Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom navigating intense bedtime struggles with her highly anxious daughter. When emotions escalate and her child feels panicked or overwhelmed, she questions whether enforcing boundaries might seem insensitive. I break down what’s really going on—how anxiety drives a need for control—and why bedtime often becomes the battleground.

Using child-centered strategies, I walk through how to respond in ways that honor both the child’s emotions and the parent's need for structure, sleep, and sanity. I explain how to set compassionate boundaries, return responsibility, and use empoweri...

In this episode, I respond to a question from Hannah in England about her 3.5-year-old son who is regressing in his toilet training—especially around poop. I walk through how power struggles, control, and developmental readiness all play a role in potty setbacks. I explain how enforcement choices from the child-centered model can be used to return responsibility to the child, allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their decisions without nagging, pressure, or shame.

We also talk about why school-based strategies like sticker charts and bathroom schedules often make things worse, especially when a child al...

In this episode, I respond to a question from Whitney about her six-year-old son’s negative self-talk and self-harming behaviors—things like calling himself “stupid” or hitting himself after making a mistake. I explain why these behaviors are often rooted in low self-esteem, anxiety, and low frustration tolerance—and why it’s not about attention or defiance, but maladaptive coping.

I walk through how to set clear, compassionate limits on self-harm while offering healthy alternatives for emotional release. I also share how to support his self-concept through encouragement and provide access to over 100 esteem-building phrases to use at home. If...

In this episode, I answer an email from Sarah, a mom whose two boys are in school-based play therapy and who is just beginning to learn about the child-centered approach. Sarah shares her excitement, questions, and challenges as she starts to apply what she’s learned—especially the difficulty of knowing what to do in the moment with strong emotions.

I talk about the common struggle parents face when trying something new: your brain goes blank. I explain why that happens, how CCPT is like learning a new language, and what to do instead of getting discouraged. I of...

In this episode, I talk about how to have honest, age-appropriate conversations with your child when a death occurs—especially when it’s sudden and unexpected. I walk through how to talk to children in a way that gives them truth without overwhelming them, and why sparing them from information often does more harm than good.

I also explain how grief looks different in children than in adults, how developmental stages impact the grieving process over time, and how to support your child through those recurring waves. I share practical suggestions for closure, guidance on when to seek...

In this episode, I respond to Sunny from Australia, who shares her family's ongoing bedtime struggle with her 6.5-year-old daughter—an intelligent, big-feeling child working through anxiety and night terrors. After a year of consistency that led to sleep deprivation and exhaustion, Sunny and her partner ultimately let their daughter sleep on a separate bed in their room. Now, they’re wondering how to help her transition back to her own bedroom.

I explain the underlying reasons why anxious kids resist sleeping alone and how control becomes their coping strategy. I also outline a gradual, child-centered approach to h...

In this episode, I answer a question from Claire, a mom of 4-year-old twins, who’s navigating the challenges of potty training and trying to decide if limits or consequences are appropriate when accidents happen. I talk through the developmental reality of toileting at this age, the somatic and emotional components that impact bodily regulation, and why accidents—even when a child “should know better”—are often not about defiance.

I also share why I don’t recommend using rewards or taking things away for potty behavior, and how to respond calmly and neutrally with a gentle reminder of...

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby—a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching—for an important conversation about how our struggles as parents affect our kids, especially during seasons of divorce, separation, or personal crisis. We explore what parents need to know when navigating big transitions, why your own emotional health directly influences your child’s, and how to make decisions with confidence and clarity.

We also talk about co-parenting with intention, modeling emotional resilience, and why being the parent you want to be starts with becoming...

In this episode, I answer a question from Sabrina about her 10-year-old daughter who suddenly refused to continue play therapy after just a few weeks. She now says she’d rather journal or talk with her mom instead. Sabrina wonders if play at home can bring the same results as therapy and how to navigate this resistance.

I explain the four phases of play therapy, why resistance is a natural and expected part of the process, and how avoiding therapy can reinforce anxiety rather than resolve it. I also discuss the key components that make play therapy ef...

In this episode, I answer a question from Anne in Germany about her three-year-old daughter who refuses to choose when given enforcement choices. Instead of picking an option, she repeatedly says nothing, creating a power struggle around limit-setting.

I explain why choosing "nothing" is still a choice and how to handle this scenario without engaging in a battle of wills. I walk through how to calmly and confidently remind children that choosing not to choose means the parent will choose for them—and why this approach teaches self-control, responsibility, and cause-and-effect thinking. If you’ve ever struggled with...

