Stuck Not Broken

In this episode, Justin Sunseri sits down with Erick Cloward, host of the Stoic Coffee Break podcast, for a deep dive into the Stoic practice of Amor Fati, or "loving your fate." Learn how to connect ancient Stoic wisdom with modern nervous system science. Erick and Justin discuss how to use principles from Stoicism and Polyvagal Theory to practice self-regulation, manage anxiety, and build emotional strength.

Discover how to stop fighting reality and instead find power in accepting what is. This conversation explores how to embrace your emotions, turn obstacles into opportunities, and live a more virtuous...

The Polyvagal Theory has transformed how we understand the nervous system—but somewhere along the way, it became a wellness industry bandwagon. In this episode, I'm breaking down how a legitimate scientific framework got diluted into oversimplified soundbites, and why that matters for your actual healing.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://pla...

When your partner is in shutdown, you're not just watching it happen—you're in it too. This episode is for the partners who feel like they're losing their person, who don't understand what's happening, and who wonder if they're making it worse. In this episode, I break down:

EMDR is everywhere — but do you know what's actually helpful? Or if it is at all?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has become one of the most talked-about trauma treatments around. But most people — and, honestly, many therapists — reduce it to one image: a finger waving in someone's face. That shorthand is costing people clarity about what's actually working.

In this episode, Justin Sunseri breaks down what EMDR really is beyond the eye movements, what the research actually says about its effectiveness, and — more importantly — what the science says is doing the heavy lifting when it wo...

A paper co-authored by 39 scientists called the Polyvagal Theory "untenable" — and now psychology influencers are announcing the Theory is "dead." But is it?

I'm Justin Sunseri, therapist and member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board. That means I review work for Polyvagal Theory accuracy. So let me actually look at the claims.

In this episode, I break down Paul Grossman's paper "Why the Polyvagal Theory Is Untenable." We need to objectively check whether his criticisms accurately represent what the theory actually says. Because if they don't, the counterarguments are moot.

Links mentioned:

Is your self-help routine actually making things worse?

The self-help industry has one answer for everything: do more. More habits, more discipline, more effort. But for a nervous system that's already overwhelmed — stuck in sympathetic flight/fight, freeze overdrive, or dorsal shutdown — more doing can mean more frustration, more overwhelm, and more defeat.

In this episode, I break down 5 common self-help habits that may be working against you if you don't yet have the nervous system capacity for them.

Capacity Builder Live (live meditation sessions) → https://www.stucknotbroken.com/c/calendar/?topics=182524 Unstucking Academ...

Stop forcing yourself to relive the most painful moments of your life before your body is ready to handle them.

Traditional therapy often skips the most critical step — building the physiological capacity to actually process what comes up. Justin Sunseri breaks down why flooding your system with past trauma makes things worse, and what to do instead.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can...

Justin Sunseri dives deep into the paradox of meditation and anxiety. If you've ever felt that meditation or breathing exercises make you more anxious, you're not alone—and you're definitely not broken. Justin explains how your nervous system might be signaling for a different approach, especially for those who experience freeze dominance.

🌸 What You'll Learn:

Does a mental health diagnosis explain why you are suffering, or does it just give your suffering a name?

In this episode, I challenge the traditional way we look at mental health labels. While a diagnosis (like depression, anxiety, or ADHD) can be a helpful shorthand for professionals, it often becomes a trap for the person receiving it—convincing them they are "broken" rather than adapting to their life context.

To illustrate this, I share the story of two hypothetical clients: Penny and Milton. Both come to therapy with the exact same heavy symptoms.

What if I told you that your ability to practice Stoicism isn't just about willpower or mindset—but about the actual physiological state of your nervous system? In this episode, I dive deep into a profound quote from Epictetus that perfectly illustrates how our autonomic nervous system affects our capacity to respond wisely to life's challenges.

Using the metaphor of water, light, and appearances, we'll explore:• Why some days Stoic practices feel effortless while other days feel impossible• How your nervous system state acts as a "filter" for all incoming reality• The real reason willpower alone isn't enough f...

There's more to me than Polyvagal Theory—I'm also a dad. And sometimes the best lessons come from the most unexpected places... like watching my son walk barefoot in sandals through a cold, rainy parking lot.

In this reflective episode, I share a simple family moment that reminded me: mindfulness looks different for everyone. When my son told me he loves feeling "the air flowing between his toes," I realized he'd found his own way to be present—even if it made his parents cringe.

Key Takeaways:

→ Kids often know what they need and ca...

