Not So Chic

They said college would be the best four years of my life. Personally, I think that's a pretty aggressive promise to make to an 18-year-old who doesn't know how to do laundry.

This week, we're unpacking the college experience: freshman-year existential crises, questionable friendships, homesickness, social anxiety, and the desperate attempt to convince everyone on Instagram that you're having the time of your life. Nothing says personal growth quite like crying in your dorm room and posting a photo dump an hour later.

From feeling completely out of place to having the time of my...

For the girls who have somehow become the unpaid therapists, emotional support animals, and crisis management departments of everyone in their lives, this one's for you.

This week, we're talking about emotional exhaustion, protecting your energy, and the very inconvenient realization that you cannot fix everyone's problems. From absorbing other people's bad moods to feeling guilty for having absolutely nothing left to give, we're unpacking the difference between having a big heart and having unlimited capacity.

Because being a good friend doesn't mean being available 24/7, setting boundaries doesn't make you selfish, and sometimes the most...

Apparently, the reason I need 47 verbal affirmations that someone still likes me isn't because I'm a hopeless romantic. It's my attachment style. How chic!

This week, we're unpacking the four attachment styles, why some of us chase people who pull away, why emotional availability can feel suspiciously boring, and the deeply humbling realization that sometimes we're the ones making dating complicated.

I'm also putting my own attachment issues under a microscope, because nothing says personal growth quite like realizing you've been conducting psychological experiments on men who didn't consent to participate.

Consider this...

I have trust issues. With men, friendships, my own decisions, and quite frankly, the universe's ability to follow a schedule.

This week on Not So Chic, we're discussing the deeply inconvenient reality that life does not come with a detailed itinerary, a return policy, or a customer service representative.

From being the girl who was never quite in the group chat to convincing myself a man was my future husband when he couldn't even commit to dinner plans, I'm unpacking how disappointment, rejection, and a few questionable characters have turned me into someone who is c...

I have spent an embarrassing amount of my life trying to become the kind of woman who walks into a room and commands attention. Meanwhile, I’m 23 years old, still occasionally forget how to operate my limbs in public, and somehow had more confidence at 13 with a mouth full of braces. Explain that one.

This week, we're talking confidence. Not the kind that requires perfect hair, a fabulous body, or the approval of every man within a five-mile radius. The kind that comes from actually liking yourself, even when nobody else is around to validate it.

...

I have spent an embarrassing amount of my life trying to become the kind of woman who walks into a room and commands attention. Meanwhile, I’m 23 years old, still occasionally forget how to operate my limbs in public, and somehow had more confidence at 13 with a mouth full of braces. Explain that one.

This week, we're talking confidence. Not the kind that requires perfect hair, a fabulous body, or the approval of every man within a five-mile radius. The kind that comes from actually liking yourself, even when nobody else is around to validate it.

...

Have you ever seen an Instagram Story of people hanging out without you and suddenly decided you have no friends, everyone secretly hates you, and you should probably move to a new city? Same!

This week, we’re talking about being left out: the group chats you’re not in, the dinners you weren’t invited to, and the deeply humbling experience of zooming into the reflection of a martini glass to figure out who else was there. I’m also telling the story of the time my friends made an entirely new version of our group chat wit...

I've spent approximately 23 years being my own biggest hater, and I fear it's time for a rebrand.

This week, we're talking about self-compassion, otherwise known as treating yourself with the same kindness you extend to literally everyone else. From accidentally dropping my baby cousin at nine years old to waking up half-naked with McDonald's chicken nuggets in my cleavage, we're unpacking the difference between holding yourself accountable and putting yourself on trial for every mistake you've ever made.

I'm also reading a letter I wrote to myself at 19 during one of the hardest periods of...

Apparently, you don't need a boyfriend to go through a breakup. Who knew?

This week, we're discussing the seven stages of heartbreak, the particular psychological warfare of ending a situationship, and the deeply humbling experience of grieving a future that existed entirely in your head. From convincing yourself that an Instagram story view means he's coming back to drafting your seventeenth final text, we're getting into all of it.

I'm sharing what I've learned about choosing yourself when it's the last thing you want to do, why closure might be a scam, and how to...

