Grief can make you feel like the world should stop, yet everything keeps moving and you’re left trying to keep up. I’m on my own for this one, speaking as a former hostage and crisis negotiator who’s heard hundreds of stories from people in crisis and as a human being who has also had to carry loss. I share three hard lessons that shaped my work and my life: we will all face crisis at some stage, many crises centre on loss, and loneliness can quietly become one of the biggest threats to our wellbeing.

I...

Every suicide callout Claire attended as a police officer was male and that pattern haunted her long after the blue lights switched off. Claire Dunn joined Essex Police at 20, spent 18 years responding to crisis, and was medically retired with PTSD in 2016. She retrained, stepped into the NHS, and quickly hit a new shock: in school-based mental health services, boys were barely being referred, even though boys and girls struggle at similar rates. If boys aren’t coming through the door, what happens before they reach crisis point? 

We dig into the turning points that pushed Claire from awa...

Suicide is still taking too many men, and the scariest part is how often it happens in silence. I sit down with Aldo Kane, former Royal Marines commando and one of the world’s go-to safety and expedition leads for extreme TV and film, to talk about what he’s learned from decades in high-risk, high-consequence environments and from losing close friends to suicide.

We dig into why men can struggle to communicate pain, how “unwritten rules” about being a man can turn stress into isolation, and why psychological safety changes everything. Aldo shares a grounded framework for resi...

This episode is part of Podcasthon 2026, a global podcast movement highlighting the work of charities around the world. For this special release on Friday 20 March, we are proud to support SHOUT, the UK’s free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone struggling to cope.

Grief can make the world feel smaller, quieter, and strangely far away from who we used to be.

In this deeply honest conversation, John Kammer joins Nicky Perfect to share how repeated loss shattered his illusion of invincibility and pushed him into years of...

A quiet smile can hide a collapsing world. Michele D’Souza joins us to share the story of her brother Nick and the hard truth many of us avoid: suicidal distress often looks like recovery on the surface. We walk through the uncertainty that followed his death, the relentless guilt of being the last to see him alive, and how a decade of grief reshaped Michele’s life and work.

From there, we shift into what actually helps. Michele breaks down trauma-informed leadership with practical clarity: recognize dysregulation, build psychological safety, and respond with empathy rather than pres...

A hard truth unlocked everything for us: the second time you ask “Are you really okay?” is when the real answer shows up. Susie shares how she moved from being sectioned as a teenager to building a life she once thought was out of reach—work promotion, supportive love, and plans for a youth‑focused suicide prevention project. 

Together we break down practical tools for supporting someone in crisis: ask twice, speak plainly about suicide, and be ready for an honest “yes” without recoiling. You’ll hear why direct language does not plant the idea, how to respond in the...

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A gentle hello can change the course of a life. That’s the heart of our conversation with therapist Rachel Young, who shares how simple, human connection can interrupt a suicidal spiral without perfect words or clinical expertise. We walk through what real pain often looks like from the inside, why people describe themselves as a burden, and how a sudden “lightness” can appear after someone decides to die. Understanding these signals helps us respond with clarity, compassion, and courage.

We get practical fast. Rachel offers short, direct phrases that open doors: Are you t...

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A football terrace nickname, TV attention, and nights out might look like belonging—but Lee’s story reveals what happens when external validation drowns out a silent, aching inside. From childhood loneliness to alcohol dependence, from extreme weight loss to a mental civil war, he takes us through the moments that pushed him to the edge—and the brutal aftermath that followed when he survived a suicide attempt. The turning point wasn’t a slogan; it was his mum’s face at the end of the ICU bed and the decision to build a life worth sta...

A quiet shift in someone’s routine can be the loudest alarm. We sit down with retired detective and crisis negotiator Nicky Hurdley to unpack how frontline negotiation skills translate into everyday conversations when a friend, teen, colleague, or partner might be suicidal. Instead of scripts or clichés, we focus on the human core: notice subtle changes, echo the exact words you hear, validate feelings without rushing to fix, and give time in low-pressure spaces like side-by-side walks.

Nicky Hurdley shares practical ways to spot “throwaway” lines—those casual phrases that carry heavy meaning—and how to circle b...

What would you say if someone you love hinted they might not want to stay? We sit down with Sue Williams—former head of the Hostage and Kidnap Units at Scotland Yard—who brings 35 years of crisis negotiation to a question many of us fear: how do you talk about suicide with care, courage, and clarity?

Sue breaks down the essentials with a precision that feels human, not clinical. We explore how to prepare when time allows, from choosing a calm setting to mapping likely replies and gathering support contacts before you need them. You’ll learn the do...

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In this episode, Nicky speaks with Danny Kett, a former police negotiator with 30 years of experience, 18 of those in hostage and crisis negotiation. Danny shares what crisis work taught him about conversations that matter most — especially when suicide is a concern.

They discuss myths that hold people back, including the fear that mentioning suicide puts the idea in someone’s head, and show how direct, honest language can actually open doors. Danny shares a powerful personal story of supporting a family member in crisis through text messages, explaining how matching pace and...

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When Help Feels Like Pressure: One Voice, Safe Space, and Conversations That Save Lives

Host Nicky talks with former police officer and negotiator Damian about what really helps when someone is in crisis. They unpack the reality of suicide in the UK, why crowds and escalating responses can increase pressure, and how one trusted voice in a safe space can change a decision. This episode offers practical, compassionate steps for parents and carers—what to notice, how to open the conversation, and how to choose the right...

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In this episode Nicky talk to Katey Martin, a police officer and head of counter-terrorism negotiation training in the UK, discussing her experiences and the importance of suicide prevention. 

She highlights that 95% of their call-outs in London involve crisis situations. Katey emphasises the success of negotiators in saving lives through difficult conversations. She trained as a suicide first aid instructor and, with colleague Derek Carroll, rolled out this training nationally. Katey stresses the importance of using observational language, trusting gut feelings, and having open conversations about suicide. She also mentions the prevalence o...

In this episode Nicky explains how human emotions play a large part in how people respond to change.She goes through the Kubler Ross grief cycle and how this helps explain why we experience the emotions we do and how you can manage them.

Resources & support (UK)

 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com

 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk

 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide

 — a...

Episode 93 - Communication in change episode 1 by The Communication Coach

Resources & support (UK)

 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com

 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk

 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide

 — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

For many of us Christmas is a time to relax and have fun but for some of us it's a time we spend with people we don't really know or necessarily even get on with.It's also often a period filled with difficult conversations, emotion and breakup of many relationships.In this episode Nicky speaks to Janthea Brigden. Janthea owns a company called Nipperbout creating child friendly environments at events, hospitality and leisure.They discuss a whole host of topics to help you with your extended family, family and children this Christmas and give you some practical tips to help...

In this episode Nicky looks at four areas to help you have those conversations you have been putting off.Emotions - why conversations with our families can often be driven by emotions and the impact of this.Consequences - what they are and why you should think about them before you have the conversation.Beliefs - both yours and the person who you are going to talk to and how they intertwine.How to introduce this conversation and how this will help keep the emotions down.

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