The Dildorks

Why is it so hot sometimes to take things slow? This week, we discuss the joys of sexual and romantic “slow burns”!

What is a Slow Burn? | Denial | Pandemic | Sustained Attention | Fun, Painful, or Both? | Non-Monogamy | Letting Things Build | Bad at Flirting – Please Be Blunt | Demonstrating Interest | Making a Move | Long-Term Relationships | Chastity & Cuckolding | Disappointments | “Yes, And”-ing | The Ick | Demisexuality | Savoring

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we’re discussing interesting fetishes from the internet, including extra-large Fleshlights, opening Magic cards naked, a straight couple roleplaying Heated Rivalry, and more!

Sex with Strangers | Fraysexuality | Anticipation & Flirting | “Hotdog in a Hallway” | Loose Fleshlights | Opening Card Packs | Guys Doing “Girl Voices” | Heated Rivalry Roleplay | Prone Masturbation | Breast Against Dick

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Does group sex hit different in your thirties? This week, we reflect on our evolving relationships to threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc.
 

Party Trick | Popular Fantasy | The Invite (2026) | Why Is It Hot? | Essay on Spectatoring in Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma (2026) | Through Their Eyes | Desirability & Self-Worth | Pleasure Distribution | Who’s In Charge? | Co-Bottoming | A Different Perspective | Negotiation | Aftercare | Limits | Safer Sex | Feeling Left Out | Finding People | Unicorn-Hunting

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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How do you maintain a vibrant sex life when tired and in pain all the time? This week Billy interviews Kate about her chronic illness, and the ways she’s used kink to manage it and feel better about it.
 

Fainting & POTS | Caretaking & Bottoming | Kneeling | Adaptive Products | Chronic Pain | Weed | Flexibility & Muscle Strength | Queening Chairs | Risk vs. Reward | Laundry | Energy Budgeting | Self-Blame | Fatigue & Sleepy Sex | Broken & Lucky | Dominance | Princess Treatment | Hell on Wheels & Kneeling in Spirit | Resentment & Guilt | Service | Chastity & Denial | Bondage & Pressure | Sadomasochism | Good Pain vs. Bad Pain | Disclosing | Intoxication Concerns | Excessive Caution

C...

Why are we so drawn to sexuality as a discussion topic and field of study, and how are people in our industry treated differently than those with more “vanilla” jobs? This week, we examine the intersections of sex and professionalism!

Why Sex? | Self-Discovery & Freedom | Frivolity & Familiarity | Projection | Professionalism | Beacon of Permission | What Do You Want? | Traits | Poker Face | SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment) | Know Thyself

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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What is “competence kink,” and why is someone being good at things such a common turn-on? This week, we discuss our favorite competencies in others and in ourselves, and what makes them so hot.
 

Is It a Kink? | Confidence | Our Favorite Competencies | Passion | Quickness & Focus | Planning | Our Competencies | Emotional Intelligence | Soft Skills & Bottoming | Bravery of Vulnerability | Transferrable to Sex? | Listening & Paying Attention | Being Bad at Things | Kink Scenes | Distraction Play | Confident Headspace | Competency Wishlist | Dancing

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Is real-life romance anything like a Hollywood romantic comedy? This week we’re discussing portrayals of love and relationships in fiction, and what makes a love story feel real and grounded, versus hollow and schmaltzy.
 

The Invite (2026) | I Want Your Sex (2026) | Relationship Movies | High Fidelity (2000) | When Harry Met Sally… (1989) | Barriers to Union | Love Triangles | The F Word/What If (2013) | Threesome (1994) | Sanctuary (2022) | Skylight (2024) | Friends-to-Lovers | Plus One (2019) | Romantic Comedies vs. Romantic Dramas | What Feels Romantic? | Sleeping with Other People (2015) | A Lot Like Love (2005) | Matt and Mara (2024) | I Love You, Man (2009) | Fantasy vs. Reality | A Perfect Pair | Say Anything… (1989) | Not Fri...

How do you maintain a friendship with someone who lives far away? We’ve done it for over a decade now, so this week we’re sharing our best advice on long-distance friendships!