"That was a long time ago. I don't think it affects me anymore."

Have you ever said this about something from your past? In this deeply personal episode, Justin shares his own recent experience of discovering how past trauma still lives in the body—even when we're not thinking about it.

After a major spinal surgery in 1997, Justin thought he'd moved on. But when new back issues required x-rays nearly 30 years later, he felt something unexpected surface: a saddened familiarity, an inward collapse. The past was still there, waiting.

This episode offers a re...

A balloon floated down from the hotel ceiling. My son said, "Hit it back."

I was sitting on a bench, quietly processing—reflecting on a loud, joyful Italian family reunion the night before, thinking about my upbringing, the conversations with my brothers, how my wife and I are raising our own kids. I wanted to stay in that quiet space.

But then a wave of irritation hit me. And in that fraction of a second before the balloon touched my head, a thought arrived:

This moment may never happen again.

In th...

When your spouse is dysregulated, shut down, or lashing out in anger—what's really happening? And more importantly, what can YOU do about it?

In this episode, I break down:

✓ The biological difference between being technically safe and *feeling* safe

✓ Why your partner may not identify you as a safety cue (even if you're trying)

✓ The "Polyvagal Ladder"—how shutdown → anger → safety actually works

✓ Why fight activation coming out of shutdown is actually a GOOD sign

✓ The painful relationship cycle (and how to break it)

✓ 4 practical tips to sh...

Two years ago, I said AI couldn't replace therapists. I was wrong—about the technology, anyway. In late 2025, AI can now see you, hear your voice, and remember everything you say. But just because it can doesn't mean it should. In this episode, I'm exploring what's actually possible, who AI might actually help, and the uncomfortable questions we're not asking yet. This one might upset you. Good.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are rig...

Have you ever wished for a daily guide on your nervous system regulation journey? One that offers structure without being overwhelming, and personalized support without the need for intensive coaching?

In this special announcement episode, Justin introduces a project he's been working on for months: the Self-Regulation Coach. Discover the "middle path" to getting unstuck—a tool designed for those who thrive with daily structure, gentle nudges, and expert guidance right in their pocket.

Learn how this AI-powered app creates a personalized, step-by-step roadmap tailored to your nervous system. With bite-sized daily lessons, exclusive micro-mindfulness pr...

Is nervous system regulation a natural skill or a conscious effort? In this episode, we delve into the skill of pendulation—the mindful shift between safety and defense—and explore why it appears effortless for some but feels impossible for others.

Discover the "carnival game" analogy for understanding your nervous system's capacity, learn how natural pendulation occurs in processes like grieving, and understand where you might fall on the spectrum of "stuckness." Justin breaks down how anyone, from those just "getting by" to those feeling deeply stuck, can learn to practice pendulation and transform it from a deli...

Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity.

In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that builds resilience instead of burning you out. You'll learn how to work with your therapist to anchor in your safety state, mindfully "tiptoe" to the edge of discomfort, and safely return—a pr...

Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactics we all use.

Get ready to discover a "weird but effective" body-based approach that offers a sustainable path to emotional regulation, moving beyond just changing thoughts or behaviors. Learn practical steps to connect with your body's...

Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance.

⏰ CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction and Question from Katie

04:10 Therapists' Perspective vs Client Reality

08:27 Understanding Anger, Shame and Pendulation

12:29 Safety First Approach

16:40 The Unstucking Pathway and Academy

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free c...

A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

• Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire

• The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states

• Why safety must come before any trauma work

• How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it

• The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing

🎯 My Ap...

Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack."

🎯 What You'll Learn:

• Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation

• How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool

• The difference between coping skills and true self-regulation

• How to connect with your body's natural breathing rhythm

• When prescribed breathing might actually be helpful (and when it's not)

This appr...

Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list? I share three practical strategies to reduce overwhelm and finally get things done. Learn how to find safety, soften your defensive state, and take small, almost effortless steps forward. This episode is a replay of a free webinar from the Unstucking Academy. Discover actionable tips to improve your daily life and reach your goals without feeling stressed. Tune in and take a step towards living more calmly, confidently, and connected.

00:00 3 Strategies to reduce overwhelm and get stuff done (262)

01:26 intro, about, and goal

01:53 You have things to do<...

Learn how the Polyvagal Theory helps explain healthy boundaries through a combination of safety and sympathetic activation.

