Slop Culture

The highest privilege a human can experience is the chance to touch history. Surviving the Black Plague. Seeing the Berlin Wall come down. Watching a screwball action comedy about a guy who makes pinball noises when he gets beaten up by a gang of dapper dancing gangsters wielding hatchets. All these things are exactly the same in terms of importance.

Join Will and Sam as they experience one of the classics of action comedy, a film by Stephen Chow that homages a genre so hard it ends up defining an entirely new one.

Support the...

No, not the one that everyone liked.

Due to the Treaty of Ruffalo's Pass after the Battle of Three Christophers, it is forbidden for any podcast to talk about MCU movies without invoking the Pact of Seventeen Eyes. 

But you CAN still talk about the Sony Marvels. Including this one! Where Ben Affleck thinks he's in a moody television drama titled Just A Man Living On Whistlepig Lane, Jennifer Garner thinks she's in an action comedy titled Karate Kooks, Colin Farrell thinks he's in a character piece titled Beefboys of Belfast and Michael Clarke Duncan t...

The very first LIVE episode of Slop Culture, in-person and face-to-face, is here and it's full of snot and coughing because Will and Sam recorded this inside a shipping container, sick as dogs that work blue collar jobs. But stronger than the flu is their devotion to horrifying action movies and, brother, they don't come more horrifying than a movie about how to beat Lou Ferrigno in a sword fight. Join these greasy, wheezing boys for a foray into one of the most so-straight-to-video-it-hurts movies of all time.

Support the show

Today, Will and Sam take a look at one of cinema's most renowned pillars, a franchise that singlehandedly holds up the artistic tradition of guys in tank tops racing cars and doing crimes--INTERNATIONALLY. That's right, we're taking a deep dive into the legendary Tokyo Drift to better understand the struggle of a 36-year-old Alabama man trying to get by in a Japanese high school for some reason.

Take a deep breath and inhale the scent of Slop Culture's 50th episode. Smell that? That's the scent of artistic achievement.

Support the show

Today, the boys set out on a quest to cleanse their palates with a foolhardy and forgettable movie about someone who plays video games (a gamer, if you will) and instead discover a horrific vision into a future where people rent out their bodies to be commandeered by the wealthy and decadent, where the only use of human flesh is in service to cold and unfeeling technology, where you are required by law to think Michael C. Hall is cool and so is his inexplicable southern accent.

Join Will and Sam as they indulge in a movie...

Join Will and Sam for an evening at the macho action movie equivalent of opera as we settle in for a long and fraught discussion about the nature of pageantry, atmosphere, dramatic theme and the role of colorful costumery in male friendships. Could the solution to this isolated, atomized existence we languish under be to dress in themed matching costumes, paint your faces and roll out with your boys to rumble with the Turnbull ACs? Let's find out together as we watch 1979's The Warriors.

Support the show

Will and Sam build bridges between nations after watching the tragic majesty of a movie in which a French dude pretending to be a Scottish dude whacks people with swords because a Scottish dude pretending to be an Egyptian dude pretending to be a Spanish dude told him it would solve all his problems--and, just like in real life, it does.

Get Quickening'd, fool.

Support the show

Will and Sam spend the greater part of an hour trying to pick themselves up after getting struck by the hardest-hitting action comedy to ever bust out a pair of nunchuks in Michael Jai White's send-up to 1970s exploitation movies.

Please note that, contrary to what is said in the episode, neither Will nor Sam are seriously contending that Monsanto sponsors gamers, zones or gamerzones of any kind and everything they say should be taken as the rantings of madmen walled up in a cellar. 

Support the show

Once every few years, all elements of an action movie begin to move as celestial bodies adrift in space--plot, writing, actors, chemistry, physical comedy, fight scenes, set design, charisma, budget and Christopher Walken in all his sweaty glory. And, with a vision of beauty that could only be crafted in the heavens itself, these factors align to create The Perfect Action Movie.

My friends. Will and Sam are here to tell you about that movie.

Also there's a bit in there about gnome crime dramas and it's just great.

Support the show

The society of 2004 did not call out for a 1930s retro adventure. It did not demand a story about planes fighting robots; it did not clamor for an aggressively gormless romance between two people reciting lines while quietly wondering if it's a social faux pas to eat turkey for dinner three nights in a row.

But Hollywood gave it to them, anyway. Join Will and Sam for a look at one of cinema's campiest, as well as an in-depth discussion about the surprising diversity of the clowning world.

Support the show

In days long past, in the forgotten era of 2002, mankind walked this earth with all manner of primitive, early CGI. It was an age of darkness. It was an age where Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey couldn't turn down work. It was an age where you could basically just throw ideas like dragons and helicopters together and some Hollywood looney tune would look up from his pile of flesh and snow long enough to hurl money at it.