In this episode, I introduce the concept of ADULTHOOD BIAS —the tendency for adults to forget what it was like to be a child, who does not possess rational thought or abstract reasoning until about age 12. This bias causes frustration when kids act impulsively, give one-word answers, or behave in ways that don’t make sense from an adult perspective. Children don’t think or reason the way adults do; they react emotionally and live in the moment. When we expect them to process situations like we do, we set ourselves up for unnecessary struggles.

I explain how re...

In this episode, I answer a question from Lauren, a mom struggling with her almost 3-year-old’s intense attachment to her father. Her daughter experiences severe separation anxiety, especially at bedtime, making it nearly impossible for mom to comfort her without dad’s presence. I walk through why this attachment has developed and what steps Lauren (and any parent in a similar situation) can take to break the cycle. From setting clear boundaries to using the "be-with" attitudes and remaining neutral through emotional storms, I offer a step-by-step approach to help children learn self-regulation while preserving the parent-child relationship. If b...

In this final episode of the Mastering Neutrality series on the Play Therapy Podcast, I reflect on the essence of child-centered play therapy (CCPT) through a deeply moving piece written by Lee, a CCPT therapist in the UK who is in my coaching program. She beautifully captures what it truly means to embody neutrality, congruence, and acceptance in the playroom. Her words illustrate the heart of our work—being present with children, no matter the mess, the chaos, or the unknown, and holding space for their emotions without judgment.

I also share exciting news about my ongoing pa...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to a heartfelt question from Heather, a mom navigating divorce while helping her young child through big emotions and challenging behaviors like aggression and biting. I discuss how changes in relationships—such as a deployed parent, a changing caregiver, or shifting custody arrangements—can deeply impact a child's sense of stability and security. I explain why behaviors like biting and aggression often stem from emotional overwhelm rather than defiance and share practical, child-centered strategies to help guide children through these struggles.

I also walk through limit-setting tech...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I kick off a new series on raising kids who self-regulate. Power struggles and control grabs are common challenges in parenting, but they often undermine the parent-child relationship. I discuss why the ultimate goal is not controlling your child’s behavior but teaching parents a new way to interact with their kids that fosters self-regulation.

I introduce the key concept that children learn self-regulation by being given the opportunity to take responsibility for their actions, rather than having their behavior controlled by adults. Through this series, I’ll shar...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an insightful email from Laura in the UK, who is navigating challenges with her 10-year-old son. Laura shares concerns about his lack of intrinsic motivation, his struggle with self-worth, and their morning routine battles. I explain how to encourage intrinsic motivation by using neutral encouragement paired with reflective statements, and how to avoid praise, which can often backfire.

For improving self-worth, I discuss strategies like coupling affirmations with validations and addressing the internal dialogue that drives resistance. Finally, I outline a step-by-step approach to transforming...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to Alison’s questions about handling two common parenting challenges: when kids reject reflecting feelings and when they power-struggle choice-giving. Alison shares her frustrations with her son covering his ears and yelling, “Stop talking!” during feeling reflections and refusing choices during mealtime. I explain why this resistance is normal, especially when children are uncomfortable with new strategies, and how to stay consistent in your approach.

I offer practical tips for navigating these power struggles, such as softening your tone, using patience, and staying neutral when your child...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Deborah in Florida, who is navigating several parenting challenges in a blended family. Deborah shares her experience raising two sons, ages 11 and 4, and the complexities of applying play therapy principles across different stages of development, varying household rules, and challenges like screen time and birth order dynamics. I provide practical advice for implementing consistent parenting strategies, managing screen time effectively, and helping her youngest son engage with choices and limits without power struggles.

I also address how birth order resets with a...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Cindy about managing her five-year-old daughter's intense separation anxiety and big emotions. Cindy describes her daughter's attachment to her as a "safe person," especially at home, where her anxiety becomes more unmanageable. I discuss strategies that can support Cindy’s daughter, including reflecting her feelings to help build emotional vocabulary and setting clear limits with choices, which empowers Cindy’s daughter to handle situations more independently.

