Un-Adoptically Me: A Terrifying and Liberating Memoir — Audiobook Narrated by Author Elmarie Arnold
Award-winning adoption trauma memoir by Elmarie Arnold — narrated by the author herself.“Some books don’t just tell a story — they demand to be felt.”Born Baby X — a soul without a name, a heart without a home — Elmarie Arnold spent a lifetime navigating the primal wound of adoption. Through 88 intimate snapshots, she lays bare:The unseen woundsThe silent battlesThe lifelong search for self, truth, and belongingRaw. Intense. Devastatingly honest.This is not a performance. It is a reckoning._______________________________________________________________________________What listeners are saying:“So personal it feels like it echoes something unspoken in you. A brutal, beautiful reckoning.” — Literary Titan ★★★★★ “I read it in one sitting — and s...
Dying to Live | UAM Snapshot 50
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 50: Yours Quotefully
Forged in the depths of my being, these pearls of wisdom became a chronicle of a soul that refused to be emptied with a teaspoon.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
Recording this in our Ca...
Clandestine Mission | UAM Snapshot 49
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 49: Unshackling My Soul
While my husband sat barricaded behind a wall of his own making, I executed a clandestine mission to reclaim the only thing he could never touch — my own spirit.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
...The Final Cup | UAM Snapshot 48
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 48: Of Butterflies and Battlefields
I learned that butterflies are often winged on the battlefields of the mind, and that the poison my abusers intended for me was destined to be their own final cup.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE...
Liquid Moonlight | UAM Snapshot 47
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 47: The Art of Surrender
While my outer world sat in consecrated ruins, I found myself in a state of liquid moonlight, birthing a butterfly from a chrysalis that had been cracked wide open by chaos.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE...
Dancing in the Flames | UAM Snapshot 46
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 46: Becoming Alice
I woke to an unfamiliar euphoria, realizing that the vibrant little girl I had suppressed for decades was finally ready to dance in the flames of her own unbridled joy.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:<...
The Speckled Horse | UAM Snapshot 45
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 45: A Hero on Horseback
Just as I had sworn off men forever, a celestial message flashed in red letters, warning me that a speckled horse was carrying a man who would finally teach me the meaning of unconditional love.
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AUTH...
Walking Among Wolves | UAM Snapshot 44
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 44: Beyond the Veil
Guided by the breath of a leaf on the breeze, I walked among fifty-two wolves to find a compass materializing within my chest, beckoning me toward a truest self I had never dared to name.
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AUTHOR'S...
Eye of the Needle | UAM Snapshot 43
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 43: The Domino Effect
As the first legal domino fell, I found myself going through the eye of a needle, stripped bare of everything and everyone I thought defined my world.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
Recording...
A Warrior Born | UAM Snapshot 42
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 42: A Woman Scorned, A Warrior Born
Compiling three files of a twenty-year history, I realized I didn't want a worrier; I wanted a warrior who could see through the cunning tactics of a ruthless opponent.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE...
The Whisper of Freedom | UAM Snapshot 41
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 41: The Whisper of Freedom
The decision didn't come with fanfare, but in a small whisper at a roadside village that asked if I still wanted to be married to a man who treated my soul like dead weight.
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AUTHOR'S...
The Bombshell Recording | UAM Snapshot 40
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 40: Unleashing the Dragon
Recording a conversation that dropped like a bombshell, I watched as the mask finally fell, revealing a web of deceit that had kept me captive for twenty-three years.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
...
The Line in the Sand | UAM Snapshot 39
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 39: A Cry for Grace
I asked for a simple act of grace to save a marriage, only to be met with a stunning cruelty that finally gave me the courage to draw a sacred line in the sand.
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AUTHOR'S...
A Week of Mirrors | UAM Snapshot 38
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 38: A Week of Mirrors
From the way we parked our cars to the embarrassing secret of our skin, a week of shared mirrors revealed that nature had kept its appointment with us despite fifty years of absence.
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AUTHOR'S NOT...
