The Greatest Movie Ever Made

TGMEMiversary and Halloween Horrorthon simultaneously kick off this week with a milestone episode covering Tobe Hooper's slasher masterpiece (slashterpiece?) THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. It's a nice long chat this week as we dive into the many grimy nooks and crannies and examine this movie's ties to Vietnam, Ed Gein, factory farming, and... Attack of the Clones? Ok, we maybe get off topic once or twice, but it wouldn't be Episode 150 of our show if we didn't.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) is directed by Tobe Hooper and stars Marilyn Burns, Paul A. Partain, Edwin Neal, Jim...

It's fall and there's a chill in the air so grab your coziest sweater and snuggle up close with your life-sized silicone sex doll for a romantic night listening to us chat about LARS AND THE REAL GIRL! We promise to try to be mature about this because the movie is honestly very sweet. We barely even talk about Fleshlights at all!

Lars and the Real Girl (2007) is directed by Craig Gillespie and stars stars Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider, Kelli Garner, and Patricia Clarkson.

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle...

All hail Harry Dean God Damn Stanton! This week, David and Justus are talking about John Carroll Lynch's directorial debut, LUCKY. A hell of a movie for lovers of Guys With Faces, this picture also contains a lot of existential musings and a LOT of smoking. Mix yourself a Bloody Maria, light up an American Spirit and tune in to this week's episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Lucky (2017) is directed by John Carroll Lynch and stars and starring Harry Dean Stanton, David Lynch, Ron Livingston, Ed Begley Jr., Tom Skerritt, Barry Shabaka...

Well, gang, it's the 25th anniversary of one of the worst tragedies in American history so you know David and Justus are gonna be extra respectful on this one! Or at least they'll be as respectful as Charlie Sheen and Martin Guigui were when they cooked up the misguided 9/11 chamber drama about 4 characters and 1 ill-defined Russian supermodel getting stuck in an elevator. Is this movie as bad as it sounds? Only one way to find out. Time to fasten your seatbelt as we lift off for another episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

9/11 (2017...

Whodunnit? David and Justus, in the podcast studio, with the microphones! That's right, today we're tackling cult classic camp comedy CLUE (1985). David and Justus attempt to give a respectful send-off to the legendary Tim Curry this week, but get sidetracked by a lengthy discussion about the ample cleavage on display in this film. Real classy, fellas!

Clue (1985) is directed by Jonathan Lynn and stars Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Martin Mull and Lesley Ann Warren.

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

This week David and Justus have chosen to cover The Book of Henry. May God have mercy on their souls.

The Book of Henry (2017) is directed by Colin Trevorrow and stars Naomi Watts, Jaeden Martell, Jacob Tremblay, Sarah Silverman, Lee Pace, Maddie Ziegler, and Dean Norris.

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

David and Justus close the casket on the lost episode of THX 1138 and piss on its grave by covering the only movie to mash up trucking, arm-wrestling, a terrible kid performance, and Sylvester Stallone. It’s an 80s film that could only come from the bizarre dream factory of the Cannon Group, and the boys are here to push it to the limit and winner takes it all through every cheesy montage, cliche, and awesomely bad moment from Over The Top! And for real, David hates this kid performance.

Over the Top (1987) is directed by...

No episode this week because I am a big stupid dumb dumb who messed up the recording.

- Justus

Next week Over the Top starring Sly Stallone

David's out this week, so Justus has tagged in past guest Audrey Young to fill the host's seat and she brought some thrills and chills with her in the form of the 2007 vampire flick 30 Days of Night! Without David there's 80% less film knowledge and 200% more ADHD rambling, but Justus and Audrey still manage to get into the nitty gritty of this frozen gorefest. Hear them swoon over how dreamy Josh Hartnett is and puzzle over why Ben Foster is talking like that. All this and more on The Greatest Movie Ever Made?

30 Days of...

Oh no! That dastardly Thing is creeping around another Antarctic outpost, and this time he’s a CGI abomination! Tune in to hear the highs and many, many lows of this studio-mutilated prequel to Carpenter’s most legendary horror film. 

The Thing (2011) is directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen, Eric Christian Olsen, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

Rob Zombie makes his second appearance on the show as the boys dig through the ditches of his Hellbilly Deluxified take on Michael Myers. For the first time, explore the difficult upbringing that turned a sweet little boy into a killer in a Shatner mask. Can Zombie and his cast of horror character actors create a unique Halloween film worthy of the franchise’s legacy or is he just another Carpenter Copycat?

