Psychologists Off the Clock

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and could not say who was looking back at you?

Ceri Samvilian joins Michael for his final episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, recorded in the Vienna living room where the two of them met ten years ago. Ceri moved from Nairobi to Vienna at 27 and spent years playing what she calls the role of a good immigrant. Speak German properly, do not be too loud, stay in the box. She only saw the cost later, when she realized she had suppressed herself in order to be...

For her last episode without her co-hosts, Debbie wanted to choose a topic that matters to her personally: existentialism and the search for meaning. She invited her “dream team” panel of colleagues with an interest in existentialism from the ACT community: Robyn Walser, Jim Lucas, Jenna LeJeune, and Jennifer Gregg.

Existentialism invites us to enhance our lives through exploration of life’s truths: we will die, we are free to make choices, and we must all create our own sense of meaning and purpose. Through grappling with the big questions of life, we can become more engaged, intent...

Listen and Learn:

What does it really mean to speak up—and what happens when telling the truth comes at a cost?

In this special episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard and Yael introduce Jill’s powerful new podcast, We the Sunlight, a show about the brave act of speaking up in a culture that too often rewards silence. Then, listeners get an exclusive preview of the first episode, featuring Jules Bindi, one of the first women to publicly share that she was sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein before the #MeToo movement began.

Jules shares her story—...

What if the biggest threat to kids’ mental health isn’t smartphones or social media—but the loss of freedom, play, and independence in childhood?

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily welcomes researcher Peter Gray, author of Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety. Drawing on decades of research in developmental psychology, anthropology, education, and play, Peter challenges some of our most common assumptions about what children need to thrive.

Peter explains why play isn’t simply recreation—it’s how children naturally learn independence, problem-solving, negotiation, courage, and...

What if some of the things you believe most strongly aren’t actually facts—but tools you’re using to navigate a complicated world?

In this bittersweet final interview for Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard welcomes back Nir Eyal, author of Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results. Nir was Jill’s very first guest when she joined the podcast, making this conversation a fitting bookend to her time on POTC. Together, they explore how our beliefs shape motivation, perception, pain, relationships, and our ability to create lasting change.

Nir ex...

What makes an explanation feel satisfying, and does that feeling have anything to do with whether it's actually true?

Cognitive scientist Tania Lombrozo, author of Why We Ask Why: The Science of Explanation and the Human Drive to Understand, joins Michael to talk about the human drive to explain: where it comes from and what it buys us. She also makes the case that explanations aren't objects sitting out in the world waiting to be found, but mental acts we construct.

Tania walks through why philosophers and psychologists have circled the same phenomenon from different...

Navigating a loved one's mental health struggles can feel like walking a tightrope between wanting to save them and trying to keep your own head above water.

In this episode, Dr. David Dozois from the University of Western Ontario highlights his book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed, talking through the toll depression can take on relationships and why the supporting partner's experience so often goes unnoticed.

He shares with us why our instinct to "fix" a partner's pain can often backfire, and offers up actionable strategies for giving real support, encouraging treatment...

Parenting a kid with ADHD takes way more than standard advice; it requires understanding a complex brain difference that impacts focus, sleep, big emotions, and daily energy.

In this episode, child psychologist Dr. Emily King and TILT Parenting founder Debbie Reber join Emily to give their perspective on what neurodivergent parenting looks like by challenging the "disorder" label, unpacking why behaviors shift between home and school, and diving into hidden struggles like RSD, time blindness, and burnout.

From navigating evaluations to handling the gap between your child's age and their developmental stage, this conversation offers...

If you’re the kind of person who is pathologically nice, physically incapable of saying "no," and constantly burning out to keep everyone else happy, you might actually have a Type C personality. 

Debbie Sorensen chats with psychologist Kore Glied and former Wall Street exec Anna White to break down how this conflict-avoidant, super-pleaser trait differs from Types A and B and why hiding your true feelings takes such a heavy toll on your health, career, and relationships.

You'll hear Anna open up about her own experience grinding straight through maternity leave until chronic fatigue hit...

Every couple has to learn how to accept their differences. But when you’re in a neurodiverse relationship, those differences aren't just quirks; they’re completely different ways of experiencing the world. 

In this episode, we're getting real about love, autism, and how to actually understand each other in a conversation with psychologist and author Dr. Cindy Ariel, who drops by to chat about her book, Autism and the Two of Us. Cindy brings so many incredible insights to the table, including what autism actually is and why neurodiversity is just a normal variation of the human brain...

