You Can Be Both

What happens when you turn your most personal struggles into a mission to help others find hope, healing, and belonging? One year, 52 episodes, and countless conversations later, You Can Be Both is celebrating its first anniversary! In this special episode, Lauren Lanzaretta looks back at why she started this podcast, what she's learned along the way, the conversations that changed her life, and what's coming next.Lauren opens up about growing up evangelical, discovering she was gay, spending years in the closet, and the journey that led her to reconcile her faith and sexuality. She shares why she created...

What happens when a successful Christian music artist begins questioning the beliefs she's expected to represent, discovers she's gay, and realizes she can no longer participate in an industry that doesn't reflect who she is? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with singer-songwriter Jennifer Knapp to discuss coming out as gay, her experience in contemporary Christian music, religious deconstruction, LGBTQ+ identity, and what it means to reclaim your faith and find your voice.Jennifer shares her journey from growing up in Kansas and entering the Christian music industry to becoming one of the...

What happens when a queer therapist who grew up in a nontraditional family enters the Christian church, questions everything she was taught about sexuality, and discovers the lasting impact of religious trauma? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Ann Russo, licensed clinical social worker, theologian, and creator of the Religious Trauma Treatment Model, to discuss LGBTQ+ identity, Christian deconstruction, purity culture, and healing from religious trauma. Ann shares her journey from attending evangelical churches and studying theology to becoming a therapist who helps people navigate the complicated relationship between faith, sexuality, and...

What happens when a gay man raised in an evangelical missionary family leaves Christianity, then starts asking questions about God again? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with comedian, actor, and writer Matt LeGrande to discuss being gay and Christian, deconstruction, family, and finding a personal understanding of faith.Matt shares why he stepped away from the church and how he is exploring spirituality, rereading the Bible, and questioning beliefs he once accepted. He also opens up about the pain of knowing his mother believes he is going to hell because he is...

What happens when one of the most well-known gay Christian voices becomes the target of criticism from within the LGBTQ+ community? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Matthew Vines to address the controversy surrounding his New York Times article, “I’m Gay, Not Queer. It Matters.” Matthew responds directly to the criticism that he is too conservative, too focused on acceptance, or trying to conform LGBTQ+ people to traditional Christian values. He explains what he actually meant, why he believes LGBTQ people should be free to think for themselves, and why being gay should...

What happens when you start questioning everything you were taught about God, Christianity, women, relationships, and your own identity? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Hope with Holly to talk about Christian nationalism, religious trauma, deconstruction, patriarchy, relationships, and finding the freedom to become your authentic self.Holly spent years deeply involved in evangelical Christianity and eventually began questioning the fundamentalist beliefs she had been taught. Today, she helps people heal from religious and relationship abuse, build healthier boundaries, and reclaim their identity.In this episode:🔥 Christian nationalism & fundamentalist Christianity✝️ Questioning everything you were ta...

Can you really change your sexual orientation? And why is same-sex attraction “unwanted” anyways?In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren takes a deeper look at the “ex-gay” movement and the idea of “unwanted same-sex attraction.” She explores the difference between sexual orientation, trauma, shame, self-destructive behavior, and healing—and asks whether the goal should be changing your sexuality or actually healing from the experiences that shaped how you see yourself.Lauren also talks about religious trauma, internalized shame, the pressure LGBTQ+ Christians can feel to reject their sexuality, and the belief that you have to choose between being...

What happens when you’re gay, you love Jesus, and you’ve spent years believing those two things can’t coexist?In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Brian Nietzel, LGBTQ+ advocate and co-founder of Renovus and the Making Things Right project, for an honest conversation about faith, sexuality, family, and finding peace with God.Brian shares his journey from conservative Christianity and years of celibacy to coming out, wrestling with Scripture, and realizing he didn't have to choose between being gay and following Jesus.They talk about coming out to his family, religious trauma...

What makes a healthy lesbian relationship work?

How do you navigate communication, conflict, intimacy, and keeping the spark alive?

In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, a leadership psychologist, relationship coach, and director of the Conscious Leadership Academy at the University of San Diego, for an honest conversation about lesbian relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly.They discuss dating, attachment, boundaries, relationship trauma, navigating exes, codependency versus healthy interdependence, maintaining individuality, and becoming a healthier partner.And yes—we talk about sex, desire, body confidence, roma...

