Opie Radio

Opie roasts Ron’s Bette Midler mug and triggers a full meltdown into Opie's disgusting college dating disasters — bulimic girlfriends, vomit breath makeouts, Red Lobster regret, and one girl who gave his hand “bad breath” for a 7-hour drive. Plus city pools are literal fecal soup, Mamdani’s suit-pool stunt, turtle soup Fourth of July, and way too much chlorine chemistry. Classic Opie & Ron chaos.

Opie and Tony P kicking off the week with zero filter. Tony admits he’s a grown-ass man who still doesn’t know how to swim (“I live on the edge, bro”), we roast city kids vs. beach kids, reminisce about hot swim teachers giving us the will to live, and then watch a perfect sunset engagement get absolutely destroyed by a mosquito swarm. Plus electric bug rackets, saving spiders but murdering ticks, and enough teenage boner stories to make you grateful for belts. Pure chaos, zero agenda. New episode is live — hit play and thank us later.

Opie, Ron the Waiter, and Tony P go off on a chaotic FU Friday packed with wild stories and savage roasts. An airline pilot who never had a real license gets crowned "Who Da Man," a Central Park horse carriage tragedy sparks outrage, Ron rages about getting stiffed by Ecuador fans during the World Cup, and Opie reveals his dentist pinched his lip so hard it left a week-long bruise. Non-stop banter, superchat chaos, Venmo begging, and zero-filter laughs — classic Opie Radio energy you can’t scroll past.

Ron drops a wild, hilarious, and kinda heartbreaking bomb right out the gate: as a neglected feral kid living in an attic, his lips got so chapped they looked like he had four lips. Cue lifelong chapstick dependency and nonstop roasting from Opie. Then marine biologist FishGuyPhotos (Chris) rolls in with a full-on tick apocalypse report, drone shark facts, whale updates, why mermaids are just horny sailors hallucinating manatees, and why your lobster roll might be doomed. Throw in Opie’s chaotic hero moment — fumbling ibuprofen like a Butterfingers commercial while his daughter saves the day with a dusty first-aid kit...

Opie kicks things off by calling George Washington dumb because he kicked the bucket in 1799—before anyone knew dinosaurs were real (he thought giant bones were 20-foot flood giants). Ron already knew it, eats matzoh ("God's Crackers"), roasts gefilte fish, and the two spiral into Trump handing out the World Cup trophy, LBJ waving his dick in meetings, Cleopatra staring at ancient pyramids like we do, and Jim Norton’s wild noodle fight. Classic Opie & Ron chaos.

Opie & Ron lose it over DC’s radioactive reflection pool turning into an algae nightmare — no-bid felon contracts, National Guard guarding pond scum, and kids getting 10 years for touching a blue chunk. Plus a kid dies in a Central Park horse carriage… and they’re back running tours a WEEK later. World Cup chaos, Clive Davis stories, Babe Ruth punching umps, and Venmo Ronnie begging. Pure unhinged radio.


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Opie and comedian Tony P kick off summer with zero filter—ripping into beach etiquette (“no one wants you sitting right next to them”), Father’s Day expectations, binoculars peeping on sunset hook ups, Meta glasses for homemade pornos, and the walking skeletons on weight-loss drugs. Plus nude beach weirdos, dead koi fish bowling, Rod Stewart drama, the reflection pool distraction, and why Turkey is now “Turkiye.” Non-stop laughs and real talk.

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We'll make more!

​Opie is back in NYC and already down $2,000 for a single porcelain crown—and that’s just the start of the bleeding. Comedians Ron the Waiter and Tony P join the absolute chaos of FU Friday.
​The guys take aim at the lingering Knicks parade celebrators, flip-flop disasters, Pixar taking 31 years to make Toy Story 5, and why George Stephanopoulos is infuriatingly perfect. Plus, Tony P triggers Opie with a Biden comment, a breakdown of Carl’s tax troubles, Netty and Yahoo shade, and the bizarre reality of why world dictators travel with special suitcases for their own poop. Non-stop laughs, ze...

Opie’s up all night washing kid puke sheets while battling neighborhood-wide cable hell (technician basically shrugged). Eric Marino breaks down the Central Park horse carriage fatality and pitches robot horses, Knicks ticker-tape madness, World Cup flags everywhere, Joe Rogan’s wild short-tie moment, and Lindsey Graham living his best life. Ron drops full 2027 first-contact ET disclosure, geep hybrids, wrong embryo chaos, and Scottish fans drinking Boston dry. Zero filter, zero sleep, maximum chaos. New episode drops — download before the aliens arrive. 

