The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Why is telling a man to "be a man" such a bad idea? Jayson breaks down what messages men actually hear when they're told to "man up" and how those messages create shame instead of growth. He explores why men constantly compare themselves to other men, what people are really asking for in moments of conflict, and why making relationship problems about gender usually misses the point. If you want to communicate with men in a way that actually works, this episode is for you.

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What do you do with suffering? Jayson touches on the four noble truths and what they point to in everyday life. He explores why suffering is part of being human, what happens when you stop avoiding it, and how to be with your experience instead of trying to escape it. He also shares how making meaning from your suffering can change how you relate to your life. If you are dealing with pain and want a different way to approach it, this episode is for you.

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How do you know if couples work is actually working? Jayson breaks down what good couples therapy should feel like and the signs you are making real progress. He explains why you need to advocate for yourself as a client, the two directions effective work should move in, and why you should be getting somewhere over time. If you are in therapy and wondering if it is helping, this episode is for you.

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What separates a deep listener from a shallow one? Jayson breaks down why most people are not actually listening and how the lack of real curiosity shows up in conversations. He explains why follow up questions matter, what it means to ask real questions, and how losing curiosity in your relationship creates distance. He also challenges you to go deeper with the people in your life if you want real connection. If you want to become someone people feel truly heard by, this episode is for you.

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Why does trying to change your partner backfire? Jayson breaks down what happens when you try to get your wife to change when she does not want to, and how unmet expectations turn into resentment. He explains the arrogance behind trying to shape your partner, why behavior change requests often miss the point, and what it actually means to love someone as they are. If you keep pushing for change and not getting it, this episode is for you.

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Why are feelings so essential for a strong partnership? Jayson explains how emotions are at the center of secure relationships and where therapy can fall short. He explores how to handle your child’s emotions, the feelings men are often taught to suppress, and what it takes to express yourself in a healthy way. If you want deeper connection in your relationships, this episode is for you.

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How do you de escalate someone in the moment without making things worse? Jayson breaks down how to calm someone down quickly by staying regulated, entering their world, and validating what is real for them. He explains why trying to fix or win backfires, what it means to take ownership when needed, and why none of this works if you are not being genuine. If you find yourself dealing with big emotions in others and want a better way to respond, this episode is for you.

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Why do so many of us avoid our feelings until they force their way out? Jayson shares his own experience with not wanting to feel and the cost of suppressing emotions. He explores the temptation to medicate symptoms without addressing the root cause, why people hold it together in public only to explode at home, and how the people closest to us can help reveal our deepest triggers. If you are tired of stuffing your emotions or afraid of what might happen if you let them surface, this episode is for you.

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Jayson reflects on his role as a husband and father and the responsibility he once resisted. Why do some men pull back from commitment or shy away from the weight of leadership at home? He explores how primary relationships can become a spiritual path, what it means to surrender to fatherhood, and why time with your children reveals who you really are. This episode is an honest look at growth through partnership, parenting, and showing up when it would be easier not to.

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What kind of world are we creating right now?

Jayson talks about the men in power and what they are modeling for our sons. He asks what happens when a culture loses its moral center. He makes the case that you cannot act like a jerk out there and expect peace at home. If you want change, start in your house. Start with how you show up.

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Jayson explores what it really takes to be yourself in relationship and in life. Why does hiding who you are come at such a high cost? What kind of courage does it take to live authentically, and why do intimate relationships often force an awakening to your true self?

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Jayson examines why the masculine feminine framework often creates more problems than it solves. How can this framing be harmful for men? Why does trying to change your partner keep people stuck? What role does attachment play in relationship dynamics, and what is a better way to understand gender issues altogether? Jayson also reflects on his own experience with this framework and offers a more grounded perspective.

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How do you recognize someone who has actually earned wisdom? In this conversation, Jayson breaks down what makes an elder an elder. He explains why it has nothing to do with age or status, how real elders show emotional maturity, what it means to hold space without fixing or rescuing, and why outgrowing your parents is a part of becoming an elder. If you want to understand who to trust, who to learn from, or how to become someone worth following, this episode lays it out clearly.

