Stuck Not Broken

Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity.

In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that builds resilience instead of burning you out. You'll learn how to work with your therapist to anchor in your safety state, mindfully "tiptoe" to the edge of discomfort, and safely return—a pr...

Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactics we all use.

Get ready to discover a "weird but effective" body-based approach that offers a sustainable path to emotional regulation, moving beyond just changing thoughts or behaviors. Learn practical steps to connect with your body's...

Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance.

⏰ CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction and Question from Katie

04:10 Therapists' Perspective vs Client Reality

08:27 Understanding Anger, Shame and Pendulation

12:29 Safety First Approach

16:40 The Unstucking Pathway and Academy

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbpp...

A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

• Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire

• The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states

• Why safety must come before any trauma work

• How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it

• The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing

🎯 My Ap...

Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack."

🎯 What You'll Learn:

• Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation

• How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool

• The difference between coping skills and true self-regulation

• How to connect with your body's natural breathing rhythm

• When prescribed breathing might actually be helpful (and when it's not)

This appr...

Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list? I share three practical strategies to reduce overwhelm and finally get things done. Learn how to find safety, soften your defensive state, and take small, almost effortless steps forward. This episode is a replay of a free webinar from the Unstucking Academy. Discover actionable tips to improve your daily life and reach your goals without feeling stressed. Tune in and take a step towards living more calmly, confidently, and connected.

00:00 3 Strategies to reduce overwhelm and get stuff done (262)

01:26 intro, about, and goal

01:53 You have things to do<...

Learn how the Polyvagal Theory helps explain healthy boundaries through a combination of safety and sympathetic activation.

Episode Introduction and Context — 0:00

Understanding Ventral Vagal Safety State — 0:34

Balancing Safety and Sympathetic Activation — 1:16

Proactive Practice for Boundary Setting — 3:29

Compassionate Boundary Enforcement — 5:16

Realistic Expectations and Self-Connection — 7:20

Conclusion and Invitation to Unstucking Academy — 10:14

Resources:

⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyvagal-checklist-download-8a9597

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series...

Discover why trying to force a change in your polyvagal state might be holding you back from true self-regulation. In this episode, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri challenges the common advice around prescriptive breathing techniques and invites you to connect with your body’s natural rhythms instead. Through insights from a live Q&A, learn how mindful awareness and listening to your body can lead to genuine calm, balance, and lasting change—without counting breaths or forcing a state shift.

Timestamps:

0:00 – Introduction to Inner Balance

0:39 – The Power of Natural Breathing

2:02 – Critique of Prescri...

What’s the real difference between “fawn” and “appease”? Therapist Justice Sunseri breaks down these trauma responses, how they relate to Polyvagal Theory, and what it means for recovery. Download the free Polyvagal One Pagers in the description for more resources!

00:00 – Episode intro

00:51 – Understanding Fawn and Appeasement

02:11 – Behavioral Adaptations in Severe Situations

03:23 – Appeasement and Social Activation

07:53 – Dissociation and Survival Mechanisms

11:50 – Recovery and Self-Regulation out of Severe Dissociation

15:07 – Episode outro and final thoughts

Resources:

⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyva...

Feeling stuck in old patterns or chronic anxiety? In this episode, you'll hear Janie's inspiring story of moving from a lifelong freeze state to genuine connection and safety. Discover how she overcame emotional numbness, built meaningful relationships, and found practical ways to feel more at ease in her own body. You'll learn:

⌲ Real-life strategies for getting "unstuck" and building safety in your nervous system

⌲ The power of co-regulation and supportive community

⌲ How small, consistent steps can lead to big changes in your sense of calm and confidence

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to d...

A listener shares his struggles with anxiety and attachment issues following a recent breakup. At age 17, Chuck's relationship triggered intense anxiety due to his anxious attachment style, leading to a highly stressful experience. After the relationship ended, Chuck faces persistent anxiety symptoms, fatigue, dizziness, extreme overthinking, and more. Justin discusses the possible states of defense and freeze, the role of safety activation, and offers practical general thoughts for those dealing with similar issues, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, connecting with friends, and building safety activation as pathways to feeling unstuck.

00:00 Introduction and Listener's Story

00:30 Recognizing...

Eva shares her powerful recovery from a Polyvagal shutdown state. She discusses her experiences, valuable insights, and practical tips that have helped her rebuild her sense of safety and connection. Focusing on the polyvagal theory, this episode highlights the importance of small, actionable steps and community support in the path to healing. Join us to discover how Eva went from feeling numb and disconnected to living a more vibrant and engaged life.