Join Will and Sam for a look at a movie about dragons. And helicopters.

Support the show<...

The year is 1995. Cinemas thrive. The success of Jurassic Park has awakened in America a panicked and perverse need for stories about playing God and then being horribly consumed by primal life forms beyond our control. And like a jazz drummer with a kilo of Horse, Michael Crichton is there to supply a terrified population with its fix in the form of a movie where Tim Curry gets eaten by gorillas. Join Will and Sam for a look into one of ape-based cinema's proudest achievements.

Support the show

Today on Slop Culture, Will and Sam take a journey back to the primitive days of 2006 to explore a vampire action sci-fi romp that flew so far under the radar it had to be located with one of those rats they train to discover unexploded ordinances. Join us for a conversation on sticky dictators, Milla Jovovich and exactly how bad a movie can be before it becomes blasphemous.

Support the show

The boys take a swig of Tsingtao and power through their second John Carpenter-directed, Kurt Russell-starring cult classic movie. Except instead of being about colorful goons in the decaying ruins of a dystopian New York, it's a movie about colorful wizards in the decaying ruins of 1980's San Francisco. Today's topics include a shoutout to ninjas, a frank discussion of wizard-based crime and the masculine fantasy of having your bro do kung fu in front of your wife.

Support the show

Will and Sam put on their leisure suits for their look at Smokin' Aces, the only movie that can give you the same kind of rush as seeing a pyramid of carefully-arranged wine glasses come crashing down right before the last one goes on. Join the boys for an off-beat and eccentric dark action comedy (it's dark because someone says a swear).

Support the show

This week, the boys treat themselves to an American classic which asks the question that every young American has ever asked themselves: "what if school got canceled because World War III broke out and Patrick Swayze was also there?" Also featured: Sam saw the Odyssey, Satanic nachos and do you think a demon in hell would call you fat or would that be too much?

Support the show

It is Slop Culture's utmost pleasure to introduce an iconic film about hairy skinny dudes rowing boats and slapping skeletons--Jason & The Argonauts. Join Will and Sam in a discussion on topics such as Ray Harryhausen's vision, cinema's earliest special effects, how much it must rule to be an old dude just letting it all hang out on a boat with your bros, and more.

Support the show

In a very special episode of Slop Culture, the podcast talks about its very first film featuring America's favorite morally-dubious, spiritually-lugubrious, gun-toting, chain-smoking, grizzled gizzard son of an onion, Clint Eastwood, in The Gauntlet, a film that is brave enough to tell you that you can solve at least some of your problems with a bus.

Support the show

The boys revisit the joys of Hong Kong cinema with the spectacularly gory, spectacularly ridiculous, spectacularly beefy opus that is Riki-Oh, the story of one man's passionate desire to bring about prison reforms by punching through walls and making peoples' skulls explode. Put your face in this bad English dubbing and breathe deep, brother.

Support the show

Today on Slop Culture, Will and Sam journey to the moment where the Terminator franchise stopped and the Terminator Cinematic Universe began. Join us for a thoughtful discussion on what makes a character, what makes a plot, what makes a human--also, like, six or seven jokes about Florida. Maybe eight.

Support the show

This week, the boys investigate a piece of Argentinian Cinematic History in the form of the extremely violent, extremely low-budget, extremely body-hairless legendary film, Deathstalker. Join us for a discussion of pop culture history, Will's beef with whales and whether or not Pedro Pascal is to blame for Vesuvius erupting.

Support the show

On the inaugural session of Sloppy Seconds, the boys talk about horror film sensation, THE BACKROOMS, one of Sam's very favorite settings and, now, one of his very favorite movies. Also included in this episode: bad endings to good shows, the twitching carcass of Star Wars and how badly you'd have to offend Pedro Pascal before he finally came after you.

Support the show

Today, the boys take a look at Charlize Theron's spectacular Cold War thriller, Atomic Blonde--the ONLY movie where you can get a stunning 1980s soundtrack, John Goodman in a suit and a verifiable chorus of Eastern European dudes getting whacked in their Lyndon B Johnsons with firehoses.

What part of the body is "Lyndon B Johnson" a metaphor for? You'll have to listen to find out, dear listener. You'll have to listen.

But if you thought "nards," you're right. 

Support the show

The boys take a course in Early Keanu History with his action-filled role as FBI agent Johnny Utah, playing opposite the chillest sociopath you'll ever meet in Patrick Swayze. Thoughtful deep dives into the relationship between action and romance, lingering studies of high-stakes tension, discussions on the nature of sadism--all this and more are ruined by Sam bouncing his knee and making the microphone shake for, like, three minutes near the start. God, that's annoying.