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What happens when you spend your life trying to be the good one, the agreeable one, or the one who never makes waves? Jayson breaks down the hidden exhaustion that comes from living in your strategic self. He explains how masking drains your energy, why people in strategy stay on the surface, and what it takes to reconnect with your true self. If you feel tired from managing how you come across, this episode shows you why and what to do next.

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What makes securely attached families different? Jayson explores how self-examination and meaning making play a vital role in healthy relationships. He explains why understanding your own story and continuing to make meaning from it is essential for building lasting connection and security.

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What makes securely attached families different? Jayson explores how self-examination and meaning making play a vital role in healthy relationships. He explains why understanding your own story and continuing to make meaning from it is essential for building lasting connection and security.

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How do you know what to actually work on in yourself or your relationship? Jayson explains how to identify your pain points, avoid vague or unhelpful advice, and set goals that lead to real progress. If you’re tired of spinning your wheels in personal growth, this episode will help you focus on what really matters.

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Keith Kurlander joins Jayson to explore why people suffer and how we can move closer to authenticity. Is personal development ever narcissistic? Why do so many people chase quick fixes instead of real education and growth? Keith and Jayson discuss the importance of connecting to your authentic self and what makes relationships thrive with greater ease.

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Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make them go away. It builds resentment, distance, and unresolved tension. In this episode, Jayson unpacks why avoiding conflict costs more than it saves, how to approach difficult conversations with honesty and care, and why vulnerability is the key to repair.

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In the wake of the Charlie Kirk shooting and the Evergreen High School shooting, Jayson reflects on the wave of hatred and blame that erupts online after tragedy. From a Buddhist perspective, he explores how we can stop seeing others as the enemy, reclaim our focus, and begin creating the kind of world we actually want to live in.

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Jayson breaks down the hidden problems with reassurance. What’s wrong with saying “it’s going to be okay”? When is reassurance actually appropriate, and when does it backfire? What makes reassurance a problem in coaching or therapy? Jayson explains what to say instead and why a deeper response is far more effective for real growth.

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Jayson explores the dynamics of conflict avoidance and why so many people are scared to speak up. What childhood roots contribute to staying silent? Who are you really protecting when you avoid conflict? How does the fear of abandonment keep you quiet? Jayson also unpacks the role of differentiation in learning to bring things up with courage and clarity.

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Jayson unpacks the difference between secure attachment and falling in love. Can you have secure attachment in a brand-new relationship? Why do people often confuse the rush of falling in love with genuine security? When does the attachment system actually turn on? Jayson shares how to support clients who are navigating the complexities of new relationships.

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Jayson explores why no one is truly broken. What should you do when a client feels like they are? Why can’t you get rid of any part of yourself - and why is that a good thing? Jayson explains why every part of you has value and how embracing all of yourself can be a powerful path to healing.

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How should you coach men effectively? Jayson unpacks the impact of male social conditioning and what it means for therapy and coaching. What’s different about working with men in couples therapy? How can coaches help men break out of rigid gender roles without making them feel inferior?

Jayson also shares tips for navigating defensiveness and creating safety while challenging growth. Don’t miss this direct and practical episode on supporting men more skillfully.

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Jayson dives into the challenge of getting over anger toward your parents. Did your parents drop the ball in ways that still affect you today? How does your past shape your present relationships? What does it actually look like to move from victim to author? And how do you know when you've truly let resentment go?

Jayson also explores why it’s important not to focus solely on the negative, how growth can happen through adversity, and the personal cost of holding on to anger. Don’t miss this powerful solo episode.

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Christian Pankhurst joins Jayson to talk about group work. What does “healing” really mean? What do transformative arcs in group therapy look like? Should the facilitator be part of the group? Can group work replace one-on-one therapy? How can you stay well as a healer? How should facilitators deal with projection? Stay tuned until the end to hear Christian and Jayson share their self-care strategies.

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How should you coach someone whose partner isn’t doing the work? Jayson breaks it down. How should coaches and therapists get their clients to focus on themselves? Should clients leave or stay with an impossible person? Why is it so important for clients to have their feelings validated? How can you help your clients take responsibility for not speaking up? Don’t miss this insightful look at a difficult situation.

