Composed

A dilemma regarding the fate of my black, vintage Levi's jeans. A controversial orange juice take as well as the fact that... I've been bit. G to be back. 

https://youtu.be/8dpqzO4jGg8

An unprecedented stint at the Apple store in Corte Madera as well as a rollercoaster ride of a Meyer lemon offering. Rated W for wild. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPNX2qm22B4

One of the wildest day in global history, recorded on the final day of September (2025) no less. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLjPhQUWGco

Not only are we not talking about the discontinuation of pennies enough, we're not talking about it all... until now. All that plus the unprecedented purchase of two wildly different pairs of shoes and some Nuggets discourse for good measure. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkQYwAym9Yg

If you've ever been on the receiving end of a mispackaged mist... this one's for you. Trust that there's a perfect moment for everything and that includes picking up seven pairs of underwear from Bloomingdale's. God bless. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlhc0vnBiUw

Getting my period/ being recruited to protect a resting monk seal/ operating a motor vehicle whilst in none other than Hawaii. The vibes are immaculate.

The book referenced is "Inner Excellence" by Jim Murphy

See ya over there 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/angels-arent-perfect/id1808299634

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-VT0aH0v38

hiiiiiiiiii. in the meantime. 

https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein

The end of Tik Tok and the beginning of a phenomenal/discounted hot chocolate. The end of the Nuggets- the beginning of a new era. Thank you to everyone who listened, rated, reviewed and subscribed. We'll always have musical interludes. 

The legend that already is episode 152 was recorded mere minutes after absorbing one of the most underwhelming instances of hot chocolate I've participated in thus far and yet it didn't stop me from pouring my heart into recounting the journey that was acquiring my new phone from a freshly opened Verizon store. All this plus the brutal honesty of Reddit. 

An unprecedented gas station/ car wash, a tire situation and an index card conundrum. Honestly I inspired myself upon listening back on the glorious episode that is episode 150. 

A frayed cord upgrade, driving around in silence, time is an illusion plus remembering a raspberry vanilla swirl frozen yogurt. You know, the usual. 

https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein

An exhilarating trip to Staples, making eye contact with James Harden, plus forgiving everyone except James Harden for being so iconic. Nothing but the best for episode 149.

https://open.substack.com/pub/chasebernstein/p/as-it-were?r=19m396&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

A Duolingo math confession, an external hard drive purchase, a hike in the rain, terabytes. Episode 148, anyone? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0biIAApETo

https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein/membership

The altitude is high and so is my opinion on mini altoids. My journey with gum is assessed as well as a brief thought on fiberglass. No words were minced or diced in episode 147. 

If it seems like I just found an injured woodpecker and drove it to a rehabilitation center in Calabasas it's because I just did. 

Recorded on the brink of purchasing a dry brush from Etsy, episode 145 delves into habits, water fountains, warped floors and Denver Nuggets parallels. MVP me. 

https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1jG09cGjM8

Need I say more? 

https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAdlxSbmTRc

Three unearthed crystals. Two hike related narratives, one glistening black Italian greyhound plus a ladybug inundation. Como se dice, we're back. 

Slipping into the new year equipped with Super Duolingo, and two days of French under my belt... truly a high like no other. A tiktok shop hesitation, a free croissant from Starbucks, plus a Pinkberry Rite/Aid dissertation. Typing this having read 46 books last year and sans a shred of jewelry, you'll understand soon enough. 

I've recovered from an illness just in time to enjoy the exotic festivities of Hanukkah as well as partake in an unhinged bagel exchange whilst knee deep into a migraine. The aforementioned carbohydrates undoubtedly gave me the fuel I needed to cover such topics as: Going to a party alone, a candle miscalculation, and a vicious tirade against footnotes and technology. They say people start slowing down in December, which is funny... because I'm just starting to ramp up. 

Sipping a glass of frothy chocolate milk, as I put the finishing touches on episode 140, in which Black Friday is ripped to shreds, my digital vision board is live, a sub par Thanksgiving salad plus "the vanilla to end all vanillas." Don't fight it. 

What am I grateful for? Well, let's see... I'm grateful to be celebrating my one year Duolingo anniversary, I'm grateful for the woman at the grocery store who was on my level, and I'm grateful for my hair length epiphany. What I'm not grateful for is the fact that I was never a camp counselor, that I don't actively own a clipboard, and Nikola Jokic being ejected before halftime of the Nuggets Pistons game. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, please pass the crescent rolls. 