Separation and Silence | UAM Snapshot 37
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 37: The Story I Never Knew
I sat in the shadow of a story I never knew, learning that my arrival in the world was marked by a separation that would forever shape the landscape of my mother's silent prayers.
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AUTH...
A Mother's Gratitude | UAM Snapshot 36
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 36: A Life in Pictures, A Heart in Pieces
In a quiet lounge, I watched as the woman who gave me life traced the faces of the people who raised me, whispering a mother's gratitude for a journey she was never permitted to witness.
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The Secret Language | UAM Snapshot 35
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 35: Tea and Wonder
Before we ever shared a cup of tea, a whimsical gesture from a sister's fingers pierced my heart, proving that even in our separation, we had always spoken the same secret language of humor.
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AUTHOR'S NOT...
The Primary Reflection | UAM Snapshot 34
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 34: Baby, Come Home
As our eyes met in the airport's din, the world around us levitated, leaving only the primary reflection of a soul that finally, after half a century, heard the words 'I see you.'
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AUTHOR'S NOT...
A Bible and a Lie | UAM Snapshot 33
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 33: Thoughts Unraveling
Through the crackle of a phone line, I discovered that the woman who gave me away was herself a foster child who had been forced to swear on a Bible that she would never come looking for me.
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A...
The Reflection I Performed | UAM Snapshot 32
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 32: From Stranger to Sister
Looking at a photo of the woman who gave me life, I searched her face for the reflection I had spent decades performing, only to find it in the smile of a sister I was about to call.
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<...
The Rabbit Hole's End | UAM Snapshot 31
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 31: Falling into Wonderland
A tiny seed of an email cracked my earth in two, revealing that my search was being mirrored by a sister I had spent a lifetime imagining on the side of a dusty road.
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AUTHOR'S NOT...
Neurogenic Release | UAM Snapshot 30
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 30: Beyond the Birth Certificate
While a bureaucratic request led to a deafening silence, my body began its own seismic shifting, trembling with the neurogenic release of stories it could no longer hold.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:<...
Hieroglyphs of the Heart | UAM Snapshot 29
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 29: A Daughter's Letter
As the sun dipped below the Karoo hills, I sat in my car to write a letter to a woman I had spent fifty-one years rising to the surface to breathe without.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE...
A Sixty-Minute Embrace | UAM Snapshot 28
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 28: Angels of Reunion
In a room vibrating with the unseen presence of angels, I was swept into a sixty-minute embrace that snapped the shackles of a lifetime's doubt.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
Recording this...
The Midnight Fire | UAM Snapshot 27
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 27: A Life in Crisis
Alone in a remote forest cabin under a full moon, I faced the agonizing silence of a life that was draining away faster than I could find the courage to replenish it.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE...
The Ghosts of Love | UAM Snapshot 26
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 26: The Grandparent Paradox
I stood before the ghosts of my grandparents and felt a love so profound it shattered my mind's belief that abandonment was the only truth I would ever inherit.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:<...
The Sound of Tearing | UAM Snapshot 25
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 25: A House Divided
Moving my life into a guest room on the eve of a new year, I realized that the chaos erupting in my home was the sound of stagnant energies finally being torn loose.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE...
Three Simple Words | UAM Snapshot 24
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 24: In the Knowing Field
Sitting in a circle of twelve strangers, I heard three simple words that triggered an earthquake in my soul, finally making my adoption real, palpable, and heart-wrenching.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
...
Settling Ancient Debts | UAM Snapshot 23
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 23: Karmic Release
I woke to a voice that declared my ancient debts settled, inviting me to step out of a duel of self-hate and into a DNA-shifting frequency I didn't yet know how to carry.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE...
Ashes of a Vow | UAM Snapshot 22
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 22: From Ashes to Awakening
As the flames curled the edges of my prenuptial contract in the backyard, I felt the shackles of a twenty-year vow dissolve into the night air, leaving me reborn and nameless.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE...
The Body's Warning | UAM Snapshot 21
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 21: Touchdown in Turmoil
Gazing at the empty space where my wedding ring's stone used to be, I realized that the heavy weight of my swollen feet was simply the body's way of carrying a life I was no longer meant to lead.
