Life Of Caesar
A long-form podcast about the lives of the Julio-Claudian dynasty and beyond.
One Punch, Paetus – Vespasian #27
Paetus is back. You remember Paetus - the general who declared "mission accomplished" against the Parthians and then immediately had to beg Corbulo to come rescue him. Now, ten years on, he's got a new emperor and a second chance at glory, and he's found himself a suitably soft target: Antiochus IV of Commagene, a loyal Roman client king of nearly forty years who, as far as anyone can tell, hasn't actually done anything wrong. Antiochus's response is to pack up his family, pitch a tent 22 kilometres outside the city, and basically wave his hands in the air going "...
The Landlord of Judaea – Vespasian #26
Bassus is mopping up the last Jewish holdouts in Judaea, and things go about as well as you'd expect for everyone who isn't a Roman. The defenders of Machaerus negotiate a deal to walk free.... turns out the Gentiles living below the fortress weren't included in that deal. Then Vespasian, ever the pragmatist, declares all of Judaea his personal property and slaps a permanent tax on Jews everywhere in the empire. Not governing Judaea. Owning it.
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Pliny’s Guide to Menstrual Magic – Vespasian #25
This episode we go deep on the hilltop fortresses still holding out in Judaea after the fall of Jerusalem, which turns into a very long detour through Pliny the Elder's chapter on menstrual blood.... which is, it turns out, absolutely packed with practical tips you can use at home. Don't let your pregnant horses anywhere near a menstruating virgin, obviously. We also get to Machaerus, the fortress where John the Baptist allegedly lost his head, and a magic root that will kill your dog but cure demonic possession, so swings and roundabouts.
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A River of Gold – Vespasian #24
We're covering the triumph of Vespasian and Titus, and our eyewitness is Josephus.... a Jewish priest who watched Rome parade the looted contents of his own temple down the street and somehow managed to keep it together enough to write one of the most vivid accounts of a Roman triumph we have. The menorah, the multi-storey floats, rivers of gold and ivory, Jewish prisoners dressed in finery to hide how emaciated they were. It's an extraordinary document from an extraordinarily compromised man.
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The God in the Dog Mask – Vespasian #23
This episode we're deep in the Temple of Isis - which turns out to be exactly where Vespasian and Titus had to spend the night before their joint triumph, for reasons both boring and genuinely weird. We also cover Decius Mundus, a man so obsessed with a married woman that he bribed priests to let him dress up as Anubis and have sex with her.... which Josephus drops right after his suspiciously glowing account of Jesus, purely by coincidence. And we take a hard look at whether Nero actually blamed the Christians for the Great Fire of Rome, or...
Titus’ Victory Tour – Vespasian #22
Titus wraps up the Jewish War with a five-month tour of the region, dropping in on city after city with two legions at his back and thousands of Jewish captives in tow.... who he then has killed, in as many creative ways as possible, as entertainment. Meanwhile he's sleeping with Berenice, Jewish princess and co-ruler of the very territory he just levelled, which is complicated. And somewhere in Syria, Josephus spots a river that only flows on the Sabbath, spawning a legend that runs for 2,000 years.
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The Last Man Standing – Vespasian #21
Vespasian is finally making his way back to Rome and apparently every city he passes through absolutely loses its goddamn mind.... according to Josephus who is, of course, completely unbiased. Meanwhile Domitian is talking a big game about personally crushing the Batavian revolt until Mucianus very firmly tells him to go back to his room.
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CROWNS FROM THE TEMPLE – Vespasian #20
On this episode, the siege of Jerusalem is over and Titus is handing out medals, melting down temple gold to crown his best soldiers, and carving up his legions for their next postings around the empire. We dig into what happened to the early Christian community in Jerusalem — spoiler: nobody really knows, and that's the fascinating part. Then Cam and Ray pause to take in the sheer scale of what just happened: a 2,200-year-old city, wiped off the face of the earth.
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YHWH v JOVE – Vespasian #19
On this episode, Cameron and Ray wrap up the fall of Jerusalem in September 70 CE — Titus strolls into the ruins, declares Yahweh helped him destroy Yahweh's own temple, and the boys go deep on the genuinely wild linguistic coincidence that the Roman sky-god Jove and the Hebrew God share the same name. Then it's grim accounting time: survivors get sorted into gladiators, mine slaves, and beast-fodder, Josephus rescues some mates, and rebel leader Simon Bar-Gioras emerges from a tunnel dressed in a white robe trying to pass himself off as a ghost. Plus Cameron's AI fact-checker contradicts itself mid-episode, Ra...
