Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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What should you do when a birth mother doesn’t want contact in open adoption, but other birth family members still want a relationship with your child? In this Weekend Wisdom episode, we answer one adoptive parent’s question about how to support a child who wants to see his birth mother while continuing a meaningful relationship with his birth grandmother. We discuss how to talk honestly with your child without blaming or making promises, prepare for visits with birth family, make space for sadness and disappointment, keep relationships separate rather than...

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How can parents support transracial adoption identity and belonging as children grow and begin defining who they are for themselves? In this panel conversation, three young adults with lived experience in adoption and foster care share how family, race, culture, community, trauma, and relationships shaped their developing identities and sense of belonging. They discuss the difference between having a placement and truly feeling wanted, what it means to be fully known by the people who love you, how parents can respond to bias and difficult conversations, and why families adopting across...

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When should a parent consider residential treatment for an adopted teen who has been struggling for years? One listener shared that after trying therapy, different supports, and everything they knew to help their child heal, simply hearing the words “residential treatment” felt like a parental failure. 

In this Weekend Wisdom episode, we explore how to move beyond the question, “Am I giving up on my child?” and instead ask what level of support your teen needs right now. We also discuss how gathering information, expanding your child’s support team, and c...

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How can parents protect kids from sexual exploitation without teaching them to fear the world around them? For adoptive, foster, and kinship families, this question can feel especially important when raising children who have experienced trauma, abuse, neglect, disrupted attachment, or other challenges that may affect trust, boundaries, and their need for connection. In this episode, child safety advocate and author CJ Scarlet, also known as The Badass Grandma, joins us to discuss how parents and caregivers can help kids recognize grooming and unsafe situations, trust their instincts, set healthy boundaries...

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Are you considering whether your family is ready to foster or adopt a sibling group? Keeping siblings together can preserve important family relationships, shared history, and connection, but parenting multiple children who have experienced trauma also requires careful preparation. 

In this Weekend Wisdom episode, we explore the questions prospective foster and adoptive parents should ask before saying yes, including each child’s individual needs, sibling dynamics, trauma history, your family’s time and emotional capacity, the needs of children already in your home, and the support systems you will need...

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If you want to adopt a relative from another country, the process involves much more than simply proving your family connection. International relative adoption—sometimes called international kinship adoption—must meet U.S. immigration requirements as well as the adoption laws of the child’s country. 

In this episode, we talk with Debbie Price, BSW, Executive Director of Children’s House International, and Kathy Holliday, International Specialist, also of Children’s House International. They explain who may qualify, USCIS and Hague requirements, age limits, realistic timelines, and why families should work...

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Question: I recently received an autism diagnosis in my mid-30s. I have relatively low support needs and am working with my therapist to identify the best ways to manage my energy. I think I could still be a good foster parent, but will it be an issue for an agency?

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What does healthy openness in adoption really look like—and how can adoptive parents maintain meaningful birth family connections over time? In this episode, we talk with adoptive mom Annie Iverson about practical strategies for open adoption, including staying consistent when life gets busy, setting healthy boundaries, keeping your child’s needs at the center, and adjusting openness as children grow. We also explore how connection with birth family can support an adoptee’s identity and sense of belonging, plus ways parents can honor a child’s birth family and story even whe...

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Parenting kids exposed to trauma is hard. Sometimes, it is very hard, but these families can thrive. In an interview with Creating a Family, Dr. Ross Greene, a Harvard Psychology professor, stressed that it was crucial for parents of children exposed to trauma to realize that kids want to do well, and if they are struggling, it is likely because they are lacking a specific skill needed to succeed.

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Children in foster care can experience far more than a change in placement. They may lose caregivers, siblings, schools, routines, communities, caseworkers, therapists, and other trusted relationships—sometimes again and again. What does that repeated instability mean for a child’s behavior, sense of safety, and ability to trust?

In this episode, we talk with Rita Soronen, President and CEO of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, about the impact of foster care instability and what caregivers and child welfare professionals can do to create greater stability and connection. 