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<...
The Guardian of Love | UAM Snapshot 20
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 20: A Short Tail of Love
In the small, feisty frame of a dog named Shortsy, I found a guardian who mirrored my own food-intolerant soul and taught me that some goodbyes are simply the beginning of a deeper presence.
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Decimated by a Monster | UAM Snapshot 19
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 19: Trapped in a Nightmare
Watching a princess being decimated by a monster's manipulation, I found myself drowning in a twisted gratitude that it wasn't worse, while my soul screamed for an exit I couldn't yet see.
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A River of Sorrow | UAM Snapshot 18
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 18: My Gentle Giant
Surrounded by the vibrant charm of Franschhoek, I watched my son reinvent himself, unaware that the road home would soon become a river of my own uncontainable sorrow.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
...
Howling Like a Wolf | UAM Snapshot 17
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 17: The Hell to Come
As I howled like a prairie wolf into the rugged landscape of 'The Hell,' my heart knew what my mind refused to admit — that the coming year would burn everything I knew to the ground.
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AUT...
The Prophetic Map | UAM Snapshot 16
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 16: Beyond the Forgotten Pages
Retrieving seven buried journals from the dust of my past, I discovered that the words I once thought were a lie were actually a prophetic map back to my own soul.
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From Victim to Victor | UAM Snapshot 15
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 15: From Victim to Victor
Amidst the comedy of a breaking-down van and a crumbling life, a single moment on a stage rewrote my destiny from a story of what happened to me to what I would do with it.
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AUTH...
Forgot How to Breathe | UAM Snapshot 14
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 14: Beyond the Chaos
For years, I walked on eggshells in a house where silence was a weapon and survival was a performance I perfected until I forgot how to breathe.
🎧 Stream the full series: https://foreverfree.co.za/listen88
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✨ https://foreverfree.co.za
AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
Recording...
Screaming at a Silent Sky | UAM Snapshot 13
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 13: The Aftermath of Betrayal
Beneath the weight of a monstrous betrayal, I found myself face-to-face with Divinity on a garden bench, screaming at a sky that had remained painfully silent while my child suffered.
🎧 Stream the full series: https://foreverfree.co.za/listen88
📖 Read along (exclusive ebook): https://foreverfree.co.za/un-adoptically
🛒 Own the physical book (Amazon): https://mybook.to/un-adoptically-me
🛒 Own the physical book (Takealot): https://www.takealot.com/un-adoptically-me-my-story-my-truth-my-voice/PLID97006777
✨ https://foreverfree.co.za
AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE...
The Shrapnel of Silence | UAM Snapshot 12
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 12: The Shadows We Keep
Standing in the wreckage of a son's stolen childhood, I had to find the words to apologize for a silence I didn't even know I was keeping.
🎧 Stream the full series: https://foreverfree.co.za/listen88
📖 Read along (exclusive ebook): https://foreverfree.co.za/un-adoptically
🛒 Own the physical book (Amazon): https://mybook.to/un-adoptically-me
🛒 Own the physical book (Takealot): https://www.takealot.com/un-adoptically-me-my-story-my-truth-my-voice/PLID97006777
✨ https://foreverfree.co.za
AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDIO:
...
The Hesitant "No" | UAM Snapshot 11
Un-Adoptically Me | Snapshot 11: From Hartenbos to Forever
The greatest gift I ever received was a man's hesitant 'no,' a three-month delay that eventually paved the way for the only home I would ever truly know.
🎧 Stream the full series: https://foreverfree.co.za/listen88
📖 Read along (exclusive ebook): https://foreverfree.co.za/un-adoptically
🛒 Own the physical book (Amazon): https://mybook.to/un-adoptically-me
🛒 Own the physical book (Takealot): https://www.takealot.com/un-adoptically-me-my-story-my-truth-my-voice/PLID97006777
✨ https://foreverfree.co.za
AUTHOR'S NOTE FROM THE CAVE STUDI...
