Do You Feel That? | A Couples Intimacy & Sex Podcast

Your fantasies are not random. They are not guilty secrets. They are not confessions.

They are coded language — your mind's most creative attempt to give you access to the emotional experiences you've been reaching for your whole life.

In Episode 47, Scott and Brittney draw on the work of Esther Perel — psychotherapist, bestselling author, and one of the most original voices on desire alive — specifically her conversation with Gillian Anderson on the secret logic of the erotic mind. The insight at the center of it all: a good fantasy states the problem and offers the solution. The sc...

Scott wants to try mutual masturbation. Brittney is hesitant. Neither of them has done it yet and rather than pretend otherwise, they decided to make that honesty the episode.

In Episode 46, Scott and Brittney tackle one of the most commonly cited intimate experiences couples are curious about and one of the least acted upon. Scott represents the eager partner — genuinely excited by what the research says this experience offers, and honest about why he wants it. Brittney represents the hesitant partner — intellectually interested in the science, personally uncertain about the specific vulnerability it requires, and honest about what...

Most couples have been together for years and their partner still doesn't know exactly what turns them on. Not because they don't care. Because nobody ever gave either of them the language for it.

In Episode 45, Scott and Brittney introduce the Sexual Self-Portrait — a User Manual for how you're actually wired. They each walk through their own completed portrait live, across nine essential sections: Core Desire, Dimension of Sex, Erotic Blueprint, Emotional Wiring, Arousal Arc, favorite position, ideal music and atmosphere, what lands and what doesn't, and how to meet them well.

Scott shares his co...

What's actually playing in the bedroom? Today Scott and Brittney answer that completely.

In Episode 44, they share the full evolution of their intimacy music journey: from the early classics like Norah Jones, John Legend, Lana Del Rey, and 90s R&B, all the way to the four highly specific playlists they use today — each one designed for a different mood, a different kind of encounter, and a different dimension of intimacy.

The Chill Covers playlist for warm, unhurried connection. The Erotic Playlist featuring Sabrina Claudio, James Blake, Massive Attack, and BANKS for dark and intentional in...

Most couples want to try dirty talk. Most couples never do because they don't know where to start and they're terrified of feeling ridiculous.

In Episode 43, Scott and Brittney fix that. This is Dirty Talk 101: the psychology of why it works, the four styles and what each one sounds like, a practical step-by-step progression from complete beginner to genuinely confident, and the honest conversation about what not to do.

The research is clear: couples who communicate verbally during sex report significantly higher satisfaction, more intense orgasms, and deeper emotional connection. And women despite...

Scott and Brittney are in a rut. Work, kids, life — all of it has been filling the space where intimacy used to live. And they're naming it publicly because they know they're not alone.

In Episode 42, they share a 7-Day Intimacy Reset — a gentle, progressive plan for couples who feel stuck. Not a dare game. Not a challenge. A reset that starts exactly where you are and builds from there, one day at a time. Each day's practice takes fifteen minutes or less. The bar is low by design. Because consistency matters more than intensity when you're rebu...

This week we're giving you homework. The good kind.

In Episode 41, Scott and Brittney introduce the Couples Dare Game — ten dares designed to be completed over the course of one week, escalating from easy and playful all the way to genuinely bold. One dare per day. Both partners playing. No skipping.

From an unprompted appreciation ambush and a no-phone evening, to a question you've never asked, a handwritten note, an explicit midday text, an extended no-agenda touch session, a genuine fantasy share, an intentional intimate encounter, a bucket list item and a debrief that ti...

Real life doesn't pause for intimacy. The phone goes off. The wrong song comes on. Someone says something accidentally hilarious. The body decides right now is the moment. The kid knocks.

In Episode 40, Scott and Brittney get real and genuinely funny about the moments that accidentally kill the mood, share their own most memorable experiences, and turn all of it into a practical recovery guide that actually works.

Because the couples who navigate these moments with warmth and humor aren't just surviving real life. They're building the kind of intimacy that only comes from being...

Looking for the best sex toys for couples? Wondering what intimacy products are actually worth buying and which ones collect dust in a drawer? In this episode, Scott and Brittney share their 12 favorite couples intimacy products: the sex toys, personal lubricants, and bedroom accessories they personally use and genuinely recommend.

