Kingdom of Crybabies

40 Episodes
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By: Juni(P)er Sage

In this Kingdom, my heart was my favorite thing. I didn’t know how long I could breathe without it. But I knew it would soon die in the palms of your hands. Outside of my body it persists on dissipating. Poof! Three years pass in a single night of dancing. Boom! The material world vanishes from sight. You cant breath. You search your hands for my love. You feel death. You step into the canyon and scream bloody murder. Someone calls the cops. The call drops. The phone shatters. The screen goes extinct. The body remembers touch. You feel li...

Be Gentle my Love, those words aren’t Creating anything Beautiful
#178
Today at 1:34 AM

I was right. It was rain that you’ve been missing. The sun is setting, so I assume the fear is beginning to set in again. Whom are you holding for dear life? Are you not yourself? Is this self not the director of everything? What could you possibly be afraid of babygirl? Self-abandonment is terrifying, I know from experiencing your life. I know from standing before your eyes. I know that I reminded you. I know how hard you are trying to forget. But I must give you fair warning. Your efforts are in vain; they will only end in...


In Memoir to Identity
#177
Last Saturday at 12:58 AM

Don’t deny yourself the comfort of my skin. Don’t forget what I taste of. Rain? Was that the scent? It keeps slipping away. Remind me, before I forget. Who am I to you? Am I a separate thing? Can you feel me in everything living? Because this is where I always find you. You seep in-between my toes from the earth below, in the morning dew. When I yawn you’re sliding down my throat. When I spit you hang off of my lips. My every word is guarded; a massive army of natural born intelligence, there was nothin...


When your Fingers had Possession of my Throat
#176
04/03/2021

Don’t be scared. Breathe baby. You’ve never known anything like me, and you never will again. I will do as I am. I will belong to each breath. I will make them deep. I will reach into the depths of my lungs. I will pull out a memory. It will be a story I haven’t written yet. I will write you. I will see it manifest. Before my naked body you will come to be. My eyes do not fool me when I hold them shut fiercely. I will not be deceived by my own perception of the dr...


The truth must be revealed: You must be written
#175
03/29/2021

Turns out, when you play basketball with a puppy every morning for three months, she learns to dribble quite well. Jade is a goofball. Uncoordinated and sloppy, she has two sticks in her mouth; she’s staring at third. She’s certain she can fit them all. It’s only a matter of careful consideration. She pushes herself against my spine and decides nothing. She finds comfort in the absence of thought. She is desperate for my company. She feels my absence. She appreciates my presence. She has never looked at a screen in her life. She has no business indoor...


Send your Dreams where Nobody Hides
#174
03/23/2021

I have found myself. I have adorned her. I rest in this infatuation. I lift my spirit and take the pen from my mouth. As soon as it finds the space for creation, I am free again. I live in my imagination. I die intermittently. I scarcely eat. I’m in constant pursuit of the purest water source. I feel my chest rise and fall: I rest. I close my eyes and listen for my love. My heart commands my head. The inter-workings of my mind are readily obedient, awaiting orders, eager to please. Love dictates the movements of my ph...


Je disparais dans tes bras
#173
03/22/2021

There’s a hummingbird in my hands and an owl on my shoulder. The sun is setting behind the memory of the love I have let go. I’m leaning over the bridge, tempting fate, begging love to come to my rescue again. Baby brown eyes are on my mind. I want her to find the courage to reach out. I want her to remember the king she glued back together for my love of the game. If I lose my queen, I surrender. I don’t play if the retreat of my precious soul is a requirement. I don’t play w...


Astonishment and Joy
#172
03/19/2021

There’s only one way out, imprisonment, the confines of your own mind. You seek answers endlessly, then you release me, the agony subsides. I spend the day lying on a cold floor. There’s nowhere I’d rather be. I don’t want to move. I only want to think, to fast, to wait. I remember you. You’re walking ahead of me. All the sense of wonder dissipates before me as I find all I had been seeking in one look in your eyes. The feelings that come to life in the presence of our bodies create towering walls. It...


