People Soup

We often think about recovery as something we do after the productive work is finished.

But when is the work ever really finished?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super challenges that assumption:

“Recovery is productive.”

Amanda suggests that self-compassion isn't just something we think about — we need to act on it. And that can include taking care of some of the basics of our physical wellbeing and building opportunities for recovery into the working day.

Ross explores what that might look like in practice.

Recove...

Being kind to yourself doesn't mean lowering your standards.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super challenges the idea that self-compassion and ambition are somehow incompatible.

Amanda shares what she learned from comparing her experience of her Master's degree with her doctorate ten years later, after developing self-compassion.

She was still ambitious. Still driven. Still wanting to achieve.

But she wasn't doing it at the cost of herself.

So perhaps the question isn't whether we should be ambitious or self-compassionate.

Perhaps we can be kind...

When something difficult happens, we can move very quickly from what's happened to what we're going to do about it.

And suddenly we're going from 0 to 100 in nanoseconds.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super offers a remarkably simple question:

“What do I need right now?”

Ross explores what might happen if we create a little space before we react.

The answer might be:

We often think of boundaries as something we put in place to manage other people's demands.

But what if a boundary is actually an act of compassion towards ourselves?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super describes boundary setting as a “radical act of self-compassion”.

She talks about including ourselves in our own circle of compassion, rather than trying to be all things to all people and paying the price ourselves.

Ross also brings in the idea of fierce self-compassion: sometimes compassion isn't about being softer. Sometimes it's about bein...

When something goes wrong, it's easy to add another layer of difficulty by being hard on ourselves.

What's wrong with me?

I should be able to handle this.

Why can't I cope?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super recalls a nurse telling her:

That comment helped Amanda discover self-compassion — and it got me thinking about how differently we sometimes speak to ourselves compared with the way we'd speak to someone we care about.

So here's something to try:

I...

What if being kinder to yourself doesn't make you less ambitious — but helps you work, recover and live more sustainably?

In this episode of People Soup, I talk to Dr Amanda Super, an occupational and coaching psychologist, author and founder of Creating Compassion. Amanda specialises in self-compassion and compassionate leadership, working with organisations across the public, private and not-for-profit sectors.

Amanda's own journey into this work is fascinating.

At 19, she had flunked her A-levels and was struggling with her confidence. Psychological support helped change the trajectory of her life. Years later, when she be...

I'm taking a short break from People Soup during August.

Before I do, I'd like to leave you with one final invitation.

Give yourself permission to stop.

Not forever.

Perhaps for ten minutes.

An afternoon.

Or even a few weeks.

In this final People Soup Quick Spoon before the summer break, Ross McIntosh reflects on what happens when we pause—and what we might notice if we resist the urge to keep going.

Here's something to try

Give yourself permission to st...

If your holiday had a soundtrack, what would it be?

Music has an extraordinary ability to transport us back to particular moments in our lives.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross invites you to use that deliberately: choose one song that represents not simply where you're going, but how you'd like to be while you're there.

Curious? Present? Connected?

Here's something to try

Choose one song and play it each morning during your holiday.

Then, months later, when you hear it by chance, pause for a...

Have you ever unpacked your suitcase and, within three days, felt as though you'd never been away?

Recovery isn't simply about taking time away from work. What we do with that time matters too.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross invites you to think about what you might bring home from your holiday—other than souvenirs and dirty washing.

Perhaps it's reading for ten minutes.

Walking after dinner.

Leaving your phone in another room.

Here's something to try

Before your holiday ends, ask yourself:

We can spend ages planning a holiday.

Where we'll go. What we'll eat. What we'll see.

But perhaps there's another question worth asking:

Who do I want people to experience on this holiday?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross McIntosh invites you to shift the focus from what you want to do to how you want to show up.

Patient? Curious? Playful? Present?

Here's something to try

Before your next break, choose three words that describe how you'd really like to show up.

This holiday, don't just photograph where you went.

Photograph what you noticed.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross McIntosh explores how taking one intentional photograph each day can become an exercise in awareness rather than documentation.

