40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Most gay men were never shown what lasting love actually looks like. Steven C. Law lived it for 45 years and then wrote a book to make sure nobody forgets what it cost to love freely before the world made room for it. "The Story of Bob" traces the life of gay rights activist Reverend Bob Wood, a man who spent decades hiding his relationship out of fear, denying himself the simplest moments of connection. Steven and Rick get honest about what it means to be celebrated rather than tolerated, why gay men over 40 carry grief they have never named, and...

Gay men know what it cost to come out. Bisexual people paid that same price and then got rejected by the community that was supposed to finally understand. Katherine Wela Bogen is a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, scholar-activist with 600K followers, and author of the debut novel Queering Him. She and Rick get into the real conversation gay and bisexual men keep not having: where the experiences genuinely overlap, where they do not, and why assuming you already understand bisexuality because you know gay identity causes real damage. This one asks gay men over 40 to look at a blind...

On September 11, 2001, a gay man living with HIV made a decision that had nothing to do with self-preservation. He ran toward the World Trade Center and spent 24 hours in the pile. Neil Adams met Michael Dorian in New York in the early 1990s and their friendship lasted nearly 30 years. Now he has written the book Michael asked him to write. From the Pile is a debut biography that covers Michael's childhood in poverty, his HIV diagnosis at 16, his life built on compassion, and the choice he made on the worst day in modern American history. This episode is about what...

You lived through it. You lost people. And somewhere along the way you decided HIV was somebody else's problem now. It is not. Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner from MPact Global Action join Rick for a conversation that does not let the queer community off the hook. MPact works across 60 countries supporting LGBTQ-led organizations fighting HIV stigma, funding cuts, and the political forces making all of it worse. This episode covers where the stigma still lives, why gay men over 50 are among the fastest growing groups of new diagnoses, and why staying sexual, visible, and engaged is still an act...

Most men were handed a version of masculinity that had no room for grief, sensitivity, or showing up as anything other than hard. Gay men got that version and then got told their masculinity did not count anyway. Morgan Rich, coach, author, and creator of Threshold Coaching, spent decades learning the hard way that the world rewarding toughness was never actually rewarding strength. He and Rick get into what it means to reclaim healthy masculinity when you are a gay man over 40 who has been navigating threshold moments your entire life, why little deaths are not the enemy but the...

Thirty years with the same man. Kids. A suburban life. A career built on celebrating the best in people. And a question that never fully goes away: am I gay enough? Randy Jones, speaker, author, podcaster, and self-described professional storyteller, has spent decades navigating the space between gay communities that questioned his credentials and straight communities that accepted him without conditions. He and Rick get honest about what it costs to feel like you never fully belong anywhere, why gay culture built its own velvet rope, and what it actually means to own your gay identity when it does not...

Nobody hands you a roadmap when your husband dies. Jeff Nally knows that firsthand. Sixteen months after losing Bob unexpectedly to a brain hemorrhage, the executive coach, professional speaker, and former president of the International Gay Coaches Alliance is still navigating what it means to be a gay widower in a community that does not talk about this nearly enough. He and Rick get brutally honest about the difference between being alone and being on your own, why grief has no engineering, how friendships fracture after loss, and what it actually takes to rebuild an identity when the man you...

Most gay men know they are meant for something more than the corporate box they squeezed themselves into. Getting out is another story entirely. Joseph Federico, The Marketing Maven and founder of JFederico Marketing, walked away from a high-paying corporate career two years ago to build a business on his own terms and his own voice. In this episode, he and Rick get brutally honest about why gay men stall, self-sabotage, and underinvest in themselves when it matters most, what it actually costs to ignore the internal voice telling you to go, and why the queer business community is both...

Gay men are burning out in silence and calling it fine. Shaun Williams, therapist, late bloomer, and co-founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide, has spent years inside that silence and knows exactly what it is costing us. After coming out in 2019 following decades of living someone else's story, Shaun built Bent Couch Counselling and a global community of over 1,300 gay fathers because the existing resources were not built for men like him. He and Rick get brutally honest about the mental load of coming out later in life, why gay men perform connection instead of feeling it, and what it actually...

Better looking gay men have it easier. More matches, more attention, more forgiveness in every room they walk into. Gay culture did not invent pretty privilege but it turned it into a full contact sport, and gay men over 40 have been taking the hits for decades.

Today I go solo and deep on why gay culture amplifies appearance-based hierarchies beyond anything straight culture produces, what the better looking guy is actually carrying that nobody talks about, and why the real damage is not the privilege itself but the moment you handed your self-worth to a community that...