What happens when two gay Christian men fall in love—but one of them is a pastor?In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Kade Rogers and Dr. Greg Neal, a married gay Christian couple whose journey brings together love, faith, coming out, church, and the struggle to live authentically.Greg is an ordained pastor and theologian who spent years wrestling with his sexuality, faith, and the fear of what coming out could mean for his ministry. Kade came from a very different background, but when the two met, a friendship unexpectedly gr...

What happens when you're told you can't be gay AND have a relationship with God?

In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with professional MMA and bare-knuckle fighter Miranda Barber for an honest conversation about being lesbian, Christian, family rejection, relationships, faith, and finding your purpose.

Miranda shares her story of coming out as a teenager, leaving home at 17, finding her identity in Christ, and learning not to let other people's opinions determine her relationship with God.She also talks about her career as a fighter, toxic relationships, resilience, and why...

What happens when you grow up believing there is only one path to God… and then realize that path requires you to deny who you are?

In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Dr. Sara Glass, a psychotherapist, author, and lesbian who was raised in an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn.

Sara shares what it was like growing up in a deeply religious community where girls were prepared for marriage from a young age, sexuality was heavily controlled, and questioning the rules could mean losing your family and co...

What happens when the voice you were taught to believe was God’s voice becomes the voice telling you that you’re going to hell?In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with licensed psychotherapist SC Nealy, an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist specializing in religious trauma, LGBTQ+ issues, and relationship counseling, to unpack what happens when faith, identity, shame, fear, and trauma become intertwined.SC shares their personal experience growing up in an ultra-conservative evangelical environment, being taught from a young age to fear LGBTQ+ identity, and eventually finding freedom in embracing who they are. SC a...

Is street preaching actually biblical — or is it pushing people further away from Jesus?

In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta takes a deeper look at street preachers, aggressive evangelism, and the Christians who show up at Pride events with signs of condemnation. After several uncomfortable encounters with street evangelists herself, Lauren asks an important question:

Is this really how Jesus taught Christians to reach people?

We look at what the Bible actually says about evangelism, how Jesus treated people, religious hypocrisy, the psychology be...

What should Christian parents do when their child comes out as gay, transgender, or nonbinary?

In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Shari Bruck—a mother of two LGBTQ+ children—to discuss faith deconstruction, religious fear, unconditional love, and what it truly means to support your child.

Raised in a strict Catholic family, Shari grew up surrounded by religious shame, guilt, patriarchy, and the belief that there was only one acceptable path to God. As she began questioning those teachings, she developed a sp...

If you've ever wondered whether you can be both LGBTQ+ and Christian, this conversation is for you.

In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Mattie Mae Motl—a progressive Bible scholar, Master of Divinity graduate, and PhD candidate studying gender, sexuality, and the New Testament—to unpack some of Christianity's biggest questions.

Together they discuss:

✨ Is being gay really a sin?
✨ What the Bible actually says about LGBTQ people
✨ The "clobber verses" explained
✨ Why Jesus never mentio...

In this powerful conversation, Lauren Lanzaretta interviews Pastor Kristian Smith—a straight, fifth-generation Baptist preacher and fierce LGBTQ+ advocate—about his journey from embedded homophobia to becoming one of the most vocal allies in the Black church community.

Kristian shares how a simple question asked in seminary—"Did you choose your sexuality?"—completely transformed his theology. He discusses why so much homophobia is rooted in sexual discomfort, the importance of visibility in Black and queer communities, and what real allyship looks like in 2026.

This is a must-watch for anyone seeking...

Together, they discuss:

Rather than giving up on America, Lauren and Tim explore why the country's 250th birthday can be an invitation to con...

Pride Month isn't about celebration. It's about survival.

Lauren Lanzaretta breaks down the hard truth about why LGBTQ people need Pride Month in 2026. And why the criticism, the bills, the "Straight Pride Month" debate, and the political weaponization of trans people prove we need it now more than ever.

THE FACTS:

Sara Cunningham, founder of Free Mom Hugs, shares the powerful story of how she went from rejecting her gay son to leading an international movement that has impacted hundreds of thousands.

It wasn't easy. When Sara's youngest son came out to her at 21, she didn't take it well. She was frozen in fear — terrified he would be condemned to hell, convinced that accepting him would make her a sinner too. She shamed him with the very best of intentions.