Instead of collecting pictures of famous landmarks, collect moments of attention—those small details you would probably have walked past if you'd stayed on autopilot.

Here's something to try

Each day, take one photograph of something you only noticed because you slowed down.

When you get home, don't ask:

...

One of Ross's favourite places to visit on holiday isn't a famous landmark...

It's the local supermarket.

Why?

Because holidays have a wonderful way of awakening our curiosity.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the idea of beginner's mind - approaching ordinary places as if you're seeing them for the very first time—and why curiosity helps us become more present.

Here's something to try

On your next holiday, visit somewhere completely ordinary—a supermarket, a café or simply a street you've never walked before.

Then...

Have you ever arrived on holiday, only to find your mind is still back at work?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores psychological detachment - one of the key ingredients of effective recovery. It's not just about leaving work physically; it's about leaving it mentally too.

Ross shares one simple ritual to help you make the transition into your holiday with a little more intention.

Here's something to try

Before you finish work:

What if your next holiday wasn't simply time away from work — but an opportunity to reconnect with what matters?

In this solo episode, Ross explores why recovery is much more than rest. Drawing on behavioural science, the Job Demands-Resources Model and research into leisure time recovery, he shares a fresh perspective on why holidays can help us rebuild one of our most important leadership capacities: our psychological flexibility.

Ross introduces the holiday matrix—a simple coaching tool to help you recover with intention rather than drift through your break on autopilot.

Whether you're trav...

Most of us have a way of managing our time.

A diary.

A calendar.

A to-do list.

But how often do we give the same attention to our energy?

In this Quick Spoon, chartered coaching psychologist Dr Rose Aghdami shares a simple but powerful idea: if we think of energy as a limited resource, perhaps it deserves managing just as carefully as our time.

This Quick Spoon is taken from my full conversation with Dr Rose Aghdami, author of How to FUEL Your Resilience.

If...

Sometimes the signs that we're running low on resilience aren't dramatic.

But underneath, something feels different.

In this Quick Spoon, chartered coaching psychologist Dr Rose Aghdami shares some of the subtle warning signs that we might be running on empty, and invites us to ask a simple but powerful question:

Am I thriving, or am I simply surviving?

This Quick Spoon is taken from my full conversation with Dr Rose Aghdami, author of How to FUEL...

Sometimes the questions that shape our careers don't come from research papers or textbooks.

They come from the people we meet.

In this Quick Spoon, chartered coaching psychologist Dr Rose Aghdami shares the client conversation that transformed the direction of her work.

After hearing a client ask, "So you mean work can make you ill?", Rose found herself asking another question:

If work can contribute to poor mental health, could it also become a place where people thrive?

This Quick Spoon is taken from my full conversation with Dr...

What does resilience really mean?

For many of us, the word has become associated with pushing through, staying strong and simply carrying on, whatever life throws at us.

In this Quick Spoon, chartered coaching psychologist Dr Rose Aghdami offers a different perspective.

Rather than seeing resilience as suppressing difficult emotions, Rose suggests that resilience starts with acknowledging them. Feeling worried, overwhelmed or vulnerable doesn't mean you've failed—it means you're human.

This Quick Spoon is taken from my full conversation with Dr Rose Aghdami, author of How to FUEL Your Resilience.

What does resilience really mean?

For many people, the word has become associated with simply pushing through, coping no matter what, or carrying on regardless. But what if resilience isn't about becoming tougher at all?

In this episode I'm joined by chartered coaching psychologist Dr Rose Aghdami, author of How to FUEL Your Resilience.

Together we explore why resilience has developed such a mixed reputation at work, how one conversation with a client changed the direction of Rose's career, and why staying human might be the most resilient thing we can do.

We often assume that if we're not taking action, the problem must be motivation.

But what if there's more to it than that?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a practical framework shared by organisational psychologist Dr Joe Gray, based on the work of Professor Sharon Parker.

Before judging ourselves for not following through, Joe suggests asking three simple questions:

Together, they offer a more compassionate and practical way...