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Bedtime can be especially challenging for children who have experienced trauma, loss, or disrupted attachment—and even harder when parents disagree about how to respond. In this episode of Weekend Wisdom from Creating a Family, we share practical ways to approach bedtime as a team, divide the parenting load more fairly, support your child’s need for connection and regulation, and protect your relationship from exhaustion and resentment.

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How can play help children heal, regulate big emotions, and strengthen attachment? We talk with Georgie Wisen-Vincent about ways that adoptive, foster, and kinship caregivers can use playfulness to build connection, support emotional growth, and help children impacted by trauma thrive. She is a nationally recognized play therapy expert, co-author of the new book , The Way of Play, and the Founder/Director of The PlayStrong Institute.

In this episode, we explore why play is essential to children's emotional development, how trauma, loss, neglect, and disrupted attachment can affect a...

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Question: I've been looking into a lot of resources and communities for foster parents, and it seems like many of them, especially in my area, approach fostering from a Christian perspective. I was raised Christian but am no longer comfortable in Christian spaces. How do I find community? 

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What are trauma-responsive practices, and how can they impact your child’s behavior, emotional well-being, and success in school? In this episode, we speak with Dr. Brandy-Lea McCombs, founder of STL234 Outreaches and a frequent speaker on reviving resilience in children, drawing from her professional research and her personal journey as an adoptive parent.

Learn practical trauma-responsive practices for building connection during calm moments, responding to meltdowns, balancing empathy with healthy boundaries, and partnering with your child’s school. This conversation offers encouragement and actionable strategies for adoptive, foster, and...

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Question: Our adopted son is almost 4 months old and perfectly healthy. He eats well, sleeps well, and seems to be hitting his milestones just fine. We know that he was exposed to cocaine during pregnancy, but he was born only three weeks early, which is still full-term. He had a healthy birth weight, he was not suffering from withdrawal in the hospital, and he has checked out as perfectly healthy at all of his pediatrician visits so far. My question is, does the lack of negative effects of cocaine...

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Are you parenting teens, or will you be in a few years? Don’t miss this conversation with psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, author of the book, “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents.“

In this episode, we discuss:

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Question:  I feel terrible even saying this, but I am counting down the days until school starts. My kids have trauma histories, ADHD, and prenatal exposure, and summer has been rough. The lack of routine seems to make everything harder—sleep, behavior, arguing, screen time, all of it. We started summer with big plans, but now everyone is cranky, including me. How do we make it through the rest of summer without completely falling apart?

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When we think about attachment in adoption and foster care, we usually focus on the child. But parents bring their own attachment histories and life experiences into the relationship as well. Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker explores how a parent's past can shape their parenting, influence reactions to challenging behaviors, and impact family connection and healing. Dr. Wirta-Leiker is a licensed psychologist, transnational and transracial adoptee, adoptive parent, creator of the National Adoptee-Therapist Directory, and author of the Adoptees Like Me children’s book series.

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Question: What advice do you have for fostering/adopting children with autism, particularly those with limited communication skills? How can we best support them in expressing big feelings and feeling safe to do so? What can we do to help them feel they have some control and feel heard when they can't always communicate what they want and have a harder time understanding what's going on?

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How can storytelling help kids heal? In this episode, we talk to Dr. Sharon Zaffarese-Dippold to explore how story helps children make sense of their experiences, build resilience, and move toward thriving, including simple, everyday ways to begin using it at home. She is a psychotherapist with 27 years of experience in counseling and author of the "Garbage Bag Life" series, which emphasizes her journey through foster care.

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Question: My partner and I parent really differently, especially with our adopted child. I’m more focused on connection and understanding behavior, and my partner is much more strict and consequences-focused. We keep arguing about discipline and routines, and honestly, it’s starting to hurt our relationship too. How do we stop fighting about parenting and work better together?

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Navigating special education can feel overwhelming—but you don’t have to do it alone. In this episode, we’re joined by Paula J. Yost, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, special education advocate, lawyer, educator, and author who breaks down IEPs, 504 plans, evaluations, and how to effectively advocate for your child.

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Question: My child is in upper elementary school, and we’ve been together for a while, but they still keep me at arm’s length. What are some concrete things I can do now to help build a more secure attachment?

