Between the Ears Podcast

In this episode, Arnold Beekes takes up responsibility, which links back to the starting point he shared a few episodes ago: you are good enough, and it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility. He lays out four ways to deal with it. First, you can accept responsibility for your well-being or refuse it, and refusing means “I’m a victim, it’s just the way I am.” Second, if you refuse, you become a pinball of other people and circumstances, your problems remain, and you feed a need for significance and attention. Fear often stops people from accep...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what are you most excited about lately? It can be small, moderate or big, as long as it excites you. He admits it isn’t an easy question, because we’re used to negatively framed ones like what frustrates you or what you hate. He invites you to write your answer down, since it may surprise you, and to keep asking yourself regularly, because it says a lot about you. The quote is from Osho and ties to responsibility, which Arnold will discuss in episode 34. Osho says that if one is m...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes starts with a simple question: if you go out to a restaurant, where do you go and what do you eat? He won’t say what the answer means, but he believes it says something about you and how you deal with certainty and uncertainty, so it’s worth thinking about. The quote for this episode is “People who have nothing interesting to share often resort to complaining and criticizing.” Arnold points to social media, where most people criticize what others do, saying they would have done it differently or complaining about th...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes shares what he calls a first aid kit for your brain fitness, for days when your mood is low, your energy is gone and everything feels negative. You don’t have to do it all. He invites you to pick one or two items and apply them today, then try another on another day. The list: stop watching or reading the news and learn something instead, since you miss nothing and most of it is built to create fear; stop meeting toxic people and connect with inspiring ones, even if only through their writing or...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes talks about attention as one of the most valuable currencies we have. Where your attention goes, your energy flows, and he argues that far too much of it is triggered by fear. Fear puts you in survival mode, fight or flight, and in that state you can’t be creative, find good solutions or get real insights, because great ideas need a relaxed mind. Arnold, who was born in the Netherlands and now lives in Paraguay, points out there are no tigers around, yet fear is still the main tool for grabbing attention. In hi...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes asks a simple question: what are you curious about? He points out that most of us were taught the opposite, with “curiosity killed the cat” as the classic example, and that school often rewards memorizing over real learning. If you were interested in pigeons, trees or the language of dolphins, you were told it was a waste of time. Arnold says curiosity is one of the most important parts of a healthy brain, a tool, a method and a way of being. Because many of us suppress curiosity the same way we suppress emotions, he a...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes contrasts two fundamentally different ways of living: from the outside in, where you're constantly reacting to what other people say, what you consume, and what the world throws at you — versus from the inside out, where you start with what you notice and feel internally, and respond to the world from there. He makes the case that outside-in living means living someone else's life, always shaped by external triggers, while inside-out living means actually living your own. Arnold gets specific about how distraction functions as avoidance — the movies, the drinking, the endless scrolling we reac...

In this question-and-quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks a question that sounds poetic but is meant literally: what does your heart say? He points back to the idea of our three brains — head, heart, and gut — and explains that the heart brain genuinely communicates, not in a voice others can hear, but in one you can learn to hear yourself, with attention and appreciation. He pairs it with an old Zen saying: "When you walk, walk. When you eat, eat. When you sit, sit." Simple on the surface, but genuinely hard in a world where we're rarely doing just one thin...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes challenges the mechanistic way we're taught to see ourselves — as a collection of separate parts that doctors and schools treat individually, rather than as a genuinely interconnected whole. He introduces his framework, which he calls MESPAS-X, covering seven layers: Mental (thoughts and beliefs), Emotional (signals from the body pointing to unmet needs), Spiritual (our energy and sense of interconnectedness as electromagnetic beings), Physical (sleep, nutrition, exercise, and the visible tip of the iceberg — our words and actions), Environmental (the two-way relationship between our surroundings and our behavior, including Benjamin Hardy's point that no amount of w...

In this question-and-quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks a question that cuts deeper than it first sounds: what are you unwilling to feel? He draws a careful distinction from simple suppression — this isn't about emotions you don't even know you're avoiding, but ones you already know are there, deep down, that you're actively choosing not to sit with. He gives two grounded examples: knowing your work has stopped challenging you and you want something different, but refusing to feel that because of the mortgage and the kids' university fees standing in the way; and a 20-year friendship that's turned into co...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes explains mirror neurons — brain cells that fire both when you take an action and when you simply watch someone else take that same action — and why understanding this changes how you should think about your own mental practices. Because the brain doesn't fully distinguish between lived, observed, and imagined experience, holding an image of yourself as healthy or capable can genuinely trigger the same neural response as actually living it. But Arnold is careful to flag what most self-help advice leaves out: it's not enough to just picture or say something, you have to feel...