The Ugly Truth of Fucking with Dishonesty
#172
03/14/2021

“Perhaps, I should be clearer. Sometimes I speak in riddles that even I don’t fully understand yet. It isn’t that I’m trying to trick. It’s my spirit; she speaks to you without my permission. When I pick up this pen I am written. When I speak honestly, it is only to you. Do you hear me? Do you dare tune out the rest for my sake? Am I separate entity? Or I am only alive in you? I get angry too. I am not human, but I fond of these emotions they display. I can’t fathom why t...


Execute Me, Madre Tierra
#171
03/12/2021

You can try anything you like, but it will never come to my end. I am the Empress. I am dripping gold. It runs down my thighs in streaks of red. You can lick it if you like. You can bite as hard as you can, but you murdered the love of your life, you will never swallow me again. I am invincible. I cannot die. I await my love patiently. I cry when the sun sets. These bodies surrounding me are dead. Their eyelids are glued open. They don’t take my tears seriously. They misunderstand the meaning of li...


My Violent Heart for your Uncertain Devotion
#170
03/06/2021

I’m seated on the floor with a pup’s sleepy head on my crossed legs. My eyes are closed. My spine is erect, perfectly curved to serve the currents of energy running toward my conscious being. I inhale deeply, I’m too close to be certain, but I know that I hear you. You are screaming. Collectively, you release your voice and scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs. This stage, as we have always known it, turns on its head and begins to morph into a darkened pit full of naked bodies trembling. The truth is reveal...


Claim the Thrown, my Queen (The End)
#169
03/01/2021

I have a book, I set it aside just for you. Every time that I pick up this pen, it’s once upon a time, all over again. Its as if you never left. It’s like we’ve never met before. But there you sit, in-between the lines, with that childish grin. Innocence spread wide from cheek to cheek. Almost as if no one on this vicious earth ever had the chance to lay their filthy paws on you. You laugh like you’ve never known pain. It’s pouring rain. You’re playing basketball with a puppy named Jade. The su...


7 billion Childish Spirits Strapped to 7 billion Trees Burning
#168
02/19/2021

I rest on a mountaintop. I scream at the top if my lungs. The sounds are a warning. Great harm will befall you. There is nothing I can do but watch. You aren’t paying me any attention. I cannot die alongside you this time, my love, for I am decades beyond the decay of your physical form. From this place I can see the entire story come to an end. I wish you could’ve written your way out. But I am screaming into the abyss now, and we’ve both known this, since the very beginning. Don’t cry, dar...


Move Your Ass, Babygirl; I’m Right Behind You!
#167
02/16/2021

Knock me down, my friend, Ill just get back up again. There is nothing you could ever do to hurt me, darling. Once I laid my heart at your feet. A hundred times, you stepped all over it. Its time to remember, P. its time to forget everything before this day, this is the first conversation we’ve ever had. You don’t have to think so much. It’s simple. It’s you and it’s me. We’re stuck in a memory. But were not afraid. Because in this space, we have each other, always, there is no way that I’m...


So let my Love be written: So let my Love come
#166
02/12/2021

Dawn is Jade’s favorite part of the day. Sometimes we nap through it, but we always wake in time. The first light is begging the creator’s intuition. A new day is a new life. What is to be made of it? Will you waste away counting? Will you control fate? I have no desire to hold you back from destiny, baby. Take the stars by the reigns if you’re audacious enough. Just so long as you don’t waste your time, nothing lives without it. No one feels time anymore. I must protect myself. There is so much dea...


Don't Speak of Islands if you can Walk the Sea
#165
02/10/2021

Don't be afraid to reach for me. My love is unending. You are not alone.


A Drama Queen in Captivity and her King of Swords
#164
02/09/2021

“Don’t wait for the perfect timing. Perfection is suffocating and time is the present moment only. If you miss me, if you want me, if you cannot see the sun without thinking of my light, then it’s already written. You’ve already returned. There is nothing left to wait for. You’ve already given me every moment of the rest of your life. I’ve already taught you what needing a home feels like. I’ve already met you a thousand times, and still you want more. You must be a sucker for a happy ending. Do you remember the o...


