Whys & Finds

What to get twins or siblings so they don't fight over one gift?

Give two different gifts, one for each child, picked from what that child loves right now. Not one gift to share, and not two of the same thing.

Ellie and Ben look at a page on HealthyChildren.org, the American Academy of Pediatrics' site for parents, by pediatrician Shelly Vaziri Flais. It is about twins, and it says: "On birthdays and holidays, give each child distinctive presents." It also says: "Everybody, whether born as a twin or not, desires to be treated...

What makes a good first backpack for a toddler?

A good first backpack fits your toddler today, not next year. It is about the size of their back, the straps go short enough to hold it close, and it sits in the middle of their back, not down low.

Ellie and Ben talk about what "too big" looks like when you hold a bag against a toddler's back: it sticks out past their sides, hangs past their waist, or stays loose with the straps at the shortest setting.

They use a page on...

What Christmas gift can grandparents mail to a toddler who lives far away?

Mail one gift that arrives ready to give and matches what the child is into right now. From far away, start with the child, not with the toy.

Mississippi State University Extension, a university service for families, says in its guide on choosing toys: "When choosing toys for your child, it is necessary to consider the child's age." For 2-year-olds, the guide lists picture books, dolls and accessories, dress-up clothes, and large cardboard boxes.

Ellie and Ben talk about why...

Why do toddlers take their plush buddy to bed?

The buddy is one step of the bedtime routine, and the child picked it. It is the one thing that stays after the grown-up leaves the room.

Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, describes a routine of activities "that happen in the same order each night," from a bath and brushing teeth to "a cuddle and a kiss goodnight." The American Academy of Pediatrics says you may want to help your child choose a transitional object "and build it into...

What makes a gift memorable for a toddler?

A gift is memorable when it fits into something the child already does every day, and when a person they love is part of its story. A toddler who packs and unpacks everything will keep coming back to a gift that lets them do just that.

ZERO TO THREE, a U.S. nonprofit that works on early childhood, says: "We all know the feeling of buying a toy a child plays with for two days and never touches again." It also says that "toddlers love to take...

What is a good Christmas gift for a toddler who loves animals?

Start with the one animal this child loves, not animals in general. Then pick something they'll use every day, so that animal goes everywhere with them.

Ellie and Ben look at who the child is: their age, their favorite animal, and what they do every day. NAEYC, the National Association for the Education of Young Children, lists toys by age, but says to "keep in mind that each child develops at an individual pace." Its list for one-year-olds, under things to pretend with...

How much should a 2-year-old carry in a backpack?

Look at what goes in it, not only at the bag. Pack it the way they will carry it, put it on them and watch them walk.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has a page about school backpacks. It is written for school-age kids, and Ellie and Ben say so. It says: "Backpacks shouldn't weigh more than 15% of your child's body weight." The page gives no number for two-year-olds, so the hosts keep the idea, not the math. The sign is easier to use at home: "...

What should grandparents know when picking a gift for a toddler?

Find out what the child does every day right now, not just the age on the box or the picture. Ask the parents what the child likes to do, then pick something that fits into that day.

Ellie and Ben talk about buying blind: choosing from a photo and an age, and hoping. The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, says: "Developmental milestones are things most children (75% or more) can do by a certain age." Most, not all. An age tells you about...

What do you get a toddler who already has everything for Christmas?

Look at the child, not at the toy box. Pick something tied to what they love, that they can use on their own, and that has a job in their everyday life.

The CPSC, the U.S. product safety agency, says in its holiday gift tips to "choose toys that match each child's interests and abilities." Ellie and Ben turn that into three questions: what does this child love, what can they do by themselves right now, and what do they do every...

What should you know before a toddler's first flight?

Learn the security steps before you get to the airport, and give your toddler a small bag of their own. A snack, a drink, and their buddy: the toy they know and like to hold.

Ellie and Ben talk through what happens at security with a toddler. The TSA, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration, says it has "modified screening procedures for children who appear to be 12 years old and younger." Children 12 and under can keep their shoes, light jackets and headwear on, except that a...

What is a good screen-free Christmas gift for a toddler?

Pick something tied to what this child already loves, like a favorite animal. Then pick something a grown-up can play with them, face to face.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says: "Digital toys should never take the place of real, face-to-face play." Ellie and Ben talk about what that line says and what it doesn't. They go through the "traditional favorites" the AAP names: blocks, shapes and puzzles. The AAP also says to be careful with tablets, games and apps that promise to teach. In...

Why do toddlers love pretend play?

Toddlers pretend because they copy the people around them and try it at their own size. Give them a character they love, get down on the floor, and let them lead the story.

Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, says: "Your toddler learns by copying what others do – especially you or older children." ZERO TO THREE, a U.S. nonprofit that works on early childhood, says that in a child's third year "their creativity flourishes," and that toddlers "imagine that objects, like a bl...