But everything changed in 2014 when her son invited her to he...

For more than 20 years, Leah Rae Yawn (formerly Shafer) was a gospel worship leader at Saddleback Church. She sang for Women of Faith, worked with Michael W. Smith and Natalie Grant, recorded multiple albums, and sung the national anthem at NFL games. Her voice and faith were her livelihood, her heart, and her life.

Then she came out as gay — and lost it all.

In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Leah Rae opens up about her journey from a strict Christian upbringing to realizing she was bi...

For nearly 2,000 years, the word "homosexual" did not appear in the Bible. So what changed in 1946?

Kathy Baldock is a leading voice on LGBTQ+ issues within Christianity and the author of "Forging a Sacred Weapon" and "Walking the Bridgeless Canyon." She's also featured in the award-winning documentary "1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture." In 1946, Bible translators made a controversial decision to add the word "homosexuality" to the Revised Standard Version of the Bible — a word that had never appeared in the original Greek and Hebrew texts.

In this powerful conversation, Ka...

Michael Passons was a founding member of Avalon, one of the biggest Christian music groups of all time. He wrote and performed "Testify to Love," a song that became an icon of Christian music. But when he came out as gay, he was forced out of the band and lost everything.

Now, Michael is rewriting his story — and breaking records doing it. He just rereleased "Testify to Love" as an LGBTQ+ affirming anthem with country artist Ty Herndon, and together they became the first openly gay artists to reach #1 on the iTunes Christian charts.

Mike Maeshiro spent 5 years as an instructor at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry — teaching, preaching, and living what he thought was his calling. But there was one problem: he was gay.

From age 10, Mike knew he was different. He tried conversion therapy. He dated a woman to "fix" himself. He climbed the evangelical ladder at one of the most influential charismatic churches in the world — all while suppressing who he really was.

Then in 2020, everything changed. A Taylor Swift documentary, a passage from Acts, and a spiritual awakening in the...

I met a woman in Clearwater who was shocked that I'm a Christian and didn't judge her. That moment made me realize something: the church has created a culture of inauthenticity — and it's pushing people away from God.

In this solo episode, I'm talking about why so many people (straight and LGBTQ) feel like they can't be themselves in church, why LGBTQ Christians have a unique gift to offer the world, and why I'm done spending energy defending my faith instead of just living it.

What we cover:

Can you be LGBTQ and Christian? Pastor Brandon Robertson says absolutely — and he's spent years studying the theology to prove it.

In this conversation, Brandon breaks down why the "clobber passages" Christians use against gay people are mistranslations, misinterpretations, and taken out of historical context. We talk about Leviticus, Sodom and Gomorrah, Romans 1, and what Jesus actually said (or didn't say) about homosexuality.

Brandon also shares his journey from growing up in fundamentalist evangelicalism to coming out and becoming one of the most prominent LGBTQ-affirming pastors in America. He ta...

Can you be transgender AND Christian? I'm answering this question directly — and what I learned completely changed my heart.

In this episode, I talk about Neeza Powers, a trans Christian woman who faced thousands of hateful comments for being her authentic self.

I break down what the Bible actually says about gender, explore Deuteronomy 22:5 in context, and explain why Jesus' ministry was focused on outcasts — not the religiously "perfect."

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT:

✅ Neeza Powers' story — Trans Christian attacked online for being her auth...

Here's why "ex-gay" stories are misleading — and why you don't need to change.

I'm breaking down why it's impossible to be ex-gay and why these stories you see online are often rooted in trauma, bad behavior, or bisexuality/pansexuality— not actual sexual orientation change.

What we're covering:

The bottom line: You don't need to change. God love...

"For years, I stood in the pulpit and preached that homosexuality was a sin. I believed the Bible was clear. I thought I was right. I was wrong."In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Pastor Joe Smith, a straight, cisgender pastor who spent years preaching traditional, non-affirming theology—until his understanding completely transformed.This isn't a story about a pastor who came out. It's about a pastor who changed his mind.Joe shares his journey from confidently condemning LGBTQ+ people from the pulpit to becoming an advocate and ally. He ta...

NBA player Jaden Ivey was recently suspended for making homophobic comments about Pride Night, calling it "unrighteous" and against his Christian beliefs. But when did being Christian become about being the moral police instead of loving people?

