The Train From Airdrie Station
A memoir of music, addiction, mental health, and resilience. An expat from small town Scotland to big city Toronto."I write about the memories of a time in the 60’s, as a child immigrant to Canada, from a small town in Scotland. How the culture we found here affected us, and me ultimately, mostly through music.I write about my addiction, something that took hold of me for over thirty years, how I used alcohol (mostly) to deal with and mask my depression and mental health challenges. I write about how I came out the other side, alive, and still upr...
A Musician's Note, Part Two.
Fifty years of a music life, and I have a few things to share. Don't squander your talent, promise and potential.
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The Comeback Kid.
"How often have I written about so much in our lives being a distraction? A distraction, wasting time, waiting, until we can finally do what moves us. Drives us. Like that is the reward.
Once we get to here. Once we get everything else taken care of, fixed, resolved, sorted, then, only then can we do what is best for our soul."
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A Musician's Note.
A few thoughts after a lifetime in music. Value your work. The time and dedication it took to accomplish your professional chops. Respect yourself. Or no one else will.
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Ego.
"Don’t be too sure about anything, except your desire to find peace inside, and a quiet confidence. As a young man I would have laughed at myself for writing this. He was in a much different place then. But I never gave up searching for something better inside. And I read a library trying to get here."
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Bewitched.
We were shielded as kids back in the 60's in many ways. During my lifetime however there have been some improvement in equality, rights, opportunity. And yet, it can all fade away again. I see thru the lens of a wee lad watching Bewitched, and again now in my 60's. Freedom is precarious. Support your local Endora.
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Toronto.
"Toronto provided me with opportunity. Canada, for a while it seems to me, was a bridge and a balance between European sensibilities and US bravado. Although co-opted into American culture through media and the sheer size of her population, Canadians kept separate in our own way. Cultures immigrating here were encouraged to keep their traditions rather than blend in as they might south of the border. But just maybe Toronto aspired to be a “world-class” city in response to the pot-banging from the south. A kind of competition. Regardless, the city we flew into in 1965 is different in every way...
Glasgow.
I found my songwriting moment, on my final tour across the pond.
In Glasgow. Of all places.
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Airdrie Station.
"I knew one thing now for sure now sitting on that platform, waiting for my train. You cannot live in the past. It was funny. What a revelation. I had travelled across the sky, across the ocean to sit in a place we once left to finally understand. You cannot live in the past."
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The End.
The real work begins post-sobriety. And for the loners of the world, it has unique challenges.
Be fully engaged in the life you were given. With grace, and gratitude.
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Sober and Sixty.
I got clean (finally) at 59. Sobriety is now the most important thing in my life. Never as a young man did I expect my path to lead me here. But in no way am I an expert in addiction. Find your own why.
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Do You Know What I Mean?
Mitigating circumstances. Putting in the work to come to terms with addiction and depression, and learning not to quit.
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Stranger In The Homeland.
At what point in leaving your place of birth for a new country, does one become a stranger, unable to return? Immigrant, citizen, or expat?
One foot here, one foot there...
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Big Muskoka Moon.
There are two gifts my father gave me. One was to bring me to Canada for a better life, and a better opportunity.
The other is in our genes. He was a worker bee. Did what he needed to do. Always getting up. Son of a farmer. Never quit. You can’t ask for much more than that.
With hard work, and acceptance, and the drive to learn, everything in your power. Everything is up to you.
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The Days of Convenience.
Great music inspired me, especially early-seventies rock. But at my peak as a guitar player, performing felt empty. Writing saved me, and my carefree highway years were gone.
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Practice.
Practicing to get better, through addiction and crazy times. Dedication over motivation all day long.
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Wonder.
Depression and mental health issues have less stigma now, but when I was a boy these things were unacknowledged. The scars remain, but hope beckons.
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1960.
"Growing up in Toronto, we got a lot of American news. A lot of Vietnam coverage, and body bags coming off planes. Hippies. Riots. Civil unrest. Expo ’67, the political rise of Pierre Trudeau (one of my teachers had his poster up in our classroom), trouble in the Middle East, astronauts, the Cold War, and the last time the Leafs won a cup."
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The Art of Songwriting.
We came to Canada in the mid-sixties. From small town Scotland to big city Toronto. My childhood filled with the sounds of radio and television. Living in a new place as immigrants, and ex-pats. One foot here, one foot there. Always a stranger.
Read my work on Substack
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