Plane Tales

With the influx of new Airbus airframes, Virgin needed more pilots and not just to occupy the right hand seat… there were opportunities for promotion to Captain much earlier than had been the norm.  When I joined the time to command was about 8 years. Looking back I did my first sector with Virgin in July 1994 and it was now November 96, 2 years 4 months later and I was already starting my pre-command training.

A typical month of Tornado flying might accru 25 hours in 15 sorties. As an airline pilot I could easily do that in 2 sectors!

And my heart went!  Thump, thump, thump; thump, thump!

I was lying in the King Edward the 7th hospital imagining Phil Collins playing drums on my heart while watching the monitor and wondering how I was going to support my family after I’d been permanently grounded with this condition that had come right out of the blue.  The specialist had confirmed my GP’s diagnosis of…

Digoxin was a plant extract from Foxgloves used as far back as Roman times!

Good old Cookie.

The brilliant P...

We last spoke to Basam when he was doing his Jet Upset Training but now that he has his dream job it was appropriate that we should chat again on one of his London layovers.  In particular, he is flying around a war zone which presents additional challenges to a civil airline pilot.

Basam in London near St Paul’s Cathedral

Post interview

A flock of seagulls had chosen that moment to break ground from the grass beside the runway and fly across our path. They disappeared under the nose as we climbed away and cleaned the aircraft up… no noise of an impact but then we noticed the No 2 engine’s N1 vibration number was pulsing and reading a bit high.  So starts another Tale from my flying logbook.

Marauding seagulls at Shannon

The A340 Cockpit

Setting the landing flaps to Config 3

The next tale from my RAF Logbook, albeit now being filled with civilian flights for Virgin Atlantic Airways…

A Virgin A340-300 going round the checkerboard at Kai TAk airport, Hong Kong.

The checkerboard approach from the flight deck.

The treasured Hong Kong landing authorisation card.

The second part of an interview with Alan Munro, retired RAF pilot and Cold War warrior, where we talk about his book… Fast Jets on the Front Line.

A 19 Sqn F4 Phantom

A 228 OCU F4 Phantom

An RAF Chinook helicopter

In this tale we listen to part of an interview with author Alan Munro who talks about his recent book, Fast Jets on the Front Line.

Interviewing Alan

The Gloster Javelin

A tale that might have been forgotten but here it is from APG670!

This tale isn’t about me operating into the massive aviation hub of Chicago O’Hare Airport but of how it got its name. For that, I’m going to take you back into Chicago’s seedy past to the days of Prohibition and the notorious gangster, Al Capone.

Enjoying a beer in Chicago!

Destroying beer during Prohibition.

Al Capone and Easy Eddie

Delving into my log book yet again I recall thatI had flown a couple of supernumerary trips to John F Kennedy airport in New York, sitting in the back of the cockpit watching how it was done but now it was my turn to clamber into the hot seat to start my line training with Virgin Atlantic.  I was also flying with the Chief Pilot so absolutely no pressure!

Compared with the Airbus A340, the old Boeings were beginning to look a bit like dinosaurs!

The confusion of aircraft flying over the...

From the French word saboter, sabotage refers to the act of bungling, botching or wrecking something, particularly for political or military aims.  It is derived from the French word for a wooden shoe, a sabot and likely refers to clumsy work carried out by those peasants who clattered about in such simple footwear. The world of aviation escaped known acts of sabotage until 1933 when a sleek and streamlined Boeing 247 of United Air Lines Flight 23 taxied to the departure gate at Newark Airport to allow it’s passengers to embark.  At a time when most airlines were flying flimsy wood and c...

I’m sorry dear listener but the logbook stories continue unabated with the next instalment. I had been inducted into Virgin Atlantic Airways Ltd and, after completing the type rating technical exam we were dispatched to the heart of Airbussery, Toulouse in France, to undergo their simulator training course.  There were about 10 of us but, other than our sim partner, we didn’t have a lot of time to get to know each other with our busy month long schedule.I’d been paired up with a 340 pilot from the Northern Isles of Scotland and was all set to pick hi...

