What would Brian Bevan say
CHICKEN
Following Wire’s exit from the Challenge Cup, the podcast turns to physics with an equation of mass over density. Dennis returns from a trip to a 24ft chalky shaft, Sam serves up chicken and one-and-a-half portions of Laydell soup and Rob reveals he has absolutely no core strength whatsoever amd has his rant edited out of the episode. Plus, is Tyrone May the answer to the Captain’s Challenge? Daniel goes from 3 to 2 in a desperate attempt to stretch out his soundbites and over at the sitcom, we’re off to the job centre. Enjoy.
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VEAL SUBSTITUTE
As Wire mastermind a victory over the pie eaters, the podcast takes a closer look at whether Warrington’s pegs are in the correct order. With Mrs Sankey away, Sam finally finds time for a decent shitistic and looks set to be podcast employee of the week, before his betting scam. Dennis couldn’t care less about the international game and tells a gruesome story about a matador, while Rob suffers an injury on a B&Q equivalent travelator, before looking at the letters behind Daniel’s player countdown. Plus, the sitcom ends up with green fingers. Enjoy.
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THE DESPERATE BELLY DANCER
With Sidekick Steve’s move to Hull now confirmed, we ask the question Stuart Pyke forgot to ask… has his effect on the team already worn off? Meanwhile, Dennis becomes a granddad, Sam pauses longer than a captain’s challenge and Rob would prefer it up the arse than a poke in the eye. Plus, there’s a Tony Meo colour clash, a close encounter of the HJ kind and Daniel continues his player countdown from 30 to 1. Enjoy.
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BEFORE AND AFTER BREAKFAST POST CONTACT SHIT METRES
Time to review not one, not two, but three Warrington matches. Yes.... the podcast returns following its Easter break, with Dennis saving fuel but still touching a UFO, Sam actually enjoying a game & due to sobriety, pays Fitzy a compliment and Rob reminisces about an AIDS scare in Croatia whilst courting Elaine from Doncaster. Plus, Daniel’s back with his player countdown and the sitcom, thanks to some excellent script writing, lives on, despite nearly being cancelled. Enjoy.
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THIS WOMAN'S WORK
It’s four from four… so has there ever been a more positive year of What Would Brian Bevan Say podcast podding? Yes, sit back and relax in the company of Sam’s completely made-up but confident shitistics, Dennis’ techno tackle gags and Rob’s micro penis. Plus, there’s a crucifixion on the sitcom and Daniel returns with more of his player countdown. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan
THE GOOGLED SEASON OF ATTRITION
Will you have the attrition to make it through the episode? Yes a new low, even by WhatBevan standards. Firstly Sam’s shitistics come with no numbers whatsoever, then Dennis flogs tenuous film star gags and finally Rob takes the lead at Crufts. Enjoy.... oh and become a patron at www.patreon.com/whatbevan
COME DINE WITH ME
Following two solid wins, the podcast delves into why Wire’s performances have improved. Could it be the new communal dining experience, or perhaps the Halliwell Jones lightshow as it continues to affect the neurodiverse fan base? Either way, buy your ticket for the HJ Express ( oh.. and maybe one more to become a patron) and join 'What Would Brian Bevan Say' as we depart from the platform Fitzy mediocrity. Enjoy.
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ONLY CONNECT
Join us on a hyped-up episode. Yes, following Wire’s magnificent opening win, there’s nothing but positivity as the podders illuminate a Professor Broomhead-initiated game review, a salsa-fuelled bobsleigh team, a remarkable sober Sam Sankey, Rob’s replica Hockney, and more of Dennis’ wedding celebrations (just don’t mention Gary Glitter). Enjoy.
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14,000 MILES FOR A FRIENDLY
With Dennis still loved up and Mr Sankey still thawing out his calculator from his hibernation, it’s left for Rob to take to the air and cover the Leigh match. Yes, settle back for nearly two hours of uninformative nonsense as the podcast returns for Season 8! Oh… and please become a patron — look, look, the links below. Enjoy.
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THANK F**K THAT'S OVER
The podcast signs off for another year. A huge thank you to all our listeners — but especially to our Patrons. THANK YOU. Without you, this shite wouldn’t be possible.Â
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See you all next year!
BELINDA CARLISLE
As the players find themselves out of their depth, the podcast takes a plunge behind the scenes. So lap of it up and dive right in as we freestyle until the end of the season.
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A COUPLE OF PORK CHOPS
Don’t worry, we’re nearly there. Yes, that’s right, yet another podcast episode regurgitating the same old nonsense. Who gives a shit anymore? We don’t! Enjoy.