For most of my life, I thought everyone was counting their shampoo pumps, strategically positioning their bedroom door, Googling every bodily sensation and occasionally convincing themselves that if something wasn’t just right, they might die in their sleep.

Apparently, we were not all doing that.

This week, we’re talking about OCD: the intrusive thoughts, compulsions, reassurance seeking, rumination and desperate pursuit of certainty that I didn’t even realize were running my life until I was 19. I’m sharing some of my strangest childhood rituals, the moment I finally understood my own brain, what ERP...

Being single is not a problem I’m currently trying to solve.

This week, we’re talking about how to actually enjoy being single without swearing off love, pretending you never get lonely, or treating every man you meet like a potential husband. From awful Hinge dates and imaginary perfect boyfriends to protecting your friendships, romanticizing your own life, and realizing that being chosen was never really the goal.

Maybe I’ll fall madly in love one day. I hope I do. But I’m not spending the years before that happens waiting for my life to...

Shame is the voice that turns “I embarrassed myself” into “I’m embarrassing,” “they didn’t text me back” into “I’m unlovable,” and one slightly questionable social interaction into a seven-year recurring thought before bed.

This week, we’re talking about shame: where it comes from, why it thrives in secrecy, the difference between shame and guilt, perfectionism as shame management, vulnerability hangovers, people-pleasing, body image, and the exhausting experience of constantly imagining yourself through everyone else’s eyes.

I’m also sharing some of my own greatest hits in shame—including accidentally lying to my dentist about my entire...

I’ve spent most of my life romanticizing everything—relationships, friendships, college, moving to a new city, rainy days, heartbreak… you name it. And while I don’t ever want to stop finding magic in ordinary life, I’m starting to realize there’s a difference between romanticizing your life and becoming attached to a version of it that only exists in your head.

This week, we’re talking about the stories we write for ourselves, why situationships can sometimes hurt more than actual relationships, grieving potential instead of people, and what happens when reality doesn’t follow the scrip...

I’ve referenced the fact that I didn’t go to my high school graduation before, but I’ve never actually told you the full story of why.

My senior year ended with an anonymous Instagram account, a “worst friend” superlative, hundreds of my classmates watching the whole thing unfold, a meeting with my principal, my parents pulling me out of school, and ultimately, me not walking at graduation.

And somehow, six baby bunnies also almost get burned alive in the middle of all of this. You genuinely cannot make this shit up.

But undern...

Grief is one of those things I’ve always been scared to talk about because there’s no perfect way to put it into words. But after losing my grandfather almost two years ago, I’ve realized just how little we actually talk about what it feels like to lose someone you love.

In this episode, I’m opening up about my own experiences with loss, being with my Papa during his final moments, and everything grief has taught me since. I talk about the guilt, loneliness, and strange little moments no one prepares you for—like watching t...

The internet has never been more powerful—or more confusing. Every day we're bombarded with advice, opinions, AI-generated content, perfectly curated lives, and an endless stream of people telling us how to think, look, work, eat, and live.

In this episode, I'm unpacking my complicated relationship with social media, why comparison has become an impossible game to win, why I believe digital literacy is just as important as financial literacy, and why the thing that scares me most isn't artificial intelligence—it's losing our ability to think for ourselves.

Because the question isn't whether technology is g...

I spent years thinking I was behind. Behind on dating, behind on sex, behind on experience. So I tried to become the kind of girl who could do casual hookups without catching feelings… and completely lost myself in the process. Today we're talking about hookup culture, why so many of us confuse validation with intimacy, and the biggest lesson I've learned: there is nothing chic about abandoning yourself just to fit in. Plus, one of the most humiliating hookup stories of my life, Chic of the Week, Not So Chic, and Guest Therapy.

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This week we're talking about one of the most unserious—and strangely revealing—parts of modern dating: the ick.

From men chasing ping pong balls to wearing Band-Aids, we've all experienced those completely irrational moments where attraction disappears in an instant. But what if the ick isn't always about them? What if sometimes it's about what closeness, kindness, or emotional availability brings up in us?

In this episode, I'm unpacking the difference between an ick and a red flag, why I seem to get the ick from genuinely nice guys, how chasing can feel safer than re...