I’m sorry dear listener but the logbook stories continue unabated with the next instalment. I had been inducted into Virgin Atlantic Airways Ltd and, after completing the type rating technical exam we were dispatched to the heart of Airbussery, Toulouse in France, to undergo their simulator training course. There were about 10 of us but, other than our sim partner, we didn’t have a lot of time to get to know each other with our busy month long schedule.

The SAAB 340… a little smaller than the A340!

Lufthansa A340, the A340 lau...

In earlier decades, the early demise of pilots was mainly based on empirical evidence and based on the well publicised news of an ex colleague’s early death. However, in 1992, the time when I was putting in my papers to leave the RAF to pursue a life as an airline pilot, the Flight Safety Foundation published a study which seemed to confirm that pilots died at a younger age than the general population. The oft quoted statistics that a retiring pilot would only have 5 years to enjoy their pensions was quoted… BUT WAS IT TRUE!

Early...

So the logbook tales continue. I am out of the RAF and seeking an airline job but in the downturn there are few available. In the meantime I am working for British Aerospace flying Tornado F3s on trials flights. I had also been given the chance to deliver a Hawk 100 series trainer to the Royal Malaysian Air Force. I left you at Bangkok having turned a brand new aircraft into a blow torch and nearly cooking an inquisitive guard.

Flying the last leg to RMAS Butterworth

We complete our 7,000 NM to...

Colin will be visiting California in a few weeks and will speak at the Voices of Valor Gala Dinner, A Tribute to the Greatest Generation, to be held at the Palm Springs Air Museum California Gala Dinner on the 8th of February 2025. https://palmspringsairmuseum.org/gala/

Colin Bell telling us his story

The cockpit of a Mosquito

This Tale is a continuation of the interview of World War II pilot Flight Lieutenant Colin Bell DFC. At the age of 103, Colin recalls with perfect clarity what it was like to fly his De Havilland DH 98 Mosquito bomber into action as part of a Pathfinder Squadron. This Tale is the second part of the interview with Colin, the opportunity for which I have to thank my old friend Bob Judson. Having had a high ranking career in the RAF, Bob is now a consultant in the field of psychological, life and executive coaching and has a podcast, Leading 4...

You are sitting in your airliner and the handsome, pretty or in a non-binary sense cute, elegant, lovely or in a non exclusive way charming, fine, interesting or personable flight attendant is standing in front of you to demonstrate the safety features of your aircraft. Hopefully if you enjoy the airline pilot guy enough to be listening to this you might have more than just a passing interest in what safety equipment there is onboard the average big, well equipped, airliner.

Most airlines show the gender-specific pronouns that are typically used to refer to people in the...

It is rare to have the opportunity to meet one of the brave young men who flew and fought in the Second World War so I was delighted to be able to talk to Flight Lieutenant Colin Bell DFC. At the age of 103, Colin recalls with perfect clarity what it was like to fly his De Havilland DH 98 Mosquito bomber into action as part of a Pathfinder Squadron.  This Tale is just the first part of the interview with Colin, the opportunity for which I have to thank my old friend Bob Judson.  Having had a high ranking career in...

I’m moving things on a bit in my logbook tales as it seems to be taking forever to get to the end so here’s the next one. I’d found a temporary job with the aircraft manufacturer British Aerospace flying Tornados and Hawks but now I was getting invitations to interview for jobs with a number of airlines. After months of drought, the flood gates seem to have opened and after wishing for just one offer I now had the opportunity to chose who I would go to. First, however, I needed to get through the interviews.

...

My logbook tales continue and after 5 months without an income the bucket of shekels I had to keep us afloat was starting to run dry… I could see glimpses of the bottom. Luckily the mortgage on our modest 2 up, 2 down, 250 year old, Scottish stone, terraced cottage at Leuchars wasn’t excessive and we had pared our living expenses down to the bone.  The sniff of some flying work for British Aerospace down at their factory at Warton, however, was very, very welcome.

RAF Warton during construction in 1938

The TSR2 and Panavia Tornado...