Why are so many toddlers obsessed with dinosaurs?

A lot of young children pick one big topic and go all in, and dinosaurs are a common one. Your part is to follow the interest and let your child lead.

Researchers from the University of Virginia and two other universities surveyed and interviewed 177 parents and found that "nearly one third of young children have extremely intense interests." The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, says that in early childhood "their world will open up as they explore and ask about the things around them."

What should you pack for a toddler on a holiday road trip?

Pack a small bag of their own, together with them: a snack for the stops, a few light toys and their buddy, the cuddly toy they love. Everything else goes in the grown-up bags.

Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, says: "It's also good to involve your child in packing. This can get them interested and excited about the trip." Its page is written for travel by plane, bus or train; Ellie suggests using the packing part...

What do toddlers actually carry in their backpack?

A snack, a cup or a bottle, and one or two small things the child picked. The bag is for the child's own things, not for the whole day's supplies.

Ellie and Ben talk through what buyers wrote in their reviews. Snacks, toys and "little treasures" come up again and again. One buyer wrote: "He puts all of his snacks and toys when we go places in it!"

Mississippi State University Extension has backpack tips written for school-age kids. Two of them work for a...

What is a good birthday gift for a 2-year-old that they will actually use?

Pick a gift that fits into what a two-year-old already does every day, and make it about the one thing they love right now. Ask the parents first: what the child loves, and where they go together.

Ellie and Ben look at the CDC's page "Milestones by 2 Years." The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, explains that milestones are "things most children (75% or more) can do by a certain age." By 2 years, most children hold a container and take the...

What is a good lamp for a kid's room?

A good lamp for a kid's room stands on a dresser or a shelf near an outlet, sits steady, and comes with an LED bulb that stays cool to the touch. Check those things first, then pick a look the child will love.

Ellie and Ben go through three checks before you buy. Where the lamp will stand: find the outlet first, so no cord crosses the floor. How it stands: legs or a solid base, and the height. What comes with it: the bulb, the...

What to buy a dinosaur-obsessed toddler?

Start with what your toddler already does with dinosaurs every day. Pick a gift that joins one of those habits: acting out stories, carrying a dinosaur everywhere, or the same dinosaur book at story time.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says to match a toy to what the child can already do, with a little room to grow. The same page says: "A certain toy is not necessary for your child to reach his or her next developmental milestone." Ellie and Ben talk about why a gift that is...

What backpack should a 2-year-old take to daycare?

Pick a backpack she can carry in from the car, hang up and open herself, and one that holds what is on the daycare's list. At daycare she does all three from the very first morning.

Ellie and Ben look at the big backpack bought to grow into: in a big bag, the snack and the bottle drop to the bottom, and a two-year-old has to dig for them. They go through a page of backpack advice from Nemours KidsHealth. It is written for school kids, and...

What is a good Christmas gift for a 3-year-old niece or nephew?

Start from what this child is into right now, and pick something they can use every day. A gift tied to their favorite animal and to a real part of their day has a better chance of getting picked up again after the holidays.

The CPSC, the U.S. product safety agency, says in its holiday release to "choose toys that match each child's interests and abilities."

Ellie and Ben go through the questions an aunt or uncle can ask the...

How to set up a cozy reading corner in a kid's room?

Pick a quiet spot with room for two, put a few books where your kid can reach them, and add good light. Then set a time when you read there together.

The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, has a tip for parents of toddlers: "Set up a special time to read books with your toddler." Ellie and Ben talk about why the time matters as much as the furniture, how many books to put out, and why a handful can be...

Why do toddlers want everything their big brother or sister has?

A toddler watches the big kid a lot, so whatever the big kid has and does looks like the thing to have. Give the little one a thing or two of their own, and let each child keep a few things that are only theirs.

Ellie and Ben look at what Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, says. On family meals: "Watching you and their older siblings eating different kinds of healthy foods at family meals can encourage...

What is a good Christmas gift for a 3-year-old who loves dinosaurs?

Start from the dinosaur, not from a gift list. Pick something the child will do dinosaur things with every day: carry it, play out a story with it, or have it in their room.

Ellie and Ben talk about the generic gift: something cute for any toddler, chosen for an age and not for this child. ZERO TO THREE, a U.S. nonprofit that works on early childhood, names the feeling of "buying a toy a child plays with for two days and...

Why do toddlers get attached to one stuffed animal?

That one toy is soft, and it is familiar. Let your child keep it, and give it a plan for the places where it can't come along all day.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says these favorites "work, in part, because they feel good" and are "also effective because of familiarity." Ellie and Ben read what families wrote in our Amazon reviews about kids who carry their plush everywhere, and kids who would rather leave it on the bag.

For daycare, they go through...

What does a bedtime routine for a toddler look like?

