The Ramblings of an Insomniac

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The, “what ifs,” are taking over. I am currently wide awake, anxiety ridden. Can’t sleep. Thinking of my mom. Wondering if I could have done things differently? What if I didn’t encourage her to move? What If I spoke out more? 
 I should have said more to my mom and taken better advantage of time with her? I keep replaying the phone calls of my telling me how scared she was to die. Having to hear my mom’s anxiety and panic. Yet be kept away. It’s NOT OK! 
I cannot fo...

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What’s been preventing me from counting sheep? Personal space and boundaries.  In this episode I discuss people feeling it’s OK to invade your personal space? To disrespect both physical and personal boundaries. 
I feel boundaries are very important. We need to let others know what is/is not acceptable? What you will tolerate as a partner, parent or friend. Allowing people to walk all over you, is not OK. 
I feel physical boundaries are important, as well. If we live in a city and have neighbors, a fence is nice to...

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What’s been keeping me up? Crazy people. Mentally unstable humans. Pessimistic, unhappy, ungrateful humans. Those that go out of their way to try to bring others to their miserable level. 
But I refuse to follow. I say, rejoice in the rain like Drew Barrymore. Sing and dance like no one’s watching. Because it’s OK to be HAPPY. To be PROUD. To celebrate life and be thankful. 
Hate will exist no matter how hard we try to erase it. Racism, intolerance, violence, religion, will always exist. It’s how we CHOOSE...

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In this episode I discuss being awake. I can’t sleep. My body is ready but my brain  has taken over. Videos from social media are playing in my head. Videos of people acting like animals. Humans behaving like savages. I can’t handle the violence. It’s keeping me awake. 
So, I am on, yet another sabbatical from social media. I can’t get sucked in to the black hole that is negativity. 
I need to center myself. Breath. Rid my mind things I cannot control. Focus on solutions and how I can h...

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In this episode I discuss faking it till you just can’t any more. Putting on a happy face, even when times are tough. I feel we need to walk talk, with confidence and take pride in ourselves. Because if we don’t, who will? If we don’t take ourselves seriously, no one else will. 
I discuss why animals help our confidence. You can’t lie to a horse. 
What’s been keeping me up? CONFIDENCE! 

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In this episode I discuss regrets. I feel regrets and guilt cause big health issues. There’s nothing you can do to change the past. All you can do is learn and move forward. If you continue to make the same mistakes, they are no longer mistakes. It’s intentional. You are failing to grow and are seeking drama. Mistakes happen once or twice. Beyond that, maybe it’s your choices? 
I love this quote, “if, ifs were fifths, we’d all be drunk.” 
I also discuss music and memory. 

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In this episode I discuss CONFIDENCE vs arrogance. I discuss weak minded people that want to unalive confident, educated, strong people. Insecure people view those with confidence as a threat. Or is it something they covet? Something they WISH they had. They wish they had that person's ability to hold their head high and move forward with pride. 
Because let’s face it, you have NO PRIDE if you’re mutilating your body. No pride if you’re rejoicing and supporting murderers. No pride if you choose not to love yourself and others...

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What’s been keeping me up at night? INSANITY!!! Crazy, psycho people running around causing havoc! Not just crazy people but those that follow, support and ENCOURAGE the crazy! What has this world come to? It’s sad. We’ve become jaded. 
And now, people are making videos rejoicing in violent and psychotic behavior. It’s TRENDY to scream, abuse, destroy and assassinate. How is violence trending? 

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Hello! In this episode I discuss, getting involved and educating yourself. 
The mayor and politicians of our city decided that strong arming and bullying was the best route in getting their way? We, the citizens, should have been aware of what was going on beforehand. If we had educated ourselves and attended city counsel meetings, we would have been prepared.  
I feel it is of the utmost importance to educate ourselves on what’s going on in our city, state and country. To educate ourselves on who we are dating, what comp...

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What’s keeping me awake? Good people DYING! So OVER IT! Why are all the kind, hard working, good humans have to die? Fauci is alive and well. So many evil, terrible people are living life. Why? 
I discuss abusive relationships and Hayden Panettiere. I am proud of her for speaking out about abuse. She also died too young. Sad. 
This episode is based around relationships and good people dying, while shitty humans, seem immortal? 

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What’s keeping me up? Manipulative people. People that get off hurting vulnerable, scared, humans that just want to feel secure for the first time? That want to feel safe and stable, for once? There are monsters that prey upon the vulnerable. That feed their egos by controlling others. It’s sadistic. It’s exhausting. It’s preventing me from sleeping and causing health issues…

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In this episode I discuss relationships. Abusive ones. Both mentally and physically. I talk about how stressful and scary it is to be in an abusive relationship. The time, energy and self esteem you lose. The stress it puts on you mental and physical health. 
I also discuss love. Everyone seems to have their own definition of what love is? I’m noticing some see abuse as love? They make excuses for why they treat someone poorly and claim it’s out of LOVE? Funny thing love? People show it in different ways...