No sponsors. No affiliate deals. No gifted products. Just honest reviews from a real couple who happens to host one of the most candid intimacy podcasts available.

They break it down into three categories — her favorites, his favorites, and their couples picks — covering everything from vibr...

It's in a lot of couples' nightstands. Almost nobody talks about it honestly. Today we fix that.

In Episode 38, Scott and Brittney break down everything couples need to know about personal lubricant — the most underrated, under-discussed tool in intimacy. Not as a solution to a problem, but as an enhancement to an already good thing.

They cover all four main types: water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and hybrid — what each one is best for, what the research says about safety and effectiveness, which use cases require which type, the ingredients worth avoiding, and the practical tips that make...

Most people rate themselves as above average in bed. Statistically, that's impossible. And the gap between how people assess their own performance and what their partner is actually experiencing is where most sexual dissatisfaction quietly lives.

In Episode 37, Scott and Brittney go somewhere most podcasts won't: the specific, research-backed patterns that make people consistently disappointing intimate partners without them having any idea. Not character flaws. Not fixed traits. Learnable, fixable patterns that nobody ever named because nobody ever taught most people what good intimacy actually requires.

Five patterns. Real research. Personal honesty from both Scott...

Most couples have annual physicals, quarterly financial reviews, and performance check-ins at work. Their relationship — the most important thing in their lives — gets evaluated only when something breaks.

In Episode 36, Scott and Brittney introduce the Relationship State of the Union: a structured 90-day check-in that gives couples a dedicated, intentional space to assess where they are before small things become big ones. Not a conflict conversation. Not a complaint session. A proactive, relationship-tending practice backed by research — and one that most couples wish they'd started years earlier.

They walk through exactly how to set it up, th...

No frameworks. No research drops. No homework. Just opinions — and our most unpopular ones.

In Episode 35, Scott and Brittney bring five genuine hot takes about sex and relationships that go against conventional wisdom, popular advice, and what most people want to hear. Then they defend every single one.

Scheduled sex is better than spontaneous sex. Most couples don't need more communication — they need better listening. The word "foreplay" should be retired. A sexless period isn't a crisis but ignoring it is. And the best thing you can do for your sex life has nothing to do w...

When couples say they want better sex, they're usually wanting three completely different things — and most of the time they don't realize they're in different conversations.

In Episode 34, Scott and Brittney introduce one of the most practically useful frameworks in intimacy: the Three Dimensions of Sex. Partner sex — the intimacy dimension, craving genuine connection with a specific known person. Trance sex — the sensation dimension, craving deep physical immersion and altered states of embodied experience. Role-play sex — the fantasy dimension, craving the freedom to inhabit a scenario or dynamic that everyday relational identity doesn't allow.

These aren't v...

Why do you feel anxious after really good sex? Why does your partner pull away right when things get close? Why does a dry spell feel like evidence that the relationship is falling apart — even when you know logically that it isn't?

The answer is almost always attachment.

In Episode 33, Scott and Brittney complete their personality framework trilogy — Love Languages, Enneagram, and now attachment styles — with the one that goes deepest. Attachment theory doesn't describe a preference. It describes your nervous system's blueprint for closeness, developed in childhood and running automatically in every intimate moment of you...

You know your Enneagram number. But do you know what it's been quietly telling you about what you need in bed?

Following the success of last week's Love Languages episode, Scott and Brittney go deeper with the framework that actually explains why you want what you want — not just what you want. The Enneagram goes beyond behavior into motivation, which makes it uniquely revealing when applied to intimacy.

In Episode 32, they walk through all nine Enneagram types — what each one needs in intimate relationships, what they bring to a partner, where they get in their own...

You know your love language. But do you know what it looks like in bed?

In Episode 31, Scott and Brittney take Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages — one of the most widely recognized relationship frameworks in the world — and translate each one specifically into what it looks like during intimacy. Not in general. In the bedroom.

Because there's a massive gap between knowing your love language and knowing what your partner actually needs sexually. This episode closes that gap.

They walk through all five — words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and re...

No research drops. No homework. Just a game — and a surprisingly revealing one.

In Episode 30, Scott and Brittney play Would You Rather: Couples Intimacy Edition. Fifteen questions, real-time answers, zero prep — and more than a few moments where one of them surprises the other.

