Breaking Mayberry

Voice actor and Make Me a Nerd host Mandy Kaplan joins the studio to talk about Baby Talk, an ill-fated attempt to translate the success of 1989's Look Who's Talking to the small screen. "Talking Baby" was apparently the idea we couldn't let go, as ABC tried three different times to make this show work. We're suffering through all we can as our look at failed TGIF sitcoms continues.

The Goon Royale carnage continues with John Wick 3, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Sisu, and Django Unchained.

This episode has everything! Attack dogs, porno, horse kicks, Werner Herzog impressions, exploding Tarantino, delicate conversations about history's greatest monsters, Dan being roasted, landmines, Gold, Sonic the Hedgehog, bikinis – the list goes on! What more could you want from a podcast?!

Can the unbreakable will of Sisu beat out the hyperactive Django Unchained? Is Hard Ticket to Hawaii basically softcore porno? There's only one way to find out.

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In this unlocked bonus episode, Marty and Dan cover one of the worst shows of all time. My Mother the Car is a bizarre TV Relic that should have stayed buried but we can't help ourselves. It's just failure and loser energy all over the place with this one, folks.

We're meeting back up with our friend Teen Angel but things are looking a little different now, muich more manly, much more rugged, much more designed to appeal to a young male audience. And you know who young boys love more than anything? That's right, big JVD to the rescue again.

We're covering Dredd, Big Trouble in Little China, The Raid, and Violent Night. Episode contains spoilers.

LAST TIME ON GOON ROYALE: Fifth Element took the Bad Boys down, much to Marty's relief. Con Air was completely obliterated, much to Marty's chagrin. What other emotions can we make Marty feel? 


TODAY: We're joined by the great David Dylan Thomas (Director of White Meat: Appetizer) to enjoy some chaos, carnage, and christmas magic.


Put the guns away, it's time for the goons to face FISTS and SWORDS and FE...

Continuing our journey into TGIF's most cursed attempts at success, we move on to 1997's Teen Angel. Teen Angel is a bizarre oddity from a pair of Simpsons writers about a dead teenager who comes back to help his best friend through high school, which apparently means teaching him to date.

Plus, Marty is the defender of space.

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What do you do when your TV show isn't connecting reaching the youth? You gotta bring out the BIG GUNS, the one man who gets it, the coolest guy on the planet, every kid's favorite... Jerrrrrryyyy Vaaaannnn Dyyykkkeee

We're chugging along on the TGIFailure train with another dash of genie work, more You Wish.

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We're starting a new mini-series! TGIFailure explores the terrible shows that ABC tried to make into hits throughout the 80s and 90s by shoving them into their mildly successful TGIF block!

First up, You Wish - an incredibly annoying attempt to ape that Sabrina-the-Teenage-Witch magic, but with a guy that will make you scream and beg for Pauly Shore.

Watch all of You Wish and read its backstory on Archive.org

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We close out our Mad About Mad About You miniseries with a look at the four- (four!) episodes that make up Mad about You's first series finale - until NBC changed their mind and brought it back with a baby.

Continuing its streak of not caring about tv "rules", Mad About You brings everything to a big crash and we are along for the ride, stressed-out and angry!

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Today we're covering Hard Boiled, Con Air, Bad Boys 2, and The Fifth Element. Episode contains spoilers.We're joined by our dear friend Charlie Nash (Almost Major Podcast) to enjoy this assortment of psychos and dirtbags.


In the land of badasses and bad cops, who makes better target practice?

Oh also just a heads up, we kinda forgot how evil Bad Boys 2 is so maybe give that Wikipedia a quick skim before you watch.

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It's another episode of our action movie tournament GOON ROYALE. The great Jeff Stormer (Party of One) joins us to cover Robocop, You're Next, Sinners, and Road House.

Can the scrappy You're Next upset the juggernaut Boddicker Gang? Will the haunting vampires of Sinners overcome the lumpy dipshits of Road House? Listen to find out.

Want to know what happens next? We’re four full episodes ahead over at https://www.patreon.com/c/breakingmayberry

Mackenna Goodrich from the podcast Informed Attraction comes by to talk about Richard Kind, Star Wars porn parodies, and the only sitcom brave enough to ask "what if a Republican married a slightly different Republican?"

We're talking about Mad About You Season 4, Episode 17, "The Glue People"

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We're back! With some more Mad About You! In Season 2, Episode 20 "The Last Scampi", Paul and Jamie's families feud over mid-tier Italian. In our studio we debate proper baseball sportsmanship, define phone etiquette, and make Marty realize he's made a huge mistake with his sister's wedding!