I also suggest a gradual approach to creating separation expectations, using a specific target date and providing choi...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Nicola, a parent struggling with her six-year-old son who resists reflective feelings and limit-setting techniques, often becoming aggressive. Nicola also has a younger son who responds well to these strategies, adding to her frustration. I explain why this behavior is a typical power and control struggle, and how her son's resistance is rooted in his discomfort with change. I offer practical advice on how to approach these situations with patience and consistency, emphasizing that new parenting strategies often trigger discomfort, but that tenacity and...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I speak with C.R. Stewart, author of the Britfield series, about the power of wholesome literature in shaping children’s emotional and intellectual development. We discuss how value-based stories can nurture your child’s creativity, critical thinking, and sense of self-worth, while providing an alternative to the media and screen time overload. Learn how you can empower your children with content that promotes family, courage, and hope.

Stewart shares insights into his creative process, the global impact of his books, and how parents can nurture creativity and cour...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Amy, a mom of two from Florida, who is navigating the challenge of implementing child-centered play therapy principles with her 12 and 9-year-olds. Amy is concerned about whether it’s too late to start using these techniques with older children and asks about handling mean words, backtalk, and yelling in her home. I discuss how these strategies can be applied effectively at any age, and I offer practical advice on setting limits, staying calm during heated moments, and using child-centered techniques even when the dynamics in th...

In this episode, I address a question from Nell in Ireland about using encouragement and esteem-building techniques with a sensitive child who doesn't respond well in challenging moments. I discuss the importance of ensuring our tone of voice and facial expressions are congruent with the child's emotional state, especially when they're frustrated or struggling.
I emphasize the value of reflecting feelings before offering encouragement. This approach validates the child's emotions and creates a connection, making them more receptive to encouragement. I also touch on the necessity of setting limits when a child reacts inappropriately, such as pushing or...

In this episode, I address a common parenting challenge: children's resistance to hygiene practices. I respond to a question from Rosemary in Florida, who's struggling with her 10-year-old daughter's refusal to use soap while showering and to wipe and flush after using the bathroom.

I explain that this behavior is fundamentally a power and control issue. Children have control over very few things in their lives, and hygiene routines are one area where they can exert independence. To address this, I introduce the concept of choice giving as a powerful parenting tool. I walk through how to...

In this episode, I discuss the importance of implementing small play sessions with your children to practice the parenting skills we've been discussing. I explain why play is crucial for children's development and emotional processing, and how it provides a unique window into their world.

I share practical advice on how to schedule 30-minute play sessions with each of your children every week. During these sessions, I encourage you to let your child lead the play while you focus on practicing specific skills like reflecting feelings, encouraging, and giving choices. I emphasize that this dedicated playtime helps...

In this episode, I discuss the importance of being present and engaged with our children. I share a heartwarming experience I had on a recent flight, where I observed a father fully engaged with his young son for the entire 2.5-hour journey. This interaction exemplified the essence of play therapy parenting - being attuned, present, and engaged.

I offer practical tips for improving presence, including maintaining eye contact, using reflective responses, and trying to experience the world through our children's eyes.

Throughout the episode, I stress that building a strong relationship with our children is...

In this episode, I address a question from Emma in Ireland about her 4-year-old son's toileting issues. Despite being toilet trained for over a year, he frequently has accidents, especially during changes in routine or when other people are caring for him. I explain that this behavior is likely rooted in power and control issues, as children have control over very few aspects of their lives.

I discuss the concept of "somatic" responses, where emotional issues manifest physically, and how positive emotions can help overcome these challenges. I provide practical advice on using a child's "currency"...

In this episode, I discuss the topic of power struggles between parents and children. I explain why these struggles occur, provide a framework for handling them, and offer practical advice rooted in child-centered play therapy principles.

I emphasize the importance of understanding the "why" behind power struggles. Children often seek control because they have little of it in their daily lives. By recognizing this, parents can approach these situations with more empathy and effectiveness. I introduce a framework using three of the four pillars we've discussed in previous episodes: reflecting feelings, giving choices, and setting limits when...

In this episode, I address a question from Noel about managing morning routines and getting kids ready for school on time. As many parents can relate, the struggle to get children dressed, fed, and out the door for the bus is a common challenge. I share insights from a child-centered play therapy approach to make mornings easier and less stressful for everyone involved.

I emphasize the importance of providing choices to children, especially the night before, to create buy-in and ownership. This approach helps reduce power struggles and nagging in the morning. I also share a personal...

In this episode, I discuss a practice from the child-centered play therapy model: sitting in the pocket of your child's feelings. As parents, we often struggle to relate to our children's intense emotions because we have the luxury of rational thinking. However, children live in their emotions to a degree that's hard for us to comprehend.

I explain why it's important to reflect your child's feelings without dismissing or trying to fix them. By simply acknowledging their emotions and sitting with them in that feeling, we help our children feel heard and understood. This approach, while challenging...

