If Objects Could Talk

Why is The Vexed Man making that scrunched up face? Has he tasted a lemon? Smelled a skunk? Nope—that’s just his thinking face!

This intensely tense alabaster sculpture of a head is used to people staring and trying to do their own versions of his extreme expression. Take it from him, though, it feels much nicer to relax than to be so stiff all the time.

Hear this sculpture’s story of alabaster carving and 18th-century Vienna, followed by a relaxing breathing exercise—because even if you’re not made of st...

As soon as he arrived in Los Angeles, Purrquoise, the turquoise cat, was a star. But this charismatic kitty traveled a long way to get here! Made in China in the 1750s, he moved by ship to France, where he padded around with the rich and famous—like Madame de Pompadour, noted companion of King Louis XV—as well as those who served them. After a few centuries there, he traveled across the Atlantic and settled in at the Getty Museum in 2024.

Adjusting to a new culture takes time, an open mind, and an adventurous spir...

It’s a knight! It’s a cat! No, it’s a…flea?

Picture it: the French countryside, 1751. A young flea prepares for his moment in the spotlight—of a magnificent gold and sharkskin microscope. This compound microscope was the height of scientific knowledge, showcasing both the newest technology and fashionable design. It allowed people—including science lovers like King Louis XV—to discover new worlds in small things.

In this first episode of season two, learn about compound microscopes, the Enlightenment, and what “rococo” means.

Like this episode? Head...

Announcing Season 2, this mini-episode features Purrquoise, a bright turquoise porcelain cat that was made in China in the 1700s and has traveled the world ever since. Now that he’s made himself at home in Los Angeles, he’s ready to pitch his script all about the storming of the Bastille and the French Revolution. 

Of course, if he can’t get that movie made, he’s still excited to announce that If Objects Can Talk returns this fall with ten more stories from adventurous, luxurious—and sometimes very silly—objects, including Purrquoise himself! 

Feeli...

(Rerun) How does a snake bracelet celebrate her favorite holiday? Learn about gold jewelry, the meaning of snakes for ancient Egyptians, and the Roman holiday of Saturnalia from this snake who knows all the best secrets!

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

Come see the bracelet in person at the Getty Villa in gallery 216!

You probably know that the Olympics started in ancient Greece, but did you know that they started as just a single running race? Or that the athletes—all male—competed naked and covered in oil? 

As the world gears up to watch athletes from nearly 100 countries compete in ice skating and bob sledding (two sports the Greeks would have been shocked at!), we had to know more about where the Olympics came from nearly 3000 years ago! 

Learn all about the early Olympic games in this bonus conversation with archaeologist Shelby Brown. 

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This season on If Objects Could Talk we imagined what would happen if museum objects could talk. But have you ever wondered if plants could talk? 

To dig into this question, we’re sharing an episode from Constant Wonder Kids. Through a conversation with science writer Zoë Schlanger, this episode investigates how plants seem to communicate, hear, see, and even think! 

Constant Wonder Kids is a family-friendly podcast that sparks curiosity about plants, animals, and natural phenomena. Through conversations with scientists, explorers, and artists, Constant Wonder Kids helps kids (and the adults...

From bad poetry and papyrus to candles and boar, give the gifts any Roman would love to receive with our Ultimate Saturnalia Gift Guide! (Cue the air horns.)

In this special episode, a carved doll has combed the ancient literature to bring you timeless gift advice for the holiday season. Io Saturnalia!

For a listening guide filled with Roman-inspired DIY gifts, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

This week we’re sharing part two of our collaboration with the Culture Kids podcast. (Head back to the feed for part one if you haven't listened yet!)

Asher and his mom Kristen join If Objects Could Talk producer Zoe on the Culture Train Time Machine for an unforgettable visit to ancient Rome. Together, they tiptoe into a glowing triclinium, the Roman dining room, to watch a real dinner party happening over two thousand years ago!

You’ll discover how ancient Romans lit up the night, what they wore to make room...