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What’s been keeping me up at night? people’s lack of consideration!  I feel people forget they share the planet? 
I discuss growing up, evolving, learning. I talk about glory days and those that still live in them. 
I get in to my bad habits. The fact I allow my own family and partners to disrespect me. To lie, cheat and abuse. I give too many chances.  
I talk about reparations AGAIN, helping immigrants and people with less than. If you are passionate about BLM, reparations, the illegal immigrants, homeless...

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In this episode I babble on about motorcyclists. The fact they seem to feel the rules don’t apply to them? Drivers in general need to start paying attention. I feel sixteen is FAR too young to have a drivers license. Why? Just… why? 
I discuss virtue signaling, in all its glory. People love to talk the talk. Rarely do they walk the walk? Martha’s Vineyard anyone? Hey, if you feel black people deserve reparations, why aren’t you handing out money? Nothing stopping you from going in to black neighborhoods and handi...

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Alright, what the hell’s keeping me up THIS TIME? Trust. Betrayal. Narcissism. Sociopathic people. Ya know, normal stuff? Tired of all the above. Especially when it’s your own family or partner. When it’s someone you’re supposed to trust, it sucks even more. 
I discuss the fact human seem jaded nowadays? No one bats an eye at anything anymore? It’s scary and sad. 
I talk about people having zero value for themselves or others. If we have no sense of self worth, no one else will either.  We  seem to h...

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In this episode I discuss projection. People’s tendency to project their beliefs, feelings and thoughts on to others. I talk about people forming opinions based on one sided info. Based on things they’ve heard from one media outlet or one group of people. Instead of doing their research. Instead of gathering all of the facts. 
I also discuss assuming. You know what they say about assuming? I also discuss cheating, fraudulent politicians and terrible parents. Parents that allowed their MINOR children to have gender affirming surgeries. I get pretty graphic on my...

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What’s keeping me up? Gratitude. Being happy, at peace. Loving and living life. 
People shouldn’t feel bad or guilty for being happy. For enjoying things they’ve earned. You can have empathy and sympathy for others, while still being grateful. 
I feel awful for people and animals suffering. I feel terrible that people have difficult lives. I, too have struggled and have had a difficult life. It’s all the more reason I want to relish the non toxic, peaceful times. 
No one should feel ashamed of being successful...

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This episode is as about imperfect as it gets. I somehow, pause the episode and don’t realize I’ve done so until quite a bit later? After it’s too late. Because of this error, I start discussing one topic and end up on an entirely new one? One minute I’m discussing hobbies. The next, I’m rambling on about imperfection. Which is pretty ironic? Sorry about that. Did it stop me from publishing this episode? No. Because imperfection is my jam. Maybe it’s unprofessional? 
Anyway, this episode covers down time. Fi...

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In this episode I discuss being fabulous. Finding your inner fabulous and loving yourself. Taking the time to live life. Love being alive. Going out and enjoying yourself. 
I also talk about having a hobby. Doing something for you and you only. 

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What’s been keeping me up? NOTHING! I finally got some, much needed sleep. I feel I could get used to this and sleep another eight hours. 
In this episode I discuss Hollyweird. The strange cult it seems to be? The bizarre behaviors. The narcissism. It’s interesting to me when people worship celebrities? 
I also discuss my thoughts on Anderson Cooper, among others, that have the potential to be aliens? 
I talk about Ross and Rachel’s toxic relationship. 
I talk about giving grace, humility, pride and asking for help. ...

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In this episode I discuss being in someone else’s shoes. It’s easy to pass judgement on to others, if we haven’t  walked a mile in their shoes. 
I discuss Fauci and WNBA. I talk about my thoughts on men in the WNBA and what I think should happen to Fauci. I also discuss my thoughts on serial murderers and those that allowed gender affirming surgeries. 
I go in to quite the rant with regards to my thoughts on mutilating children. The consequences, I feel should happen to ALL involved...

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Alright, I’m not going to lie. This episode gets off to slow start. I get far too side tracked by crickets and coyotes. 
I get back on track and discuss the reasons for my 1:00 am episode. Which include: stress, PTSD, anxiety, anger and sadness. I am feeling all of the emotions, hard. 
I talk about my mom and the relationship I have with my son. Which isn’t good.  I cry a bit. Then pull it together.  
I discuss perspective. The fact there are people complaining about algae when homes ar...

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Excuses, excuses…. People just love to make excuses. I am sick of hearing them. Accountability. I’ve discussed my thoughts on accountability many times. But in this episode, I mix it up a bit. 
I also discuss the WNBA. I talk about people backing up their talk. I love what  Enas Kanter has proposed! I love that the WNBA and certain groups of people will understand the consequences of what they’ve encouraged and supported. 

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In this episode I discuss self care. Taking the time to care for yourself. I talk about hobbies. I feel it’s important to have a hobby. 
I talk about couples that spend every, waking moment together. That can’t seem to do things separately? I find it unhealthy. 
I discuss enabling. Finding the balance between supporting and enabling. As a parent, it can be hard to find that balance. 

