3D? Yes!

This one is a day late. who cares? Time is a meaningless construct that we stake a good part of our existence on and for what? So we can be stressed in rush hour that we are going to be late for our jobs that don't matter? Tomorrow is yesterday, next week is Thursday, who cares.

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I don't got nothing this week. These boys talk about Lego AGAIN. It's just like, when is enough enough y'know? There is only so much anecdotal Lego stuff I can prattle on about before I run out of gas. Smash that comment. button or whatever the hell. I don't care. Call me when you get home. I love you.

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Did you guys ever get Mega Bloks instead of Legos? They were always like a little cheaper and your grandma would get them because she'd be like "they won't know the difference." But the plastic is a little bit different and then if you mix them with your other Legos they'd never quite fit right? They also had more of a rounded cobblestone type edge instead of the flush Lego edge so they didn't really match either. Although, Mega Bloks did do this cool dragon set and they released a movie called Dragons Fire and Ice which I remember...

A lot of folks give Michael Bay a hard time because he has never made a good movie, but to that I ask, have you ever actually seen a Michael Bay movie other than Transformers? I sure as heck haven't. Maybe 2005's The Island starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson beats absolute balls. Set in the dystopian future of 2019, one dude a week gets to leave to an island that is like not contaminated with sick or something? Sounds cool. Could be a really good flick actually. But here's the thing, it's impossible to know, because I'm never going...

My phone filters out spam texts but my iMessage (I have an iPhone and I think that is pretty farm forward) is connected to my laptop and my laptop does not filter out spam messages. So, when I log into my laptop I will sometimes get notifications from spam messages that are like days old. Usually I just tune them out but I just get hit with this really beauty from kristincox2656jgw@outlook.lv and she's lonely and, "open to using intimate accessories." So, pretty forward from Kristin if I'm honest. Lathering it on a little thick if...

Idris Elba is going to be Man-at-arms in the new He-Man live action film. Pretty good casting I think. I also think Alison Brie as Evil-Lyn is pretty good casting. It's not all candy and roses over at the live action He-Man casting tent however, I do have a couple large grievances, one is Jared Leto as Skeletor. How this man keeps getting cast is beyond me. The real issue I have though is that there has been no indication of Orko in this flick. And, what is He-Man without Orko? Not much. There's rumours that he will be...

Me? Have I ever been in a fight? No way man, I'm a lover, there's no way no how you'd catch me in a fight. However, one time in middle school there was this older kid who I challenged to a fight and he rightfully whooped my ass. Slammed my head into a locker like six times, really hurt. I deserved it though, I was like "let's fight" and he said "no" but I said "let's fight" like six more times so we did. He rightfully whooped my ass. Slammed my head into a locker like six times. No...

I've got like two minutes to write this because I've got to go to work. That's right, some of us have bills to pay. We don't all have the luxury to sit on the couch with our hands in our pants wondering who is going to be on Letterman tonight. Letterman isn't on the air anymore idiot. Neither is Leno, or Carson, or Ferguson. The old guard is dead and the new guard ain't so shiny anymore. Kimmel is dated, Fallon is a shell of a man, and Conan left. Late night is dead pal, and I've got to...

Joe had the freaking audacity to text me and say, and I quote, "For the description of this episode I want you to mention I edited out about a million sniffles on my end because holy this fella was sniffin." ew dude. What the actual even heck is this dude doing man. I have so little in my life. All I've got is writing these descriptions and my Thursday night backgammon game with Ricky down at the park. He's this old blind war vet and he'd got a heart of gold. And you're telling me that now Joe wants...

You guys ever see Pokémon The First Movie? Absolute banger man. There's that one scene where Ash and Pikachu are battling some trainer and the trainer brings out this freaking cool elephant wheel Pokémon (donphan)? Goated scene man. Pikachu creams the wheel guy but the wheel guy is cooler. Then, later in the movie, Mewtwo watches all the Pokémon cry, which, GOATED scene btw, and is like "Yo, let me drop the most philosophical wisdom y'all ever heard" and then he flies away with all his clones? Crazy stuff man. The first time I ever got hig...

Luke says this one is the 18th game and the 19th episode which clearly demonstrates that he don't know math for nothin'. What? Did they not talk about a game for an episode? Luke is out here believing he had a whole episode without a game. It's the 17th episode and the 18th game. Read one book my guy. A single book will do you some good. Which, speaking of, did you guys ever read that book Bridge to Terabithia? The one where that kid drowns in a river because her bridge is a rope? First of all, ropes...

You ever go to the zoo and see a dude with like a full entire 3 foot telephoto lens attached to his camera? He's like pointing it at a flamingo or whatever but it's a full 3 foot telephoto lens attached to a camera that has to cost at least $2000. What do you think dude does with those photos after the zoo? Does he look through them and cream his jeans? Does he print them out and hang them on the wall? He's not sending them to NatGeo and saying "I captured this photo of Noodles the Flamingo, born and raised...

Wake up losers, it's the sleepy episode. That's right, the sun is asleep, the moon is out, and mom and dad aren't coming home. They left you all alone because you were causing pressures in their marriage that they didn't expect. It was either leave you alone or get a divorce and they chose the former. Better one lonely child than two sad adults right? I mean you have your whole life ahead of you! You're going to be okay! Pick yourself by the bootstraps! Might I add, by the way, that the expression "pick yourself up by the...