Stories from my logbook continue with the last few weeks of my service career, which were a blur of form signing, return of equipment, formal dinners, informal parties, speeches and gifts, all accompanied by feelings of regret and excitement at to what my future held. I flew my last flight in an F3 leading a 3 ship out over the Scottish highlands and then, after everyone had landed, I beat up the squadron low and fast. I then planned to do a low, slow pass with a full burner pull-up into the vertical…

My full burner cli...

Log book stories still abound but I’m now on the last volume of my small collection of RAF Form 414s.  Unbeknown to me back then, my time in the Air Force was fast coming to a close. When I was offered the job on the Tornado it was on the understanding that I would serve an additional year to amortise the cost of training and I was now in coming up to the completion of my term of service, 19 years or aged 38 which ever was longer.  If I signed on again it would be to age 55.  What’s more, I...

In the words of it’s benefactor, “It has been described as the most exclusive Club in the world, but the entrance fee is something most men would not care to pay and the conditions of membership are arduous in the extreme.” Other clubs that sprang up during the World Wars are more a measure of the bravado, luck or good fortune of its members to make use of an aircraft’s emergency survival equipment but the club I will tell you about today is one that honoured the grim stubbornness of its members to overcome the pain and disfigur...

My logbook tales continue with my tour on Tremblers flying the F3 Tornado which had got off to a difficult start when our compliment of brand new aircraft were shipped off to other squadrons and, in return, we received the dregs of the RAF’s Tornado ADVs.  They certainly weren’t in the best of condition and I began to think I was fated when I was forced to divert following a generator failure and X-drive clutch failure on an air test but then I was looking forward to leading a detachment down to Coningsby to fight F-16s over...

It’s the summer of 1971 and Helen Reddy is singing about hiking down to the canyon store to buy a bottle wine and having such a good time.  I have no doubt that the nine prominent Salt Lake members of the Fishy Trout and Drinking Society returning from their deep sea fishing trip were feeling equally relaxed as they boarded their flight back home from Los Angeles. They were getting onto a Hughes Airwest DC-9, Flight 706, the forerunner of Capt Jeff’s beloved Mad Dog and Angry Puppy, belonging to a new regional airline purchased and renamed by Howard Hughe...

The numeric version of three previous Tales covering the A to Z of Aviation.  Now we look at what numbers might mean to pilots?

Babylonian numeric text

The Japanese Zero fighter

As you may recall I was undergoing the training course for the Tornado F3 Air Defence Variant having completed four previous flying tours.  Now being a senior officer it made the job of working as a student again a little more bearable.

The Old Pilot’s logbook tales continue:

An RAF Tornado Air Defence Variant

67° wing sweep

Form 414, my RAF Logbook continues with me leaving Australia and the Hornet unhappily in my rear vision mirror as I was heading back to Blighty and a cold winter in Lincolnshire.  No 229 Operational Conversion Unit was the training unit that would give me my first taste of the Mighty Fin, the Swing Wing Super Jet, Mother Riley’s Cardboard Aeroplane otherwise known as the Air Defence Variant of the Tornado.

Not just a British aircraft, the Tornado was a project involving Germany and Italy as well.

A cutaway of the ADV Torna...

After I landed my aircraft I clambered out of the Hornet with the cold realisation that I might have flown my last sortie.  The spinning sensation had ceased and the sortie had gone beautifully, it was almost as if it had been a bad dream. A continuation of tales from the Old Pilot’s logbook, RAF Form 414.

Was the sun about to set on my career?

The surgery span round and round

The year is 1957 and the space race is underway.  The major powers around the world, mainly the Soviet Union and the United States, are all striving to develop the technology that will allow them to reach outer space. The Soviet Union’s Academy of Sciences prime aim was to beat the Americans into Earth orbit and their top secret Sputnik project was about to reward all the efforts put in by a generation of scientists and engineers.  Sputnik 1 was soon to be placed atop an R-7 rocket and launched into a low orbit to become the first artificial Earth Satel...