Episode Introduction and Context — 0:00

Understanding Ventral Vagal Safety State — 0:34

Balancing Safety and Sympathetic Activation — 1:16

Proactive Practice for Boundary Setting — 3:29

Compassionate Boundary Enforcement — 5:16

Realistic Expectations and Self-Connection — 7:20

Conclusion and Invitation to Unstucking Academy — 10:14

Resources:

⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyvagal-checklist-download-8a9597

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you'r...

What’s the real difference between “fawn” and “appease”? Therapist Justice Sunseri breaks down these trauma responses, how they relate to Polyvagal Theory, and what it means for recovery. Download the free Polyvagal One Pagers in the description for more resources!

00:00 – Episode intro

00:51 – Understanding Fawn and Appeasement

02:11 – Behavioral Adaptations in Severe Situations

03:23 – Appeasement and Social Activation

07:53 – Dissociation and Survival Mechanisms

11:50 – Recovery and Self-Regulation out of Severe Dissociation

15:07 – Episode outro and final thoughts

Resources:

⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyva...

Discover why trying to force a change in your polyvagal state might be holding you back from true self-regulation. In this episode, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri challenges the common advice around prescriptive breathing techniques and invites you to connect with your body’s natural rhythms instead. Through insights from a live Q&A, learn how mindful awareness and listening to your body can lead to genuine calm, balance, and lasting change—without counting breaths or forcing a state shift.

Timestamps:

0:00 – Introduction to Inner Balance

0:39 – The Power of Natural Breathing

2:02 – Critique of Prescri...

Feeling stuck in old patterns or chronic anxiety? In this episode, you'll hear Janie's inspiring story of moving from a lifelong freeze state to genuine connection and safety. Discover how she overcame emotional numbness, built meaningful relationships, and found practical ways to feel more at ease in her own body. You'll learn:

⌲ Real-life strategies for getting "unstuck" and building safety in your nervous system

⌲ The power of co-regulation and supportive community

⌲ How small, consistent steps can lead to big changes in your sense of calm and confidence

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore r...

A listener shares his struggles with anxiety and attachment issues following a recent breakup. At age 17, Chuck's relationship triggered intense anxiety due to his anxious attachment style, leading to a highly stressful experience. After the relationship ended, Chuck faces persistent anxiety symptoms, fatigue, dizziness, extreme overthinking, and more. Justin discusses the possible states of defense and freeze, the role of safety activation, and offers practical general thoughts for those dealing with similar issues, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, connecting with friends, and building safety activation as pathways to feeling unstuck.

00:00 Introduction and Listener's Story

00:30 Recognizing...

Eva shares her powerful recovery from a Polyvagal shutdown state. She discusses her experiences, valuable insights, and practical tips that have helped her rebuild her sense of safety and connection. Focusing on the polyvagal theory, this episode highlights the importance of small, actionable steps and community support in the path to healing. Join us to discover how Eva went from feeling numb and disconnected to living a more vibrant and engaged life.

00:00 Introduction to Polyvagal Theory and Defensive States

00:22 Eva's Journey: From Shutdown to Recovery

08:22 Understanding and Naming the Defensive State

09:26...

What is neuroception, and what do you do with it? This fourth installment in a five-part series focuses on comprehending and applying neuroception in daily life. Discover practical tips for recognizing the body's subconscious detection of safety, danger, or life-threatening situations before you're consciously aware. Discover the significance of proactive sensory inputs and cultivate nonjudgmental self-awareness. These insights are essential for progressing towards a calmer, more connected life.

00:00 Intro to episode 252

07:00 Neuroception Example: Sarah's First Team Meeting

11:18 How to Easily Start Noticing Neuroception

14:15 Using Your Senses to Identify Neuroception

15:44...

💟 Join the Unstucking Academy - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy

Justin Sunseri delves into the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) with Dr. Stephen Porges, the originator of the Polyvagal Theory, and Karen Onderko, co-author of the new book "Safe and Sound." Discover how SSP, a unique therapy using specifically filtered music, can help alleviate anxiety, depression, and sensory sensitivities by enhancing the nervous system's ability to experience safety. The discussion covers the science behind SSP, its clinical evidence, and its benefits for various conditions from autism to trauma. An insightful conversation that explores the potential of SSP as...

Justin Sunseri reviews 'Safe and Sound' by Steven Porges and Karen Onderko. The book delves into the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), offering 13 real-life case studies and insights from Porges, the creator of Polyvagal Theory. Justin breaks down who the book is for, its content, and his thoughts on its genuine attempt to provide hope and comprehensive information about SSP. If you're curious about SSP and familiar with Polyvagal Theory, this review will help you decide whether this book can be a valuable addition to your collection.