In this question-and-quote episode, Arnold Beekes tackles a question many people instinctively label selfish: how am I loving myself? He makes the case that self-love isn't ego or self-interest — it's the actual precondition for loving anyone or anything else, since a self-critical inner state directly shapes the outer reality you attract. He argues this is something to practice daily, not something to arrive at once and forget, since the inner critic most of us have built up over a lifetime doesn't disappear on its own. He pairs it with a sobering quote: "The longer you allow yourself to be da...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes unpacks a striking piece of psychology history: an article by Scott Barry Kaufman revealing that Abraham Maslow — the famous psychologist behind the pyramid of needs — wrote a chapter back in 1969 concluding that a substantial portion of how happy you are comes down to the luck of your genetic draw, and then chose never to publish it, fearing the implications. Arnold argues that suppressing this finding for over 50 years has quietly caused enormous suffering, leaving countless people to believe there's something wrong with them for not being as happy as everyone around them, despite doing all...

In this question-and-quote episode, Arnold Beekes challenges groupthink head-on — the pressure to quietly change your own opinion just to fit in, avoid looking weird, or avoid being the exception. He asks: what do you believe that other people would think is insane, and dares you to hold onto it rather than conform. He shares his own example — a belief that we live in a simulated reality, an idea David Icke was mocked for over 20 years ago that now has growing scientific support behind it. His point: looking insane at first doesn't mean you're wrong, it might just mean you were...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes makes the case that "everydayness" — showing up daily, not just occasionally — is the actual hallmark of excellence in any domain, whether that's music, sport, nursing, or building a better world. He pushes back on the excuse of being too busy, arguing that anyone excellent at anything got there through consistent daily practice, never once-a-week effort. He connects this directly to the modern distraction problem: smartphones and social media offering constant, fear-based content that pulls people into comparing themselves to others, which actively works against the discipline everydayness requires. Arnold offers three simple daily practices: lear...

In this short question-and-quote episode, Arnold Beekes poses a single question: what makes you cry — and not just full tears, but burning ones too? He reflects on experiencing burning tears daily lately, and offers a reframe: tears, whether from sadness, beauty, love, loss, or meaning, are signs from the heart asking you to pay attention to what's been suppressed for far too long. He pairs it with a quote from Albert Camus — "Men must live and create, live to the point of tears" — meaning to live so fully and honestly that life moves you into awe, joy, heartbreak, and gratit...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes explores language as what he calls an invisible straitjacket — something almost nobody recognizes as a limitation, yet it shapes and restricts nearly every connection we try to make with each other. He walks through why: the sheer number of mother tongues across the world, the fact that even speaking seven languages himself (he's currently learning Spanish, his seventh) still leaves him limited in certain conversations, and how communication breaks down even between people who share a language, let alone across a genuinely global world. Arnold introduces Marshall Rosenberg's framework of Nonviolent Communication — observation, feeling, need...

In this Q&Q episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes asks a question that sounds simple but reveals just how rarely we actually experience it — and then makes a compelling case for why boredom might be one of the most underrated tools you have. Another sharp, thought-provoking episode that is over before you know it.

The Question

When do you feel that you are fully present?

In this episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes completes his fundamentals series with four more brain fitness basics — covering your body, your social life, your environment and the humility to keep learning. Together with the previous episode, these eight basics form a complete daily framework for a better life between the ears. Plus a beautiful story of one man's 10-year mission to transform an old railroad bridge into something extraordinary.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

In this Q&Q episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes asks a deceptively simple question that most people never stop to answer honestly — and follows it with a quote that draws a sharp line between two very different ways of living. Short, direct and worth sitting with.

The Question

What do you need now?

Hello and welcome, I'm Arnold Beekes and I enable you to have a better life between the ears. Because, why is that relevant? Because your inner state creates your outer reality. Today we are going to discuss some basics of brain fitness and these are really, really important and if you want to improve your brain fitness, I suggest that you pay a lot of attention to them and you apply them, preferably daily into your schedule.

Number one is full feeling. What does that mean? Is that you don't try to suppress your feelings, b...

In this Q&Q episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes asks one of the most underrated questions you can ask yourself — and then delivers a quote that reframes addiction in a way that might just change how you see your own habits. Short, sharp and thought-provoking as always.

The Question

What do you do effortlessly?

In this episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes makes a case that most of us have been taught to ignore our most powerful operating system — our emotions. From suppressed feelings showing up as back pain, to fear being weaponised by media and governments, to the Nobel Prize-winning insight that we are feeling machines that think — this is a conversation that reframes everything.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

In this Q&Q episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes cuts straight to the point with one powerful question and one memorable quote. No fluff, no filler — just the kind of thinking that makes you stop, look in the mirror and ask yourself what you've been holding back.

The Question

What would you like to do, but you don't do because you are afraid of other people's opinions?