A few small steps, in the same order, every night: pajamas, teeth, a book, a favorite blanket or stuffed animal, and the same goodnight words. Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, says a bedtime routine is "a series of calming activities that happen in the same order each night." The NHS, the UK's public health service, says to have "a calming, predictable bedtime routine" that includes "the same things every night."

Ellie and Ben go through how each piece...

What is a good Christmas gift for a 3-year-old girl who loves unicorns?

A unicorn gift she will use every day, chosen after you check three things: the real size in inches, what age it is made for, and what she actually does with her unicorns. The CPSC, the U.S. product safety agency, says to "choose toys that match each child's interests and abilities."

Ellie and Ben talk about buying blind: choosing a gift from a picture, then finding out it does not fit. They talk about what she does with her unicorns, why...

What backpack size is right for a 2-year-old?

Pick a backpack that fits her now, not one she will grow into. Measure her back, and check the bag's real size in inches.

Ellie and Ben each take a side. Ben argues for a bigger backpack that lasts. Ellie argues for a small one. They look at backpack advice from Mississippi State University Extension and Nemours KidsHealth. That advice is written for school-age kids, and they say so: they did not find guidance written for two-year-olds. They go through a simple fit check at home: a...

How do you get a toddler ready for the first day of daycare?

Visit the daycare together before the first day, practice the trip and the goodbye, pack a small bag with one familiar thing from home, and decide on a short goodbye that stays the same every day. Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, suggests spending time at the new place with your child before the separation.

Ellie and Ben walk through the days before the start: practice runs at the real time of day, telling your child...

What are good stocking stuffers for a toddler?

Small, simple things the child can hold, read or draw with: a little animal, a small book, large crayons and a coloring book. Before anything goes in, check three things: does it fit the stocking, does it fit the child's hands, and what age is it made for.

Ellie and Ben go through advice from public sources. The CPSC, the U.S. product safety agency, says to keep balls and toys with small parts away from children younger than three. The CDC says to encourage toddlers not...

Why does my toddler want to do everything by himself?

He is in the I-can-do-it-myself stage, and it shows up in shoes, zippers and carrying his own things. You can give him a few real jobs he can manage and keep your help for the rest.

The CDC, the U.S. public health agency, says the "terrible twos" is a term used to describe this stage "as toddlers begin to assert their independence." Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, says toddlers this age are "keen to do more things...

What are good dinosaur toys for a 3-year-old?

Pick by how your child plays. One big dinosaur friend that goes everywhere suits a kid who wants it with him all day. A set of small dinosaurs suits a kid who lines them up and makes up stories at home. The American Academy of Pediatrics says to match the toy to what the child can already do, with a little room to grow, and that no single toy is needed for the next developmental milestone. The AAP also says to avoid toys with button batteries or high-powered magnets.<...

What can grandparents give a toddler for Christmas?

Pick something tied to what the child loves right now, sized for the child as they are today, and ready to give the moment it arrives. Then add time: a book you read together or a game you play on the floor during a visit.

Ellie and Ben talk about buying blind: choosing from a picture and the age on the box, then missing on size. The CPSC, the U.S. product safety agency, says to choose toys that match each child's interests and abilities. ZERO TO...

What is a good unicorn gift for a three-year-old girl?

Pick a unicorn she can take with her, sized for a three-year-old. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its report on choosing toys for young children, says to match the toy to what the child can already do, with a little room to grow. The AAP also says to avoid toys with button batteries or high-powered magnets, and to be careful with toys and apps that promise to teach.

Ellie and Ben talk about why buying from a photo and the age on the box...

What is a good birthday gift for a 2-year-old boy who loves dinosaurs?

Start with the dinosaur he loves: one he can hold, carry and use by himself, sized for him, with nothing to charge or set up. Before you buy, check how it is made: what it is made of and what it was tested to.

Ellie and Ben start with the American Academy of Pediatrics report on choosing toys for young children: match the toy to what the child can already do, with a little room to grow. The AAP says to avoid...

What is a good Christmas gift for a two-year-old?

Pick a simple toy the child plays with, not one that plays for them, and tie it to something the child already loves. ZERO TO THREE says: "The more a toy does, the less your child has to do." The CDC tells parents of toddlers to encourage pretend play. And the American Academy of Pediatrics says a certain toy is not necessary for a child to reach the next milestone, so there is no must-have gift.

Ellie and Ben follow a gift from the store to...

What toy should a two-year-old girl take with her when she starts daycare?

A soft toy she loves can become part of a short goodbye that looks the same every morning. The American Academy of Pediatrics calls these favorite things transitional objects and says there is no reason to keep a child from using one. If she does not have one yet, you may want to help her choose one, and let her give it a name.

Ellie and Ben go through pediatrician Wendy Sue Swanson's drop-off tips: a quick goodbye ritual with a special...