Would you rather have amazing sex once a month or good sex three times a week? Would you rather know every fantasy your partner has ever had — or have them know all of yours? Would you rather spend the rest of your relationship never talking about sex — or talking about it so openl...

The orgasm gap is one of the most documented — and least honestly discussed — realities in sexual research. In heterosexual sex, men orgasm 95% of the time. Women? 65%. And that gap isn't a body problem. It's an information and attention problem.

In Episode 29, Scott and Brittney tackle the female orgasm head-on — covering the anatomy most couples were never taught, the research on what actually works, and the conversation most heterosexual couples have never had. Scott shares what changed when he actually understood the anatomy. Brittney shares what it felt like before and after those conversations happened.

This is the...

We made our actual Intimacy Bucket List. Then we told you which ones we've done.

In Episode 28, Scott and Brittney get personal with 10 sexual experiences every couple should try at least once — and instead of keeping it theoretical, they share exactly where each item lands for them personally. Done it? Haven't gotten there yet? One of them more into it than the other? You're getting the real answers.

From outdoor sex and blindfold and temperature play, to restraint, anal play, mirror sex, a nude getaway, and the one experience that should belong only to the tw...

Where did you learn about sex and intimacy? Movies? Church? A locker room? A well-meaning friend who was just as clueless as you?

Most of us absorbed our earliest beliefs about intimacy from sources that were wrong, incomplete, or actively harmful — and we've been quietly running on those beliefs ever since.

In Episode 27, Scott and Brittney get personal and a little vulnerable as they walk through the top 10 intimacy myths they actually believed — and what it took to unlearn them. From the spontaneous passion myth and the mind-reading expectation, to performance pressure, purity culture messaging, and...

One of the most searched, least honestly discussed topics in couples' intimacy — and we're going there.

In this episode, Scott and Brittney tackle anal sex for beginners: the real statistics, the anatomy you actually need to understand, a practical step-by-step guide for couples who want to explore it safely, and the emotional conversation that most how-to guides skip entirely.

Whether you're curious and don't know where to start, one partner has brought it up and the other isn't sure how to respond, or you've tried it and felt like something was off — this episode give...

How connected are you — really?

Not how connected you used to be. Not how connected you intend to be. Right now, today — how well do you actually know what your partner is carrying, what they need, and how satisfied they are?

In Episode 25, Scott and Brittney do something a little different: they walk through a 7-question Intimacy Audit live — answering each question honestly, reacting to each other's answers in real time, and inviting you to sit with your own answers as you listen.

These aren't trick questions. They're the ones most couples never think...

You don't need a weekend retreat to feel close again. You need six seconds.

In Episode 24, Scott and Brittney break down the research-backed micro-rituals that keep connected couples close — and that disconnected couples have quietly stopped doing. These aren't elaborate date nights or weekend getaways. They're small, repeatable practices that take ten minutes or less, and the science behind them is hard to argue with.

From Dr. John Gottman's famous 6-second kiss (built from 30 years of research on over 3,000 couples) to the 20-second hug that actually lowers your blood pressure, the daily appreciation practice that pr...

What if the reason your sex life feels stuck has nothing to do with what you're doing — and everything to do with what you're feeling?

In Episode 23, Scott and Brittney introduce one of the most powerful frameworks in intimacy: Core Desires. These are the emotional experiences you're actually craving during sex and closeness — and most people have never once named them out loud.

They walk through the major Core Desire feeling states (from Adored and Desired to Wild, Surrendered, Powerful, and Free), break down a practical three-step method for discovering your own, and tackle what to d...

It's one of the most Googled questions in the history of relationships — and one of the least talked about honestly. In this episode, Scott and Brittney tackle the penis size conversation head-on, cutting through cultural myths, porn-fueled distortions, and the silent insecurities that quietly affect men and their partners every day.

They break down what peer-reviewed research actually says — including a landmark clinical study of over 15,000 men that reveals the average size is significantly smaller than most people believe — and why the gap between how men feel about themselves and how their partners actually feel is one of the...

Most couples don’t struggle with intimacy because they don’t love each other — they struggle because they’re making common mistakes without realizing it.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we break down the top 10 intimacy mistakes couples make in long-term relationships and marriage — and what to do instead.