UNLEASH THE CARL – Vespasian #18
This week we finally reach the end of the Siege of Jerusalem — and it's brutal. Titus storms the upper city, the rebels' back is broken, Simon and John have vanished into the tunnels, and by September 25th, 70 CE, the city is rubble and the Temple is gone forever. We also dive into the fate of the sacred Menorah — where it went, what it meant, and why nobody knows where it is today.
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Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17
It's August 70 CE, and the siege of Jerusalem is entering its apocalyptic final act. In this episode, Cameron and Ray pick up where the last one left off — starving rebels launching desperate sorties against exhausted Roman legionaries, Titus ordering his men to burn down the silver-coated temple gates to finally crack open the last Jewish stronghold, and the mounting pressure on one of the ancient world's most sacred structures. Before the walls even fall, Cameron takes a deep dive into the remarkable cast of Jesuses and Ananiases haunting Josephus's account of the war — including a wild-eyed plebeian prophet named Jesu...
Slip, Trip, and Slit – Vespasian #16
It's 70 CE, the walls of Jerusalem are crumbling, and the city is eating itself alive — literally. In this episode of Life of Caesar, Cameron and Ray wade deep into Josephus's harrowing account of the final, grinding assault on the Antonia Fortress and the Temple Mount, where the siege of Jerusalem has reached a level of horror almost beyond comprehension. Titus is still trying to take the city intact, still offering surrender terms that rebel leader John of Gischala keeps refusing, even as 600,000 corpses have been thrown out of the gates and the starving population has been reduced to eating du...
Vespasian #13 – Titus Likes It Tight
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Gallienus: The Pragmatist Who Kept Rome Alive
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Vespasian #7 – Birds, Betrayal, and the Birth of Christianity
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Vespasian #6 – Bitumen, Blood, and Bias
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Vespasian #5 – Circumcision, Sabbath, and Salt
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Vespasian #4 – Marc Hyden, author, “Emperor Titus”
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Vespasian #3 – The Sticky Wicket
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Vespasian #2 – Big Dick Imperium: Vespasian’s Real Power Brokers
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Vespasian #1 – Welcome to Vespasian
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Vitellius #20 – Despite Everything, I Was Your Emperor
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Vitellius #19 – Rome’s Civil War Gets Horny
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Vitellius #14 – Order 66
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Vitellius #9 – STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD, NO MERCY
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Vitellius #5 – The Mule Guy
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Vitellius #1 – The Third New Emperor
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Otho #12 – Fortitude and Firmness
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Otho #10 – The Comforts of Home
The Praetorians push for a fast campaign because they didn't want to spend any more time away from the comforts of Rome than necessary. Unfortunately, in letting them drive the strategy, Otho sealed his doom.
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Republic Schmublic
In our last episode, we finished on June 9, 68. Nero was 30 years and six months old. He had ruled for 13 years and 8 months. On June 10, 68, while he was still in Spain, The Senate declared the governor of Hispania Tarraconensis, northern Spain, 73 year old Servius Sulpicius Galba, to be the new Emperor. He was the first person from outside of the Julio-Claudian family to assume the throne.
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Nero #32 – Michael Tremblay On Stoicism (part 1)
With the recent demise on our show of Nero's favourite Stoic, Seneca, we wanted to go balls deep on Stoicism. To help us out, our guest Michael Tremblay, who has a PhD in philosophy, where he studied Stoic ethics and education, came on and talk to us about the history and ideas behind the philosophy and the importance of Seneca. Here's part one of our discussion.
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The Pisonian Conspiracy
Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.
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The Great Fire Of Rome
Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.
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CONSTANTINE AT THE BRIDGE
Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.
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PROMISCUOUS THONG
Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.
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BEAST OF BURDEN
Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.
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OH NO MENS
Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.
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Eternal Decline Part 2
This is part two of a massive two-and-a-half-hour chat we had recently Edward J. Watts, a professor of history at the University of California, San Diego, and author and editor of several prize-winning books, including THE FINAL PAGAN GENERATION, a great book about HYPATIA, a book out about the collapse of the Roman Republic, MORTAL REPUBLIC, and his latest book is THE ETERNAL DECLINE AND FALL OF ROME.
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Eternal Decline Part 1
Edward J. Watts is a professor of history at the University of California, San Diego, and author and editor of several prize-winning books, including THE FINAL PAGAN GENERATION, a great book about HYPATIA, a book out about the collapse of the Roman Republic, MORTAL REPUBLIC, and his latest book is THE ETERNAL DECLINE AND FALL OF ROME. This is part one of a massive two-and-a-half-hour chat we had recently.
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Your Filthy Little Mouth
With Seneca out of the way, Tigellinus brings down the other prefect, Rufus. To strengthen his relationship with Nero, he increases his paranoia about the two men Nero had recently exiled for being threats to his power - Plautus and Sulla. Poppaea, not happy with Nero just divorcing Octavia, makes sure she gets rid of her forever.
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