences neither of them fully understands.Also this week: Ben's new breakfast meal, Lance tries to make sense of this script, and is there a penis in Teen Wolf?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
456 - Dracula 2000 (2000)
The most seductive evil of all time has now been unleashed in ours.
A new Patreon Pick month BEGINS! We start with a pick from our Patron Rachel: DRACULA 2000 (2000).
A group of high-tech thieves breaks into a heavily guarded London vault, accidentally unleashing the ancient vampire who makes his way to modern-day New Orleans. As he hunts for a woman with a mysterious connection to his past, others race to stop him before his power spreads.Also this week: Ben's "Hoodie Video" success, the crazy Y2K cast of this movie, and what color was...
455 - The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
The lucky ones die first.
Re-MAY-kes concludes with THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006).
While on a road trip, a family is forced off the main highway and ends up isolated in a desolate stretch of desert. Their situation turns terrifying when they discover they are not alone and something in the wasteland is hunting them. Also this week: Ben and Lance have a Sam Goody, Ted Levine Apologies, and we're also sorry. So sorry.All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"It's breakfast time!"
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Ch...
454 - The Amityville Horror (2005)
Katch 'em, kill 'em.
Re-MAY-kes continues with THE AMITVILLE HORROR (2005).
Seeking a new beginning, a family settles into a home marked by a dark history. As eerie events escalate, the father becomes increasingly affected by the unseen presence.Also this week: Lance's Meatballs 4 meltdown, Deadpool, Etch-a-Sketches, and why do guns have butts?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"Houses don't kill people. People kill people."
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453 - The Wicker Man (2006)
Some Sacrifices Must Be Made.
Amanda Waltz from The Pittsburgh City Paper is BACK as ReMAYke month continues with THE WICKER MAN (2006).
Also this week: Plenty of Cage impressions, Ben texts like a dad, and 3rd Rock From the Sun was a good show.
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
452 - Prom Night (2008)
A Night To Die For.
Join us for a our new theme: Re-MAY-kes. We start with 2008's PROM NIGHT.
Years after surviving a brutal incident, Donna looks forward to a fresh start at senior prom with her closest friends. But as the night unfolds, the dangerous presence tied to her past begins stalking her and her friends.Also this week: New weird candy that's in the toilet, Ben's limo ride, and what if Goro was in this movie?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"Oh, I'v...
451 - Exorcist 2: The Heretic (1977)
It's four years later...what does she remember?
Spring Into Sequels month reaches it's conclusion with 1977's EXCORCIST II: THE HERETIC.
As Regan attempts to live a normal life after her childhood ordeal, a psychiatrist and a priest use a controversial technique to probe her memories and monitor her mental health. What begins as therapy spirals into a far-reaching exploration of faith, shared visions, and an ancient force that spans continents.
Also this week: The Pizza Hut Pazuzu is back, Ben and Lance action Figures, and bus drivers eating hoagies?
All t...
450 - Saw 2 (2005)
Oh, yes. There will be blood.
Spring Into Sequels continues with 2005's SAW 2.
A group of strangers awakens inside a sealed house rigged with intricate traps, forced to confront their past misdeeds in order to survive. Meanwhile, detectives race against time on the outside as they attempt to stop the elusive Jigsaw killer and understand the rules of his latest game.Also this week: This film's terrible :talk to the manager: haircut, Ben loves cool raves, Lance has a new BPO movie idea, and who is Jigsaw's favorite member of the Jackass crew?
A...
449 - Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990)
The terror begins the second it starts.
Spring Into Sequels continues with 1990's LEATHERFACE: TAXES CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3.
After a chance encounter derails their journey, a young couple's search for safety quickly turns into a fight for survival when they cross paths with a brutal family tied to a legendary killer.Also this week: Country Ben Daniels, An almost "Walk It Back Cul-de-Sac", and what has been tearing our discord apart?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"So, how do you like Texas?"
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...448 - Final Destination 3 (2006)
This Ride Will Be The Death Of You.
Spring Into Sequels continues with 2006s FINAL DESTINATION 3.
After a teen's terrifying premonition helps a group escape a deadly roller‑coaster accident, the survivors soon realize Death is still pursuing them. Disturbing photographs taken that day begin to reveal symbolic clues about who might be next and how fate plans to strike.Also this week: Ben's Amplifier woes, remembering Xtina, and Mindless Self Indulgence brings out the Suburb kids.