00:00 Introduction to Polyvagal Theory and Defensive States

00:22 Eva's Journey: From Shutdown to Recovery

08:22 Understanding and Naming the Defensive State

09:26...

What is neuroception, and what do you do with it? This fourth installment in a five-part series focuses on comprehending and applying neuroception in daily life. Discover practical tips for recognizing the body's subconscious detection of safety, danger, or life-threatening situations before you're consciously aware. Discover the significance of proactive sensory inputs and cultivate nonjudgmental self-awareness. These insights are essential for progressing towards a calmer, more connected life.

00:00 Intro to episode 252

07:00 Neuroception Example: Sarah's First Team Meeting

11:18 How to Easily Start Noticing Neuroception

14:15 Using Your Senses to Identify Neuroception

15:44...

💟 Join the Unstucking Academy - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy

Justin Sunseri delves into the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) with Dr. Stephen Porges, the originator of the Polyvagal Theory, and Karen Onderko, co-author of the new book "Safe and Sound." Discover how SSP, a unique therapy using specifically filtered music, can help alleviate anxiety, depression, and sensory sensitivities by enhancing the nervous system's ability to experience safety. The discussion covers the science behind SSP, its clinical evidence, and its benefits for various conditions from autism to trauma. An insightful conversation that explores the potential of SSP as...

Justin Sunseri reviews 'Safe and Sound' by Steven Porges and Karen Onderko. The book delves into the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), offering 13 real-life case studies and insights from Porges, the creator of Polyvagal Theory. Justin breaks down who the book is for, its content, and his thoughts on its genuine attempt to provide hope and comprehensive information about SSP. If you're curious about SSP and familiar with Polyvagal Theory, this review will help you decide whether this book can be a valuable addition to your collection.

Watch the interview with the authors on YouTube (or listen...

In this episode of 'Stuck Not Broken,' therapist and coach Justin Sunseri provides practical guidance on applying Polyvagal Theory to everyday life through validation and normalization techniques. Learn to bring compassion to your stuck defensive states through acknowledging and understanding your emotions and thoughts. Justin walks you through simple practices to help you live more calmly and connected. This episode includes skills practice and insights from the Unstucking Academy, making it an essential listen for anyone looking to improve their emotional resilience. Join us as we delve deeper into self-compassion and understanding through Polyvagal Theory.

00:00 Introduction...

Justin dives into the second tip of understanding your polyvagal state - increasing passive safety cues via your environment. Learn how to better understand and implement passive safety cues in your home to enhance your sense of safety and relaxation. Discover practical, easy steps to create a Passive Safety Environment, focusing on scent, lighting, and physical space.

00:00 Intro to episode 250

01:05 Safety and the Brainstem

07:49 Lighting in the Passive Safety Environment

09:37 Physical Space in the Passive Safety Environment

10:54 Take one step today.

12:31 Foundations Subscription Offer & outro

...

Understand and identify your polyvagal primary and mixed states. This episode covers connection, escape, aggression, collapse, play, motivation, stillness, intimacy, freeze, and appeasement and fawn states. Start identifying your states today.

00:00 Intro: Apply your Polyvagal Knowledge

02:27 Do you feel like connecting?

04:30 Do you feel like escaping or aggressing?

05:56 Do you feel like collapsing?

07:35 Do you feel ready to have with someone else?

08:41 Do you feel motivated?

10:24 Do you feel reflective and mindful?

11:51 Do you want to connect with someone else?

13:51 Do...

Justin Sunseri explains the concept of dorsal vagal shutdown, a state of immobilization and resource conservation in the face of life threats. He outlines how this shutdown affects emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and connections with others, making it difficult for individuals to function normally. Justin provides insights on recognizing shutdown in loved ones, emphasizing the importance of compassion, validation, and meaningful connection. He offers practical steps for supporting someone in shutdown, including validating their experience, normalizing their response, and connecting with them without adding pressure. The episode concludes with a parenting example illustrating effective ways to help a loved one...

Justin Sunseri discusses transitioning from a prolonged state of shutdown to experiencing freeze. He explains the differences between shutdown and freeze through the lens of polyvagal theory, and provides insights into the healing process. Justin discusses the importance of building a safety state and how to mindfully connect with different states of defense. He also introduces his new course 'Stillness to Sympathetic,' designed to help individuals harness emerging sympathetic activation for meaningful goals. Viewer questions and feedback are encouraged.

00:00 Introduction and Viewer Question

01:02 Understanding Shutdown and Freeze

03:11 The Process of Coming Out...