Watch the interview with the authors on YouTube (or listen...

In this episode of 'Stuck Not Broken,' therapist and coach Justin Sunseri provides practical guidance on applying Polyvagal Theory to everyday life through validation and normalization techniques. Learn to bring compassion to your stuck defensive states through acknowledging and understanding your emotions and thoughts. Justin walks you through simple practices to help you live more calmly and connected. This episode includes skills practice and insights from the Unstucking Academy, making it an essential listen for anyone looking to improve their emotional resilience. Join us as we delve deeper into self-compassion and understanding through Polyvagal Theory.

00:00 Introduction...

Justin dives into the second tip of understanding your polyvagal state - increasing passive safety cues via your environment. Learn how to better understand and implement passive safety cues in your home to enhance your sense of safety and relaxation. Discover practical, easy steps to create a Passive Safety Environment, focusing on scent, lighting, and physical space.

00:00 Intro to episode 250

01:05 Safety and the Brainstem

07:49 Lighting in the Passive Safety Environment

09:37 Physical Space in the Passive Safety Environment

10:54 Take one step today.

12:31 Foundations Subscription Offer & outro

🤩 Rea...

Understand and identify your polyvagal primary and mixed states. This episode covers connection, escape, aggression, collapse, play, motivation, stillness, intimacy, freeze, and appeasement and fawn states. Start identifying your states today.

00:00 Intro: Apply your Polyvagal Knowledge

02:27 Do you feel like connecting?

04:30 Do you feel like escaping or aggressing?

05:56 Do you feel like collapsing?

07:35 Do you feel ready to have with someone else?

08:41 Do you feel motivated?

10:24 Do you feel reflective and mindful?

11:51 Do you want to connect with someone else?

13:51 Do...

Justin Sunseri explains the concept of dorsal vagal shutdown, a state of immobilization and resource conservation in the face of life threats. He outlines how this shutdown affects emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and connections with others, making it difficult for individuals to function normally. Justin provides insights on recognizing shutdown in loved ones, emphasizing the importance of compassion, validation, and meaningful connection. He offers practical steps for supporting someone in shutdown, including validating their experience, normalizing their response, and connecting with them without adding pressure. The episode concludes with a parenting example illustrating effective ways to help a loved one...

Justin Sunseri discusses transitioning from a prolonged state of shutdown to experiencing freeze. He explains the differences between shutdown and freeze through the lens of polyvagal theory, and provides insights into the healing process. Justin discusses the importance of building a safety state and how to mindfully connect with different states of defense. He also introduces his new course 'Stillness to Sympathetic,' designed to help individuals harness emerging sympathetic activation for meaningful goals. Viewer questions and feedback are encouraged.

00:00 Introduction and Viewer Question

01:02 Understanding Shutdown and Freeze

03:11 The Process of Coming Out...

Justin Sunseri tackles a common belief among his clients—the necessity of identifying the root cause of anxiety, anger, or depression to address these feelings. Justin reads and responds to a community member's query about 'safety anchors' and their effectiveness when the source of anxiety is unknown. He explains that while knowing the trigger can be helpful, it is not essential for alleviating anxiety. By permitting emotions and listening to what the body needs, individuals can reduce the intensity of their feelings. Justin emphasizes reframing the idea of 'fixing' emotions to 'unsticking' them and validates the importance of feeling an...

In this episode of Stuck Not Broken, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri explores how understanding and embracing the different states of your nervous system can dramatically enhance your productivity, creativity, and overall well-being. Justin delves into the Polyvagal Theory, explaining the primary and mixed states of safety, mobility, and shutdown, and offers practical tips for accessing and utilizing these states to achieve greater focus and efficiency in your daily life. Learn how to create a more mindful and balanced approach to work, creativity, and personal growth.

00:00 Introduction: Unlocking Your Productivity

00:17 Understanding the Nervous System

This episode provides a platform for survey participants to offer encouragement, personal insights, and advice to those also experiencing shutdown. The shared experiences discuss common themes such as shame, isolation, the body's autonomic responses, and ways to work compassionately through shutdown states. The episode also highlights the importance of small steps, self-compassion, and human connection in the journey towards safety and self-regulation.

🔸 Shutdown Experiences Survey YouTube playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0wCusCOxhNUTWUAnJke_hpmNEEQ0atZZ

🔸 Shutdown Experiences Survey audio playlist - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/e8b8596b-813f-4c1c-9466-33db3...