Comparison has a way of making us feel like everyone else is ahead. In today's episode, we're talking about why we compare ourselves, the difference between comparison and jealousy, how to genuinely celebrate other people's success, and why your timeline was never meant to look like anyone else's.

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Apparently being a big sister became my entire personality. This week we're talking about siblings, the people who become siblings, why I spent 23 years trying to save my little sister, and what happens when the caretaker finally learns to let go. Plus, Guest Therapy for anyone convinced they're behind in life.

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For years I thought confidence came from fitting in. Dressing like everyone else. Dating the "right" people. Chasing validation from strangers, boys, and anyone willing to tell me I was enough.

Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong.

In this episode, I'm talking about the biggest shift I've made over the last few years: learning how to live a life that's actually aligned with my values instead of everyone else's expectations. From outpatient therapy and value sorting to dressing for myself, dating authentically, and finally letting my inner child have a seat at the...

I've been called an "old soul" for as long as I can remember, but for years it felt less like a compliment and more like a reminder that I never quite fit in.

In this episode, I'm talking about what it was like growing up feeling different—being the kid who wanted tea at The Peninsula, spent recess in knitting club, obsessed over interior design before most people cared about decorating their bedrooms, and always seemed a few steps ahead emotionally. I share how being deeply observant shaped my friendships, dating life, career, and mental health, and wh...

Body image isn't always self-hatred. Sometimes it's just constantly being aware of your body.

In this episode, I share my experience with body image from ballet classes and dieting in middle school to gaining weight in college, losing it after graduation, and learning how to stop fighting myself every day. We talk about comparison, food noise, body neutrality, and why taking care of your body feels very different than trying to punish it.

This isn't an episode about weight loss. It's an episode about making peace with yourself.

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In this episode, I'm talking about dating, situationships, heartbreak, and learning how to be okay on my own. From my first kiss in Rome to college experiences that completely changed the way I viewed relationships, I share the stories that shaped my relationship with love, self-worth, and dating.

We talk about rejection, healing, standards, and why being single no longer feels like something I'm waiting to escape.

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Friendship breakups don’t get talked about enough. In this episode, I’m unpacking the pain of outgrowing people, the heartbreak of feeling misunderstood, and why friendships can feel so complicated in your twenties. I talk about trust, people-pleasing, learning to ask for what you need, and the quiet grief of realizing some people may not be your people after all. But more than anything, this episode is about the friendships that do feel safe — the ones where you show up with nothing to prove and are loved exactly as you are. 

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In this episode, I’m talking about the summer that completely changed my life. After years of struggling with my mental health, convincing myself I was fine, and learning how to cope instead of heal, I finally got a level of help I didn’t think I “deserved.”

I share what led me to outpatient treatment, what it actually looked like, and how I began to understand the difference between surviving, coping, and truly healing. This episode is honest, vulnerable, and a reminder that you don’t have to wait until things are “bad enough” to ask for help.

In this episode, I’m talking about the kind of loneliness where you technically have friends, but never feel like you fully belong.

I open up about being the “floater friend” in high school, feeling invited but not chosen, and how that quiet hurt followed me into adulthood.

This one is for anyone who has ever felt outside of the group chat, the group photo, or the friend group entirely. You’re not alone.

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You know the chic version of me, now meet the not so chic one. In my very first episode, I’m reintroducing myself beyond the polished online version and sharing how lonely college GRWMs, viral TikToks, dating chaos, and my lifelong need to romanticize absolutely everything somehow led me here.

This episode is a little intro, a little unraveling, and the official start of the Not So Chic Club. For anyone who feels deeply, spirals occasionally, and is trying to make life feel beautiful anyway.

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In this episode of Not So Chic, I’m talking about the weird guilt of feeling calm in your early 20s, living at home, not going out every weekend, watching everyone else’s life look louder online, and wondering if I should be doing more. I get into the difference between peace and complacency, post-grad comparison, FOMO, trusting your gut, and why a quiet season might actually be the thing that saves you. Plus, this week’s Guest Therapy is about a situationship that feels like a relationship in private but a secret in public. Maybe I’m not behind. M...

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