In this episode, I break down why Jaden Ivey's comments are the opposite of what Jesus taught, why Pride Night matters for LGBTQ+ people who have been marginalized and discriminated against for decades, and why Christians need to stop using their beliefs to justify hate.

Here's the truth: LGBTQ+ people are human...

"I was a worship leader who sang about God's love every Sunday—while hiding who I really was.

"In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Israel Isaac, a longtime megachurch worship leader who came out as gay four years ago and recently auditioned for America's Got Talent and appears on Bravo's Vanderpump Rules.

For years, Israel led thousands of people in worship—pouring his heart into every song, every service, every moment on stage. But he was living a double life. He w...

What happens when a Harvard Divinity School graduate, public theologian and gardening philosopher sits down with an LGBTQ Christian podcast host for over an hour of raw, unfiltered conversation about faith, sexuality, race, the church and what it means to truly know God?

This. This episode happens.

Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Ciarra Jones — known as the Gardening Theologian — for one of the most thought-provoking, theologically rich and deeply personal conversations the You Can Be Both podcast has ever had. Ciarra is a writer, speaker and public theologian who help...

What happens when a deeply Christian mom learns her daughter is gay — while sitting in a rainy parking lot before school?

In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Staci Frenes — singer, songwriter, author and Christian mom — who shares the raw, emotional moment her daughter Abby came out to her at 16, and the years-long journey that followed as she learned to hold onto both her faith and her child.

Staci's latest book, Love Makes Room, is a memoir about how she ex...

Have you ever wondered if God actually loves you — or if the hate you've heard from others is the truth? In this solo episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta takes a break from guests to speak directly to her community about one of the most important questions LGBTQ people of faith wrestle with: does God love me, exactly as I am?Lauren reads a powerful listener testimony from a woman who grew up Amish, survived years of sexual abuse, came out as a lesbian, and found her way back to God — and uses it to explore how...

Did the word “homosexual” really appear in the Bible for the first time in 1946?

In this episode of the You Can Be Both podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta interviews Sharon “Rocky” Roggio, director of the documentary 1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture.

The film investigates how the word homosexual entered an English Bible translation for the FIRST TIME in 1946 — and how that translation has shaped modern conversations around Christianity, LGBTQ identity, and faith.

Using archived research from Yale University, scholars, and historical records, the documentary explores how a tran...

What happens when you grow up evangelical, marry a man, build a life… and then realize you’re actually a lesbian?

In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Sophia Spallino — luxury lesbian matchmaker and founder of The Queer Country Club — to talk about coming out at 29, leaving a heterosexual marriage, losing everything, and rebuilding a life rooted in truth, faith, and aligned partnership.

Sophia shares:

• Growing up in evangelical Christianity

• Suppressing same-sex attraction for years

• Marry...

Can you be transgender and Christian?

What happens when a megachurch pastor comes out as trans?

And why is she now running for public office?

In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Joanna Whaley, a former evangelical megachurch pastor who was outed, fired, and subjected to 15 years of conversion therapy — and is now running for the Michigan House of Representatives.

Joanna shares:    

•    What 15 years of conversion therapy did to her mental health    

•    The real experience of gen...

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Can you be gay and Christian? What does growing up LGBTQ in the church actually do to your mental health? And how do you heal from years of being told you’re going to hell?

In this episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with licensed therapist Candice Czubernat, founder of The Christian Closet and an LGBTQ+ affirming counseling practice, to unpack religious trauma, conversion therapy, shame, and the ps...

Does conversion therapy work?

What actually happens behind closed doors in Christian “ex-gay” programs—and why do people stay for years?

In this episode of The You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Timothy Rodriguez, author of Conversion Therapy Dropout, for a raw, unfiltered conversation about surviving eight years of conversion therapy, working behind the scenes for some of the biggest evangelical megachurches (including Hillsong, Elevation Church, and Willow Creek), and reclaiming faith after religious trauma.

Timothy shares:    

•    What conversion...

What does it mean when a straight, white male pastor says LGBTQ+ people fully belong in the church?

In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta welcomes her first-ever guest, Danny Lybarger — a straight, white male pastor, theologian, and founder of The Well: An Inclusive & Justice-Centered Church in the St. Louis area.

Danny is known for using his platform, privilege, and voice within the church to advocate loudly for LGBTQ+ inclusion, even when it put his ordination, funding, and career at risk. His vi...