LuAnna: The Podcast
Welcome to LuAnna: The Podcast. Hosted by pals Luisa Zissman & Anna Williamson, join the girls for their no holes barred rants, chats & bants on the topical stories of the week. Laugh along with their latest antics and join in with sharing your stories and opinions - there is no such thing as TMI on this podcast! Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For advertising opportunities on this podcast, email: [email protected]
The grimmest cleaning job we've ever had sent in. All hail the Marigolds.
On this week's Totally Extra: dumped on the spot and nicknamed forever over a bad back, Bio-Oil and a roast dinner in a muggy house, and a wife who locked the door knowing her husband was desperate for a sh*te.
Plus: a cleaners dilemma involving a 15 year old's bathroom and some marigolds, the airport expert rant you'll relate to, a three-year-old's devastating one liner, a wiping technique question for men, and the woman who booked a charity skydive purely to miss a party — and raised nearly £2,000 doing it.
LuAnnaLand tickets: Manchester, Birmingham and the Lon...
'I will always defend your right to have an opinion' | LuAnna on Podcaster Backlash & Being Cancelled
On this week's LuAnna: Should Podcasters be bold and stand behind what they say? Or is deleting content once you’re called out, ok? Do apology posts ever go down well? We share our opinions on other people’s opinions.
Plus: The woman who lost her bikini bottoms to a lazy river, the impact the pod can have on a small business, two serious listener messages handled with real care, counting thrusts and things that shouldn’t be embarrassing, but just ARE.
LuAnna Land tickets are on sale NOW! Head to everythingluanna.com.
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She dropped by UNANNOUNCED and found Big Barry!
On this episode: Lu wants a nose job and nobody's having it, Audrey's five months postpartum and wondering if hating your husband a bit is normal (it is), a petrol station rant you’ll be nodding at and WHY don’t men ask the important questions?!
Plus: dumped over eczema cream, a boat debate that cannot be settled, a woman who wet herself in a Magaluf water slide queue out of pure spite, a bellend at birth who needs a swift slap, Spanx too tight to remove at a wedding leading to a damp undercarriage, and the frie...
'Do I tell my partner there's a chance he's not the Father?'
On this week's LuAnna: Luisa stayed up till 3am laughing at TikTok and nearly got her phone confiscated, Anna's 11 years married and would redo the whole wedding, and a listener has a 30 year old secret she's wondering whether to tell.
Plus: the 50p game injury you'll wince at, Dave's farewell scrapbook with a memento from a first date taped in, a change to bereavement leave covering early pregnancy loss, a Miami woman with a poo bucket and an idea, and Lu's ranting at waiters who don't write anything down.
LuAnna Land tickets are on sale...
He paid £3 a minute to talk about gunge!!
On this ep: pre-Only Fans cam girl tales, the ex who got a £20 voucher in a £50 box, the £30 gift card Anna accidentally paid £2 for, and the Tesco lorry puns you'll now spot on every motorway.
Plus: A husband who wraps his towel round his chest, the snack drawer trick for mums, a woman mistaken for blind at Centre Parcs, a voice note apology to whoever was rummaging through those stones on the beach, and an embarrassing posh wank.
LuAnnaLand tickets are on sale NOW! Head to everythingluanna.com.
It’s time to get TOTALL...
'Why would anyone be that stupid to say they're a Traitor?'
On this week's LuAnna: the hangover episode. Two shows, 48 hours ago, one near-riot of a scavenger hunt, and the listener from California who used LuAnna to get out of court…and ended up on stage by complete coincidence.
After teasing you for a while… LuAnnaLand is officially announced! We’re off on tour in 2027, Manchester, Birmingham and the London Palladium, we’re coming for you. Subscribers have access now, general sale Wednesday!
Plus: Full Celebrity Traitors spoiler chat, a message from a 25-year-old whose boyfriend has made some choice words about her body, a serious conversa...
We can't BELIEVE she said that on a work call!
On this week's Totally Extra: It’s two days til Troxy and we’re buzzing! Listener Tanya got called both “fit” and "a granny" by two lads outside her flower shop, Nicole punishes her husband by switching off his three-grand aircon from her phone, and please stop posting happy birthday stories on Instagram, especially to the dead.
Plus, Ritz crackers, the LuAnna number infiltrating minds, cat biscuits in coffee, and two glorious confessions involving an unmuted Teams call, and a Dad caught in a lie after trying to look hard.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EX...