Halloween (2007) is directed by Rob Zombie and stars Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif, and Sheri Moon Zombie

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle C...

Join the boys as they snuggle up with Ethan Hawke, Larry Fishburne, and the hot chick from The Sopranos for a snowy siege in this remake of John Carpenter’s action classic. Also, John Leguizamo makes a startling reappearance and the boys still haven’t gotten over The Pest. Grab a smoke, hunker down, and take aim at this new episode!

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005) is directed by Jean Francois Richet and stars Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne, Maria Bello, and Drea de Matteo

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

David has taken the reins of the podcast for the month and is subjecting Justus to remakes of John Carpenter classics. We’re kicking things off with The Fog, a spooky seaside tale given a mid-2000s update in all the wrong ways. The Horror Master is taking a break this month and cashing checks. It’s Carpenter Copycats!

The Fog (2005) is directed by Rupert Wainwright and stars Tom Welling, Maggie Grace, Selma Blair, DeRay Davis, and Kenneth Walsh

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

It’s 4th of July, dipshits! Justus and David are celebrating all the things that make America the greatest country in the world: barbecues, ballgames, kicking the British in the nuts 250 years ago, and Nicolas goddamn Cage. Wrap your lips around a hot dog and join the boys for a whitewashed, sanitized, Disney friendly adventure through American history. Just ignore all the slavery and genocide committed by the Founding Fathers and you might just find a real treasure of an episode waiting to be discovered!

National Treasure (2004) is directed by Jon Turtletaub and stars Nicolas Cage, Diane Kr...

David and Justus are sucking in their guts and smoothing out their wrinkles this week as they dive into the zany horror-comedy cult classic DEATH BECOMES HER! The star-studded cast and wacky body horror is sure to delight the boys, but will they drink the potion that gives this flick eternal life in the hallowed halls of the TGMEM canon? Or will Zemeckis's first film on the podcast take a header down a long flight of stairs? Most importantly of all, what comes up when do a Rule 34 search for this movie? Twist your neck back into place and...

HOO-AH! Al Pacino makes his illustrious debut on The Greatest Movie Ever Made this week in the color-drenched comic book noir DICK TRACY! Warren Beatty's ego knows no bounds as he unleashes a profoundly weird creative vision, complete with a bunch of character actors caked in prosthetics and a smokin' hot Madonna. Will David and Justus hop on the Beatty train and delight in this phantasmagoric thrill ride? Or does the "more is more" approach of this picture end up sinking it like a pair of cement shoes? Find out on The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Dick...

This is a free preview of the full episode, which can be found on our Bandcamp page here! You can pay-what-you-wish to download the episode there!

David and Justus are trying out something a little different with their first-ever installment of a potentially recurring side show: TV Party! The inaugural episode finds them unraveling the tangled web of David Lynch's surreal experimental masterpiece Twin Peaks: The Return. Pour some damn fine coffee, pick up a box of donuts, and settle in for this super-sized chat about one of the strangest television events in history!

Music: “Fr...

With the horrors of The Pest safely in the rear view, Justus and David turn their eyes toward the cosmos. The notorious Roland Emmerich has cooked up some wacky sci-fi hijinks with ancient aliens and space Egyptians, and all this will surely make for a better movie than what the boys had to endure last week. Drink seven beers, practice your bad Ray Winstone impression for some reason, and join Kurt Russell and James Spader to discover the wonders beyond the Stargate.

Stargate (1994) is directed by Roland Emmerich and stars James Spader, Kurt Russell, Jaye Davidson, Viveca...

For some unknowable reason, David picked The Pest this week. Hear him regret this decision on-mic and be berated by Justus for forcing this vile undertaking upon the podcast. It's tough to stay on-topic for a movie that your memory is actively attempting to repress as a trauma response, so they take some detours into anecdotes about past drug experiences, and (of course) the criminal history of one Jeffrey Jones. Does this sound like a fun time to you? We can guarantee one thing: it beats watching The Pest!

The Pest (1997) is directed by...

It’s high time that the boys talk about the Coen brothers and they’ve decided to remedy that by discussing their first impressions of Barton Fink. Stay tuned for all the John Turturro action you crave. It’s time to get your Fink on!

