Unconsciously Competent

🎙️ Unconsciously Competent Podcast – Episode 7

Title: The Table Has Changed

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, permanent hosts Kash and Tahoe are joined by guest co-host Chris for a timely and necessary conversation about the financial reality of relationships and households in 2026.

Using recent employment trends, cost of living pressures, and lived experiences as context, the discussion explores whether the traditional expectation of a single provider is still realistic for today’s average household. From shifting gender roles and economic instability to emotional labor and partnership dynamics, the conversation challenges long-standing beliefs about what it truly mea...

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, the conversation shifts from theory to real-life love fast… and somewhere along the way, Kash starts cooking. We dive into love languages, not just what they are, but how they actually function in real relationships. Loving someone isn’t about memorizing categories, it’s about learning how to love in the ways you’re capable while stretching toward the ways your partner needs.

We talk effort. We talk intentionality. We talk about people saying “don’t give certain benefits before marriage,” and challenge that idea by asking a real question: If marriage is forever, sh...

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, the conversation shifts from theory to real-life love fast… and somewhere along the way, Kash starts cooking. We dive into love languages, not just what they are, but how they actually function in real relationships. Loving someone isn’t about memorizing categories, it’s about learning how to love in the ways you’re capable while stretching toward the ways your partner needs.

We talk effort. We talk intentionality. We talk about people saying “don’t give certain benefits before marriage,” and challenge that idea by asking a real question: If marriage is forever, sh...

In this episode of Unconsciously Competent, Kash, Tahoe, and Chris explore how tone, delivery, and emotional dismissiveness can undermine even the most valid messages. Using real panel clips as a case study, they break down the difference between intention and impact, and why people shut down when feedback feels harsh, threatening, or dismissive.

The conversation dives into the psychology and brain science behind communication, explaining how tone affects perception, how the brain processes threat versus learning, and why accountability, empathy, and awareness must work together for growth to happen. They also unpack why advice is often rejected, how...

Are we actually listening to each other, or just waiting for our turn to speak? In this episode of Unconsciously Competent, Kash and Tahoe dive into one of the most misunderstood parts of connection: the difference between hearing someone and truly understanding how a situation affects them. From relationships and accountability to co-parenting and emotional expression, this conversation breaks down why good intentions aren’t always enough.

This episode features a powerful Pick We segment where Kash and Tahoe reverse roles to debate a co-parenting scenario. Tahoe argues from the perspective of the primary parent and mother, while Ka...

In this honest, hilarious, and heartfelt episode, Kash, Tahoe, and special guest Billy get into the complexities of identity, sexuality, and self-expression with humor leading the way. Billy shares what it means to call himself a “homophobic gay man,” using comedy to navigate his connection to the LGBTQ+ community while also critiquing its extremes. He shared his childhood experience of being SA’d that he feels gave him no option to be straight. 

Together, the trio explores topics like love bombing, attachment styles, discernment, and the lasting effects of childhood trauma, including Billy’s own experiences of sexual abuse and how...

Welcome to the true birth of Unconsciously Competent Podcast! In this pilot episode, Kash and Tahoe unpack accountability, dating transitions, vulnerability in men, discernment in relationships, and the patience required to grow something real, whether that’s love, self-mastery, or a goal you refuse to quit on. The topics may feel familiar at times but the perspectives we share will shift you! 

Our pilot births our signature segment “Pick We”. One topic, two opposing arguments, and one rule that matters most… you can’t argue your own position. It’s about learning how the other side thinks, not proving you’r...