'It wouldn't have ended this way if you'd just washed your genitals'
On this week's LuAnna: Anna’s uncouth moment in a box at the Royal Albert Hall, Lu’s sent her pooch off to bootcamp and it’s Troxy week! We’re so excited to meet a tonne of you and look out… something big is coming very soon. Make sure you get yourselves on our subscriber list at everythingluanna.com if you want to be the first in the know.
Plus, pheromone maxing, a five day fart retreat, drinking milk in a bar, seasonal decorating, and a difficult one from a wife whose husband's severe anxiety means he can go...
She spent her Nan's Inheritance on WHAT?!
On this week's Totally Extra: a MASSIVE apology for the sweet eating. We're aware it's gross. Troxy shoutouts are open for a final week and we're getting excited and the english language takes a hit as Luisa takes on the word "slovenly".
Plus, being dumped on sight over a blue leather jacket, a husband who favoured a bath over tending to his wife in labour, a nan's inheritance lost in one night, and five years of quietly cheating at mum's Christmas quiz.
OH, and we're talking to Jake Haendel from Blink next week! Send in...
'Just put Pony on my funeral playlist'
On this week’s LuAnna: It’s just Lu and Anna as Imo’s off living her best life in Grecoland, Lu’s got the shits, and we’re asking the important questions… when you’re on holiday in a family suite, are you shagging?! Plus, the Celine Dion Paris trip of dreams, conquering the Eurostar tunnel, a very French comeback queen and the one thing that absolutely killed our vibe at the concert.
We’re talking the latest twist in the Affair podcast saga, why funeral stories are officially our new favourite genre, and one auntie’s unfortunate fina...
'I would do a**l for a saddle!' Plus cheesy foot nachos & the vagina wall
On this week's Totally Extra: A doctor stopped mid-shag to consult a medical encyclopaedia, a woman's housemate ate her peeled foot cheese, and Doris did something she’s never ever done before for a horse saddle (she wins the gifts-for-sex challenge outright).
Plus, comfort shows, Challenge Luanna, a tight sphincter, a closed door debate, disposable camera confessions and an important message from a woman who tried to cut her labia off at 13 and now wants everyone to know that their flaps are NORMAL.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bant...
'We love the rise, but we thrive on the fall' Our take on the Isobel Lorna Controversy
On this week's LuAnna: Our take on the Isobel Lorna ‘Agende’ debate online - is it alright to charge £300 for a Filofax? AND parents left fuming after their kids were turned away from the KATSEYE’s tour. We turn 8, can’t wait to hear all about the girls’ Paris trip i.e Saggy Sex and the City and Imo reveals her sexual awakening was Joan Collins in Joseph and his technicolour dreamboat.
Plus, Anna's golf ball-sized Bartholin cyst is being removed under general (check your lumps and bumps), a pregnant woman detained by police on her son's 6th birthday...
'I've Never Been Drier' - Pettiest reasons YOU dumped someone!
On this week's Totally Extra: Celine Dion admin before Paris, an anxiety about not being able to look at the sun, and Imo gets everyone drunk on 20.5% cocktails at 2:30pm.
Plus, a Dubai cleaner dealing with a dead hamster takes some shocking initiative, a bridesmaid dress listed on Vinted for £40, an aggressive godparent campaign that ends in a night nanny promise, the pettiest dumping reasons ever, Charlie Bigham's lasagne, and a woman who passed out from a wedgie at a Cyprus water park.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra ban...
'I have been on the receiving end of a podcast scam!'
On this week's LuAnna: Ali G is back, the girls are prepping for Celine Dion, Lu impaled an Addison Lee taxi on her own security bollards after some overenthusiastic arm-waving (the CCTV is stunning), and you know how we warn about podcast scammers? Well, Anna's got a tale to tell.
Plus, Imo's tortoise-sitting, a woman ate pizza crusts covered in her boyfriend's foot parmesan, a reason to avoid Subway loos, a deep conversation about donor eggs and IVF, the Scouse bride who went viral for throwing her Tuscany wedding without the groom, and an 81-year-old gran with...
'How do you think I racked up the numbers?'- Pity Shagging, Dating Icks & A Lego House
On this week's Totally Extra: We're buzzing because it's one month til Troxy! Please get your shoutouts in for the big day, we can't wait to see you!
Plus, Evil Edna is born, Lu's inclination to pity shag, pickle flavour sparkling water, the most excellent noises, discovering Only Farmers, and an HR worker sent a disciplinary letter to the wrong person and said nothing.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Th...
"He's a bit too Boy Band to be Bond"
On this week's LuAnna: Our opinions on the top Bond picks (Anna’s obsessed with Paul Mescal, and Lu doesn’t know who any of them are), Meta has a big old pay out over child safety online, we’re fully on board and could a Luanna Daily Traitors podcast be on the way?!