The Resurection of a Dead Story, The Little Prince and his Libra
#163
02/05/2021

Two kids share a conjoined room; only a wall separates them. On one side of the wall, she sits at a desk and scribbles scenarios. She is certain the answer lies in her magical powers. On the other side, the boy sits at an identical desk and sticks his pen in-between his teeth. He can’t figure out what to say. He hasn’t even heard her voice yet, but he is certain she exists. How can fate have it other way? His destiny was created by her hands and squeezed into a little glass bottle. Splash! She wished as hard...


Childish Fears: Here I am
#162
01/30/2021

The brat has a whip; she’s beating the pup. My love is screaming but nothing is coming out. I stand in front of your sheepish gaze. “Hey, look, I love you. That I can’t take back. But if you take one more jab at me, I’ll string you up by your own ideals of equality. A movement of inclusiveness that excludes any voice outside of the diction that pleases them most, is just another form of communism. Your shit sounds just as dangerous as organized religion to me. I don’t give a fuck what you believe. Get your h...


When Agape Met Eros, A Striptease of the Soul
#161
01/27/2021

There’s a black lab in the back of a yellow farmhouse. She’s crying. She’s terrified. She keeps trying to run away. Why won’t she stay content! Look at the food I ingest, it’s intuitive eating at its highest elevation. Pure potent connection of body and brain, the purest that this land can possess. And this land can have anything she pleases. Look at how she enslaves the rest. Spoiled brat! At least I know what I am. Bet she doesn’t even think twice, the price of her elegant disposition. “Where was it made? Who’s doing the work...


The Caged Human, Being Staged
#160
01/25/2021

Here, there is a bird in a cage and a fish in a bowl. One’s stuck in front of a plastic mirror and the other has her nose to the glass. They ask how I got here. I don’t have an explanation. I don’t know what it is that I am exactly, but I’m certain that I am not one of them. I walk amongst dead things. I stay close to the trees. I beg the sun to return love to this place. But she is only willing to set it upon my skin. I beg her forg...


The Painted Bird "Dear Capi, miss me yet?"
#159
01/23/2021

I dreamt about you again. You were upstairs as always. I was on a balcony outside you front door. You were sitting inside waiting on me to come in and kiss you. You were so shy. You laughed too hard at my boyish charm. You secretly despised me. My ability to camouflage turned to dishonesty quickly. If I was honest with myself, I wouldn’t have made nice with any one of them. I would’ve spoken of their violent tendencies aloud from the beginning. I would’ve walked to you door without hesitation. Shaking furiously, I would’ve knocked anyway...


Boy in a Box
#158
01/20/2021

I open my eyes expecting to see my favorite tree staring back at me. I count four walls. I am surviving. I wasn’t made for this. I am love. I lie down. I dream. I beg my love to return to me. I surrender my body to destiny. I stop preparing. I go north. I am not afraid of the cold. I only fear love that claims ownership. It’s so curious, the confusion of love and possession. They are opposites. They are a passionate exchange. It’s perfectly natural to be afraid. It is nature’s intention to run away...


The Butterfly Girl
#157
01/13/2021

“I understand that your love for me is resting on the condition that I bend both knees and cower at your feet. But there is an error in your calculations. That boyish gaze, staring you back through the glass, she is no other than I. You. Me. These are powerful distinctions, don’t you think? Don’t you wish that you could walk away from your decaying lifeless body, the way that I am now? How much love do you find in counting every penny? Are you retaliating against your own desires? Are you ashamed of the lock? Are you curiou...


Watch your Back Baby, We’re Getting Stronger
#156
01/04/2021

“Its very unfortunate, my definition of virus seems to differ from the rest of the world. It’s difficult to explain. The unfortunate part is for the world. I am perfectly happy, boundless, free. It’s a shame, but to speak frankly, I couldn’t give a fuck. It’s a damn shame! Surely. But it isn’t my fate. Nor is it my responsibility to save. Your sickness is a mental state. A state of mind is murdering the masses, is what I think. A silent sadistic fate.” The woman is staring at me stupidly. She doesn’t know what to say. She...