A MEETING OF MENSA
The podcast reviews the Wigan and Catalans' matches - even though Sam, Dennis and Rob didn't really watch them. There's a carnival atmosphere on the sitcom, more tackle-sag points than you could shake a stick at, and have you ever smeared wintergreen on your genitals? Quick....quick...somebody call the Samaritans!Â
SEVEN MINUTES
It hardly seems worth podding but somehow the podcast continues with another episode discussing Super League's amateurism, a pain au chocolat, an abundancy of tackle-sag points and what Ralph can see from the top of Arthur's Seat. Enjoy.
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CARL WEBB'S LOFT
As Wire go on a shopping spree the podcast reviews the Catalan and Castleford games. Dennis receives a letter, Sam holds little hope as he plans to bugger off to France, Rob bribes his daughter to lunch and Daniel tracks down Oasis. Plus, the sitcom makes its way to Glastonbury - and should HAL be placed on the Warrington board? Enjoy.Â
Tevita Pangai Jr Knockout https://youtu.be/iG8xVOwbhzA?si=_kA_TrRg8CqU0i0S
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PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
The podcast is back to full-length recordings, just as Warrington put in a performance not worth talking about. So strap in as we look at an England squad with f**k-all chance of winning the test series, a 321 Dufty Bin section that goes completely pear-shaped, and question whether Burgess will make it to Hootenanny. Enjoy.
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GUESS NIGEL'S WEIGHT
Warrington get back to winning ways, Sam spies from the bushes, Dennis makes crop circles and Rob thinks it's confusing to be a girl. Enjoy.Â
BUFFET-ING
The internet’s shit in Corfu but it doesn’t stop Rob and Sam discussing their Simons - as they go in search of one for Dennis. Enjoy.
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SHE CAN TELL BY THE MOISTURE
We podcast unplugged from Dubai, following Wire’s camel shit show.Â
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BELLY BUTTON: INNIE OR OUTIE?
Summer’s here, and so are our unplugged podcast episodes — shorter, snappier, and still just as shit. Enjoy
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A STAB AT WEMBLEY
The pod questions are all of Sam Burgess’s eggs in one basket as Wire march towards London? Rob ponders what Mr Shaw filled his cavity with back in 1981. Sam drills the fixture list and predicts that, due to numerous forthcoming cancellations, Warrington can still finish top of the NRL. And with nothing but vanilla insight, Dennis is left to fill in all the gaps. Enjoy - although with this episode, that may prove almost impossible.
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THE MARSUPIAL QUOLL, SOCRATES AND A GIRL FROM CROFT
A rollercoaster set of results leaves the podcast asking, why? Rob reminisces about a girl from Croft prompting Dennis to make his escape. And as Daniel paints a beautiful picture, it’s left to Sam to strip back the canvas in search of Warrington’s coaching provenance. Enjoy.
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DAD
THE PSYCHOLOGIST
Warrington go down valiantly at the Magic Weekend, but does Sam Burgess still have a trick up his sleeve to take his team to Wembley? Meanwhile, Sam fixes technical issues live on air, Dennis does no preparation whatsoever for the pod, and Rob seeks professional advice for his mental health. Plus there's the usual regurgitated Bergerac bollocks, a Fawlty Towers casting and Daniel has more ideas of his own. Enjoy.
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BRIAN WOULD HAVE WAITED OVER TWELVE HOURS FOR THE SODDING VIDEO REFEREE
There’s pessimism, optimism, and a dose of realism to be found in Wire’s last couple of weeks. Yes, the podcast returns armed with a barrage of facts - as Sam delivers his finest ever “shitsistic,” Dennis sags into AI and the cloning of commentary, and Rob follows through with 3000 dollars of Rustic Orange. Over at the sitcom, George has lost his voice, and Daniel somehow manages to deliver four seasons in a single soundbite. Plus, there's a solidarity history lesson from HAL. Enjoy.
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SOME FUCKER IN A GREEN LEOTARD
After Wire’s dour performance against Hull, the podcast goes in search of answers. Dennis visits Shepton Mallet Prison, Rob celebrates his wedding anniversary and Sam downs 1500ml of wine. Plus, Daniel’s not happy with player recruitment as the pod hints towards Oasis tickets. Enjoy.
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TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSION IN SPACE
It’s two more wins for Wire as the podcast takes a positive-ish look back at the last couple of weeks. Sam is late to the recording, Dennis concocts a winning players’ serum, and as Daniel steps into the Tardis, Rob wishes he could travel back in time to patch up a relationship in the pre-gentrified borough of Islington. Plus, there’s a pop video in production. Enjoy.