Plus, Lu’s had to pay out over £2k as Dixie smashes her GCSEs, we’re loving the Chinese robot Olympics, we learn all about Parktown Prawns, give an aspiring counsellor a bit of a life plan and crown August’s weirdo of the month!
She swallowed her what?!
On this week's Totally Extra: A hellish first day for a student nurse, justice for the Walls Feast ice cream, and Tracy from Didcot has a spectacular Peri or Plain Stupid which ends in a 5 hour stint in A&E and monitoring of her bowels.
Plus, you'll never smell a bag of Skips again, we want videos of your Petty Polly's, local councils shutting down cake sheds, and a woman with a terrible shit gift and a home truth from her husband. Also: how to properly tackle the back catalogue, a 32-year-old who's fallen for her 22-year-old...
'The kids think they rule the roost, and they bloody don't!'
On this week's LuAnna: We’re obsesssssed with the Lindsay Clancey case and can’t wait to do a deep dive for you. We’re chatting parenting following the Canadian flight that got cancelled because a kid wouldn’t wear a seat belt and a listener at odds with her partner over how to bring up their child and to top that all off, a strong contender for weirdo of the year.
Plus, Anna's on day 3 of a hangover after passing out naked on her bathroom floor, and she's not drinking again until Celine Dion. Lu rates Jet2 an...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Floor Granola, Johnny Hats & A Lake Garda 69
On this week's Totally Extra: A 40-year-old exhibiting major ick behaviour, Lauren's embarrassing Find My iPhone reveal at the Apple Store, one of the worst names to call your kid, and the jokes just keep getting better.
Plus, Challenge Luanna, a woman feed her husband "floor granola", the girls' favourite/least favourite parts of having kids, a Lake Garda 69 and a book club confession.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Th...
"Holly Willoughby's YouTube Return: Brave Or Bland?"
On this week's LuAnna: Can you come back after a scandal? We’re chatting Holly Willoughby’s YouTube return, a chef facing jail over serving ants and disturbing story involving sepsis, a hamster and a colostomy bag.
Plus, ***admin on the poooood *** as Lu reveals her manic travel schedule (France, Portugal, Dubai, England, Paris, Belgium, Dubai again), a listener earns 30k from older men on dating apps, Anna has YET ANOTHER massage incident, this time all thanks to a Sicilian masseuse, Lu clarifies her tax situation and we’ve got even more controversial opinions involving Beyoncé, brunch, the lette...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Gym d*ck, Naked Ladders & A girl named Peekaboo?!
On this week's Totally Extra: A naked lady on a ladder, a live summery ick and we find out the huge life hack that will save you if you've got kids on holiday.
Plus, being nearly named "Peekaboo", the definitive answer to what "hot penis" smells like, a petition for bidets in the UK, a confession that will really rile up the Lufannians, oh and in case you were wondering, some of the names of men that Lu has done the do with.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra ba...
'The Female Equivalent Of The Andrew Tate Pipeline?' — Nara Smith, Tradwives & Financial Freedom
On this week's LuAnna: A tradwife chat as Nara Smith denounces the title on Call Her Daddy, Anna's Sicily Airbnb lasted just 1 night due to a heady concoction of no air-con, an incontinent dog and some meaty syrup and Lu's after her own PJ, or Boeing 747. Standard.
Plus, a wrecking bollock entrance for Lu's 40th, a huge shout out to peach iced tea, the most sensible 25-year-old mum we've ever heard from, a man cutting off his genitals to set fire to them in his mum's garage, warm toilet seats and kids who don't leave us the...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Disney Adults, Peri or Plain Stupid & a Surprise Funeral
On this week's Totally Extra: Crumble might be the Lu'd predicted fourth child, Tesla drivers are the new BMW drivers, and grown adults in Disney dress-up are fundamentally wrong.
Plus, we're crowdfunding to stuff David Attenborough, "Peri or Plain Stupid?" launches with a woman who forgot her car, the winner of Challenge Luanna's best fart, a surprising reason for rebooking a holiday resort, and a funeral mishap.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available ev...
'Now That's What I Call Luisa!'
On this week's LuAnna: Summer holidays, sun-induced horniness, Lu's 40th theme is revealed (it's a belter) and we're booking acts LIVE — John from S Club has replied within minutes, Duncan from Blue has been contacted, and Andrew once babysat B*witched so that's basically confirmed.
Elsewhere, Lu got sloshed at a vineyard, Imo's been clocked in a pub near Peter Andre's Co-op, and Anna reccos the serum that makes you look like a lightbulb. It's essentially botox in a bottle (not an ad not a spon.)