Romantic vs. Platonic | Where We’ve Met Them | Two Cities | Prepping to Leave | A Reason to Talk | “Thought of You!” | Frequency & Consistency | “Let’s Be Friends!” | Group Hangs | Real-Time Communication | Unfiltered Reactions | PowerPoint Party | Activities | Intentionality | ADHD & Chronic Illness | Lateness | Energy Limitations | Note-Taking | Benefits | Outside Perspective | Travel

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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“Meeting the parents” can be stressful for everyone involved, so this week we’re giving our best advice on it, including from a queer and polyamorous perspective!

Introducing the BF/Metamour | Grokking Polyamory | “Ohh, That’s Why You’re Like This” | When To Do It | Gender Competency | Jumping the Gun | What to Pre-Seed | Going Bad vs. Going Good | Escape Plan | When to Stand Down | Etiquette | Respect | Coming Out As Poly | Parents Dislike Them

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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We’re answering more questions about lube this week, including which ones are best for travel, which drugstore lubes are actually decent, whether you should bring your own lube to a sex party, and more!

Dill Pickle Lube | Travel-Friendly Lubes | Uberlube Good to Go | Good Clean Love Almost Naked | Astroglide Silicone | Astroglide Spray ’n Glide | Good Clean Love Hint of Mint | Judging Someone’s Lube | Better Than Baseline | Non-Standard Usages | Condom | Sex Party | Playing Without Lube | Food or Drink | Gender Affirmation | Lube Accessories | Automatic Lube Dispenser | Dame Grip | Warming It Up | Lube Shooters

Credi...

This week, Kate and her wife mb interview Jessie Nelson, inventor of the SoleHole, a new foot fetish toy for couples that Kate recently reviewed. Jessie told us all about how he designed, prototyped and launched this innovative toy!

Mobility Issues | Artistic & Electrical Background | “Aha” Moment | Prototypes | Stretchy Band | Tightness | The Name | Balldo | Claustrophobic Mask | Launch & Reception | Surprising Reactions | Sizing | Non-Fetishists | Lube | FuckWater | Grinder | Approaching Manufacturers | Purple | Vibration | Other Ideas | Plug of War | Other Foot Toys | Social Media | Shame | Cultural Shift | Business Partner

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Ad...

Lubricant is a basic part of sex for many people, but there are actually a lot of considerations that go into choosing a good one. This week, we discuss our experiences with lube, and give advice on using it!

Our First Lubes | System JO | Bottle Design | Initial Apprehensions | Blossom Organics | Must-Have Accessory | Spit as Lube | Textural Differences | Sliquid Silk | Sliquid Organics Gel | Sliquid Sassy | Sutil Rich | Uberlube | Alternate Uses | Monistat Chafing Relief Gel | Her Highness THC Oil | Warming & Cooling | A Shortcut | Beginner Tips | Oil-Based Lubes | Flavored Lubes | Sliquid Swirl | LubeLife Dill Pickle Lube | Numbing Lubes | P...

Hope your Pride month has been lovely so far! We’re celebrating by discussing some of our favorite queer media and what makes it feel authentically queer.
 

Queer Friends | Sex Representation | Sexual Communication | Talking About Being Queer | Homophobia & Coming Out | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward | Leviticus (2026) | I Saw the TV Glow (2024) | Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026) | Blue Moon (2025) | Present Laughter (2019) | Handsome Devil (2016) | No Ordinary Man (2020) | Rope (1948) | The Favourite (2018) | The Handmaiden (2016) | Kissing Jessica Stein (2001) | Forbidden Love (1992) | Cloudburst (2011) | D.E.B.S. (2004) | Angels in America miniseries | Fellow Travelers | Myra Breckinridge (1970) | Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) | Que...

We’ve got some interesting new fetishes from the internet to discuss this week, including jetsetter rimjobs, faux pregnancy, women with apples for heads, and more!

Cunnilingus & Airplanes | Mile High Club | “Dating a Porn Star” | “Happy Boners” & Wedding Planning | Public Pregnancy Play | Roleplaying as Historical Figures | Pussy Degradation | Headless Women

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Happy Pride month, everybody! This week, we discuss our history with Pride, our current feelings on it, and tips for newbies – and we also recommend some of our favorite gay movies.
 