What do you do as a mental health provider when a client walks into your office and flat-out refuses to be there, is silent, or is disengaged?

In this episode, Michael chats with psychotherapist and Motivational Interviewing trainer Kristen Dempsey about her book, Advancing Motivational Interviewing, and how to actually navigate those cases.

They get into why Motivational Interviewing works so well when a client is stuck on the fence and how these skills end up being surprisingly useful outside the clinic, too. Kristen also breaks down how MI can help to build real connection...

Don't stress over parenting advice, as much of it is based on clickbait, panic, and outdated science.

In this episode, we hear from science journalists and experts Melinda Wenner Moyer, Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, Jacqueline Nesi in a conversation with Emily on how to spot actual, trustworthy parenting guidance amid all the online noise.

Dismantling the myth of the "one-size-fits-all" approach, they explain why classic research was always meant to be flexible and why anyone claiming there is only one right way is usually just selling something. 

You'll also learn about the deep flaws in h...

We spend an exhausting amount of energy trying to outrun our own difficult thoughts and feelings.

For this episode, Jill Stoddard brings back ACT therapist, trainer, and author of The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Skills Workbook, Matt Boone for a refreshingly grounded look at Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Matt shares how his own path through chronic pain led him to ACT, breaking down why trying to "fix" uncomfortable inner experiences usually backfires.

You'll hear about why we procrastinate, how to unhook from spiral-inducing thoughts, and how to get unstuck when uncertainty feels overwhelming. Plus, Matt...

Sometimes saving the planet can feel like a massive, exhausting guilt trip. 

In this episode, Debbie sits down with University of British Columbia professors Elizabeth Dunn and Jiaying Zhao to talk about their book, Leave the Lights On: How Joyful Decisions Can Save Our Species. 

Their main point is about the whole "you must be perfect" climate messaging is totally backfiring, and focusing on joyful, high-impact changes is actually what keeps people motivated. Jiaying breaks down a massive 63-country study showing how scare tactics just make people want to shut down, and the duo debunks so...

Are we being lied to about the science of attraction?

In this episode, UC Davis relationship scientist and author of Bonded by Love: The New Science of Human Attachment, Paul Eastwick, challenges the massive online narratives around "mate value," hardwired gender differences, and dating strategies. It turns out a lot of the viral relationship theories we see online are built on shaky evidence, relying on photos and surveys rather than real, live human interaction.

Paul explains why what we say we want on paper almost never predicts who we actually fall for in person. He...

For some people, stories are entertainment; for others, they can be a lifeline.

Janina Scarlet, licensed clinical psychologist, author, and founder of Divine Feminine Publishing, returns to discuss her work promoting books with strong female and gender-diverse representation. She shares how surviving illness after Chernobyl, along with physical and sexual abuse, led her to find comfort in stories and eventually become a writer. 

The conversation covers the challenges of writing about personal experiences, the importance of reading widely, separating drafting from editing, and protecting creativity. Janine also talks about researching and writing her Holocaust novel, T...

We’ve all been there: you’re scrolling through your feed, watching someone bake sourdough from scratch in a pristine linen dress, and suddenly your own life feels incredibly messy and chaotic. 

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Debbie and Emily are pulling back the curtain on the hyper-curated worlds of social media influencers, reality TV, and the massive "tradwife" trend.

Grab your headphones and get ready for a much-needed reality check on why we need to be way more skeptical of what we see on our screens.

Liste...

We’ve been told forever that women are the only natural caregivers, but neuroscience shows that’s just not true; men actually go through huge biological shifts when they become dads, too.

Sitting down with Emily for this episode is clinical psychologist Darby Saxbe, who chats to us about her book Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives, which challenges neo-traditional assumptions about parenting roles. 

Their conversation highlights the biological reality of fatherhood, exploring how men experience hormonal shifts, brain changes, and even paternal postpartum depression. 

Darby al...

When a survivor speaks up, the world too often demands a 'perfect victim' before it offers belief, a painful reality that leaves many wondering if their truth will ever be enough. 

In this episode with Deborah Tuerkheimer, author of Credible: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers, we hear about the “credibility complex,” including credibility discount and credibility inflation, rape myths, the “perfect victim” and “monster abuser” archetypes, and how victim-blaming and disbelief are reinforced by culture and legal rules. 

You’ll also learn about underreporting, the “second assault,” trauma-informed investigation, expert testimony on trauma dynamics, and how lo...

It’s easy to live life on autopilot, with your eyes glued to a screen, completely disconnected from your physical surroundings. 