PLUS: A fuchsia Sharpie surprise we did NOT expect, a...
TOTALLY EXTRA: "We Are Sitting On A Potential Gold Mine" - Penis Reviews, "Holibobs" & Stealth Pad Changes
On this week's Totally Extra: We're banning "hollibobs" and a man paid £14 for two bags of crisps and a water at Stansted - daylight robbery!
Plus, a woman is paying her mortgage writing paragraph-length penis reviews, there's a limescale kettle Petty Polly for the office prick, a woman tried a sexy surprise and her boyfriend has been left literally scarred, the summer sex tally update (Anna traded a quickie for a massage), a genius 'get out of sex' hack from a woman with back problems, and a man simply can't tell his wife her rosemary and orange b...
'He went in as a Powder Puff and came out as a skinned Greyhound'
On this week's LuAnna: Bonnes vacances! We're in our holiday era, Lu's in Saint-Tropez with Crumble, Anna’s heading to Sicily imminently and both are shite at French. (I know Sicily is in Italy tyvm). Anna’s finally moved into the renovated granny pad, Crumble’s had a nightmare at the dog groomers and the girls are producer-less as wine tasting > recording at sociable hours.
Plus, the extra seat plane hack didn't work for a listener on EasyJet (sorrysorry), another listener promises a week of sex in return for a garden chair, Jesy Nelson's SMA campaign gets a prop...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Frozen Mango Wine, Greta Thunberg & How much would you charge for a**l?
On this week's Totally Extra: Happy birthday Anna! Tesco Susan's been there since '87, Lu's not Greta Thunberg's biggest fan, Imo sets a fart challenge, and we're introduced to Gary the brown dog.
Plus, the brand new-ish try something fun time takes the pod a bit sideways, misheard Cher lyrics, we find out if lesbians do anal, Jamie gets lovely dad reassurance about bathing with his daughter, and we've got weeing in public hacks.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: Th...
'Would you not just go and steal a baby?'
On this week's LuAnna: We do a proper deep dive on Sweet Bobby and Maternal Instinct! It's Anna's 45th birthday week, she's off to Sicily, and Lu immediately hijacks the chat to crowdsource a theme for her 40th next June (let us know if you can beat Rivals). Imo delivers the most satisfyingly perfect travel story ever told and Lu's still ranting about Ryanair.
Plus, ranked showers, a sentimental Hairy Bikers moment, a swimming pool curtain exposing a "doughy ginger zebra", global warming doesn't exist and green energy is a farce??? Pineapple is meant for pizza and...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Baguette vs Naan, A Sugar Daddy Dilemma & Lee Andrews' Cameo
On this week's Totally Extra: The great baguette vs naan throwing debate kicks off, "We're Gagging For It" returns with the most chaotic things you've done trying to be sexy, and we've tried and failed to get a Lee Andrews Cameo because it seems he's at max capass.
Plus, partner wind-ups, a proper sugar daddy dilemma from a primary school teacher, a petty Polly for a wine snob uncle, two belting jokes, and locking eyes with a neighbour whilst having a nakey swim.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra ba...
"Nearly arrested at Marrakech Airport over a Ryanair suitcase"
On this week's LuAnna: The Mexican Batman duct taping bike thieves to lampposts and giving Lu vigilante ideation, the Take That live show that Anna loved, Lu nearly gets arrested at Marrakech airport after refusing to move from the Ryanair desk over a 2-kilo empty suitcase and Celebs Go Dating wins an award.
Plus, Did Lu ever smuggled smoke cannons out the country? A touching podcast recco featuring Emilie Kiser; a foster carer sparks an impassioned conversation about parental accountability for kids in care; sucking Pepperami condoms, and a Cotswold cottage plastered in Châteauneuf-du-Pape sick at a...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Backdoor Poetry, PlayStation Icks & A Midwife's Worst Words
On this week's Totally Extra: Our Feeld agent returns with an ode to her backside read at a wedding, we’re whispering things into our partners’ phones for some targeted ad revenge, we’ve got the PlayStation ick, a bellend midwife at birth, a call for sugar free antibiotics to be outlawed for kids and the toilet brush vs poo stick debate.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Thursday on Global Player, YouTube...
'I hate Oat Milk and I don't get why everyone loves it'
On this week's LuAnna: Anna befriended an 84-year-old Nobel-adjacent professor on Ryanair, Lu's refusing to go to her daughter's school performance because she's got other shit to do, and we launch "I Said What I Said" where Anna hates oat milk, Imo hates the film Elf and we're saying it with our chests.