This week we’re sharing a collaboration with the Culture Kids podcast. Asher and his mom Kristen join If Objects Could Talk producer Zoe at the Getty Villa Museum to learn about Roman dinner parties—then we travel back in time to experience one! 

In this two part series, you’ll learn more about how and what the Romans ate—especially when they wanted to show off to their friends. 

You’ll discover how ancient Romans reclined on couches while eating, what dishes and cups looked like in the ancient world, why people o...

(Rerun) Does this acrobatic astragalos (an ancient kind of dice) have what it takes to win the big game? Learn about the twists and turns of ancient gameplay and how sheep knucklebones aren’t so different from modern dice.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

This week we're sharing an episode of another art history podcast we love! Who Arted celebrates art in all of its forms and in terms anyone can understand. Each episode tells the story of a different artist and artwork. Who Arted is written and produced by art teacher Kyle Wood with the goal of making art history fun and accessible to everyone.

This episode focuses on King Tut's tomb. On November 26, 1922, Howard Carter prepared to enter the tomb of a little-known pharaoh. Nobody had set foot inside the space for over 3,000 years, but as Carter...

Like a noir detective, this key with a horsehead handle becomes embroiled in a mysterious disappearance—her very own! Help her investigate the blacksmith’s workshop and solve the case so she can open her special box again. 

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the horsehead key with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

 For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

This dancing Satyr—half goat, half man, all prankster—is on the move, sealing important documents that travel across Etruria, a pre-Roman civilization. With his good-luck scarab on his back, he travels to help a birthday girl’s wish come true and only gets them into a little bit of trouble playing “hide the sheep.”

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the satyr scarab gem with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, vi...

One of the three women on this hydria (water jug) gives us a peek at some old-fashioned water cooler gossip. At a time before indoor plumbing, the water fountain was a center of urban life—so these ladies got to hear it all!

If you don’t see an image of hydria with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

Start your day the Roman way with an offering to this pocket-sized household demigod called a Lar. Follow along with a family’s daily rituals and routines and hear how this Lar protected two young boys from getting into trouble.

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the Lar with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

Blowing glass is just like blowing bubbles, sort of. This fish flask is used to leading a school (she is a fish, after all!) so she’ll teach you all about Roman glassblowing and ancient apprenticeships—as well as the importance of creativity and kindness.

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the fish flask with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

This Egyptian cat statuette is here to set the record straight. Yes, she’s a little bit of a diva, but don’t all cats deserve to be worshiped? No, she’s not really the goddess Bastet, just an offering to her, thank you very much. And no, she’s certainly no phony! Hear about the role of cats in ancient Egypt and how this statuette proved her age, with a little help from some conservation scientists.

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the Bastet statuette with this episode, y...

A pair of feet lights up the scene—literally. This feet-shaped lamp knows he’s a little silly, but he’s got some seriously important work to do! Hear about how ancient houses were designed and lit in a time before you could just flip a switch.

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the feet lamp with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts...

What dangers await Athena’s brave and loyal owl at the Greek marketplace? This Athenian coin shares his take on how money was made and used in ancient Greek city states—and how different states had different rules around the agora, or marketplace, that could sometimes get you into trouble!

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the owl coin with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit g...

Does this acrobatic astragalos (an ancient kind of dice) have what it takes to win the big game? Learn about the twists and turns of ancient gameplay and how sheep knucklebones aren’t so different from modern dice.

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the astragalos with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

How does a snake bracelet celebrate her favorite holiday? Learn about gold jewelry, the meaning of snakes for ancient Egyptians, and the Roman holiday of Saturnalia from this snake who knows all the best secrets!

This podcast uses episode-specific artwork. If you don’t see an image of the snake bracelet with this episode, you may have to turn on this setting in your podcast app.

For a listening guide, a coloring sheet, images, and more, visit getty.edu/podcasts/if-objects-could-talk/.

Come see the bracelet in person at...

Trailer for the first season of Getty's new podcast for kids and families