Barton Fink (1991) is directed by Joel Coen and stars John Turturro, John Goodman, Judy Davis, Michael Lerner, and John Mahoney 

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

Justus and David have been studying the blade and are discussing Jim Jarmusch’s ultra-cool movie with an ultra-cool title. Stay tuned for facts about bears, more bad Werner Herzog voice, and thoughts about this genre-defying flick. Wu-Tang forever!

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) is directed by Jim Jarmusch and stars Forest Whitaker, John Tormey, Cliff Gorman, Henry Silva, and Issach de Bankolé

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

Justus has decreed that the podcast will cover one Muppet movie per year, so it is once again time to dive into Jim Henson’s world of whimsy and felt puppets. This time, the boys are talking about the cultural moment that was and is The Muppet Movie, the first big screen adventure of Kermit and his friends. So hit play on your pod catcher and find the rainbow connection with TGMEM!

The Muppet Movie (1979) is directed by James Frawley and stars Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Richard Hunt, and Dave Goelz

Music: “Fractals” by Kyl...

In space, no one can hear you podcast, and the boys are making their yearly return to the Alien franchise to discuss this divisive third installment. Join them in the dingy hallways of Fury 161, where the only thing scarier than poorly composited xenomorph effects is evil 20th Century Fox producers. Plus, David and Justus get called in for an unexpected meeting. All this and more cosmic horrors await!

Alien 3 (1992) is directed by David Fincher and stars Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Paul McGann, and Brian Glover

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat...

So the director of The Descent totally shit the bed with his Hellboy remake, probably pissed off some producer, and has spent the last few years making direct to streaming slop. And the boys are going to talk about one of those! Neil Marshall returns to the podcast with a sexy wife/leading lady in tow and a bottom of the barrel Aliens rip off for the ages!

The Lair (2022) is directed by Neil Marshall and stars Charlotte Kirk, Jonathan Howard, Jamie Bamber, Mark Strepan, and Hadi Khanjanpour.

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat...

Rutger Hauer makes his long overdue return to the show, and the boys couldn’t be happier to once again be Slutgers for Rutger. Watch him slay watermelons and gross fat guys, and hear David get unreasonably angry about the child performance in this episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made

Blind Fury (1989) is directed by Phillip Noyce and stars Rutger Hauer, Terry O’Quinn, Brandon Cooper, Charles Cooper, and Noble Willingham

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

On the trail we blaze! With March Sadness in the rearview, the boys tackle a certified David Scandura Childhood Classic this week with THE ROAD TO EL DORADO. Is childhood nostalgia enough to overcome the rampant racism in this film? More importantly, are these animated horses hot??? Tune in to find out this week on The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

The Road to El Dorado (2000) is directed by directed by Eric "Bibo" Bergeron and Don Paul and stars Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Rosie Perez, Armand Assante, and Edward James Olmos.

Music: “Fr...

Oof, gang. March Sadness is going out with a bang with the critically-acclaimed family drama Aftersun. Tune in to hear David and Justus dissect the many small cruelties of being a man in his 30s. Plus: both of our hosts trauma dump about memories from childhood and beyond. Also, there's a surprisingly lengthy Cum Town riff? All this and more on this week's episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Aftersun(2022) is directed by Charlotte Wells and stars Paul Mescal, Frankie Corio, Celia Rowlson-Hall, and Brooklyn Toulson

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audi...

Justus’ March Sadness has inadvertently led to what could be its saddest installment yet. The boys discuss Robert Redford’s Academy Award winning debut feature and also spend too much time talking about Barbara Streisand's basement mall!

Ordinary People (1980) is directed by Robert Redford and stars Donald Sutherland, Mary Tyler Moore, Timothy Hutton, Judd Hirsch, and M. Emmett Walsh

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

March Sadness continues with a classic of French cinema, the story of a Frenchman who loses his farm because he spends too much money on wine. Okay, it’s a little deeper than that. Tune in to hear David and Justus’s bad French accents and discover more about this provincial (and Provençal) bummer of a film!

Jean de Florette (1986) is directed by Claude Berri and stars Yves Montand, Gerard Depardieu, Daniel Auteuil, Elisabeth Depardieu, and Margarita Lozano

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

Justus kicks off his theme month, March Sadness, with a real bad time! Join the boys as they talk about this ugly depiction of grief and make a few too many jokes about it in the process.