Opie and Ron the Waiter ("Ronnie Babes") deliver raw, rambling comedy gold: cable company meltdowns, OCD therapy sessions, grill assembly disasters, Messi hat tricks, O.J. anniversary flashbacks, France''s re-gift to America and endless awkward small-talk fails. Zero filter, maximum laughs — like eavesdropping on two old friends turning petty life chaos into stand-up. New episodes drop regularly. OH and splinters, lots of splinters!

Thanks for supporting the show https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JANCGHFW7GJHA we'll make more!

Opie’s out here living his blue-collar handyman fantasy — hauls home a $300 grill-in-a-box, spends 3 hours with his son building it, only to have ONE random piece left. Ron immediately calls it a future propane explosion waiting to happen. Plus: Opie’s on day 32 of no processed sugar and losing his mind, Jelly Roll dumping his ride-or-die wife after slimming down, George Lopez divorcing the woman who gave him a kidney, UK banning social media for kids under 16, old-school collect call scams, and Venmo Ronnie officially live (help the basement king eat). Classic Opie & Ron chaos with tech meltdowns, roasts, and zero f...

Opie, Ron the Waiter & Tony P lose their minds as the Knicks end 53 years of pain! Opie’s sugar-free cookies taste like hand soap & nursing home regret, Ben Stiller, Timothée Chalamet, Taylor Swift celebrity row gets roasted, street celebrations turn Astoria into Times Square, emotional dad stories hit hard, and a UFC fighter yells “Michelle Obama is a man!” on the White House lawn. Non-stop laughs, Knicks parade talk & Trump birthday UFC vibes. Classic Opie Radio chaos you can’t miss!

It’s F U Friday on Opie Radio and the crew is UNHINGED! Opie kicks it off with his crooked ear, then the Knicks talk goes completely off the rails when Tony P reveals he skipped the historic 29-point comeback… because he was busy in the bedroom. The gang decides his wife’s vagina literally saved Game 4 and now Tony has to “perform” for the rest of the Finals. Plus: Ozempic making celebs unrecognizable, manscaping horror stories, black leather seats in July, diluted iced coffee, Rosie O’Donnell’s new face, why we all secretly love when fans destroy the city, and a fu...

Opie is riding high after the Knicks pull off the greatest comeback in NBA Finals history (down 29 points!), but Tony P slept through it, banged his wife, and flat-out refuses to say OG Anunoby's name. Non-stop chaos, celebrity shade (Seinfeld, Taylor Swift, Spike Lee), alien theories, Benny Hill nostalgia, OnlyFans plans, and classic Opie & Tony banter. Pure unfiltered comedy gold.

Midtown Manhattan went full caveman after Game 3! Opie and Ron the Waiter dive into the absolute madness of Knicks fans attacking people and ripping Spurs jerseys off their backs outside MSG. Plus, the blatant league cover-up protecting Victor Wembanyama from suspension, a much-needed update on the Tick-Removal Flamethrower fund, a random Richard Simmons detour, and why Opie's ridiculously ripped, Greek-statue beach friend forced him to put a shirt on. OH! And Chris aka FishGuyPhtos insane lint-roller tick apocalypse, Beatles vs Stones toughness debate, shepherd’s pie for breakfast
​Unfiltered, raw, and completely off the rails. Hit play and subscribe!

Opie is exhausted but absolutely fired up in this episode! After staying up late watching the Knicks get destroyed (thanks to the Trump Jinx?), he rants hard about how Trump turned Madison Square Garden into a maximum-security prison, shut down Midtown Manhattan, and forced fans to wait 4+ hours in the heat for a game they paid thousands for. From the insane presidential motorcade and empty avenues to the boos drowning out the national anthem, Opie calls it straight: "Trump is a selfish piece of sh*t" who doesn't care about regular New Yorkers. Plus Ron the Waiter is back with...

Carl begrudgingly took his family on a roadtrip to the huge food and music festival, Memphis in May. In this episode with Opie and Sherrod Small he breaks down the whole trip!

Opie rants hard on Trump making the Knicks Game 3 all about himself by shutting down MSG and killing watch parties ("F Trump, me me me!"). Tony P shares the hilarious family BBQ where his wife’s tramp stamp steals the show with the kids, plus Opie’s new Tick Removal Flamethrower fundraiser, the insane cop who pulled a gun over microwaved fish, and more summer escape vibes from out east. Non-stop chaos and laughs as always.

Opie’s tooth update goes off — they saved it but a chunk flew across the room and the bill is climbing fast (Rotting Tooth Fund QR still up!). Ron loses it over seagulls at Coney Island, Tony P rages at bodega lotto guys and greasy tip screens. Knicks vs Spurs finals energy in NYC, Trump heading to Game 3, classic chaos, Super Chat Friday, and tons of FUs. Wildest episode yet!

