Back To The Show

This movie is why I never became a Boy Scout...or a football player...or a ventriloquist...or an actor.

I want to live in world where Annie survives, gets out of prison a few years later, and participates in a matchmaking reality TV show called 'Misery Loves Company' - not for herself, but for her pet pig, Misery.  

In this episode, I question why the movie isn't titled Death Becomes Them, since both women drink the elixir. Also, is that Turbo from American Gladiators making a cameo?

Two things I learned while doing this podcast:  Nobody wants to be face-swiped during sex, and bringing home a kid to replace your deceased son only works if your wife knows about it first.

In this episode, we dive into Max Cadey's cheek-chewing fetish, the use of Pepto Bismol in 90's movies, and Robert drops some MTV Movie Awards knowledge that will nauseate even the strongest of stomachs.  

Foot fetishes, dick guns, stripping vampires, what more could you want in a podcast?  What's that?  TarzDan The Magnificent?  Done and done.    

It's almost Christmas time, and what better way to celebrate than to revisit the holiday classic Reign of Fire?  Hey, if Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Reign of Fire.  

It's not the night I'm judging so much, but rather this big-budget version of Hide and Seek.  Oof.

Sometimes, whether you realize it or not, the title of the movie you're about to watch is trying to warn you.  

Virtuosity is one of those movies that deserved a sequel.  There, I said it.  I don't care how it makes me look.  By the way, Robert drops one of the best taglines in the history of taglines in this episode.  

Opinions were divided on this one.  One of us enjoyed revisiting it after all these years, one of us will never watch it again, and one couldn't help but wonder what a movie about killer cereal would look like.  

"Stop or I'll Shoot Myself" became my prevailing thought while watching this movie.  I mean, Stallone fights crime in a diaper for Godsakes.  This is all your fault, Schwarzenegger.    

We're back!  It's been a minute.  Apologies.  But what better way to celebrate our return than deep-diving into Arnold's greatest role?  Conan The Barbarbian!  That's what we should've watched, but these assholes won't let me.  So, we watched Twins instead.  Whatever.

Rollerball is one of those movies that make you want to strap on a pair of roller skates, go to your local rink, then hold onto the side of the wall as five-year-old children call you a bitch as they pass you on the left.   

Robert ponders why you can't just kick Chucky across the room, and Jonas farts at the 1:15:30 mark.  I turned it up so everyone can hear it.  

In this episode, we praise Gene Hackman's badassery, while also admitting that when Leo dies in a movie, it's hard not to imagine a door floating right next to him that he chooses not to grab onto.  

If you've ever lost both of your parents to lightning strikes or wondered what a jar full of tears tastes like, this is your podcast.  

Hot take:  Willow plays like the Great Value brand of the Lord of the Rings movies.  Also, we play one of our favorite games, Roger Ebert's Reviews.   

Let's be honest, a better title would have been Preventing Cameron's Suicide Day -- yeesh.

Well, it's finally here.  Robert wore us down for over a year while championing Grease 2.  I still have mixed feelings, but I'm sure I'll come to terms with how I feel one day.  About Robert, I mean, not the movie.

You can't spell Predator without "biceps".  In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the only reason we all wanted to watch this again.

In this episode, we re-review Robocop while simultaneously trying to figure out whether Robocop takes dumps or not.  

If you've ever wanted to watch a moody teenager give John Candy some lip, this one is for you!

A new poem by Lois Lane:  "Can you hear me out there?  Do podcast lovers even dare...listen to three friends talk shit about a man that flies through the air?  That's fair.  I got paid, so why should I even care?"

"Regulators, mount up...shit, Billy just killed somebody."
"Fargin' hell, Billy, what did you just do?" 

There you go, you've just experienced Young Guns.  But you haven't listened to our podcast, which includes way more fargin's than the actual movie.   

On this episode, we lament Arnold's excessive one-liners, going so far as to question...is it possible the Austrian Oak wrote them himself?  Also, I already regret writing that Austrian Oak line. 

The Good Son asks the age-old question, who would you drop from a cliff onto a series of jagged rocks that presumably obliterated their body into a million pieces:  Your son (not so good) or your nephew?  I have my answer.  Do you?

After watching The Crush, Single White Female, and The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, I'm strangely saddened that my wife hasn't attempted to try and kill me.   

If you've never seen Passenger 57...always bet on black. Trust me, that makes just as much sense as when Wesley Snipes says it.

Jealousy. Obsession. Short haircuts. What else could you want in a sexy thriller? What's that? A cat thrown off a balcony window? Done and done.

In honor of R. Lee Ermey: This is the kind of podcast that will make you laugh so hard you'll crap your mother's panties. These guys hate on Seagal so bad that when Seagal takes a shower, he's going to need a bar of soap made up of unicorn kisses to wash away his tears.

There's a lot to like: The set pieces are fantastic, the characters are well-developed, and don't get me started on the action. Unfortunately, the movie I'm talking about is Braveheart, not this hot turd. But hey, at least we get to do our first ever award show! That's something!

In this episode Jonas discovers it's okay to cry in front of other people and we all agree that watching Ghost Door would have made for a better movie.

Fans of Cary Elwes should turn away now. The guys and I break down who the real predator here is...and it's not Alicia Silverstone. Also, We Can Make It Better makes its first appearance on the show.

It's a 2 for 1!! We review both the Alien Nation theatrical movie, as well as the Alien Nation TV show. Which one is better? You'll have to listen to find out.

We're back with a little...time...to kill. The guys and I review one of JCVD's most popular movies, Timecop, and discuss whether his ass still holds up after 20 years. You're a liar if you say you're not intrigued.

Who hasn't wanted to punch the store clerk in the face after the Slurpee machine stops working? Michael Douglas knows. We also get to play a brand new game and If There Was A Sequel is back!

We dive into Juliette Lewis' singing performance and TarzDan The Magnificent makes a guest appearance.

You may have always asked yourself, "Why wasn't there a Surviving The Game 2?" Here's your answer: Because there was a part one.

Pee Wee's Big Adventure...also known as An Autistic Man Looks For His Bike For Two Hours.