In this episode, I answer a question from Gaer in the UK about her two adopted sons, ages 3 and 9, who are both starting play therapy to help with anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Gaer's youngest in particular has been acting out physically when upset. 

I explain that it's common for siblings, especially of the same sex, to take on "internalizer" and "externalizer" roles when it comes to expressing emotions. The older son is likely internalizing his feelings while the younger is externalizing through aggressive behaviors. Neither is healthy, as both boys lack the emotional vocabulary and coping skills t...

In this episode, I talk about how the relationship with your child is the most important thing, even more important than the specific parenting skills and techniques we've been discussing. While learning and applying skills like reflecting feelings, setting limits, giving choices, and using encouragement are certainly valuable, we can't lose sight of why we use those approaches in the first place. 

It all comes back to preserving and strengthening our relationship with our kids. Every time a child is struggling or misbehaving, there is almost always a fracture or damage to the relationship that has occurred. B...

In today's episode, I discuss the importance of encouragement and how it differs from praise when it comes to parenting. Encouragement is all about focusing on your child's efforts and contributions, rather than giving value-laden words that have opposites, like "good" or "awesome." When you encourage your child by starting with "you" and acknowledging their perseverance, problem-solving skills, or willingness to take on challenges, you help them develop a healthy self-concept and sense of identity. This empowers them and reduces power struggles, as they feel a measure of control over their circumstances. I encourage you to challenge yourself this...

In this episode, I address a listener's question about gentle parenting and whether it has gone too far. I discuss the principles of gentle parenting and contrast them with the child-centered approach, highlighting the importance of setting appropriate limits and boundaries while maintaining a kind, respectful, and relational dynamic with your child.

I explain that while gentle parenting aims to build a healthy bond and meet a child's needs, it often lacks a comprehensive framework for effective discipline. The child-centered approach, on the other hand, is highlighted by a well-researched framework of interacting with children, and empowers...

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the practical application of the "limit setting" pillar in daily parenting. Now that we’ve covered the four foundational pillars, it’s time to see how we can apply these skills in everyday interactions with our kids. Limit setting is unique in that it combines the other pillars—reflecting feelings and giving choices—making it a nuanced yet powerful tool for effective discipline.

I explore how limit setting can be used proactively to address daily struggles, such as managing snack times, bedtime routines, or sibling conflict...

In this episode, I discuss how to practically apply the "choice-giving" pillar from the child-centered play therapy parenting framework. I cover two types of choices to give your kids:

Empowerment Choices

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In this episode, we explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings, focusing on how this essential skill can be effectively used in daily interactions with children. Our goal is to demystify the process and encourage more confident and consistent application in your parenting.

Key Points Covered:

Understanding Reflecting Feelings: An overview of why this skill is fundamental yet challenging, emphasizing its importance in validating children’s emotions.

Practical Application: Step-by-step guidance on how to reflect feelings accurately, from recognizing nonverbal cues to matching your verbal responses with your child's emotional states.

Re...

In this episode, I address a question submitted by a therapist on behalf of a concerned parent. The parent has a 6-year-old girl who is grappling with body image issues. As this little girl expresses concerns about her tummy being "fat" and worries that other kids are judging her, her mother fears she may be using food to soothe her big emotions.   These behaviors are merely cues, signaling deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. More often than not, a child's fixation on food, sleep, or obedience stems from a profound need for control or a manifestation of high a...

I can't emphasize enough the profound impact of encouragement on a child's self-esteem, self-worth, and overall development. Unlike the other pillars we've discussed, encouragement stands alone as a powerful tool that shapes a child's understanding of their identity, capabilities, and innate value.   In this episode, we delve deep into the crucial distinction between praise and encouragement. Praise, although well-intentioned, often includes value judgments that inadvertently make children dependent on external validation. On the other hand, encouragement focuses solely on the child's efforts and contributions, fostering an internal locus of control – a sense of motivation that comes from within.   I challenge you...

In this episode, I answer a question from Hayley in Australia, dealing with a common issue many parents face: sibling conflict. Hayley has been diligently applying the principles we discuss here, such as getting down to her children's level, validating their feelings, and setting limits, yet she’s not seeing the positive changes she hoped for, especially when it comes to her children hitting each other.   I address the importance of neutral phrasing in limit setting, the impact of birth order on sibling dynamics, and the necessity of providing alternative choices to undesirable behavior. I also touch on the significance of...