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What if the biggest problem with Dracula wasn't the whole sucking-blood thing, but really just that he's kind of a dick? That's the question we explore in this unlocked former-Patreon exclusive. Marty and Dan redisocer the lost anime Dracula:Soverign of the Damned - a technically-Marvel movie where Dracua takes Satan's girlfriend.

No, I don't mean they have an affair, he just kinda takes her. Not like kidnapping per se but like... okay just listen to the episode.

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New Mini-Series Alert!

Welcome to Goon Royale, a tournament where we'll answer the incredibly dumb question: which movie has the best goon deaths? For the full bracket and list of films, click here.

Our first matchups are: 
Kill Bill Vol 1 vs. Shogun Assassin
Tombstone vs. 13 Assassins

SPOILER ALERTS for all movies

Will the shogun's ninja pull off an upset against the Crazy 88? Does Johnny Ringo count as a goon? Will this whole thing drive Da...

On "Mad About You", Jamie strips at a job interview and Paul still manages to be the reason the job is endangered.

On our show, Marty saw a play and now it's everyone else's problem.

Mad About You Season 4, Episode 9 "I Don't See It"

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Sex educator, friend of the show, and woman of many talents Dr. Timaree Schmit stops by the show to talk about Paul and Jamie's bedroom trouble, and how it becomes everyone else's problem. We talk up Dr. Ruth and Marty has to do a little therapy of his own.

It's Mad About You, Season 3, Episode 9 "Once More, With Feeling".

Show friend Harris "Dr. Nerdlove" O'Malley is back to talk about THE FUTURE of 1994. In this episode of Mad About You, Paul has a steamy virtual reality encounter with a computer-generated Christie Brinkley and that's somehow the second thing Jamie is mad about.

Dan, Marty, and Harris dissect this AI affair in Season 2, Episode 15 "Virtual Reality"

Check out Harris' new podcast "Do As We Say, Not as They Did" and check out all his work at DoctorNerdlove.com 

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It's a brand new mini-series! We're taking it to the 90s with the bickering banter of Mad About You! In this series, we break down the relationship of TV yuppies Paul and Jamie Buchman, two crazy kids in love trying to make it despite being completely unable to ever stop fighting, like ever.

This episode breaks down the pilot and Season 1, Episode 6 "I'm So Happy For You", we discover new phrases, find a new guy to hate, and play everyone's favorite game show, "Are They Gonna Make It?"

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Introducing our new Patreon Series, Goon Royale.

Over the course of 31 head-to-head matchups, we'll be determining once and for all which movie has the best goon deaths. That's henchmen, hired thugs, and devoted followers and the various ways they get blasted, stabbed, exploded, whatever. 

It's fun, it's rowdy, it's deeply macabre! Get all these episodes and other bonus goodies for $8 a month at Patreon.com/breakingmayberry 

It's our Seson Finale, and we're talking about 1998's Pleasantville, a movie where a black-and-white sitcom turns color and everyone gets really mad about it! Sound familiar?

We talk about all that P-Ville has going on, which is a lot - and everything it does really well, which is most of it, and the stuff it doesn't do well, which is... whooo, buddy.

Anyway, remember if there's an issue with this movie, Gary Ross knows and does not care.

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In this episode we take on the worst Twilight Zone episode, featuring TV's most irritating man. Also Marty read a book and now everyone has to hear about it.

Note: Chuck Norris has died. In "tribute", enjoy this 2019 bonus episode we recorded about a particularly terrible episode of Walker Texas Ranger. For more bonus episodes, subscribe to our Patreon!

Original description: 
It's a special bonus episode are Marty and Dan meet another CBS lawman, Texas Ranger Sergeant Cordelle Walker. We're amazed as Walker takes on the Yak-a-za, in an episode that's not as racist as it could be, but still pretty fucking racist. When an old friend with ties to the Japanese mob comes to Dallas, Texas, Walker has to bust up a strip-mall do...

This episode gets weird as we talk about Ringo Starr's hypothetical podcast, decide another thing is a CIA psyop, and debate philosophically about threesomes. We relate to teens with the most relatable teen show in the country, a show loved by teens in a way we definitely understand.

There's music in this episode too and all of it is bad. Season 6, Episode 30 "A Singer In Town"

A podcast that's actually about Dragnet can be found here.

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In this episode we get into the TRUTH and ask HARD QUESTIONS. What really happened at the Battle of Mayberry? Who's horny for commercial pitchmen? How far will Dan go to avoid talking about an episode he hated?

It's Season 6, Episode 27 "The Foster Lady" and Episode 29 "The Battle of Mayberry"!