Aging hits different when you’re a gay man over 40. The body shifts. Friends disappear. Mortality stops being abstract. In this raw conversation, Ken Breniman, author, therapist, and leader of naked yoga for LGBTQ+ men, dives into death awareness, grief, body shame, loneliness, and why avoiding mortality keeps you negotiating your life. We talk orangutans in Borneo, naked yoga as radical body acceptance, and the courage it takes to face the truth about aging. If you’re over 40 and still pretending you have unlimited time, this episode will wake you up, to stop negotiating your gay life. Live like you mean...

Most men spend years trying to fix their relationships by fixing the other person. Mike Elliott, LGBTQ+ ally, tried that too. It cost him his marriage. The Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide rebuilt his entire life after divorce by doing the one thing men are trained to avoid: looking directly at themselves. Through a three-part framework of initiation, integration, and inspiration, Mike now guides men who are done sleepwalking through their relationships and ready to lead from something real. Mike and Rick get raw about what it actually takes to stop being reactive, take radical self-responsibility, and build...

Gay men over 40 have been watching themselves disappear from screens, from conversations, and from their own community's narrative for decades. Rich Burns got fed up and built the antidote. The Humanitas Prize-winning creator and star of "The Disappointments" turned personal professional failure, romantic wreckage, and the specific ache of gay male invisibility into a series with over 4 million views and a global audience that stretches far beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Rich and Rick go deep on why older gay men are still being erased, what it actually costs to tell the truth on screen, and why humor is not a...

Many gay men over 40 are reinventing themselves after layoffs, burnout, or careers that no longer fit. Creativity becomes survival, not a hobby. In this candid conversation, Kit Roughhouse shares how a job loss, a Los Angeles gay bar, and a long-suppressed creative voice gave rise to his alter ego and career as a gay erotica writer. his episode explores why erotic storytelling matters, how gay men use fantasy to explore identity and confidence, and what it means to create meaningful work later in life. It strips away shame around desire and reframes erotica as honest storytelling rooted in lived experience. <...

Why do so many gay men spend their lives trying to belong, and still feel unsafe being themselves? This episode explores the deeper layers of belonging, authenticity, and self-trust through the lens of body-based wisdom. Devin Scott, a licensed social worker and body wisdom coach, shares his journey beyond traditional therapy into somatic practices, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy. The conversation unpacks how high-performing gay men often learn to abandon themselves in order to fit in, and how true belonging begins with feeling safe inside one’s own body. With honesty and vulnerability, Devin also reflects on a recent breakup and wh...

What happens when your body is permanently changed—and you still choose to show up fully alive? This episode features Dallas Oliver, a gay man and esophageal cancer survivor diagnosed at just 39. Dallas shares his journey through chemotherapy, radiation, major surgery, and life without an esophagus, along with the realities most people never talk about: intimacy, identity, food, energy, and grief. Out of that experience, he created a weekly LGBTQ cancer support group to offer the kind of space he couldn’t find when he needed it most. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply human-centered on survival, chos...

Prostate cancer rarely announces itself. For many men, especially gay men over 40, the first sign comes too late. PSA testing can catch prostate cancer early, yet most men avoid the conversation or assume no symptoms means no problem. World renowned urologist Dr. Arthur L. Burnett II breaks down what every man needs to know about prostate and urological health, PSA testing, and why waiting for symptoms is a dangerous mistake. The conversation tackles cultural shame, medical avoidance, and how masculinity myths keep men from advocating for their health. This episode is a wake up call for gay men who want...

Many gay men over 40 struggle with eating disorders, addiction, and shame while appearing successful and in control. Bulimia, compulsive behaviors, and secrecy often go unnoticed until a breaking point like divorce forces the truth into the open.

In this unfiltered conversation, Kyle shares his personal experience with bulimia, recovery, and rebuilding identity after divorce as a gay man over 40. This episode confronts body image, food control, sex addiction, and emotional isolation in the gay male community. It exposes why secrecy keeps men stuck and how recovery begins with honesty, support, and connection later in life.

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Negotiating love feels responsible until you realize it is costing you your self-respect. For many gay men over 40, relationships quietly turn into endurance tests disguised as commitment. You tolerate distance. You excuse confusion. You call chemistry connection and safety love. In this eve before Valnetines Day episode, Rick Clemons exposes the heated rivalry (with cheeky, but wise observations from the HBO Max series by the same name) playing out beneath your dating patterns. The fight between choosing comfort or choosing truth. This conversation cuts through avoidance, people-pleasing, and half-choices that keep men stuck repeating the same emotional loop. You will...