By the time you read this there will be 47 days left in the calendar year, and unlike Marie Condo, we're not jumping ship. Rather, we're emulating the Nuggets in their jaw dropping win over the New Orleans Pelicans last week. If the Pelicans weren't on the endangered species list, they're all but extinct now. Typing this with the freshest hair trim this side of the Mississippi... the other side as well.

Halloween etiquette, a car wash, a dog at the door, a fabric shaver, John Steinbeck, dolphins, turtles and my dad's Barnes and Noble gift card... which of these things don't belong? Trick question, they all do, to episode 137. Enjoy. 

Comedian Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life in a stream of consciousness filled with humor, observation and a splash of rage. While we love to think life is defined by the big events, ultimately it's the trips to CVS, Trader Joe's, and the special yet forgotten interactions in between that comprise our days. Chase is here to celebrate the subtleties through a genuine and hilarious lens. As one listener put it, "What's the show about? Nothing. Everything. Wow." While another said, "This podcast is ridiculous and I cannot stop listening!" So what do you have to lose? N...

This week's installment was recorded with extra eyelashes from my sister's wedding, a place where my mom lost an earring... or did she? All this plus, doing things poolside, nightmares and corn pancakes. Honestly unreal I'm still recording episodes. 

Absolutely needed to be said. 

jolieskinco.com/chasebernstein

Recording episode 134 from the depths of my dad's gazebo, sans my glass coffee table (you'll understand soon enough) was not for the faint of heart. Then again neither were the topics touched upon: an excruciating post office experience, surprise parties plus a recounted Trader Joe's interaction that will leave you shaken. 

Plus the emotional rollercoaster of meeting Bill Simmon's during the peak hours of the Lions Gate portal. 

Uni Body Serum Code: CHASEBERNSTEIN

weareuni.com/CHASEBERNSTEIN

Recorded in a red cashmere sweater and driven by the momentum of rising in the ranks of Duo Lingo's obsidian league, episode 132 has arrived. Suitcase regrets, bracing for Disneyland, plus a shocking live reaction that will shake you to your very core. Grab some headphones, lay down in a dark room, and enjoy. 

There's 100 days left in the year and what's not on the agenda is being scammed by someone named Tomothy, brown butter lattes or hand sand art. What is on the agenda? Books, ballet and channeling the Denver Nuggets tenacity vs. the Golden State Warriors in the Monte Morris buzzer beater game on Februrary 16th, 2022. 

Jolie Shower Head Code: jolieskinco.com/chasebernstein

A harrowing recap of my In N Out employment journey, a nutless Rocky Road (not a metaphor) plus one of the most unsatisfying meals of my life and the age old question; Who is Desiree? All will be revealed in episode 130. 

Jolie Shower head code: jolieskinco.com/chasebernstein

Zebra print, August, downloading the Jamba Juice app, what more you could want from episode 129 I'm not sure. 

Link for Jolie Shower head: jolieskinco.com/chasebernstein

Video episode

A tropical storm ushers in heavy rain as well as episode 128, and the topics are pouring in in the form of: The case for smaller museums, a top 5 waiter, rehashing the Naked juice scandal, and getting dressed. A poncho won't save you now. 

It's the three year anniversary of the podcast and confessions are made. Many questioned whether I'd make it this far, and yet, here I am, absolutely taking deep dish pizza to task whilst recounting an exceptional encounter with a starbucks employee. Plus, a tortuous, commercial ridden Spotify experience, and I debut a song. Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can't do. Thank you to everyone who listens and supports

Episode 126 is a hearty meal featuring notes of the excitement one can only feel before taking in Taylor Swift live in concert, with notes of Bulgarian yogurt and a potentially groundbreaking observation re: caterpillars/ butterflies. We will not be offering dessert as there will be absolutely no room. 

Fresh off another emotional stint at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, reeling from visually drinking in thousands of caterpillars, smelling incredible via some new scents, and finishing Sopranos in its entirety, I give you... episode 125.

Recorded on the precipice of receiving yet another rental car... In the present of  havoc reeking parrot interruptions, and a few weeks past 7/11 free slurpee day- episode 124 is already shattering records. Greedy for more accolades, 124 also touches on the Barbie movie, sand dollars, and Uruguay. 

A fireworks epiphany, not being in denial about the weather, a powerful Mendocino Farms lesson, outdated agendas, two parents named Stacey... you know who's not on summer break? Episode 123.