The RISE to Intimacy Podcast

You've been in a sexless relationship for months, maybe years, and you have no idea where to begin to find your way back. You've read the books. You know what you're supposed to do differently. But nothing changes, and you can't help how you feel.

What you're up against isn't a communication problem. It's a pattern that started in your mind long before it showed up in the bedroom, and it's now running on autopilot. The thoughts you have about your partner create chemical reactions in your body, those reactions become emotions, and those emotions drive the...

You're talking to your partner, and they glance at their phone or sigh at the wrong moment, and suddenly your whole body tenses up. Maybe you start yelling, or you shut down and want to get out of the room. Later, you're lying in bed replaying it, wondering why your partner triggers you so easily, or worse, whether you're the problem for reacting the way you did.

You're not the problem, and this isn't about the sigh. When your partner triggers you, your nervous system is responding to something much older than the moment in front of...

Polyamory often gets framed as a mindset shift, a philosophical reimagining of love, freedom, and connection. But your nervous system doesn't care about your philosophy. It just knows your partner is with someone else, and your chest is tight, and your stomach is turning.

Jealousy in polyamory doesn't mean you chose the wrong structure or the wrong partner. It means you're human. The question isn't whether jealousy shows up — it will — but whether you have the skills to work with it instead of react from it. Because without those skills, even the most thoughtful relationship agreements start to c...

You may have had one big conversation about opening your relationship and assumed that was enough. Or you haven't been able to have the first one yet because you don't know how to start without derailing it before it goes anywhere. Either way, communication in polyamorous relationships is where things most often break down, and it's rarely because people aren't willing to talk.

What feels okay to agree to in theory doesn't always hold once you're living it. Agreements that made sense six months ago stop fitting, and jealousy, when it shows up, needs its own conversation...

Non-monogamy is no longer a fringe idea. It's showing up on dating apps, in therapy rooms, in late-night Google searches, and inside long-term relationships that look completely fine from the outside. But curiosity alone isn't enough to navigate it well. The choice to open a relationship matters far less than the skills you bring into it, and the quality of your conversations will shape everything that follows.

If you or your partner have been thinking about this, or if the conversation has already started, this episode is not a pitch for or against any relationship structure. It's...

The honeymoon phase is over, and real life has taken its place. When routines settle in, the stress piles up, and the spark no longer feels automatic, it’s common to wonder if something has gone wrong. But healthy relationships aren’t conflict-free, and healthy love isn’t accidental; it’s a practice. From validating your partner before you try to fix the problem to creating novelty on purpose, there is a roadmap for building a connection that is resilient rather than reactive.

Whether you feel distant, stuck in recurring arguments, or simply want to protect the life you...

You’re still in love with your partner and committed to a fulfilling life together, yet something feels off. The chemistry that once felt effortless now feels unpredictable or absent. You care deeply for each other, but you are completely out of sync sexually. If you’ve ever wondered why sex feels so hard when the rest of the relationship is fine, it isn’t necessarily a sign that you’re failing. It’s more likely a sign that stress, emotional disconnection, or old conditioning are quietly shaping your desire.

When this tension lingers, sex starts to feel loade...

You want real connection in a world that feels increasingly artificial, but the modern dating scene often leaves you feeling exhausted and quietly discouraged. You long for something organic and meaningful, yet you’re navigating systems that reward speed and constant availability over depth. If you feel like retreating from the apps and the emotional whiplash, it is a sign that your nervous system is trying to adapt to an environment that was never designed for your emotional safety.

When you are caught in this tension, attraction starts to feel confusing. You might find your chemistry going fl...

When my partner Dallas experienced erectile dysfunction in his mid-twenties, he felt broken. He believed something was fundamentally wrong with him, and struggling with anxiety and PTSD only added fuel to those feelings. Erectile dysfunction is often attributed to age, hormones, or attraction, but when it happens in your twenties, the confusion feels even sharper. The shame can spiral quickly when you love your partner but your body still goes into protection mode.

In this episode of The RISE to Intimacy Podcast, Dallas joins me to talk about his journey. We discuss how silence and misunderstanding lead...

You love your partner, but you feel your body shut down the moment intimacy begins. Something inside you tightens even when you want to feel close. These moments don't mean you have a lack of love or desire. They are often signals from your attachment system. Your nervous system has built-in needs for safety, trust, and emotional closeness. When those needs aren't met, your brain can interpret your partner as a source of threat or pressure instead of a safe space.

There is a learnable process for creating the emotional safety your nervous system needs to soften...

One of you moves toward the relationship to close the gap. The other moves away to reduce overwhelm or conflict. This is the pursue-withdraw cycle, and it is one of the most common and painful patterns in any relationship. If you have ever felt like you are chasing connection while your partner shuts down, you are not alone. This cycle does not mean your relationship is broken. It means your nervous systems are trying to protect you in opposing ways.

When you are stuck in this loop, intimacy starts to feel like a threat to your sense...

If you have ever felt like sex is just another chore, you are not alone. Many people find themselves saying "yes" simply because saying "no" feels too hard. This isn't a character flaw. It is a survival strategy that usually begins in childhood. When you grow up learning that love is conditional, you become an expert at abandoning your own needs to take care of everyone else. By the time you reach adulthood, sex can easily become an obligation fueled by pressure. It stops being an expression of your own pleasure.

Reclaiming your desire requires unlearning these...

Long-term couples rarely fall out of love overnight. Usually, they just fall into "logistics mode" where work, kids, and chores crowd out the space for connection. When life feels like an endless to-do list, intimacy starts to feel like just another chore. This shift into the "roommate phase" doesn't mean you are a failure. It is often a sign that your nervous system is overwhelmed and doesn't have the capacity for desire in this moment.

I developed the RISE model based on a decade of experience as a therapist and my own journey of moving from performance...

When difficult conversations with your partner feel overwhelming, when you need to resolve things right away or you need space to process, when a look or a tone shift sends your nervous system into overdrive, that's often PTSD showing up in your relationship. It doesn't mean you're broken or that you're the problem in the relationship.

There's a learnable process for managing your symptoms so they don't manage you. You can find the moment between what triggers you and how you respond. You can stay connected to your partner even when your nervous system wants to fight...

When couples stop having sex, they usually assume it's about laziness, manipulation, or lack of attraction. But sexual disconnection is actually a signal that something deeper needs attention—usually safety, repair, and attunement. Your nervous system, emotional dysregulation, and unspoken resentment all play a part in creating sexless relationships.

In this episode of The RISE to Intimacy, I walk through the critical difference between consent and coercion, avoidance and control, protection and rejection. I explain how unresolved emotional dysregulation keeps couples stuck in cycles of shutdown and escalation, and why communication alone isn't enough without the ability to...

When most people hear "sex therapy," they assume it's about technique or performance. It's not. Sex therapy is about understanding how your nervous system, past experiences, and attachment patterns show up in intimacy.

For years, I only associated sex with pressure and duty. I sabotaged a relationship I cared about because my body was screaming no, and I had no idea how to restore safety after my own trauma. That experience is why I do this work, and why I never separate trauma from sexual healing.

In this episode of The RISE to Intimacy, I...

Sex is everywhere. Yet meaningful conversations about intimacy are still wrapped in silence, shame, and confusion. Low desire, erectile struggles, or difficulty with orgasm get framed as personal failures when they should be framed as messages from the body shaped by culture, conditioning, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. 

In this premiere episode of The RISE to Intimacy Podcast, I invite you to gain a deeper understanding of what actually gets in the way of desire. Drawing on my decade of experience as a sex and couples therapist, I unpack how social expectations quietly disconnect us from our bodies, h...