We talk about:

If you...

If we had to narrow everything we’ve learned about intimacy down to just three things, this would be it.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we share our top three foundations for better sex:

We talk about erotic blueprints, emotional intimacy, expanding beyond routine, polarity, and why confidence in the bedroom changes everything.

Whether you’re feeling stuck, routine, or just ready to deepen co...

We’ve been building something new inside Coelle — and this week, we’re giving you a preview.

In our next app update, we’re launching two brand-new categories: Warm-Ups and How-To (Instructional) Sessions— eight new guided audio experiences designed to make intimacy more accessible, flexible, and confidence-building.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we share:

If you’ve ever wanted in...

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, Scott shares three of his favorite guided audio experiences from Coelle — the ones he personally returns to and why they work so well for him.

We talk about:

This episode is meant to complement last week’s conversation with Brittney and give listeners two perspectives on how guided audio intimacy can support connection in different ways.

If you’...

Last week, we introduced guided audio intimacy — what it is and why it works so well for couples.

This week, we’re taking it one step further.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, Brittney shares three of her favorite guided audio experiences from Coelle — the ones she returns to most and why they resonate so deeply with her.

We talk about:

What if intimacy didn’t require figuring out what to do, what to say, or who should lead?

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we introduce guided audio intimacy — what it is, how it works, and why it’s been such a powerful tool for couples who want deeper connection without pressure or overthinking.

We talk about:

Have you ever wanted closeness… but the moment things turned sexual, your body pulled back?

Or wanted desire… but suddenly felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or numb?

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we introduce the concept of toggling — the ability to move back and forth between safety and stimulation, comfort and edge, without shutting down or pushing through discomfort.

Because great intimacy isn’t about staying turned on the whole time.

It’s about knowing when to lean in — and when to soften.

We explore:

Most couples think intimacy is shaped by what happens before sex or during it.

But research and experience tell a different story.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore why what happens after sex plays a powerful role in emotional safety, bonding, and whether you’ll actually want intimacy again in the future.

We talk about:

If you’ve ever noticed that one of you almost always initiates intimacy — while the other rarely does — you’re not alone.

This dynamic is incredibly common in long-term relationships, and it’s far more about how desire works than how much someone wants their partner.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we unpack the initiation gap — why it forms, why it hurts so deeply, and how couples can rebalance intimacy without pressure, resentment, or shutdown.

We explore:

Curious about sex toys but not sure where to start — or how to bring it up without making things weird?

You’re not alone. Most couples are interested in using toys together… they just don’t know how to talk about it.

In this week’s episode of Do You Feel That?, we break down everything you need to know to explore toys in a way that feels fun, connected, and completely pressure-free.

We cover:

Why do some things turn you on instantly… but do nothing for your partner?

Why does one of you want slow, sensual connection while the other wants direct, intense, sexual energy?

You’re not mismatched — you’re just speaking different erotic languages.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we break down Jaiya’s 5 Erotic Blueprints — the Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter — and how understanding these “desire personalities” can completely transform your intimacy.

We talk about:

Raising kids changes everything — your time, your energy, your body, your identity… and yes, your sex life.

If passion feels harder, less frequent, or basically nonexistent after becoming parents, you’re not alone and nothing is wrong with you.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we dive deep into why desire shifts so dramatically after kids and what you can actually do to rebuild intimacy in a life filled with exhaustion, interruptions, and tiny humans who need you constantly.

We talk about:

Mismatched desire is one of the most common (and misunderstood) challenges couples face.

One partner is in the mood… the other isn’t.

One wants connection… the other is overloaded.

And suddenly intimacy feels complicated, emotional, or even tense.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore what’s really happening when you and your partner want sex at different times and why it has nothing to do with attraction or compatibility.

We talk about the science of spontaneous vs. responsive desire, how stress and timing shape libido...

Every couple feels it — that magnetic spark that makes everything come alive. But what happens when the energy between you goes flat?

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore masculine and feminine polarity — the energetic dance that fuels attraction, connection, and chemistry. We break down what these energies really mean (beyond gender), why balance is essential, and how to reignite that spark when life, stress, or routine dulls it.

Drawing from the work of David Deida and Esther Perel, we talk about: