Stuck Not Broken
Stuck Not Broken is the first podcast built on clearly teaching the Polyvagal Theory and applying it to your trauma recovery process. Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist that makes the science of connection easily understood and accessible to anyone. He created the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System and is the author of Trauma & The Polyvagal Paradigm. (Justin Sunseri, LMFT99147)
The Freeze Response, Explained: Polyvagal Theory
Freeze is not the same as shutdown, even though people use the words like they mean the same thing. Shutdown is a limp collapse. Freeze is tense: all the energy to run or fight, with a body that can't move. It's the gas and the brake at the same time, and it's underneath panic, phobias, and that flash of rage that comes out of nowhere. Here's what's actually happening in a freeze, how to come out of one in the moment, and why a long-held freeze has to be thawed slowly rather than forced.
👉 New here?
F...
The Shutdown State: Dorsal Vagal Collapse
Sometimes the body's answer to too much isn't panic, it's the opposite: going quiet, going numb, wanting to disappear. That's shutdown, the bottom of the Polyvagal ladder, and it's where a lot of what gets called depression actually lives. Here's what it feels like from the inside, why your body would ever reach for it, and the slow, gentle way back up. No pushing through, no forcing it.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉 Start...
The Fight or Flight State: Polyvagal Theory
Anxiety and anger can feel like opposites, but they are two sides of the same state. Fight or flight is your sympathetic nervous system mobilizing to protect you: flight shows up as anxiety and worry, fight as anger and irritability. This one is about what that state feels like, what it looks like in a person's face, breath, and voice, and why a system built for short bursts can leave you feeling stuck when it stays switched on. Courtney's story picks back up here too, and the day takes a turn.
👉 New here?
Find your stu...
The Safety State: The Top of the Polyvagal Ladder
Safety is the state where life feels workable. Not perfect, just manageable. It's the top of the ladder and the place we're all reaching for, so this episode is about what it actually feels like in your body, what it looks like on someone's face and in their voice, and what it really takes to get there. You'll also meet Courtney, whose story we follow throughout the states from here.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
<...Functional Freeze: Why You're On Edge but Also Distant
You're getting things done. Answering texts, making dinner, showing up. But underneath it you feel wired and flat at the same time, like you're watching your own life through a foot of glass. That's functional freeze: your gas and your brake pressed at once, and "functional" just means you're still getting through the day while it runs. In this episode I break down what freeze actually is, how it's different from burnout, depression, and shutdown, why the two obvious moves (pushing through and checking out) both backfire, and one small orienting practice you can try today to let the...
Story Follows State: Why Your Thoughts Aren't Random
Ever notice your thoughts get meaner when you feel bad, and softer when you feel good? That's not a coincidence, and it's not a flaw in you. "Story follows state" means the story in your head comes out of the state your body is in, not the other way around. Once you catch it happening in real time, a dark story starts to lose its grip.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉 Start free in the...
Neuroception for Beginners: Polyvagal Theory
Ever notice your thoughts get meaner when you feel bad, and softer when you feel good? That's not a coincidence, and it's not a flaw in you. "Story follows state" means the story in your head comes out of the state your body is in, not the other way around.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉 Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/start
📘 Prefer to read, or want to support t...
Deb Dana's Polyvagal Ladder
You can't just decide to calm down, sorry to say. The Polyvagal Ladder is a simple metaphor for how your nervous system moves: safety at the top, fight-or-flight in the middle, shutdown at the bottom, one rung at a time. Once you can see which rung you're on, a lot of the reactions you've beaten yourself up over start to make sense, and stop feeling like proof that something's wrong with you.
the Polyvagal Current - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/polyvagal-current
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stu...
The Autonomic Nervous System, and the Polyvagal Theory (Explained Simply)
You don't decide to beat your heart, take your next breath, or digest your lunch. Something else runs all of that, every second, without checking in with you. That's your autonomic nervous system. This episode breaks down what Polyvagal Theory is in plain language and how it questions the old "sympathetic vs. parasympathetic" idea.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉 Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/start
📘 Prefer to read, or...
Challenging Your Paradigm: The Shift in Thinking Before the Science
"That's bulls***." That was my honest first reaction, back in 2018, to the work I now build my entire career around.
In this episode of the Stuck Not Broken audiobook, I invite you to challenge your paradigm:
How I came to Polyvagal Theory, and nearly dismissed itWhat a paradigm is, and why you need a new one before the science can landThe urge most of us feel to skip ahead to the fix, and why there isn't one to skip to👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stu...
Season 2: Full Audiobook - Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm
After seven years and nearly 300 episodes, I'm trying something I don't think anyone else is doing: giving you all of my Polyvagal Theory knowledge, directly. And free.
Season 2 of the Stuck Not Broken podcast is different from the regular show. It's the full audiobook of my first book, Stuck Not Broken: Book 1 - Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm, read chapter by chapter, right here in the feed. No book to buy. No course. Just the whole thing.
If you've ever wanted to actually understand your nervous system, what it's doing and why, this is the place...
What's My Story? Where Your Unstucking Begins
What if the stories you tell yourself about your worth, your past, and how you got here aren't the whole truth, and you're still the one holding the pen?
This is Episode 1 of the Stuck Not Broken audiobook: Book 1 - Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm. We start by questioning the stories you have about yourself and open the possibility of a new one.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉 Start free in the commun...
What Is a "Gentle Rebel"? A Conversation on Creativity and Sensitivity with Andy Mort
What does it mean to be a "gentle rebel" — and how does creativity fit in? In this episode, I talk with Andy Mort of The Haven community about rebellion as openness rather than aggression, why highly sensitive people often need space and safety to access their creative voice, and how creativity is less about the finished product and more about the ongoing process of becoming yourself. We get into the difference between self-soothing and self-expression, the role of constraints in creative work, why unsolicited criticism rarely helps, and how to take a small, honest first step toward reconnecting with wh...
You're Meditating Wrong (Here's How)
If you've ever sat down to meditate and felt like you were failing at it, this episode is for you. In this special episode, I read a section from my new book, Stuck Not Broken Book Three, on why most people are meditating wrong — and what to do instead. We'll get into:
What meditation actually is through a nervous system lensWhy "clearing your mind" misses the point entirelyHow rejecting the present moment sabotages your practiceWhy quality matters far more than quantityWhat realistic, incremental progress looks likeMeditation isn't about forcing your thoughts to stop or sitting st...
Stoicism & Your Nervous System: How to Practice Amor Fati (Loving Your Fate) with Erick Cloward
In this episode, Justin Sunseri sits down with Erick Cloward, host of the Stoic Coffee Break podcast, for a deep dive into the Stoic practice of Amor Fati, or "loving your fate." Learn how to connect ancient Stoic wisdom with modern nervous system science. Erick and Justin discuss how to use principles from Stoicism and Polyvagal Theory to practice self-regulation, manage anxiety, and build emotional strength.
Discover how to stop fighting reality and instead find power in accepting what is. This conversation explores how to embrace your emotions, turn obstacles into opportunities, and live a more virtuous...
The Polyvagal Bandwagon Is Dying (And I Love It)
The Polyvagal Theory has transformed how we understand the nervous system—but somewhere along the way, it became a wellness industry bandwagon. In this episode, I'm breaking down how a legitimate scientific framework got diluted into oversimplified soundbites, and why that matters for your actual healing.
🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and join the free community here - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=stuck-page
It helps you recognize your state. It never tells you what you are. No quiz, no verdict, no ca...
You Can't Love Someone Out of Shutdown: the Partner's Guide to Love & Self-Regulation
When your partner is in shutdown, you're not just watching it happen—you're in it too. This episode is for the partners who feel like they're losing their person, who don't understand what's happening, and who wonder if they're making it worse. In this episode, I break down:
What shutdown actually looks like (and why it's not a choice)What you CAN'T control (and why that matters)4 concrete ways to influence the situation without trying to fix them The myth of co-regulation and what it actually means How to regulate yourself so you can show up differently Why he...Does EMDR Actually Work? (What the Research Says)
EMDR is everywhere — but do you know what's actually helpful? Or if it is at all?
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has become one of the most talked-about trauma treatments around. But most people — and, honestly, many therapists — reduce it to one image: a finger waving in someone's face. That shorthand is costing people clarity about what's actually working.
In this episode, Justin Sunseri breaks down what EMDR really is beyond the eye movements, what the research actually says about its effectiveness, and — more importantly — what the science says is doing the heavy lifting when it wo...
No, the Polyvagal Theory is NOT Dead: Here's What Critics (and Influencers) Aren't Understanding.
A paper co-authored by 39 scientists called the Polyvagal Theory "untenable" — and now psychology influencers are announcing the Theory is "dead." But is it?
I'm Justin Sunseri, therapist and member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board. That means I review work for Polyvagal Theory accuracy. So let me actually look at the claims.
In this episode, I break down Paul Grossman's paper "Why the Polyvagal Theory Is Untenable." We need to objectively check whether his criticisms accurately represent what the theory actually says. Because if they don't, the counterarguments are moot.
Links mentioned:
Gr...Five Common Self-Help Habits That Accidentally Keep Your Nervous System Sensitized and Stuck
Is your self-help routine actually making things worse?
The self-help industry has one answer for everything: do more. More habits, more discipline, more effort. But for a nervous system that's already overwhelmed — stuck in sympathetic flight/fight, freeze overdrive, or dorsal shutdown — more doing can mean more frustration, more overwhelm, and more defeat.
In this episode, I break down 5 common self-help habits that may be working against you if you don't yet have the nervous system capacity for them.
Capacity Builder Live (live meditation sessions) → https://www.stucknotbroken.com/c/calendar/?topics=182524 Unstucking Academ...
Building Emotional Capacity Before Processing Past Traumas
Stop forcing yourself to relive the most painful moments of your life before your body is ready to handle them.
Traditional therapy often skips the most critical step — building the physiological capacity to actually process what comes up. Justin Sunseri breaks down why flooding your system with past trauma makes things worse, and what to do instead.
🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and join the free community here - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=stuck-page
It helps you recognize your...
Why Meditation May Not Work Well for People in Freeze
Justin Sunseri dives deep into the paradox of meditation and anxiety. If you've ever felt that meditation or breathing exercises make you more anxious, you're not alone—and you're definitely not broken. Justin explains how your nervous system might be signaling for a different approach, especially for those who experience freeze dominance.
🌸 What You'll Learn:
Why freeze types often need movement instead of stillness The three reasons you might experience anxiety after safety practices How to work within your capacity and avoid overwhelming your system Movement-based alternatives to traditional meditation Understanding the "thawing" process and what to ex...Is Your Diagnosis Part of the Problem? Healing the Nervous System vs. Managing a Disorder
Does a mental health diagnosis explain why you are suffering, or does it just give your suffering a name?
In this episode, I challenge the traditional way we look at mental health labels. While a diagnosis (like depression, anxiety, or ADHD) can be a helpful shorthand for professionals, it often becomes a trap for the person receiving it—convincing them they are "broken" rather than adapting to their life context.
To illustrate this, I share the story of two hypothetical clients: Penny and Milton. Both come to therapy with the exact same heavy symptoms.
Pe...Steadying the Waters: How Your Nervous System Affects Your Stoic Practice
What if I told you that your ability to practice Stoicism isn't just about willpower or mindset—but about the actual physiological state of your nervous system? In this episode, I dive deep into a profound quote from Epictetus that perfectly illustrates how our autonomic nervous system affects our capacity to respond wisely to life's challenges.
Using the metaphor of water, light, and appearances, we'll explore:• Why some days Stoic practices feel effortless while other days feel impossible• How your nervous system state acts as a "filter" for all incoming reality• The real reason willpower alone isn't enough f...
Sockless Mindfulness: A Parenting Lesson from My 10-Year-Old
There's more to me than Polyvagal Theory—I'm also a dad. And sometimes the best lessons come from the most unexpected places... like watching my son walk barefoot in sandals through a cold, rainy parking lot.
In this reflective episode, I share a simple family moment that reminded me: mindfulness looks different for everyone. When my son told me he loves feeling "the air flowing between his toes," I realized he'd found his own way to be present—even if it made his parents cringe.
Key Takeaways:
→ Kids often know what they need and ca...
"I Don't Think About It Anymore" — Why That Doesn't Mean You're Over It
"That was a long time ago. I don't think it affects me anymore."
Have you ever said this about something from your past? In this deeply personal episode, Justin shares his own recent experience of discovering how past trauma still lives in the body—even when we're not thinking about it.
After a major spinal surgery in 1997, Justin thought he'd moved on. But when new back issues required x-rays nearly 30 years later, he felt something unexpected surface: a saddened familiarity, an inward collapse. The past was still there, waiting.
This episode offers a re...
Hit It Back: A Lesson in Playfulness & Seizing the Moment
A balloon floated down from the hotel ceiling. My son said, "Hit it back."
I was sitting on a bench, quietly processing—reflecting on a loud, joyful Italian family reunion the night before, thinking about my upbringing, the conversations with my brothers, how my wife and I are raising our own kids. I wanted to stay in that quiet space.
But then a wave of irritation hit me. And in that fraction of a second before the balloon touched my head, a thought arrived:
This moment may never happen again.
In th...
What to do When Your Partner Cycles Between Shutdown and Fight
When your spouse is dysregulated, shut down, or lashing out in anger—what's really happening? And more importantly, what can YOU do about it?
In this episode, I break down:
✓ The biological difference between being technically safe and *feeling* safe
✓ Why your partner may not identify you as a safety cue (even if you're trying)
✓ The "Polyvagal Ladder"—how shutdown → anger → safety actually works
✓ Why fight activation coming out of shutdown is actually a GOOD sign
✓ The painful relationship cycle (and how to break it)
✓ 4 practical tips to sh...
AI Therapists Are Coming in 2026 And I'm Not Sure That's Good
Two years ago, I said AI couldn't replace therapists. I was wrong—about the technology, anyway. In late 2025, AI can now see you, hear your voice, and remember everything you say. But just because it can doesn't mean it should. In this episode, I'm exploring what's actually possible, who AI might actually help, and the uncomfortable questions we're not asking yet. This one might upset you. Good.
🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and join the free community here - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campa...
Announcing the Self-Regulation Coach AI App
Have you ever wished for a daily guide on your nervous system regulation journey? One that offers structure without being overwhelming, and personalized support without the need for intensive coaching?
In this special announcement episode, Justin introduces a project he's been working on for months: the Self-Regulation Coach. Discover the "middle path" to getting unstuck—a tool designed for those who thrive with daily structure, gentle nudges, and expert guidance right in their pocket.
Learn how this AI-powered app creates a personalized, step-by-step roadmap tailored to your nervous system. With bite-sized daily lessons, exclusive micro-mindfulness pr...
Pendulation: Why Some Regulate Naturally & Some Don't
Is nervous system regulation a natural skill or a conscious effort? In this episode, we delve into the skill of pendulation—the mindful shift between safety and defense—and explore why it appears effortless for some but feels impossible for others.
Discover the "carnival game" analogy for understanding your nervous system's capacity, learn how natural pendulation occurs in processes like grieving, and understand where you might fall on the spectrum of "stuckness." Justin breaks down how anyone, from those just "getting by" to those feeling deeply stuck, can learn to practice pendulation and transform it from a deli...