But as we learn in this episode with Leidy Klotz, the spaces you inhabit aren't just backdrops; they are actively shaping your mind, moods, and memories. 

Talking about Leidy’s latest book, In a Good Place, you’ll hear about Leidy’s framework of agency, growth, and belonging; why attention to physical environments matters in an age of screens and automation; how workplaces and homes can support different needs through thoughtful choice and design; and how sp...

When was the last time you sparked up a conversation with a stranger and surprised yourself with how good it felt? 

Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley, author of A Little More Social, returns to the podcast to discuss with Michael why we systematically underestimate how positively strangers respond, how connection supports happiness, health, and longevity, and the key mechanisms behind our social pessimism (misjudging warmth vs. competence, overlooking reciprocity, and self-fulfilling avoidance). 

Nicholas shares research on how quickly people update after a conversation and how fast those gains can fade, plus practical “easy choice” experiments like asking...

Parenting often feels like a high-stakes guessing game played in the middle of a meltdown or a deafening teenage silence.

Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Lindsay C. Gibson returns to Psychologist Off the Clock to discuss her new book, "How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child," and the core mindsets that build emotional maturity across development. 

You’ll hear how emotionally immature parenting shows up, why self-reflection protects against repeating harmful patterns, how mistakes and repair strengthen trust, and what it looks like to treat kids as fully human with rich inner worlds, even when the...

Modern life has become a gauntlet of "dangerous weather" that frequently strips away our most basic human needs.

In this episode, Emily speaks with author and strategist Stephanie Malia Kraus about her book, How We Thrive, and the essential practice of "rehumaning." 

Stephanie breaks down the four systemic forces, from hustle culture to addictive tech, that undermine our well-being and offers a roadmap for reclaiming play, wonder, and rest. 

The discussion bridges the gap between ancient Hawaiian wayfinding and modern neuroscience, highlighting the critical importance of restorative "downstates" and simple regulation tools for na...

We’ve been taught that pain always means something is broken, but it’s often just a "stuck" danger signal in the brain. 

To show us how to turn that signal off, Jill Stoddard talks with Alan Gordon, the founder of the Pain Psychology Center and author of The Way Out. Drawing on his own recovery from chronic pain, Alan explains how fear and conditioning keep us hurting even after we've healed.

Through fascinating stories like the "construction worker" case and MRI surprise, they dive into the science of neuroplastic pain and the tools you can u...

What if success isn’t about grinding toward big goals but about following curiosity through small, imperfect experiments that lead somewhere better?

On Psychologist Off the Clock, award-winning neuroscientist and entrepreneur Anne-Laure Le Cunff, founder of Nest Labs and author of Tiny Experiments, shares how a health scare while working at Google helped her shift from rigid, linear goals to an experimental mindset rooted in curiosity. 

You’ll hear about common “cognitive scripts” (the sequel, crowd pleaser, and epic scripts), how to design tiny experiments to test beliefs without framing o...

Being absolutely sure you’re right should settle an argument, but somehow, it often does the opposite. Instead, things escalate, tensions rise, and before you know it, the conflict has taken on a life of its own. 

For this episode, Yael welcomes New York Times bestselling author, trained mediator, and Good Conflict co-founder Amanda Ripley to unpack her book  High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped, and How We Get Out, and the difference between “good conflict” that strengthens us and “high conflict” that feeds on contempt, disgust, and rigid us-versus-them thinking. 

You’ll hear why high conflict ma...

If your teen is getting caught in cycles of comparison, burnout, or avoidance while trying to “do enough” for college, this conversation offers a different perspective.

Emily talks with Ana Homayoun about her book Erasing the Finish Line and what really matters beyond grades, test scores, and prestige.

They walk you through unhealthy patterns in college admissions culture, how technology amplifies anxiety, and why most institutions actually accept the majority of applicants. Their conversation also reveals how long-term success depends far more on relationships and meaningful engagement than on bran...

If you’ve ever avoided saying yes to something meaningful because you were waiting to feel less anxious or more “ready,” this episode is for you.

Cohosts Yael and Michael Herold sit down for a chat about his confidence-building online course and the misconceptions that keep people stuck, especially the idea that motivation and the “right mindset” must come first. 

You’ll hear how acceptance and commitment therapy reframes anxiety as a passenger you can bring along while you drive toward your values, why rigid social scripts don’t work, and how l...

Guilt can feel uncomfortable and easy to push away, but it is one of those emotions that actually serves an important purpose in our lives.

For this episode, Debbie sits down with developmental psychologist Chris Moore, author of The Power of Guilt, to unpack what guilt really is and why it plays such an important role in our lives and relationships. Informed by both research and personal experience, Chris offers a perspective that might completely change how you see this emotion.