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Dr. Will Van Derveer joins Jayson to discuss the uses and misuses of psychedelic drugs. He shares his background, his work in integrative psychiatry, and the limitations of conventional mental health treatments. Dr. Van Derveer also explores the therapeutic potential of ketamine, MDMA, LSD, psilocybin, and more.

Are there people who shouldn’t use psychedelics? If you’re going to use them, what are some best practices? Don’t miss this enlightening episode.

Will Van Derveer, MD is a leader in the adoption of integrative psychiatry practices globally. After discovering that his conventional psychiatric training was in...

Are you stuck in victimhood? Jayson breaks down how to invert the victim triangle and make the shift from victim to author. What’s the difference between blame and responsibility? Is being in the victim seat always a bad thing? Stay tuned until the end when Jayson shares one important question you should always ask your clients - and yourself.

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What if today were your last day on Earth? Jayson is joined by author and retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine for his 3rd time on the show to discuss finding your purpose on this planet, meditation vs. psychedelics, developing mental and physical toughness, and much more. Don’t miss Mark’s exhortation for coaches at the end.

Mark Divine is a retired Navy SEAL, bestselling author, and transformative thought leader, inspiring compassion, resilience, and fortitude. His distinguished military career spanned two decades with tours in Iraq, the Middle East, and the Korean Peninsula, culminating in his reti...

Is it time to fire your coach or therapist? Jayson breaks it down. Do the sessions you attend feel more like coffee dates? Is your trauma going unaddressed? Have you been seeing a practitioner for years without making real progress? If you're struggling to see results, you won’t want to miss this episode.

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What does it mean to follow your deepest calling? How do you get clear on what actually matters and act on it today? Jayson sits down with executive coach John O’Connor to explore what it takes to create real transformation.

They get into symbolic sovereignty, creating a clear vision, and how deep callings can emerge from deep traumas. Jayson shares what it means to earn your black belt in relationships, they discuss why music is a powerful metaphor for life, and the one skill every facilitator needs. They also talk about entanglement, and having a shared vi...

Jayson breaks down the problems with one common strategy—people-pleasing and how it relates to the core inner conflict. What are the childhood roots of people-pleasing? Why do people-pleasers become resentful? Why do integrated individuals make better coaches and therapists? Tune in to this insightful episode to learn how to stop betraying yourself in the context of your relationship.

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Jayson sits down with Duane Mullner to talk about the role of the therapist or coach. Why is the here and now so important? Can clients help their coaches and therapists? How should you prepare for a session? What should you do with a client who isn’t making progress? How can you help clients who are stuck in victimhood? Don’t miss this chance to hear Duane Mullner share the wisdom he has accumulated over his long career.

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Jayson breaks down how to coach yourself using AI and shares a variety of example prompts. Can AI offer constructive criticism? What can it do with astrology and Gene Keys? Can it give you a tough-love wake-up call? Stick around until the end to learn how you can use AI to get the most out of your therapy sessions!

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Jayson discusses the role of AI in the therapy and coaching space. Will AI replace therapists and coaches? Can it ever be better than a real coach or therapist? What are the downsides of using AI to coach yourself? Stay tuned until the end of the episode to find out how you can thrive—rather than just survive—as a coach or therapist in the age of AI.

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If you want to get the most out of therapy or coaching, it’s important to know how to be a great client. In this episode, Jayson shares his experience of being a client and breaks down how you can make sure you’re getting the results you want. Is it ever okay not to make progress? Learn how to advocate for yourself, prepare for your sessions, stay accountable to friends and family, and much more in this episode!

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Clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon joins Jayson to offer valuable advice for therapists and coaches. What are the unique challenges of working with men in couples work? How should therapists and coaches manage countertransference? What common issues are individuals bringing to therapy these days? And how can therapists help people most effectively? Find the answers to these questions—and more—in this insightful episode!

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Jayson and Ellen have started a new podcast!

Integrated is for entrepreneurial couples who want both a high-impact career and an exceptional partnership. Jayson and Ellen blend cutting-edge relationship science with decades of coaching experience to help you balance leadership at home and in business, fostering deeper connection and lasting success.

Subscribe to Integrated here:

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In this episode Jayson and Ellen talk about five reasons why being a team is so hard. How do culture and personal history impact teamwork? Is your sense of entitlement holding...