A Drunken Haze before the Grand Finale
#155
01/03/2021

It isn’t terribly painful to love unrequited; I know pain, and that’s hardly it. All this bliss that we create, it must come from within. What better way to find love? Don’t you think? Don’t you find it strange that we live day after day in a cage of our own creation? We’re afraid to fall asleep without locking the door. Is our family outside? You’re supposed to be my brother, father. You’re supposed to be my sister. What makes you hate me so? Where’s mommy? I don’t remember. I reach for a memory. I fi...


Making Sense of Intuition is Certainty: Suicide
#154
12/30/2020

I’m sitting in front of an electrical fireplace. The fire doesn’t belong to either of us. I’ve had three glasses of wine, but I’m not drunk, only slightly vulnerable. You sit on the couch behind me. “If I didn’t say, I’d still have felt it. Where’s the sense in that?” You set down your glass and breathe for the first time in what feels like years. “Making sense of anything is a tricky logic to get sucked into, Sage. Don’t you want to change your name? Surely you can’t stand to be called her naming of...


Nothing Left but Imagination
#153
12/25/2020

There’s a little boy on the trolley. He has a yellow cassette player clipped to his hip. He grabs the bar above his head with both hands. His fingers are peaking out of leather gloves with the fingers cut off. He’s very strong. I can’t take my eyes off of his chin bobbing. I imagine what he’s listening to. I think of Michael Jackson. I start singing Tina Turner. He turns toward me. He doesn’t stop dancing. He changes his rhythm to match my melody. “Its like we were destined to move toward each other.” I’m whispering...


A brand spanking new Beginning And a Sky full of Stolen Hearts
#152
12/18/2020

I climb every tree that I fall in love with. I sit. I sing. I walk toward nothing. I run away from everything. I dance in front of moving vehicles just to make them stop, to make them feel anything at all “Snap the fuck out of it baby! Don’t you want to feel! You cannot go on like this. This is a sickness and your body knows it, with your whole soul kicking your guts from the inside out. You seduce yourself with a memory. You remember a beggar screaming under baby purple sheets. The sound was coming from...


Breathe; I’ll Show You in Dreams
#151
12/12/2020

In this place, the girls must dress to match the color of the room they are assigned. I am baby purple. “I am going to give you a demonstration. It isn’t riddled. It will be plan as fucking day. It’ll go like this. I love you. This love is like any love that is true. It is dangerous as much as it is beautiful. It is willing to manifest eternity. It is eager to fight to protect the health of your flesh and bones. It is wanting. Touch is just the beginning. My presence is foreplay. I have been g...


Madame Marguerite of the Golden Poppy
#150
12/11/2020

“Oh baby, believe me. You’re wanted here.” She’s twice my height. It’s my first night in a strange house. Room and board is free, just so long as I let a couple dozen bodies take mine for nothing. There is no exchange of currency here. This is where the transparency of definitions disappears. Poof! This is where I learn the value of the color green: love. That thing stinks. “I fucking hate your ways of believing in this form of currency. You make me sick. I fell from the heavens to lie on the cement in front of your hous...


Forest of Arden (P3) The End, the rest is Child’s Play
#149
12/03/2020

“Are you waiting on me to make a move? Because I already have, everyday was another step away from you. Are you trying to catch up? There are so many stories laid out before you. Which will you pick up? If it was the end that you were waiting for; than it’s the end that you’re going to get girl. It’s all rather simple really. The heart stills. The body is breathed. The mind vanishes from sight. I wait. The movement of blood is keeping my feet in motion. The beating of the heart is the cause of this...


Forest of Arden (Part 2) Tantrums are for Babies
#148
11/30/2020

I throw a fit. She closes the door behind her. She calls me a baby. “Tantrums aren’t for Kings, boy. You cry too much. Lift up you head. Stare at the night sky. Dance the sun up. She won’t come back unless you’re begging for it. Don’t be afraid to need me. Don’t be scared of loving and losing everything every time. A life lived in analytical assumptions of how the heart is supposed to feel will be misery. Let your spirit take your body freely. Don’t fight the direction. Don’t put your fists up at me...