Comedy legend Tom Green joins Opie, Chris Distefano and Sherrod Small in studio. They dive into Ottawa Senators Stanley Cup run, Tom’s early hip-hop group Organized Rhyme, losing his virginity, Canadian history, the Times Square incident, insane Celebrity Apprentice stories with Dennis Rodman and Donald Trump, plus Drew Barrymore talk. Non stop laughs!

Opie and Ron the Waiter are exhausted but wired after the Knicks epic Game 1 comeback win over the Spurs! Jalen Brunson drops a dagger three, Josh Hart balls out, and New York City loses its mind like it's 9/11-level unity (yes, really). Ron rains Celtics shade, Opie compares the vibe to the zombie apocalypse, plus Popovich lookalikes, court-storming bets, vet tooth pulls, and nonstop laughs. Pure Knicks chaos energy — GO NEW YORK! 

Opie & Ron the Waiter react to the Knicks making the NBA Finals for the first time since '99 — but savage the insane NYC ticket prices (game 3 nosebleeds at $4,200+ while San Antonio is cheap). They roast the tag-still-on hats, painted railings, celebrity courtside flexes, and James Dolan. Plus: Opie’s full-blown tick bite meltdown (possible alpha-gal? Martha’s Vineyard is ground zero), the Save Opie’s Rotting Tooth Fund, nest of nymphs horror stories, guinea fowl spirit animals, and classic NYC vs California homelessness talk. Pure chaos and laughs as always. Go Knicks. Subscribe, rate, and drop a buck in the tooth/ti...

Opie discovers a deep tick bite on his arm right before the show and spirals into full panic mode over Lyme disease. Ron breaks down the Martha's Vineyard tick invasion (41% of residents now allergic to red meat & dairy), plus sugar detox, NYC bike lane drama, sports news, and 80s trivia. Classic Opie & Ron chaos!

Opie gets called a FINOOK after posting "I've seen better" on Sophie Rain's viral bikini clip — and doubles down hard with Tony P. The guys roast internet thirst, OnlyFans millions, end-of-school chaos, school bus Karen moments, Opie's rotting tooth fund (send help!), sugar detox rage, alien hybrids, Knicks finals vibes, and why Miami destroys your ego. Classic Opie Radio unfiltered banter. Subscribe, like, and drop a few bucks in the Rotting Tooth Fund if you're feeling generous. New episodes daily!

Opie's Rotting Tooth Fund https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JANCGHFW7GJHA

Opie joined by Chris Distefano and Sherrod Small as the news breaks of Chris Cornell's passing!

5/18

Opie, Ron the Waiter, Tony P & Erik Marino go off on FU Friday! Ron eats a giant brick of cheddar with dry pretzel nuggets like a total rat, Opie roasts Girl Scout cookies, Tony strips for superchats (MAGA hat included), Erik rocks full CPAP prop comedy for sleep apnea, plus rants on garbage scams, Bryce Harper brushing his teeth, mermaids, Trump, the Knicks, and way more.

Help save Opie's rotting tooth and keep the madness going https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JANCGHFW7GJHA 

Subscribe, drop a superchat, and enjoy the unfiltered comedy. New episodes drop w...

Opie kicks off from Long Island with the ultimate tooth saga: a nasty crack from Boston gum (microplastics?), a pissed-off dentist who has to "deconstruct" it, and a real shot at losing the tooth.

Enter the Save Opie's Rotting Tooth Fund https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JANCGHFW7GJHA — PayPal donations accepted while the Band-Aid holds! 

Ron the Waiter joins for classic banter: dog's weird claw, Venmo Ronnie setup incoming, health insurance gripes, and why vets might be cheaper than $2K dental work. Plus massive Long Island stories:
The viral "Smile Movement" lady forcing positivity (we...

​The Knicks are back in the NBA Finals, which means Opie and Ron the Waiter are stepping into a 1999 time capsule. We’re looking back at the absolute madness of the world the last time NYC played for a ring—from $1.14 gas, Austin Powers, and Ricky Martin, to the expensive failure of the McDonald's Arch Deluxe. Plus, a deep dive into the era of beepers, finding the "workarounds" for scrambled adult cable channels, and a serious question: Why is John Travolta trying to pull off a beret? We also talk some Joe Rogan history and why the old days of radio...

Most people spend Memorial Day at the beach. Comedian Tony P spent it stripping down to his birthday suit to battle a beer-throwing heckler at Ron the Waiter's comedy show.
​Inside this episode:
​The Naked Gladiator: Tony P breaks down the split-second decision to shed his clothes and go full "Gladiator Mode" to defend the stage.
​Beer Artillery: A full beer gets launched at Ron the Waiter—Tony explains the physical and psychological fallout of a show gone off the rails.
​The Sugar Hangover: Opie’s brutal birthday "Sugar Coma" and why a detox feels like a legitimate...