What does it really mean to be proactive?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a key insight from his conversation with business psychologist and author, Dr Joanne Gray.

Many organisations say they want proactive employees, but we often confuse proactivity with simply being helpful or saying yes to every request.

Jo explains that real proactivity is different. It's about spotting opportunities to improve things, taking initiative, and creating positive change before someone asks you to.

Ross explores the difference between reacting to what's already happening and making space to shape...

Sometimes the people closest to us can see things we've become blind to.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a powerful moment from his conversation with organisational psychologist Dr Joanne Gray.

After years in a demanding corporate role, Joe made the decision to leave. When she shared the news with her Dad, his response was immediate:

"Thank God for that."

Those four words revealed something important. While Joe had been pushing on, those closest to her had already noticed the impact that work was having on her wellbeing.

...

What happens when your body starts telling you something you don't want to hear?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a moment from his conversation with business psychologist, consultant and author, Dr Joe Gray.

While working in a demanding corporate role, Jo began experiencing a persistent "flicky eye". What seemed like a minor irritation turned out to be a sign that something deeper was going on.

It's a reminder that warning signs don't always arrive as a crisis. Sometimes they show up as tension, disrupted sleep, irritability, or a feeling of being...

What happens when success no longer feels quite right?

In this episode of People Soup, Ross speaks with organisational psychologist, consultant and author Dr Joanne Gray.

Joe shares the story of a major career transition that took her from a senior corporate leadership role into the world of business psychology and consulting. Along the way, she reflects on the warning signs she experienced, the role of values in shaping career decisions, and the moment she realised something had to change.

The conversation then explores Joe's work on workplace proactivity – what it really means, wh...

Pressure has a way of revealing patterns we'd rather not see.

But these experiences aren't signs that we've failed.

They're opportunities to notice what's driving our behaviour.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores one of the central ideas behind psychological flexibility: once we notice what's running us, we create the possibility of choosing differently.

And that's where leadership begins.

Key Quote

Reflection Questions

The next time you feel pressure...

Starting a new role, joining a new team or entering a different culture can be unsettling.

The expectations feel different.

The responses you receive aren't what you expected.

And sometimes, without realising it, you start holding back.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores a common misunderstanding about adaptability. It's not about becoming smaller or suppressing what matters to you. It's about finding a way to express what matters in a way that fits the context.

Reflection Questions

Where are you currently holding back more than you'd like?<...

Avoidance Rarely Feels Like Avoidance

Most workplace avoidance isn't dramatic.

It's the difficult conversation that gets pushed into next week.

And then the week after.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores one of the most common patterns he sees in leadership and the workplace: avoiding discomfort while convincing ourselves we're waiting for the right moment, more information or greater certainty.

The challenge?

Discomfort often grows when left unattended.

Reflection Question

What's one conversation you've been postponing?

And what's the smallest possible...

Success doesn't always feel like success.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a coaching conversation with someone who appeared to have everything going for them: successful, respected and on track for a remarkable career.

Yet something wasn't right.

As they explored what mattered most, a powerful pattern emerged. Many of their decisions weren't moving them towards what they valued. Instead, they were helping them avoid disappointing other people.

It's a trap that many of us fall into, especially when we're caring, conscientious and ambitious.

Reflection Question

...

You can't lead beyond what you notice and awareness often begins with a metaphorical itch.

A feeling that something isn't quite right. Something isn't fitting. Something needs attention.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a question that changed what he started paying attention to and explores why awareness can be uncomfortable, but essential for growth and leadership.

Reflection Question - What have you been noticing recently that you've been tempted to brush aside?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas yo...

We're encouraged to be quick, responsive and always on.

But what happens when urgency becomes identity, reaction becomes leadership and speed becomes a virtue?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on why he believes the pause is becoming an unfashionable leadership skill—and why that might be a problem.

Discover why the pause sits at the heart of Ross's leadership framework and a simple practice to help create more choice in moments that matter.