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What’s keeping me up? Insomnia! I discuss insomnia, sleep patterns, night terrors, sleep walking and talking in your sleep. 
I talk about Jada Pinckett Smith in all of her annoying glory. The fact that we never know what’s going on behind closed doors? The family that looks perfect and happy from the outside, can be going through hell behind the scenes. 
I discuss context, intention and excuses. I talk about making snap judgments and saying, “I would NEVER.” Never say never. We don’t know what we would do when put in...

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Today I keep politics out. Well, MOSTLY. I discuss support. Having people to vent to and support you. 
I talk about the fact that hate is going nowhere. Hate, racism and imperfection will always be around. No matter how hard we try, hate will exist. Stop seeking perfection. You will never find it. 
I discuss finding the good in others. There are far more amazing people on this earth, than bad. Give those people attention. 
I talk about asking for help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. I discuss being...

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What’s preventing me from sleeping soundly? Hypocrisy!  Hypocrisy seems to be running ramped these days? Just spreading like wild fire. Sad and scary. 
There are things certain groups don’t want you to remember or speak about. 
Things people don’t want you to bring up. Why? Because it proves their blatant hypocrisy. It proves them wrong.  They can’t have this… 

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In this episode I discuss STANDARDS. How many people have standards nowadays? It seems people have set them  pretty low? 
I feel both pride and standards have sunk far below what humans are capable of? 
What’s been keeping me up? People’s ridiculously low standards for some. But not others. 

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What’s been preventing me from counting sheep? FAUCI! I refuse to refer to him as, “doctor.” He is the devil. 

In this episode I discuss my great disdain for Fauci and the massive karma, I hope he receives. 
I talk about the policies put in place by Kate Brown and the Biden administration. I discuss the fact I 100% blame those policies for the death of my mother and thousands of others. 
As per the usual, I do not sugar coat my episode. I say what I mean and mean what...

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What’s been keeping me up all night? People’s lack of self respect and dignity. I discuss my definition of PRIDE. It seems to be vastly different than others? 
 I am mortified by the things people are PROUD of these days? I feel there’s a real disconnect? Dignity is lost. 

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Ok. It’s been a while since I got political. Haven’t wanted to go down the negative, political road. However, today is the day I do. This is the episode I get back in to politics. And I do it fully. I don’t mix my words. 
I discuss many things. Nazis, Jews, using words correctly. I also discuss liberals, racism, ignorance, and being retarted. Yes, retarted. That’s what I said. 
I jump right back in to offending people and countries. I discuss Iran, Palestine and Venezuela. And the morons tha...

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In today’s episode I discuss taking a time out from politics. I don’t want to bury my head and never speak of politics again. But for now, I need a break. I want to focus on the good. The good going on in the world.  
I also talk about changing my name. I have always wanted to change my name. I discuss the poor quality of this podcast, the power of positivity and the fact animals are the BEST! 
Last, I discuss my claim that most humans are pretty decent...

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In this episode I discuss several things in a short amount of time. I talk about family, how the elderly are treated, dementia and having a hard time focusing. 
What’s keeping me up? ADHD….

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In this episode, I discuss family. Relationships we have with each of our family members. The bond between parents and their children. But what happens when the bond is broken? What happens when you aren’t sure if you even like each other anymore? 
What’s been keeping me up? Boundaries and feeling like a bad parent. 

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I have to be honest. I ramble a lot in this episode. I discuss being grateful, humble and giving grace. 
I talk about having an ulcer and worrying about worrying. I also discuss letting go. 
I keep it simple.

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What’s been keeping me up? People that call others a Karen because they care. Are you a busy body if you step in and prevent someone or an animal from being bullied? Or saying something to a person that’s causing a scene or being out of line? I discuss the difference, in my opinion, between a KAREN and a person that CARES. 
I also talk about Britney Spears, bullying, prank calls and betrayal. 

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I apologize for being MIA for so long. That was rude of me. And I did it so abruptly! I apologize. But I’m back! Here I am. Did Anyine miss me or even know I was gone? 
In this episode I discuss writing letters. I miss writing letters. I want to start writing my friends letters and doing it in cursive. Not only in cursive but using ink and a quill. Being graded on penmanship, despite the fact I was a leftie, forced to use my RIGHT hand.  Left handed lives matt...

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In this episode I discuss being an eternal Debbie downer. While people are laughing and appreciating life, America, the rain… others are out to bring everyone else down. Misery loves company. Somehow rain is now racist? 

I talk about accountability and karma. I dive in to actions and oppression. I discuss day drinking and rules regarding drinking I feel are stupid? 
But mostly I discuss life! Living life and having fun. 

What’s keeping me up? LIFE! 

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What’s been keeping me up? Watching people from all over the world, fall in love with America! I’ve been binge watching reaction videis of people singing praises about America. Saying theur media LIED about the United States. 
I love the unity going on. People from ALL BACKGROUNDS, coming TOGETHER to have fun and experience soccer. 
i don’t want it to end! 

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What’s been keeping me up? People hating on America. Especially American citizens. 

I talk about the fact that there are things that work in certain countries, that will not work in America. America is too large to have things set up like Sweden, for example. 

I discuss how AMAZING America is, The fact that most people from other countries would kill to live in America. They’d jump at the chance to come to the United States and become a citizens. 

America has all...