Justin Sunseri tackles a common belief among his clients—the necessity of identifying the root cause of anxiety, anger, or depression to address these feelings. Justin reads and responds to a community member's query about 'safety anchors' and their effectiveness when the source of anxiety is unknown. He explains that while knowing the trigger can be helpful, it is not essential for alleviating anxiety. By permitting emotions and listening to what the body needs, individuals can reduce the intensity of their feelings. Justin emphasizes reframing the idea of 'fixing' emotions to 'unsticking' them and validates the importance of feeling an...

In this episode of Stuck Not Broken, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri explores how understanding and embracing the different states of your nervous system can dramatically enhance your productivity, creativity, and overall well-being. Justin delves into the Polyvagal Theory, explaining the primary and mixed states of safety, mobility, and shutdown, and offers practical tips for accessing and utilizing these states to achieve greater focus and efficiency in your daily life. Learn how to create a more mindful and balanced approach to work, creativity, and personal growth.

00:00 Introduction: Unlocking Your Productivity

00:17 Understanding the Nervous System

This episode provides a platform for survey participants to offer encouragement, personal insights, and advice to those also experiencing shutdown. The shared experiences discuss common themes such as shame, isolation, the body's autonomic responses, and ways to work compassionately through shutdown states. The episode also highlights the importance of small steps, self-compassion, and human connection in the journey towards safety and self-regulation.

🔸 Shutdown Experiences Survey YouTube playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0wCusCOxhNUTWUAnJke_hpmNEEQ0atZZ

🔸 Shutdown Experiences Survey audio playlist - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/e8b8596b-813f-4c1c-9466-33db3...

Therapist and Coach Justin Sunseri explores how crying fits into the Polyvagal Theory. He shares insights from a private community meetup about crying as a self-regulatory process, emphasizing that it's not a Polyvagal state but a behavior to help climb the Polyvagal ladder. Justin discusses the different flavors of freeze, such as rage and panic, and provides practical advice on practicing safety and mindful releases to manage defensive activation states like anxiety and anger. The episode encourages building a foundation of safety and understanding one's defensive activations to handle intense emotional states better.

00:00 Introduction

00:39 Understanding...

You're likely trying many things to feel mentally and emotionally better, but are they all effective? Learn to put your efforts into 4 different buckets to understand what is effective and what isn't.

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

Let's examine two unasked questions: “What do I feel?” and “How do I know I feel that way?” These questions lie at the heart of understanding our Polyvagal states and how they influence our emotions and physical sensations. By exploring the connection between mind and body, you can learn how to tune into your inner experiences with mindfulness and self-compassion.

Chapters:

02:00 Identifying Your Emotional State

03:47 Practical Exercise: Recognizing Your State

05:19 Deepening Your Emotional Awareness

08:44 Concluding Thoughts and Resources

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozb...

Justin Sunseri shares an inspiring story from Macy to demonstrate effective self-regulation out of the Polyvagal state of shutdown. He explores Macy's experiences of navigating through states of immobilization—shutdown, freeze, and stillness—using music and movement to manage sympathetic activation. Justin also discusses why unexpected memories may pop into consciousness when practicing self-regulation.

00:00 Introduction to Self-Regulation Story

00:42 Macy's Experience with Shutdown and Freeze

01:11 Understanding Different States of Immobility

02:52 The Role of Safety in Self-Regulation

06:36 Macy's Journey to Mobilization

07:18 Welcoming Sympathetic Activation

08:41 Macy's Memory and Co-R...

Are you transitioning from a shutdown state to sympathetic mobilization? I address the common emotions of frustration, irritation, and anger as positive indicators of moving up the Polyvagal ladder.

01:32 Teagan's Journey: From Shutdown to Stillness

02:03 The Importance of Permitting Defensive States

03:29 Imagery and Irritation: Teagan's Experience

04:39 The Role of Fight Activation in Self-Regulation

07:41 Movement and Sympathetic Activation

09:31 Validating and Normalizing Fight Activation

11:00 Embracing Self-Compassion

11:20 Understanding Defensive States

12:27 Navigating Shutdown and Activation

13:57 The Role of Stillness in Self-Regulation

15:11...

What supports do real people in shutdown find the most helpful? And how many supports do they try? This is part 4 of the Shutdown Experiences Survey results.

🔸Total Access Membership of trauma recovery courses and community - https://www.justinlmft.com/totalaccess

🔸SNB: Book 1 - https://www.justinlmft.com/snb1

🔸Learn the Polyvagal Theory simply and for free - https://www.justinlmft.com/polyvagalintro

🔹I'd love your feedback! - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeZhfJa5_AWDN1D4zDO1nDMqs7gl0UrKpmuCqRYLmA5et08zg/viewform?usp=sf_link

00:00 Introduction...