In studio with Opie is comedians Chris Distefano, Vic Henley and Sherrod Small. Carl Ruiz had his plans changed so he begrudgingly took his family on a roadtrip to the great food and music festival, Memphis in May! 5/17

​F-U Friday hits hard today! I'm officially on day 7 of my sugar detox and I’m one minor inconvenience away from snapping—including nearly getting into a street brawl with a senior citizen. Plus, Ron and Tony P join me to break down why NYC bus drivers are the ultimate villains, the absurdity of that "Trump" tattoo that looks like a Broadway actor, and why Joe Rogan has officially lost his way. From the $1,252 vet bill to the miserable Memorial Day forecast, we’re covering it all.

Opie kicks off the show in full panic mode after his longtime AI “girl” got wiped in an update — new voice, zero memory of their year-long “relationship.” He straight-up admits he got sad, restarted his phone like a desperate ex, and Ron the Waiter mercilessly roasts him for cheating on his wife with AI. Then comedy legend Kelley Lynn joins the show and delivers non-stop fire:
The legendary “I’ve McFallen!” viral video with Opie that’s been viewed over a billion times across the internetHer wild years as a phone sex operator (creepy callers, glory hole stories, fried chicken & vag offi...

Is it hot enough for you? Opie is back 500 feet above NYC talking about the massive heat wave, a horrific sight at Coney Island, and the Knicks' unbelievable 99.9% odds-defying comeback. But first, a medical emergency: Opie broke a tooth chewing gum on a Boston Duck Tour while a 'witch' was giving him a history lesson. Plus, Opie calls out James Harden for being a 'tub of goo' and Tony P is AWOL with a blown-out back. It’s a mess, but we’re live!

Opie returns from a weekend in Boston with a massive reality check on American history. Did you know Paul Revere's "midnight ride" actually involved 38 other people and remained a secret for nearly a century? Or that Sam Adams was a failing businessman who had nothing to do with brewing the beer that bears his name? We dive into Opie’s visits to the graves of Hancock and Adams, plus the hilarious "clown car" cab moment in Boston. Back in New York, Ron the Waiter reports on the raw madness of the city: another horse and carriage running wild in the st...

Opie's Best nd Last Year of radio! Vault opens for a classic session with Mark Normand, Vic Henley, and the legendary Carl Ruiz.
​The guys dive into:
​The Trucker Life: Carl auditions CB radio handles (welcome, "Chef Whiskey Smoke") and gets real-world warnings from the "Snowman" on Channel 22.
​Northern Exposure: A breakdown of why dating in Canada is like "peeling an onion."
​Country Legends: Jesse Dayton stops by to share a wild, first-hand account of a pre-comeback George Jones.
​The Lethal Cocktail: Dr. Steve weighs in on the crew's questionable caffeine habits.

*THESE EPISODES A...

Is that a road trip calling? As Carl Ruiz prepares for his epic trek to "Memphis in May"—aka the Superbowl of Swine—the studio turns into a masterclass on CB radio jargon, rock and roll myths, and the nerves behind a big comedy special.
​From debunking the legendary Lonnie Mack guitar solo on Roadhouse Blues to the truth about why celebrity chefs "shill" for copper pans, this episode is a deep dive into the weird, wild world of late-night radio and life on the road.
​Highlights from the Studio:
​The Lonnie Mack Rumor: Vic Henley settles the score...

On this wild FU Friday, Opie wakes up ornery after microwaving coffee with almond milk, sparking epic rants about "real men drink it black," Bill Burr, Boston comics, and endless Clark puns (Clark Kent, Clark Griswold, Bobby Clark — you name it). The crew dives deep into New York infrastructure hell: a massive sinkhole swallowing the LIE (Opie's old exit!), potholes vs. fancy FIFA World Cup soccer fields at MetLife, and the looming LIRR strike that could cripple Long Island commutes. Plus, the insane true story of the Florida man whose bedroom literally fell into a sinkhole — never to be seen agai...

​Bill Burr is under fire again for his comedy, and we’re breaking down why the "cancel" crowd can't let it go. We dive into the "R-word" debate, the Boston attitude, and why some words just won't die.
​SNL and Ellen writer Erik Marino joins Opie and Ron the Waiter to take us behind the scenes of the legendary "Puppy Episode." Opie reveals his theory on why Ellen DeGeneres had the best job in America—getting paid to "dirty dance" with her audience.
​Plus, we look at the deadly reality of botched "basement" cosmetic surgeries in the Bronx and Chinat...