Let me take you back to the dim distant past and Captain Jeff’s start with his legacy airline, ACME, I mean Delta, no ACME, Delta, Acta, Delme… oh whatever. His career started, not in the Captain’s seat but somewhere in the bowels of flight deck, sitting sideways with control panels in front of him instead of windows, that stretched to the ceiling!  Jeff was an engineer on his favourite three holer, the Boeing 727. The loss rate for this iconic airliner was, unhappily, quite high.  As of 2019 the aircraft had suffered 351 major incidents of which 119 resulted in a total loss...

Two of the Saratoga’s F14 Tomcats were tasked to defend the carrier against a simulated attack during Exercise Display Determination 87. The leader of this small formation included a senior pilot and skipper of a newly arrived Junior Grade Lieutenant Timothy Dorsey. Many years later, Dorsey would be nominated for promotion to a one-star Rear Admiral, an appointment that required Congressional approval.  What stood in his way was an incident that occurred during that fateful day in 1987.

USS Saratoga

Timothy Dorsey

Part 2 of my interview with my mate Matt, steely eyed rocket man extraordinaire.

Goonhilly

Gyros and spacecraft in Telstar

The interior of Telstar

At first glance he looks to be a rather scruffy and unkempt elderly chap but behind the heavy glasses there are two twinkling eyes that reveal more than you can imagine.  Indeed, appearances can be deceiving as this retired RAF Technician could have well been a steely eyed missile man as he controlled military satellites around during the Cold War.  Meet my mate Matt!

Sputnik

RAF Oakhanger

In the tale, the Applegate Memorandum, I described the difficult birth that McDonnell Douglas had with the DC-10 when it’s safety record was permanently marred by a cargo door design flaw that plagued its introduction.  Sadly, this wasn’t the only issue that was going to discredit the aircraft in the eye of its passengers and they would ultimately condemn the world’s first 3 engined wide body as a dangerous failure.  Although the aircraft’s problems with its cargo doors could be firmly laid at the feet of McDonnell Douglas, the next disaster that the aircraft would have to cope wi...

I left you last time after we had returned with our Hornets from New Zealand having had a very productive and interesting few weeks working with the Kiwi A4 Skyhawks.  We soon settled back into our Squadron HQ at RAAF Williamtown and started to work up some Maritime Strike tactics against the ships of the Australian Navy.  These were early days for the Australian Hornets and the anti ship missiles that were to be purchased had yet to be properly integrated into the aircraft’s weapons system… and so continues the Tales from the Old Pilot’s Log Books.

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The conclusion of a chat over a pint with Wood Duck, the Royal Australian Air Force Air Attache to the Australian High Commission in London.

Images of No 2 OCU when it was equipped with the FA18

The handover of No 2 OCU Hornets to the new commanding officer and the new F35 Lightning fighters.

As a fighter pilot on the newly formed 77 Squadron Royal Australian Air Force, now equipped with brand new FA/18s, we had many experienced pilots but before long we also acquired pilots on their first operational type.  One such pilot was Woody, or more formally known as Wood Duck and flying the Hornet was just the start of a long career in aviation that took him all around the world.  Now the Air Attache at the Australian High Commission in London, Woody and I met at a local hostelry and had a beer whilst talking about old times.

...

So you want to be an airline pilot? You want to travel the world, visit strange and exotic countries and immerse yourself in the wonders of foreign cultures? You want to make a good living, bring up a family and plan for a wonderful retirement driving your luxurious RV around the wide open spaces of your beloved country? Has it crossed you mind that your chosen occupation might not be the safest way to achieve your dreams?

The Old Curmudgeon rides again

Airliner crashes are rare events

I trust that you will recall the stories from my RAF Logbook which had reached the point of my first Hornet deployment to New Zealand to work with the Kiwi A4 Skyhawks of No 75 Squadron Royal New Zealand Air Force at Ohakea.
The squadron we were working with had a rich history and I was sure I was going to enjoy my time with them.

75 Sqn RNZAF formed with Wellingtons purchased by the New Zealand government

75 Sqn A4 Skyhawk