Reflection Question

Pause for 5 seconds and as yourself - what's needed here?

Pe...

Why do good people do things they later regret?

It's a question that's fascinated me for years.

Before I became a coach, studied organisational psychology, or discovered Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I spent years in HR leadership. One of my roles was leading the Conduct and Discipline Team in a large government department in the UK Civil Service. In that job I became increasingly curious about what really drives human behaviour.

In this special solo episode, I share my working hypothesis about leadership:

Under pressure, leaders often default to behaviours...

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the fourth skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Adaptability.

Inspired by a candid reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode explores what happens when leadership becomes uncertain, messy, political, and deeply human.

So many leadership books promise certainty, control, and easy answers.

But real leadership often starts feeling difficult at exactly the moment complexity arrives.

Ross reflects on what leaders can do when pressure rises, certainty disappears, and their usual ways of coping stop working.

And he shares one practical question that can help...

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the third skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Authentic Action.

Inspired by a powerful insight from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at the tension leaders face between acting from fear… or acting from what matters most.

Gabriella describes how every workplace contains both constructive and destructive forces — and how leadership often involves helping people move towards the constructive side.

Ross reflects on what this can mean in practice during difficult conversations, moments of tension, and everyday leadership decisions.

Because authentic leadership isn’t about avoiding discom...

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the second skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Awareness.

Inspired by a reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at the leadership power of noticing what’s happening beneath the surface — in ourselves, in teams, and in the wider system around us.

So often, leaders feel pressure to speak quickly, solve problems, and drive action.

But what if better leadership sometimes starts with noticing more… and saying less?

Ross shares a practical experiment to help leaders develop awareness in meetings, conversations, and everyday workplace dynamics.

I...

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the first skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Pause.

Inspired by a powerful reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at those moments when our reactions feel immediate, emotional, and difficult to control.

Why does one comment roll off our backs… while another lingers all day?

And what might change if, instead of reacting automatically, we paused long enough to notice what’s happening inside us?

Ross shares a simple practical experiment to help leaders interrupt autopilot, create choice, and respond with greater awareness and inte...

Every workplace seems to have one.

The difficult colleague.

The challenging client.

The person who pushes your buttons before they’ve even opened their mouth.

In this Quick Spoon from my conversation with Dr Eric Goodman, we explore a different way of responding to difficult people at work.

Not by excusing behaviour.

Not by pretending it’s easy.

But by asking a different question:

What if compassion reduced your suffering… not just theirs?

A practical reflection on threat responses, workplace relationships, and ho...

In this episode of People Soup, Ross is joined by consultant, psychoanalytic thinker, and author Gabriella Braun for a deeply human conversation about why work can feel so personal.

Drawing on her remarkable book All That We Are, Gabriella explores what really happens beneath the surface in teams, organisations, and leadership.

Together, Ross and Gabriella explore:

What do you do when anxiety shows up… right when something matters?

A networking event.

A room full of strangers.

A voice in your head saying:

“Your Spanish isn’t good enough.”

In this Quick Spoon, I share a very real moment from a networking event for psychologists in Seville—where social anxiety showed up… and so did the urge to run.

But instead of waiting to feel confident…

I tried something smaller.

Something more workable.

Speak to three people.

That was the...

What do you do in those moments when emotions are running high?

An awkward conversation.

A difficult email.

A family disagreement.

A colleague who’s pushing your buttons.

In this Quick Spoon from my conversation with Dr Eric Goodman, we explore one simple question that can create a little more space… and a little more choice:

“If I was at my absolute best right now… what would I want to do?”

Not…

What do I feel like doing?

Not…

What would be...

What if the goal was never to become stress-free?

Or anxiety-free.

Or grief-free.

In this Quick Spoon from my conversation with Dr Eric Goodman, we challenge a myth that many of us still buy into:

That difficult emotions are somehow a sign that something’s gone wrong.

Eric offers a different perspective:

Painful emotions aren’t a design flaw.

They’re part of being human.

And the real skill may not be fighting what we feel…but learning how to notice it with a little...