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KICK TO VICTORY
Have Wire kicked themselves back on track? The shitistics seem to suggest so. Rob reminisces about the anniversary of his washing line snatch, Sam's convinced his Lymm Dam encounter with Mr & Mrs Burgess worked wonders, and Dennis comes up with alternative Sneyd chants. Plus, Daniel chisels away at Mount Rushmore. Enjoy!
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ALL WIMBLEDON SCOREBOARD OPERATORS ARE OVER 18
Warrington are back from Vegas - struggling to find form or confidence. Dennis decides to take the HJ pitch with his dowsing rods, Sam goes dogging at Lymm dam and Rob flush with his winnings turns to Tony Barrow for a solution. Enjoy.Â
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THE DUNNING-KRUGER EFFECT
The autopsy begins as the pod dissects Warrington's pre-game, game and post-game experience in Vegas. Sam beats his caveat record but only 'slightly', Dennis turns his back on the big screen and Rob comes with an over-18 warning. Plus, in the week of The Brits and the planets aligning, the sitcom returns with it's very own Mercury Prize. Enjoy.
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VISA LOSS VEGAS
As Wire head over the pond, the podcast ponders Warrington's opening two fixtures. Dennis officially places his first player on sag-watch, Sam shares an anniversary with Daniel's soundbite, and Rob recovers from hospitalisation. Plus, the sitcom arrives in Vegas! Enjoy.
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GO GET CHECKED
A win’s a win but Is there anything more to say about Wire’s victory after their visit to a Yorkshire apocalyptic wasteland? Rob shares news of his recent anal examination, Dennis shows early signs of aluminium dementia, and Sam's managed to patch things up. Plus, there’s Dufty Unplugged, and Daniel's been cloning players. Enjoy!
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MY WIFE WATCHED FROM THE BATHROOM
As Sam Burgess embarks on the all-important, tricky second album, the podcast returns for yet another season. Strap in for two hours of squad banter, an AI invasion, the ultimate ginger rankings, readers’ letters, a Vegas-themed quiz, a librarian proverb and Lord Melbury's visit to Lidl. Not forgetting there's plenty of caveats. We premiere the award winning new sitcom recorded at Simon Moran's Fletcher Street Studios. There's the triumphant return of Daniel, Rob's unveiling of an improved Wire top, and Sam’s battle to 'Strictly' extend his 20-day streak without a drink—can he make it to the end of the ep...
MOORE TO THE POINT THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR
Join the podcasters with an hour's therapy session. Yes, Warrington may have fallen short but with an exciting Burgess Second Album due, what could be more invigorating than Dennis' future tackle bag promises, Sam's positivity and Rob's supermarket gossip. Enjoy. We'll see you all back here in 2025.
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JOHN BEVAN'S CAR DURING BOB A JOB WEEK.
Following Wire's Golden Point win against Saints the podcast prepares for Warrington's trip to Hull Kingston Rovers Rugby League Football Club. Dennis provides a Japanese moment of purpose, Sam illegally tries to purchase tickets for the semi final and Rob's recovering from a harrowing injury. Plus, Alan London tells a BAFTA winner to fuck-off and Hi de Hi is back. Enjoy. This is all getting rather exciting!
DWARFISM IS PC DURING THE PLAY-OFFS
As Wire approach their eliminator game against Saints, Sam comes up with pop-up free shitistics. Dennis is concerned by a gate-crashing asteroid and Rob reminisces about a mistaken identity in the Carlton Club. Enjoy.Â
ARE YOU BEING SERVED?
The podcast struggles to get too enthusiastic following Wire's lopsided victory away at Huddersfield. Lost in translation Dennis admits to the Iberian locals he's an alcoholic. And as Sam tries to be serious for just a second, Rob is more interested in a Ken Davy lookalike. Enjoy.Â
NOT AN O'LEVEL BETWEEN THEM
Wire comfortably beat Saints as Dennis struggles for a WiFi connection, so it's left to Sam and Rob to finally talk nothing but Rugby League. Enjoy.
TAKING THE BULL BY THE HORNS
Warrington fall to a contentious loss at Leigh. Dennis continues his alcoholic pilgrimage to the Iberian Peninsula, Sam is recognised in the working class seats and Rob dusts off his Ben Thaler impression. Enjoy.Â
CUNTH
The podcast goes back on tour with Dennis pissed-up in Spain. Sam’s anxiety hits a new high with an unstructured recording, and Rob admits to a recurring wet dream about his favourite Warrington coach. Enjoy.