Many gay men over 40 quietly panic when sex stops working the way it used to. Erections feel unpredictable. Anxiety creeps in. Porn, media, and aging myths make it worse. Men’s coach Shay Doran brings a grounded, no nonsense perspective to performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, stress, medication side effects, and the emotional pressure gay men carry into the bedroom. This conversation reframes sexual performance as a whole life issue, not a broken body problem. When stress, self worth, and identity are addressed, desire and connection often follow. The episode challenges shame based thinking and replaces it with curiosity, honesty, and a...

In this powerful midlife conversation, Ralph Brewer, author of Rebuild: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man,  unpacks the universal relationship challenges men face, gay or straight. From anxious attachment and dead bedrooms to boundaries, neurodivergence, and long-term monogamy, this episode reveals how male relationship patterns cross orientation lines. Ralph shares his journey from heterosexual marriage and divorce to becoming a leading voice in men’s relationship coaching, while Rick connects these insights directly to gay men navigating midlife transitions. This episode is a must-listen for men ready to rebuild relationships with clarity, self-awareness, and...

In this bold and eye-opening episode, I sit down with male boudoir photographer Trey Fox to explore how intimate portraiture helps men reclaim confidence, reconnect with their bodies, and see themselves through a more empowered lens. Trey shares the artistry and psychology behind photographing men—from building trust and consent to creating a safe, shame-free environment for vulnerability and expression. During this episode we explore the misconceptions surrounding erotic photography, the emotional transformations clients experience, and the challenges of navigating this profession while in a relationship. Whether you’re curious about male boudoir, body positivity, or redefining masculinity, this episode offe...

In this episode, author Peter Leahy shares his powerful late-life coming out story towards true authenticity. In this episode we explore what it means to shed old personas, embrace your identity at any age, and rewrite the stories you once hid behind. From navigating professional masks to discovering emotional freedom through writing, Peter’s memoir Glowing Up Gay has resonated with thousands for its raw honesty and relatable truth. Whether you’re coming out later in life or reclaiming parts of yourself you’ve long avoided, this episode is a bold reminder that it’s never too late to become who you...

In this powerful episode, David Osterman shares his journey from late-life self-discovery to addiction recovery that is nothing short of extraordinary. David opens up about coming out in his 40s, surviving meth addiction, rebuilding after a life-threatening fall, and finding purpose as a coach for gay men seeking confidence, clarity, and truth. Together, we dive into identity, resilience, executive-level marketing strategies, and the courage required to rebuild your life from the inside out. If you’re navigating reinvention, queer identity, or recovery, this episode hits deep. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: Why your truth always wins, even when it is pa...

Loneliness is one of the most unspoken struggles among gay men, especially as we age, get sober, or outgrow old social circles. In this powerful conversation, licensed therapist Chris Tompkins unpacks why so many gay men feel disconnected even when surrounded by people, apps, and nightlife. This episode explores how sobriety, shame, dating apps, and societal expectations quietly fuel isolation, and what it actually takes to build authentic connection. From the “wounded healer” journey to embracing singleness, self-acceptance, and values-based living, this episode invites gay men to stop chasing validation and start creating lives rooted in truth, alignment, and meaningful conn...

In this intriguing episode, Dr. Mark Broomfield, author of Black Queer Dance, Gay Men and the Politics of Passing for Almost Straight,  explores the complex intersections of race, queerness, masculinity, and identity. It's a deep dive into the realities queer men of color face in dance, performance spaces, academia, and everyday life, including the pressure to “pass,” racial surveillance, and the politics of being “almost straight.” Mark and Rick share deeply personal stories that reveal how culture shapes expression, safety, and authenticity. This conversation shines a critical light on representation, lived experience, and what it truly means to embody queer identity...

In this powerful episode, LGBTQ+ historian and collector Adrian Cardwell shares how his project, Badge of Pride, is preserving 30 years of queer history to ensure our stories are never forgotten. From the AIDS crisis to modern-day equality movements, Adrian’s journey reminds us that visibility, unity, and storytelling are the backbone of our community’s strength. We explore what it means to protect queer archives, how personal stories shape collective progress, and why showing up—especially in politically divisive times—matters more than ever. Our stories aren’t just history—they’re our legacy, our power, and our connection to each other. 3...

In this soulful and unfiltered conversation, singer-songwriter Mike Maimone—a former accountant turned queer creative force—shares how love, loss, and midlife reinvention shaped his music and life. From finding love across an age gap with late partner Howard Bragman, to channeling grief into his upcoming album and book, Guess What, I Love You (out February), Mike opens up about rediscovering purpose after heartbreak. Together, Rick and Mike dive into healing, queer resilience, and what it means to live unapologetically authentic—no fears, no excuses, no apologies. Three Key Takeaways Reinve...