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"F--- you, Ben...
447 - Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth (1992)
What began in Hell, will end on Earth.
This week we are joined by Dominic Scarano of the band Varkan for our new theme: Spring Into Sequels. Lance's fave!
We kick off with 1992's HELLRAISER 3: HELL ON EARTH.
After the Cenobite Pinhead becomes separated from his human conscience, his influence begins to spread through a decadent nightclub scene in the city. A determined journalist investigates a trail of bizarre deaths, unknowingly drawing closer to a supernatural horror unleashed by desire and excess.
Also this week: Windstorm woes, Clive Barker impressions, and the...
446 - Feast (2005)
They're Hungry. You're Dinner. MONSTER MARCH concludes with 2005's FEAST. A mismatched group of strangers at a remote desert bar must band together when vicious creatures suddenly attack from the darkness. Forced into uneasy alliances, they scramble to defend themselves against the relentless onslaught.
Also this week: Hard Mountain Dew, a new Bruce Springsteen song, ans Lance has some thoughts on this movie.
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"I'm the guy that's gonna save your ass."
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445 - Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings (1993)
They couldn't leave dead enough alone.
MONSTER MARCH, well, marches on as we cover the 1993 sequel PUMPKINHEAD II: BLOOD WINGS .
When a reckless prank disturbs an old grave, an ancient demon known as Pumpkinhead returns with a deadly purpose. The town's buried secrets come to light as the creature targets those connected to a forgotten tragedy.Also this week: Lance's new segments, new kinds of burger places, and Pumpkinhead's sneaky pranks.
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"This stuff is way beyond Ouija boards."
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...444 - Species (1995)
Two decades ago scientists sent a message to space... This... is the reply.
This week we are joined by Eanna and Ande of The Queens of NC-17 podcast as MONSTER MARCH continues!
Together we will cover 1995's SPECIES.
443 - The Relic (1997)
The Next Evolution In Terror.
A new month, a new theme: MONSTER MARCH! We kick it off 1997 film THE RELIC.
A mysterious creature begins terrorizing a Chicago natural history museum just as it prepares for a major exhibition. A scientist and a detective race to uncover the origins of the threat before the opening-night gala turns deadly.Also this week: The difference between a peeper and a peaker, Tom Sizemore was in Heat, and is The Bloodhound Gang okay in 2026?
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
<...442 - Poison Ivy (1992)
Ivy's best friend had the perfect house, the perfect family, and the perfect life. So...Ivy took them.
This is it! The moment you've all been waiting for: Two 40 year-old-mean review an erotic thriller about two coming-of-age girls.
That's right!
We wrap up TAINTED LOVE month with Drew Barrymore's 1992 thriller POISON IVY.
Also this week: More misheard Lyrics, Lance hates the Rat People, and Ben worked at Starbucks??
441 - The Loved Ones (2009)
Prom night can be torture
TAINTED LOVE month continues with the 2009's THE LOVED ONES.
After grieving teen Brent rejects Lola's request to the dance, she and her father abduct him to force him into a nightmarish homemade prom. Trapped and brutalized, Brent uncovers the horrifying extent of their past victims and the lengths they'll go to recreate Lola's perfect evening.Also this week: Prom Stories, Ben reinterprets a song, and get us sponsored by Sheetz!
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"Is it finger li...
440 - My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)
Get your heart broken.
TAINTED LOVE month continues with the 2009 remake MY BLOODY VALENTINE.
A decade after a mining accident massacre, the town of Harmony is terrorized again when a killer in miner's gear begins a new string of brutal attacks. As survivor Tom Hanniger returns home, secrets resurface while suspicion spreads among the townspeople.Also this week: Ben vs the KFC drive-thru, Snowmaggedon 2026, and this movie's TWO Scrooges.
All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS!!
"Happy f---in' Valentine's Day."
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Check o...
439 - Swimfan (2002)
Ben Cronin had the perfect life until he met the new girl.
New month and a new theme! Love is in the air with our theme TAINTED LOVE. We start the new theme with the 2002 diet Fatal Attraction film SWIMFAN.
A momentary fling with a mysterious classmate pulls a young athlete into a tightening web of obsession. The more he tries to pull away, the more dangerous she becomes.Also this week: Icee or Slush Puppy, Ben and Lance enjoy the Default song "Wasting Time", and remember the car theft deterrent "The Club"?
A...