Why You Feel Drained After Therapy (and How to Fix it)
Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity.
In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that builds resilience instead of burning you out. You'll learn how to work with your therapist to anchor in your safety state, mindfully "tiptoe" to the edge of discomfort, and safely return—a pr...
The Way You Understand & Manage Emotions is WRONG (Here's What To Do Instead)
Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactics we all use.
Get ready to discover a "weird but effective" body-based approach that offers a sustainable path to emotional regulation, moving beyond just changing thoughts or behaviors. Learn practical steps to connect with your body's...
Polyvagal Approach to Shame and Anger & How to Not Use Pendulation
Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance.
⏰ CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction and Question from Katie
04:10 Therapists' Perspective vs Client Reality
08:27 Understanding Anger, Shame and Pendulation
12:29 Safety First Approach
16:40 The Unstucking Pathway and Academy
🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and jo...
Safety First: Why Prescribed "Trauma Exercises" Can Backfire
A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing.
🔑 Key Topics Covered:
• Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire
• The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states
• Why safety must come before any trauma work
• How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it
• The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing
🎯 My Ap...
Self-Regulation & Mindful Breathing: What if it Was Easier?
Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack."
🎯 What You'll Learn:
• Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation
• How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool
• The difference between coping skills and true self-regulation
• How to connect with your body's natural breathing rhythm
• When prescribed breathing might actually be helpful (and when it's not)
This appr...
3 Strategies to Reduce Overhwhelm and Get Stuff Done
Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list? I share three practical strategies to reduce overwhelm and finally get things done. Learn how to find safety, soften your defensive state, and take small, almost effortless steps forward. This episode is a replay of a free webinar from the Unstucking Academy. Discover actionable tips to improve your daily life and reach your goals without feeling stressed. Tune in and take a step towards living more calmly, confidently, and connected.
00:00 3 Strategies to reduce overwhelm and get stuff done (262)
01:26 intro, about, and goal
01:53 You have things to do<...
the Polyvagal Guide to Boundaries: Why You Need Both Safety AND Fight Activation
Learn how the Polyvagal Theory helps explain healthy boundaries through a combination of safety and sympathetic activation.
Episode Introduction and Context — 0:00
Understanding Ventral Vagal Safety State — 0:34
Balancing Safety and Sympathetic Activation — 1:16
Proactive Practice for Boundary Setting — 3:29
Compassionate Boundary Enforcement — 5:16
Realistic Expectations and Self-Connection — 7:20
Conclusion and Invitation to Unstucking Academy — 10:14
Resources:
⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyvagal-checklist-download-8a9597
🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and join the free community here - http...
What Everyone Gets Wrong About Fawn vs Appease (even the Polyvagal Theory)
What’s the real difference between “fawn” and “appease”? Therapist Justice Sunseri breaks down these trauma responses, how they relate to Polyvagal Theory, and what it means for recovery. Download the free Polyvagal One Pagers in the description for more resources!
00:00 – Episode intro
00:51 – Understanding Fawn and Appeasement
02:11 – Behavioral Adaptations in Severe Situations
03:23 – Appeasement and Social Activation
07:53 – Dissociation and Survival Mechanisms
11:50 – Recovery and Self-Regulation out of Severe Dissociation
15:07 – Episode outro and final thoughts
Resources:
⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyva...
Stop Trying to Change Your Polyvagal State. Do This Instead for True Self Regulation...
Discover why trying to force a change in your polyvagal state might be holding you back from true self-regulation. In this episode, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri challenges the common advice around prescriptive breathing techniques and invites you to connect with your body’s natural rhythms instead. Through insights from a live Q&A, learn how mindful awareness and listening to your body can lead to genuine calm, balance, and lasting change—without counting breaths or forcing a state shift.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction to Inner Balance
0:39 – The Power of Natural Breathing
2:02 – Critique of Prescri...