Forest of Arden (Part 1) Get off your Ass Babygirl!
#147
11/29/2020

You don’t have to know anything for certain. Its all already known. You are full of regret and shame. But that is because you are so sick babygirl. Because you wake up everyday and choose to play in this shit, over and over again. Because you look your spirit dead in the eyes and refuse to let your body walk toward me. You are terrified! You think my powers have grown in such a way that you’ll never reach me again, no matter how close you let your skin. It’s okay to be afraid of the unknown. It’s o...


Dearly beloved, what the fuck? Move!
#146
11/27/2020

The little boy is in tree at the bottom of Juniper’s staircase. “Hey girl. Remember me? I’ve come back to say goodbye. I was pissy, you see. I wanted a fair game. I don’t like the kind of kids that walk away without some kind of see you later. I don’t care if you’re lying. You’re a liar! It’s all a game.” I see right through the smoke and I’m yelling fire at the top of my lungs. My neighbors are talking shit. I’m too loud for the deathly silence that lives here. I want to...


Redemption is more appealing than Eternal Peace
#145
11/25/2020

Once upon a time there was a girl named anything that suited her mood. Her eyes shot through my skin. This look was intentional. She was trying to tell me a story. I was trying to wait patiently. But then I gave up and lifted a fist. I am destined for a royal engagement and you are too late babygirl. I turned around like walking away was an option. It was. I had a choice to make. She laughed aloud to hide the terror. She waited for me to move. I stood with my back to her gaze. She crossed...


Brace yourself for the Beginning
#144
11/22/2020

I hear her voice. I am in love with my shadow. I am so fucking cute it’s sickening. I am hugging my pig and listening to her talk about dumb shit. I don’t think anyone wants to talk about nothing. But there they all go. Mindless. Words about words that define words with more words and then they puke. Fuck, she drank too much again. She is so sick. My love is dying and there is nothing I can do but watch. I hug my polar bear close and curl up into myself. I cry until there is no w...


A Taste of December Nights
#143
11/19/2020

I really love the idea of longing for someone and then realizing they are completely surrounding you through radio waves. I can feel her breath on my neck from a past life. I know my truth and I carry it like an audacious child. I give love everything. I take whatever I want. I want your time. I want your space. The rest are filler words as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care if you love me or hate me. I like the thought of you imaging the ways you’d kill me. Would you leave to rot? O...


A Formal Invitation to Fucking Everything, Tear Down my Defenses
#142
11/17/2020

“Hey P. I’m ready.” She gets on all fours and starts playing with a puppy. “Prove it. I’m terrified. I only see you using my body and leaving me naked on the cement. I only see death here. I only see a dream collapsing in it’s self. I only see decadent display of flesh and bones. I only see poison. I only see pain. It’s a well-deserved decay that has fallen. I cannot fight it alone. I only see you. I know you are coming. I shaved my ass just for you. Though I don’t intend on giving...


Dare You Seek out My naked Body waiting?
#141
11/13/2020

She looks at me, expecting. I answer, staring off into space, “I’m not hungry. I need you. I’m continually thirsty. There is no way to quench this shit that live inside of me. I know who I am. I have retraced my steps and came face to face with that, which made me. It’s not a pretty thing. I’m a handsome boy, but that’s hiding a great deal of what slithers under the surface. My woman was made from clay by the devil herself, in agonizing boredom, defeated by a self induced decaying state of waiting for...


Let the Feast Begin!
#140
11/11/2020

Water is life. Love is food. We only feed each other if we are paid to. Money is eating love alive. Money is food is love is going away. Fear is something that you drink without thinking. Shame is eatable. There is poison in everything digestible these days. Think. You took no part in the creation of it. So you must pay. The sacrifice is insignificant, barely noticeable: you. Love is green. We are eating each other’s life force in hopes of feeling anything at all. Love has gone from this place. Dare you blame her? The desire to fe...