When I was a kid, like the fifth or sixth grade probably, this nice older boy named Dylan would sit by me on the bus and ask me all sorts of questions. One day he asked me what my favourite movie was and I wanted to seem mature and cool so I said the first Iron Man, which, has never actually been my favourite movie. To this very day I feel guilty that I lied to Dylan, because that's just the kinda stank I live my life with. I don't even know what my favourite movie would have been...

"Neigh neigh" says the horse, and "Nay Nay!" is what I say to income inequality. Now all you jerks who keep saying that horses are better allies than me can back off. Also, did you know that horses have weird little fingers under their horse shoes? Seriously. Weird little freaky alien fingers. Do you want them championing your rights? Or me, a guy with a podcast. Think about that one.

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Did you know that soccer originally was created by English bulldogs so they could get their owners out of the house to smoke pipe and play mahjong? Think about it, dogs only have feet and humans have hands and use those dang things all the time. So dogs are like, this will keep them occupied because hands aren't allowed and then we can finally play mahjong. Then, in the whenever year, that artist made them play poker not mahjong in those paintings, which is totally erasure and I have a huge issue with it. So now bulldogs aren't represented...

My favourite Lego set? I'm glad you asked friend. It's a complicated story. When I was a kid, my mom would give us $100 to spend on our birthdays on whatever we wanted. So, I went to the toy store and there were these cool ass sets called "Dino-Attack." Look them up right now, they are wild. Anyways, the one I wanted was a freaking helicopter shooting lasers at a freaking t-rex, it was valued at exactly $100. Then I saw that I could get a Harry Potter dragon Lego and some other Lego I don't even remember for $100. My kid...

In the episode Luke says he'll upload a photo to the show notes. I'm sure you've noticed there is no photo. That's because that dude is a straight clown and I'm not doing anything he says until he pays me. This loser borrowed $14 from me in 2006 and I've been charging interest. Odds are I'm not getting my money, I know that, but that doesn't mean I have to just do what he says. You gotta fight the power in anyway that you can.

Email Luke and tell him to give me my freaking money.

Everyone's always on Disney's jock acting like they are a big deal. "oh cool theme park, cool movie, cool branded diapers." And I'm like "whatever dude. Did Disney ever release a 3Ds podcast? No." But then the guy whose house I'm in is all like "why are you in my house? I'm calling the cops." So then I'm on the run, leaping over hedges and stuff because this dude called the cops, all because I broke into his house to tell him about my 3Ds podcast. Cancel culture is so crazy dude.

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Buckle up folks, there are three colons in this episodes title. Why? Because I don't give a dang. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm sort of the bad boy of podcast episode descriptions. Also, Doctor Kirby PhD doesn't actually present this episode. I know some of you clowns are going to be really upset about that. If you are, I want to hear about it. Seriously. I'll drop the email below. I'll respond to every single dang thing that comes through. I swear.

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Get at me...

This week is our first twofer. We play two games and that is twice as many as one but one less than three. In the show "30 Rock" there is a character who they nickname Twofer who is played by Keith Powell. They call him that because he is a Black guy and a Harvard Guy. Luke and Joe are white and didn't go to Harvard so if either of them worked for the show in "30 Rock" they would probably have a different nickname. Maybe they'd call us "The High Flying Kids." Yeah, "The High Flying Kids" is cool. If...

Luke and Joe talk about a Youtube video in the beginning of this episode but I can't find the dang link to the exact one they reference. I found a different link, but it doesn't have the funny comment in it so what's the point? I'll still link it, but I'll be sad about it. Anyways, we play Dream Trigger 3D for this episode. It's frenetic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE8GNoIJtbI&t=1s

Watch out The Big Apple! Heads up Far East! Buckle up Space! That's right, Luke and Joe travel to all these locations in the third dimensionist adaptation of everyone's favourite traffic (and tax) dodging frog. I'm serious about that tax dodging thing. One of these days Frogger is going to the slammer and everyone is going to be confused except me because I know. Why do you think Frogger is always dashing through traffic? He's fleeing the IRS.

Some games are good, some games are bad, and some games are Lego: The Hobbit. If you love Lego and you love The Hobbit you defo will not love this here video game. It may not be the best game on the 3DS, but it does make for the best episode of 3D? Yes! Thanks Lego: The Hobbit.

A real heavy hitter this time. WarioWare Gold is what we play and it's probably the best WarioWare game ever made. So far the 3DS is nothing but bangers. Maybe it's the perfect console? Maybe there are no bad games on it at all? Maybe god is real and he is speaking to us through the 3DS? Maybe all of this, the turmoil, the euphoria, all serves the bigger picture? Maybe it's a tapestry being woven with WarioWare Gold at the focal point?

Two weeks, two sequels, two brothers, three dimensions. Blazblue Continuum Shift II comes out of nowhere and knocks our socks off. It knocks them off so hard that it made the title of the episode extra long. The title is a direct quote from the game by the way. Good game. Funny quotes in there.

Luke and Joe start their 3DS journey by getting cozy with Joker, the Phantom Thieves, and a bunch of other folks in their New Cinema Labyrinth. Anyone else have a really hard time spelling "labyrinth" ? I have a really hard time spelling "labyrinth." The "y" isn't ever where I think it's going to be. Anyways, super strong opening episode, share with your friends.