You’ll come away with an understanding of where guilt comes from, how it sh...

If you’ve ever ended an argument with your partner, coworker, or family member feeling confused about how it escalated so quickly, this episode is for you. 

Julia Minson, founder of the Constructive Disagreement Lab and author of How to Disagree Better, explains to us why trying to “win” arguments often starts fights and offers a different metric for success: a disagreement that increases both people’s willingness to talk again. 

Drawing on her work on naive realism and research on receptiveness, she discusses why differences feel threatening, how listening is hard to perceive in conflict...

Overwhelm can push us to a point where the tools we normally rely on suddenly feel out of reach. 

In this episode, clinical psychologist and burnout expert Kerry Makin-Byrd discusses her book Start Here: A Practical Guide for the Overwhelmed, created as a simple, step-by-step guide for moments when thinking clearly feels difficult. She explains overwhelm as being outside the “window of tolerance,” when the nervous system moves into overarousal or shutdown, and everyday functioning, like sleep, mood, and decision-making, can be disrupted.

Kerry introduces a three-part approach called Soothe, Transcend, Move. The idea is to re...

Weight feels like one of those topics everyone has an opinion on, yet it’s deeply personal for each of us. So, for this episode, Emily and Jill take the opportunity to dig into what it’s like to navigate body changes in a world full of strong opinions, from the rise of GLP-1 medications to the stigma that can come with medical or surgical interventions.

Jill opens up about her own journey with weight, body image, and ultimately deciding to have gastric bypass surgery, including what’s shifted for her since, physically, emotionally, and socially. 

They...

Feeling loved sounds simple, but it is not something that just happens because someone cares about you. 

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Yael talks with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis about their book, How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, and why it is possible to be loved but not actually feel loved.

They explore what really helps people feel cared for and understood in any kind of relationship, why stress or attachment patterns can get in the way, and how small mindset shifts l...

Oversharing has a bad reputation. But what if revealing more about yourself is actually the fastest way to build trust? 

To give us insight into the psychology behind oversharing — when it builds connection and when it backfires — we’re joined by behavioral scientist and author of Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, Leslie John.

Leslie guides us through the surprising benefits of self-disclosure, exploring how revealing personal information can strengthen social bonds and increase trust. 

She also shares research on how disclosure impacts relationships, workplace dynamics, and even physiological stress, and explains how to find...

If you struggle with people-pleasing and losing yourself in relationships, this episode with Ingrid Clayton, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert in relational trauma, about her book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, is a conversation that can help you understand and transform patterns holding you back. 

Exploring fawning, which is a lesser-known trauma response shaped by caretaking, appeasement, and self-abandonment, you’ll learn how it often shows up as anxiety and hypervigilance. 

And, through personal and client stories, you’ll gain insights on reclai...

Behind the scenes of everyday family life is a mental workload many of us carry without even realizing it, and that’s exactly what Debbie Sorensen explores in her interview with sociologist Allison Daminger about her book, What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. 

Allison defines cognitive labor as the invisible work of managing family needs and obligations, and walks us through its importance for individual well-being and relationship satisfaction. 

The discussion also touches on how these tasks are often unrecognized in statistics, the gender dynamics in c...

Caregiving is often framed as a burden, but what if it’s also one of the most meaningful ways we come to know ourselves?

Emily sits down with acclaimed journalist and cultural critic Elissa Strauss for this episode to discuss her extensive work on the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving, which has appeared in publications like The Atlantic and The New York Times. 

Centering on her new book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others, they challenge feminist notions that have undervalued caregiving and explore how caregiving can enrich one's sen...

In a world that’s more connected than ever yet feels increasingly lonely, award-winning journalist Jennifer B. Wallace explores why the simple human need to matter may be the most powerful force shaping our well-being. 

Joining Yael to discuss her new book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, Jennifer underscores the crucial role of mattering in fostering resilience and well-being, emphasizing its importance in both personal and professional contexts. You’ll gain practical ways to cultivate a sense of mattering, learn about the importance of attunement in relationships, and under...

We all feel emotions every day, but how often do we stop to understand what they really are and how they work? 

Joining Michael for this episode is Ethan Kross, a renowned authority on emotion regulation and author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You, for a conversation about the science behind how our internal dialogue affects health, performance, and relationships. 

Ethan explains what emotions are, how they function, and the importance of teaching emotional regulation skills from a young age. 

He also covers various tools and strategies that can hel...