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What should you consider when preparing to become a host family to a child who is eligible for international adoption? We talk with Misty Lucas, an International Program Director at Gladney Center for Adoption. 

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Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We’re more or less being told that if we don’t agree to an open adoption, we’ll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don’t want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I’m afraid that we’ll never get chosen if I say this.

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Parenting neurodiverse tweens and teens can feel overwhelming, especially when traditional parenting strategies don’t seem to work. In this episode, we talk with Carl Young and Joel Sheagren, co-authors of Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens, about practical, brain-based strategies to reduce conflict, support emotional regulation, strengthen connection, and navigate the hard seasons with more hope.

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Question: We’re getting close to adopting our foster child, and I keep worrying there are things we should be asking for before finalization that we don’t even know to request. What information or records should we make sure to get from the agency so we truly understand our child’s history and needs?

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Many parents raising adopted, foster, or kinship children feel like they’re carrying most of the parenting load alone. Talking about it and changing it can be hard. In this episode, Josh Davis, PhD, shares practical, non-blaming strategies to improve communication, build confidence, and create a stronger parenting partnership when raising kids from hard places. As Father's Day approaches, Josh also offers some downloads for Dads!

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Question: Our daughter is 11 months old and was adopted through an open adoption. We have a relationship with her birth mother, but don't yet feel it's the right moment to ask about family history, and her birth father is completely unknown to us. We do know that both birth parents are Hispanic, but beyond that, we have no additional information about her heritage or background. We want her to grow up with as rich a sense of her identity and heritage as possible. What guidance do adoption professionals offer...

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We talk a lot about the child’s experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child’s birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic.

In this episode, we discuss:

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Question: We’re new foster parents and have noticed that our child is hiding food in their backpack, closet, and even under the bed. We make sure there’s always plenty to eat, so we’re confused and a little concerned. Is this something we should be worried about? Why might they be doing this, and how should we respond in a way that helps them feel safe?

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Raising kids while caring for aging parents is more common than ever—and often overwhelming. We talk with Robyn Wind, the GRAND Voices Support Coordinator for the National Center on Grandfamilies at Generations United, about the realities of sandwich generation caregiving and practical ways foster, adoptive, and kinship families can find support. 

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Question: I’m in the process of adopting an infant and feeling overwhelmed by the paperwork. How do I get my child’s birth certificate and Social Security number after the adoption is finalized? What steps do I need to take, what documents are required, and how does this vary by state?

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Are you considering residential treatment for your adopted child? We speak with Daniel Hochstetler of Fair Play Camp in South Carolina about preparing our families for residential treatment, navigating the programs, and how to set our families up for success after treatment. 

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Question: The school thinks my foster son may have ADHD, but I know he’s been through a lot of trauma. How do I know what’s driving his behavior and how to advocate for the support he actually needs?

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What if families had support before a crisis led to foster care? In this episode, we talk with Dr. David Anderson, psychologist and founder and executive director of SAFE Families for Children, about a community-based model that helps keep children safe while supporting parents through difficult seasons. Dr. Anderson also serves as Executive Director of Lydia Home Association in Chicago and has been recognized as an Ashoka Fellow and Prime Movers Fellow.

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Question: We are seriously considering becoming foster parents.  We have 2 children by birth, and I am really worried about how this will affect them and what I can do to prevent some of the negative effects.

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Foster families are doing significant work to support both the children in their homes and the parents of those kids. What do they need to thrive in this work? We talk with Cathleen Bearse, a licensed therapist, foster mom, and the creator of Fearless Fostering. She supports foster and adoptive parents with practical tools, emotional guidance, and trauma-informed strategies with her real-life experiences and clinical expertise.

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Question: I’m new to raising my grandchild and still learning about trauma. People keep saying it changes a child’s brain, but I don’t really understand what that means. What does trauma actually do to the brain, and how does that show up in behavior at home or school?

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Have you considered fostering? What might be holding you back? Join us for a conversation with Laura, the Foster Parent Partner, to explore what it takes to be ready to foster, what the licensing and placement process looks like, and how to navigate relationships with the child's birth parents while providing a safe place for the child to land. Laura is the author of First Time Fostering and brings awareness and advocacy for foster families to social media spaces.

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