Manchester by the Sea (2016) is directed by Kenneth Lonergan and stars Casey Affleck, Lucas Hedges, Michelle Williams, Kyle Chandler, and CJ Wilson

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

The podcast “fires up” as the boys “butt” heads over Jason Reitman’s satire about the horrors of the tobacco lobby. They also ramble about Steven Seagal, Watto visits his friend Jeffery, and Jigsaw takes Luigi Mangione under his wing. 

Thank You For Smoking (2005) is directed by Jason Reitman, Maria Bello, Cameron Bright, Adam Brody, and Sam Elliot

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

This week, Jada Pinkett Smith is hot, Billy Zane serves, CCH Pounder loses an arm, and the Crypt Keeper rises from the dead for a spooktacular episode of the Gravest BOOvie Ever Made!

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) is directed by Ernest R. Dickerson and stars Billy Zane, William Sadler, Jada Pinkett Smith, CCH Pounder, and Brenda Bakke

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

So, apparently, the guy who played Mac in Predator also directed movies, and Justus and David are here to talk about one of them. Hear the boys discuss Larry goddamn Fishburne, coked out Jeff Goldblum, and the slick film noir stylings of Bill Duke’s Deep Cover.

Deep Cover (1992) is directed by Bill Duke and stars Laurence Fishburne, Jeff Goldblum, Victoria Dillard, Gregory Sierra, and Clarence Williams III

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

The boys quite literally kick off a new season of episodes with The Raid! Tune in to hear all the gory details about the martial arts and extreme violence of the Indonesian action classic. 

The Raid (2011) is directed by Gareth Evans and stars Iko Uwais, Joe Taslim, Donny Alamsyah, Yayan Ruhian, and Pierre Gruno

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

Another year of cinema has come and gone, and your drunken, illiterate hosts are here to break it all down. The movies were full of Irish vampires, zombies with big cocks, and Christmas Adventurers, and the boys are sharing their thoughts on the best, worst, disappointing, and surprising films of 2025. Enjoy a few small beers and kick off the new year with the Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

It’s not every day that James Cameron has a new flick out in theaters, so the boys are seizing the opportunity to talk about Jim’s first journey to Pandora. It might be the most successful film of all time, but TGMEM really thought they needed to add their opinions on the kinky hair tentacle sex, unobtanium, and white savior narratives (and by white, we mean blue). James Cameron has done it before, but can he deliver the Greatest Movie Ever Made once again?

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

Avatar (2009) is direc...

It’s getting colder and winter is settling in, so David and Justus cozy up around this wintry western with a delightful cannibal twist. If Robert Carlyle’s menacing man eating doesn’t scare you, the appearance of a convicted sex offender will! Gather round and chow down on this new episode of the Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Ravenous (1999) is directed by Antonia Bird and stars Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, David Arquette, Jeremy Davies, and Jeffrey Jones

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

The Christmas season kicks off with the only movie bold enough to combine the horrors of the zombie apocalypse, the melodrama of a musical, and the joy of Christmas into one cinematic experience. There’s singing, dancing, Christmas cheer, and zombie killing in store, but is this genre-bending romp The Greatest Movie Ever Made?

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) is directed by John McPhail and stars Ella Hunt, Sarah Swire, Malcolm Cumming, Christopher Leveaux, and Paul Kaye

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and White Bat Audio

This year’s Thanksgiving episode finds Justus and David discussing the classic John Hughes comedy that, despite its title, features precisely ONE plane, ONE train, and multiple automobiles. Plus, they recount their own Planes, Trains and Automobiles-esque experience driving in an electric car that almost caused a seismic rift in their friendship. Remember Del Griffith’s motto: like your job, love your wife, and listen to the Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) is directed by John Hughes and stars Steve Martin, John Candy, Laila Robins, Michael McKean, and Dylan Baker

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle...

This week, the Governator returns to the podcast with this dystopian sci-fi action adventure. Tune in to hear David and Justus break down the satire, violence, and stalkers of The Running Man, and why it’s a real shame that Dynamo probably won’t be in the new remake. And yes, expect both of our hosts to do terrible Arnold voices on this episode of the Greatest Movie Ever Made!

The Running Man (1987) is directed by Paul Michael Glaser and stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Richard Dawson, María Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto, and Jim Brown.

Music: “Fractal...