Let's practice validating! Can you validate the sensations, emotions, impulses, cognitions, and Polyvagal state in this story?

00:00 Introduction to Validation

00:07 Understanding Validation

01:01 Domains of Validation

01:45 Introducing the SSIEC Tool

03:18 Story of Maria

04:23 Analyzing Emotions and Cognitions

06:31 Exploring Sensations and Impulses

09:27 Polyvagal State Analysis

15:20 Conclusion and Resources

🔸Download the SSIEC sheet - https://www.justinlmft.com/ssiec

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justi...

Join therapist and coach Justin Sunseri as he delves into emotional validation and its role in self-regulation. Learn the first lesson from his course, Shutdown to Stillness, which focuses on compassionately validating and acknowledging your emotions as a critical step towards inner peace and self-regulation. Validation can lead to normalization and even permitting your emotions to be.

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Invalidation

01:27 Understanding Shutdown and Stillness

01:47 The Autonomic Nervous System Overview

04:35 Experiences of Shutdown

05:21 The Importance of Stillness

06:04 Combining Safety and Shutdown

07:50 Validating Shutdown

13:44...

Why do you get obsessive, ruminating, or scattered thinking? Justin Sunseri answers this question through the lens of the Polyvagal Theory. He explains freeze and then describes how that results in cognitive shifts.

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

Therapist and coach Justin Sunseri addresses a YouTube comment regarding persistent hyperarousal and difficulty accessing a state of ventral vagal safety. Justin discusses various perspectives and advice from members of his private community, highlighting the importance of small steps, connections with others, and mindful practices. The episode emphasizes the necessity of both internal and external sources of safety, including co-regulation with others and individual sensory experiences. Justin also mentions approaches like validating emotions, normalizing experiences, and incremental exposure to safety cues as critical components to overcoming emotional dysregulation.

00:00 Introduction and Overview

00:16 Reading a YouTube Comment

Learn what the Freeze trauma response is, the dangers of addressing it head-on, and how to start coming out of it.

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

Join therapist and coach Justin Sunseri as he addresses a key question from his private community about transitioning from dorsal vagal shutdown to sympathetic flight fight activation. In this episode of 'Stuck Not Broken,' Justin delves into the Polyvagal Theory, explaining how to safely navigate these states without reinforcing a shutdown pattern. He also provides insights into his upcoming book and exclusive cohort 'Shutdown to Stillness.' Learn how to live with more calm, confidence, and connection while enhancing your self-regulation skills.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:57 Understanding Shutdown and Sympathetic Activation

03:12 The Role...

Justin Sunseri addresses whether everyone can recover from trauma by accessing their Polyvagal safety state. He explains the nuances, emphasizing the importance of context, co-regulation, and healthy attachments.

0:00 Can Anybody Self-Regulate and Recover from Trauma?

01:43 Introduction to Safety Anchors and UDS

02:08 Exploring the Concept of Safety Anchors

03:53 The Role of Co-Regulation in Safety

04:33 Challenges of Practicing Alone

05:01 Building a Supportive Environment

06:46 Barriers to Achieving Safety

07:54 Impact of Personal Growth on Relationships

🔹Join my Email list and get StucknautBot! - https://stucknotbroken.ck...

I answer questions about self-regulation and our safety state - should we challenge the capacity of our distress tolerance? Will this help strengthen our vagal brake?

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

Justin Sunseri continues his exploration of the Shutdown Experiences Survey, this time discussing the results of how dorsal vagal shutdown affects people on a daily basis. How effective do people feel they are coping? How do they alter their daily lives?

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

Justin Sunseri addresses a question about neurodivergence, safety, and connection. What does safety look like for someone who is "neurodivergent"?

🔸Total Access Membership of trauma recovery courses and community - https://www.justinlmft.com/totalaccess

🔸Free ebook, "Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm" when you sign up for my email list - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸Learn the Polyvagal Theory simply and for free - https://www.justinlmft.com/polyvagalintro

🔹I'd love your feedback! - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeZhfJa5_AWDN1D4zDO1nDMqs7gl0UrKpmuCqRYLmA5et08zg/viewform?usp=sf_link<...

I share the second round of results from my Shutdown Experiences Survey, including how far away safety feels and how long people live in shutdown. Gain new language for your experiences, plus lots of validation and normalization.

00:00 Introduction to episode 227

01:32 How far away does safety feel?

06:56 How long have you been in shutdown?

10:16 How long do acute shutdown experiences last?

13:10 Personal Shutdown Stories: Voices from the Survey

20:13 Support and Resources for Navigating Shutdown

🔸Total Access Membership of trauma recovery courses and community - https://www.jus...