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In this episode, Marty has some questions about a potato chip brand and Andy Griffith tells us all why it's bad for women to have jobs.

It's Andy Griffith Season 6, Episode 28 "Goober's Replacement"

Marty and Dan return with good vibes for the new year and a new sidekick for Andy. Opie almost kills a baby and Marty has a scuffle in a government office.

Andy Griffith Season 6, Episodes 24 and 25 "A Baby in the House" and "The County Clerk."

Honestly somehow our most Catholic episode, in spite of the slurs not because of them. We deal with some gross episodes from Season 6, including one we can't write the title of without using a slur, so have fun with that!

POP QUIZ HOTSHOT!

There's an episode of Andy Griffith that's actually good and Dan doesn't want to talk about it, but if you don't do a schtick the podcast will explode. 

What do you do? What do you do?

Well in our case you vamp and try to figure out the exact amount of lung damage needed to do a perfect RFK Jr impression.

It's Andy Griffith Show Season 6, Episodes 21 and 22 "Aunt Bee Learns to Drive" and "Look Pa, I'm Dancing!"

No longer in GLEE-land, the boys can't help but talk about Tombstone and funerals.

A wild west show moves into town and Aunt Bee commits insurance fraud in Andy Griffith Season 6, Episodes 19 and 20 "Lost and Found" and "Wyatt Earp Rides Again".

As we cover our final Glee episode, Season 6's "Child Star", we break down our final therapy feelings about the New Directions, what happens when nostalgia comes for us, and the rich history of tentacle porn.

We spend a lot of this episode talking about Lea Michele's insane broadway career because it's the least upsetting part of what we're going to discuss. This is the Season 5 Glee episode "The End of Twerk" (or something like that, I'm not looking it up) and there is... SO MUCH here. None of it good. Some of it horrifying. We hate this.

NOTICE: This is the Glee school shooting episode. We talk about the school shooting parts from about 40:00 to 51:30.

Okay look there's really nothing funny here but Glee's gonna try to find something they can use! Ryan Murphy's never met a tragedy he couldn't exploit. Also, there's some stuff in here about catfishing which is INSANE.

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Host, gamer, and mighty little man Jeff Stormer from the Party of One Podcast comes by to talk about some TV with RPG elements - namely 00's Disney Channel hit Lizzie Mcguire and the hottest TV show we almost did a podcast about - Young Sheldon!

We talk about Lizzie's fashion and their weird hatred for liking stuff, and Marty has a real revelation about his viewing habits.

Listen to Marty play Lights Out on Party of One: https://www.partyofonepodcast.com/2025/08/10/464-lights-out-with-marty-schneider/

Listen to Dan play Shitty Ensigns on Party of One:https...

The Glee Club is back in session and the boy's recording studio - like the Glee club's practice room on GLEE - is in a state of flux.There are crushes that make no sense, songs that shouldn't be good, and a joke that didn't not-age-well because it was already gross as hell to begin with.

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Thank you to Party of One's Jeff Stormer for your help on the intro, listen to...

Okay, so the Glee-kend continues and we were pretty drunk at this point, I don't know what to tell you. Angry showers and Duran Duran montages happen in this one. Also, texting and driving is bad, kids.








It's Season 3, Episode 3, "Big Brother"

Special thanks to Kae Lani Palmisano for helping us narrate this intro.

Marty and Dan meet the Susan and Sharon, the 80s TV Ladies for a two-parter dedicated to the magical '60s sitcom Bewitched. We learn the barbaric nature of early pregnancy tests, talk about the "secret sexy magic lady" subgenre, and mostly have fun with a chimp wearing little people clothes!

Check out 80s TV Ladies for the other half of the crossover!

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Hey pal, are you going through a tough time? Trouble at home? Parents not doing well?

Well, how do you think that makes ME feel, huh?! I gotta like, live while you're over there being sad? 

Have you ever thought about how your being sad affects me, the star of Glee and also reality? (These people are all sociopaths, holy shit.)

It's Season 2, Episode 3 of Glee - "Grilled Cheezus"

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Marty and Dan leave the '60s for the bizarre 2010s. We meet the Glee Club, the weirdest, meanest, most annoying group of people ever to make your grandparents uncomfortable. It's all pop tunes and Obama-era optimism here in the Gleekend, and it makes us sick!

It's Glee Season 1, Episode 3 "Acafellas"

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Ol Barn's back in town, bay-bee and he is as infuriating as ever! We finally get #justiceforthelmalou and the Manhunt franchise ends with an inevitable wet thud.

At least Warren's almost gone, though.

Season 6, episodes 17 and 18 "The Return of Barney Fife" and "The Legend of Barney Fife"