In this episode of Between the Ears, Arnold Beekes continues his series on the principles of brain fitness, adding three powerful new ones to the framework. From practicing integrally to nurturing your right hemisphere and unleashing your uniqueness — this is a practical, no-nonsense guide to doing the real inner work. Plus, a beautifully grounding example of everyday beauty from Uganda.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Welcome to Episode 9 of Between The Ears, host Arnold Beekes' Q&Q format designed to help listeners unlock and use their own uniqueness. This episode's question asks listeners to identify one health-related habit, whether it's food, drink, sleep, or even the people they spend time with daily, that they'd like to change, starting small rather than aiming for a big overhaul. Arnold pairs it with a quote on the danger of comparison: "If you care what other people think, you will become the same. You will never raise beyond," unpacking how constant comparison, especially through social media, caps us...

Welcome to Episode 8 of Between The Ears. In the first half of a two-part series, host Arnold Beekes shares three foundational principles for taking ownership of your brain and improving your brain fitness. Arnold makes the case for genuinely thinking for yourself rather than memorizing and adopting the opinions of teachers, religious leaders, doctors, or bosses; approaching life with a beginner's mind so you notice what familiarity has trained you to overlook; and learning to see beauty in small, everyday moments rather than only in rare, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. The episode closes with the show's signature segment on everyday beauty...

Welcome to Episode 7 of Between The Ears, the first in host Arnold Beekes' new Q&Q format: a question and a quote designed to help listeners unlock and use their own uniqueness. This episode's question invites listeners to sit with what they truly need to feel safe, whether mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, or otherwise, and to take real time (a few days, or the weekend) to reflect rather than answer immediately. Arnold pairs it with his own quote: "Your life starts when you stop copying others," challenging the habit, reinforced by school and social media alike, of measuring ourselves...

Welcome to Episode 6 of Between The Ears. Host Arnold Beekes explores what he calls "mental dis-ease" rather than mental illness, rejecting the idea that most people struggling with anxiety, depression, or stress have something medically wrong with them. Instead, Arnold walks through four factors he sees as the root causes: the stress of living two lives (meeting others' expectations versus living authentically), a fear-based societal environment amplified by media and corruption, heavy smartphone and social media use, and reduced sunlight exposure. The episode closes with the show's signature segment on everyday beauty, featuring a Canadian woman's story of rescuing...

Welcome to Episode 5 of Between The Ears. Host Arnold Beekes lays out three foundational starting points for making brain fitness a daily habit, just as most people already do with physical fitness. Arnold defines brain fitness as choosing your uniqueness, learning continuously, handling challenges well, and contributing to a better world for all, and walks through why so many people struggle with this given rising rates of anxiety, stress, and burnout. He covers why your current state isn't your fault but is your responsibility, introduces the idea that we function with three brains (head, heart, and gut) rather than...

Welcome to Episode 4 of Between The Ears. Host Arnold Beekes explores why uniqueness matters and why our systems, from education to capitalism, work to suppress it in favor of predictable sameness. Arnold breaks down why copying someone else's "successful" method rarely works, walking through why trying to replicate someone else's results can leave you capped at a fraction of their success, and shares Scott Adams' alternative: rather than chasing being the best at one thing, become very good at two or more things and combine them. The episode closes with the show's signature segment on everyday beauty, featuring the...

Welcome to Episode 3 of Between The Ears. Host Arnold Beekes tackles the topic of identity, exploring why so many of us mistake our roles, labels, and job titles for who we actually are, and how that mistaken identity quietly limits us. Arnold draws on real examples, from people who lose their sense of self after being laid off, to a group of refugees in Uganda who introduced themselves by that label alone, to show how easily we box ourselves in with words like "I'm a nurse," "I'm a Christian," or "I'm a refugee." The episode closes with the show's...

Welcome to Episode 2 of Between The Ears. Host Arnold Beekes explores why so many of us carry the persistent feeling of not being good enough, tracing it back to how conformity gets enforced through conditional love and approval, from parents and teachers to bosses and friends. Arnold breaks down why this feeling is a tool, not a truth, and makes the case for recognizing it, rejecting it, and finally accepting that you are already good enough exactly as you are. The episode closes with the show's signature segment on everyday beauty, featuring a story of neighborly kindness during a...

Are you living your own life, or someone else's? In this debut episode of Between The Ears, host Arnold Beekes explores how from childhood onward, we're trained to meet the expectations of parents, teachers, and eventually bosses, until "being good" simply means doing what someone else wants. Arnold explains why living two lives at once, someone else's during work hours and your own in the evenings and weekends, is a major source of chronic stress, and why that stress can eventually show up as back pain, burnout, or depression. He invites listeners to start looking inward instead of outward...