Plus, booking ghost plane seats, Aldi's £6.99 knockoff Aperol, a turd that grounded a 737, Anna's wetsuit diarrhoea confession, co-parenting advice for a gay listener, the "kids in which bathroom" debate after a dad got the police called on him, a man injecting semen into his a...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Pencil D*ck vs Projectile Vomit, Mini Cheddar Ice Cream & a Cruising Confession
On this week's Totally Extra: Anna fed Alex fly eggs in a salad and said nothing, Imo debuts Try Something Fun Time with a blind ice cream tasting (sorry about the ASMR), someone sh*t in a kettle AND a toaster on a building site, a witch curse hypothetical, a man who met someone unexpected in a cruising forest at midnight, and Eileen from NYC has a beautiful yet raunchy tribute for her late sister.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Po...
'She's been eating raw chicken since childhood!'
On this week's LuAnna: It's boiling, Lu threw Dixchella for Dixie's 16th with 110 teens and a rodeo bull and is planning to smuggle smoke cannons to Morocco for a horseback photoshoot, and Anna's finally moving into her finished reno within days! After YEARS of hearing about it, we all can't wait.
Plus, a pegging confession, we get a bit hot under the collar listening to a Feeld story, a marriage torn apart over LGBTQ+ values, Brooklyn Beckham's hypocritical DoorDash ad, Argentina banning deadbeat dads from the World Cup, Keir Starmer resigning without Lu noticing, a train rant...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Toothpaste wars, Lu's 3-Hour Fart Session & the Cucumber that went back in the Fridge
On this week's Totally Extra: Anna's '96 girl band photo gets compared to The Grinch (they’re not wrong), a listener stole foxglove seeds from Buck Pal, listener Sophie's podcast played the vibrator sharing episode to the car wash men, a smear test pube-pulling PSA, 13 women crop-dusting a Ryanair flight, a 19-year-old fart fetishist, and Lu plays the audio of Andrew begging her to stop farting and see a doctor. Pray for Andrew.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Gl...
'She's the prostitute, but she's the wife. It's genius.'
On this week's LuAnna: we're back to business with a late night record for Anna and Lu, Lu fresh off a plane from Spain, and Anna fresh from being exposed on the loo in from of 12 self checkouts in the supermarket (thanks Elle). Dixie's about to turn 16 and we're reminiscing the good old days of smokes behind school and Anna's memorable first day at senior school.
Plus, the UK social media ban for under 16s and what it that means for parents, a BDSM wishlist becomes public knowledge, a genius LuFannian who became her husband's paid Dominatrix...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Merging Lane Fury, Voice Note Of The Year & Words You've Been Saying Wrong
On this week's Totally Extra: We're giving Zissbags a little bit more time to recover from the ailment of the yeaaaaaar, but never fear, we'd never leave our Lufannians high and dry. Here's some more of our favourite totally extra, totally and completely Luanna moments. And we will be back with you on Monday!
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Thursday on Global Player, YouTube or wherever you get your shows. Make su...
'It's the ailment of the year'
On this week's Luanna: It's finally happened. After 8 years of Luanna (including two of the podcast that shall not be named), the tramadol era, the broken back and more, Luanna is off sick. But don't fear, Anna has hand selected some of the best, most outrageous and laugh out loud moments to keep the rants, bants and explicit content at your door! We'll see you next week xx
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Thursday on Global Player, YouTube or wherever you get your shows. Make sure you subscribe so you never...
TOTALLY EXTRA: Nippy Nippy, Password Hacking & One And Done
On this week's Totally Extra: Anna's full taken up the hunting Tesco name badges for long-service staff hobby, Lu's confessing to some poetry theft, whatever 'Nippy Nippy' is, a misheard lyric that's basically incest, the teacher gift debate, and confessions involving hacking a classmate's computer and a 43-year-old bogey eater. Enjoy your lunch.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Thursday on Global Player, YouTube or wherever you get your shows. Make sure yo...
'I even thought about getting pregnant again!'
On this week's LuAnna: Lu nearly got her head microwaved in an MRI thanks to her hair extensions, Anna's fawning over Joe Wilkinson and reminisces about the doctor that almost made her want to get pregnant again and reno updates: Lu's gone coloured toilet in Dubai, and Anna's finally chipping in with a hoover.
Plus, we finally get round to giving the full Celebrity Traitors cast rundown and pitch ourselves for next series (obv). There's a stolen bin mystery in Birmingham, a woman who can't stop thinking about Bertha after opening up her marriage, a fish hook...