Support the show

The boys talk about one of the most foundational films to the martial arts genre, defining many of its most treasured tropes--secretive high-stakes tournaments, fists soaked in gore, the burning warrior spirit and dudes threateningly making their pecs bounce like a couple of evil hams.

Support the show

Today, Will and Sam enjoy a monster movie for a new era. Jason Statham turns in a mostly-hairless performance as a deep sea rescue specialist hired by a multinational team of scientists to dive to the bottom of the ocean and punch the hell out of some sea life. And speaking of deep dives, we finally get to the bottom of why the nation of Japan is so pissed at Joe Jonas.

Support the show

This week, Will introduces Sam to his favorite movie that has been or ever will be--Sahara, starring Matthew McConaughey as Dirk Pitt, which is a name that sounds like a dude who has been involved in numerous last stands and is linked to at least two different civil wars. 

Support the show

The boys talk about Antoine Fuqua's take on a classic western action flick starring Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and more in a sprawling study of what it means to be a man who can't move beyond his past and the best he can do with the curse of violence he's been burdened with--also would you accept infinite power from an eldritch Matthew McConaughey if it meant you had to watch Sahara again?

Support the show

The boys take a moment to pour a glass of classic Kurt Russell and savor the heady aroma of a classic commando story about what happens when politics are decided via guys with eyepatches and New York is finally allowed to live its authentic self as a supermax prison for community theater actors.

Support the show

In a very special episode of Slop Culture, Will and Sam pay attention and homage to one of the earliest and most ambitious attempts at fantasy cinema: Krull. The boys discuss what it means to be a creative flop that laid the groundwork for classics to come and also what if Stan Lee kidnapped your family? What then?

Support the show

Will and Sam do more glazing than a donut factory over James Cameron's action movie touchstone in which Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis show off the fun, quirky and romantic side of brazen misappropriation of government resources and shadowy institutions accountable to no one.

Support the show

This week, the boys journey to pay their respects at the shrine of New Zealand's patron saint, Karl Urban, in his gritty dystopian action flick, Dredd. Included inside: slasher bars, crucial updates on how Sam's curry turned out, and so much glazing a donutsmith envies.

Support the show

In honor of our 22nd episode, Slop Culture is proud to present its thorough critical analysis of one of the most profound entries into the most sacred wings of cinema's hallowed halls: 2 Fast 2 Furious. Enclosed within: how to run a zoo as a mafia front, drift racing in the Hague and whether you can or cannot legally make a car your wife.

And if you can...should you?

Support the show

This week, Will and Sam take a look at Sylvester Stallone's Expendables 2, a thoughtful and nuanced study of the relationship between masculinity, intimacy and conflict. Also, Jason Statham dresses up like a priest and stabs a dude and says "I now pronounce you man and KNIFE" and it's totally sick, you've got to watch it, bro.

Support the show

Today, Will and Sam take a look at one of Heath Ledger's last performances as a fairy tale-obsessed conman who gets asked to help Matt Damon beat up a horse that spits spiders in the action-fantasy-buddy-comedy-horror-action-comedy-thriller-fantasy-horror-action-action-buddy-buddy-comedy-fantasy movie, the Brothers Grimm.

Support the show

In the name of international relations, the boys have a look at District B13, the only movie that dares to ask what if the Fast and the Furious franchise was about parkour instead of cars and was about saving the Eiffel Tower from nukes and also Vin Diesel is French and so is everyone else. 

Support the show

Join the boys as they journey back in time to the primitive 1990's, where computers were magical and the only thing cooler than ninjas were the people who knew how to use them (the computers, not the ninjas). The People of Japan v. Macaulay Culkin, the masculine urge to be socially awkward, jetski escort services and more on today's episode about Hackers.

Support the show

Will and Sam go digging for 80's gold in this action-heavy, logic-light that dares to dream of a world where ninjutsu-practicing individuals can lead long, full lives with meaningful contributions to international government and artistic heritage. Come for the shuriken, stay for the ninja Seinfeld pitch.

Support the show

The boys celebrate the legendary career of Denzel Washington by watching a film in which he enjoys a soul-healing vacation to scenic Naples, Italy and connects deeply with the local culture in between scenes of overwhelmingly horrifying psychopathic violence. Plus--pitching Conan O'Brien as an action comedy star, harmful depictions of supernatural assassins and what's the proper amount of effort to put into saving someone from extraterrestrials. 

Support the show

To celebrate America's fourth-favorite corporate holiday, the lads decide to flex their creative writing muscles by writing opposing erotic video game fanfiction to see whose chops for crafting stories of pixelated pounding is superior. There are only two rules: only the strong survive and if you laugh, you drink.

Support the show