What happens when fatherhood meets unapologetic pride? David Morgenstern, founder of GADDIES, is redefining what it means to be a gay dad through bold branding, community, and connection. From the evolution of GADDIES as a lifestyle brand for gay fathers to navigating visibility, partnerships, and authenticity, this episode explores how storytelling and representation can reshape culture. Discover how GADDIES built an inclusive space for dads who started their families in different ways—and why visibility still matters for LGBTQ+ parents everywhere. 3 Takeaways: How GADDIES empowers gay dads to show up boldly in family and culture.The bu...

What does it take to come out, really come out, when you’ve spent a lifetime hiding behind shame, success, and survival? In this episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk, Rick Clemons sits down with author Dan Bolin, whose memoir The Courage to Be Courageous tells the story of coming out at 70, healing religious trauma, and learning to love himself as a beautiful gay man. It’s raw. It’s real. And it’s a reminder that no matter your age, it’s never too late to live free and authentic. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: It’s never too late to...

In this raw and heartfelt episode, New York designer, storyteller and former drag performer, John Patrick (JP) for a powerful conversation about growing older, wiser, and freer as gay men. Together, JP and Rick unpack decades of experience — from coming out in different eras to surviving the AIDS crisis, finding confidence through drag and other careers, to redefining what self-acceptance really looks like after 40. It’s not nostalgia. It’s truth-telling — about how far we’ve come, what still needs to change, and the beauty of learning to love yourself without apology.

3 Key Takeaways From This Episode:

In this powerful episode, Alabama native and political candidate Dakarai Larriett talks about what it really means to lead with authenticity in one of the toughest states to do it. From surviving a false arrest to running openly as a gay Black man, Dakarai’s story is a masterclass in courage, empathy, and conviction. In this episode we unpack the realities of running for office, reforming broken systems, and staying true to yourself when the odds are stacked high. What you will learn Authenticity wins hearts — how Dakarai’s story of resilience and faith helps voters connect beyond politics. Systemic change...

In this open and unapologetic conversation, Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, talks about sexual wellness, communication, and confidence at any age. From lube myths to aging libidos, solo masturbation to mutual pleasure, we explore how science, honesty, and a sense of humor can transform your sex life. It’s a conversation that every man (and his partner) should hear—because better sex starts with better communication. Here's what you'll... Discover How To Talk Before You Touch: How open, honest conversations build deeper intimacy. Learn How Science Meets Pleasure: Why sexual wellness is as much about...

In this Halloween episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk., host Rick Clemons sits down with UK-based author and creative professional Ricky Baxter to explore what it means to keep your creativity alive as a gay man over 40. They dive deep into the pressures LGBTQ+ men face to “fit in,” the fear of criticism that often silences creative expression, and why reclaiming your authentic voice is essential for aging with self-worth. From Ricky’s fantasy novel Blue Luna and the Apex Grail to lessons about relationships, rejection, and resilience, this conversation is a powerful reminder that creati...

In this powerful episode, Eric Swanson activist, performer, and drag entertainer - aka Miss Bouvier - joins me to talk about what it really means to keep Pride alive when the world feels divided. From Florida’s political battlegrounds to global stages in Amsterdam, Eric opens up about using performance as protest, the legacy of Stonewall, and why LGBTQ+ unity is more vital than ever. What you will get in this episode  is truth-telling, hard-won hope, and a reminder that visibility is resistance. We discuss how... Visibility is power and how drag performance keep help keep LGBTQ+ culture alive in pla...

In this episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk, Rick sits down with author Cas Holman - author, creative designer, and playful instigator, to explore the power of playfulness in adult life—and why it matters more than ever for gay men over 40. From family life to queerness to creativity, Cas shares insights from their new book and personal journey, reminding us that joy isn’t childish—it’s essential. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: Why playfulness boosts creativity, happiness, and adaptability in adulthood. How to reclaim your “play voice” and let go of judgment. Practical ways LGBTQ+ men can embrace poss...

In this powerful National Coming Out Day episode, Rick Clemons sits down with Brian Bond, CEO of PFLAG National, to talk about the organization’s 52-year mission of supporting LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. From the history of PFLAG to personal coming out stories and the creation of affirming spaces across America, Brian shares how the movement has grown and why community support still matters more than ever, and how you as gay men over 40 can support and benefit from PFLAG Listeners will walk away with inspiration, resources, and encouragement to live authentically and help others do the same.

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