Year-Round vs. One Month | Our Pride Feelings | Self-Expression | Body-Positivity | Queer History & Art | BloodSisters (1995) | Word is Out (1977) | Framing Agnes (2022) | P.S. Burn This Letter Please (2020) | Pride (2014) | The Fathers Project (2020) | The Birdcage (1996) | Brokeback Mountain (2005) | Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) | How to Survive a Plague (2012) | Heightened Scrutiny (2025) | Who’s Allowed at Pride? | Gatekeeping | Cops & Corporations | The Actual Parade | Planning Your Pride | Outfits

Credits:

Mus...

This week, we’re answering listener questions on a variety of topics, from squirting to piercings to fetishes!
 

TMI | Penile Squirting Study | “Gush” by Kate Sinclaire | Pierced Dicks | AB/DL | Regression & Play | Blog Post on Diaper Play | Duelling Penises | Public Sex Locations | Fetish, or Me? | Ace-Spectrum Fetishists

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Pet play is a popular kink that has spawned many interesting subcultures, so this week we’re talking about our own experiences roleplaying as cats, dogs, and more.
 

Kittens & Bunnies | Headspace | No Need to Speak | Primal Play | Physical Limitations | Dignified vs. Gross/Wild | Animal Archetypes | Power & Autonomy | Pigs | Horses | Jungle Cats | Turtles | Fantasy Creatures | Whiskers (1997) | Unicorns | Sex | S&M | Toppy Pets | Kink Subcultures

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Makeup is an important part of many people’s self-expression, both in and out of the bedroom – so this week, we discuss how cosmetics intersect with kink, gender, queerness, and more!

Eyeliner | “Wanna Do Our Makeup Together?” | Origin Story | Self-Care Ritual | Artistic Expression | “I Like You Better Without Makeup” | Male Gaze | For You vs. For Others | Deciding on a Look | Queers vs. Straights | Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade | Kink Headspaces | Makeup in Scenes | Lipstick Problem vs. Brain Problem | First-Timer Tips | Skincare | Makeup Longevity | Blowjob Lipsticks | Maybelline Matte Ink Lipstick | MAC Liquidlast Eyeliner | Smeared Makeup | Forced Makeover | Red Lipstick | Re...

Learning about your sexuality is a lifelong journey, so this week we discussed the process of acquiring/discovering kinks that are new to you and exploring them for the first time.
 

Discovering vs. Creating | Recurring Themes | Taboo & Novelty | Expectation vs. Reality | Craving Newness | Resistance to Change | Why Is It Hot? | 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do | Starting Solo | Beginner-Friendly Scenes | Budget Constraints | Shame & Cringe | Self-Judgment & Guilt | Archetypes & Metaphors | Our Newest Kinks

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Happy belated 4/20! We’re celebrating as we always do: by getting high and answering listener-submitted hypothetical questions about sex, dating, and masturbating.
 

The Last Prisoner Project | Time Travel | Tim Travers and the Time Traveler’s Paradox (2024) | Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025) | About Time (2013) | Groundhog Day (1993) | Palm Springs (2020) | Time Travel Sex Ethics | Meet Cute (2022) | A Christmas Carol | A World Without Anal | “I Wanna Breed That Person” | Forced Non-Binarization | Sentient Sex Toys | Post-Orgasm Truth Serum

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we’re discussing metamours, i.e. our partners’ partners – partly because Kate’s recently been on some dates with one of hers!
 

Defining ‘Metamour’ | Kitchen Table vs. Garden Party | Comparison | Disclosure | Privacy vs. Secrecy | Growth & Risk | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | What to Share | Advice from Partners | Metamour-Like Relationships | Different Facets of Oneself | Meeting a Metamour

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week, Billy interviews Calvin Hauer, a sex-positive therapist based in Minneapolis, about being out as queer/kinky and how that can affect the therapy process for both clients and practitioners.
 

Ethics of Self-Disclosure | In Community with Clients | Being Out as Kinky | Erotic Transference & Counter-Transference | Unequal By Design | Kink-Aware vs. Kink-Experienced | The Leather Couch | Kink Origins | Pathologizing Kink | Authenticity | Fisting | Clients Disclosing Kinks | The PLISSIT Model | Hiring & Firing Therapists

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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We’re busting more sex toy myths this week, including the infamous medical origin story of the vibrator, orgasm guarantees, and a dearth of toys for dicks!
 

Vibrator Invention Myth | Hysteria (2011) | The Technology of Orgasm by Rachel Maines | Buzz by Hallie Lieberman | No Toys for Dicks? | Only for Single People | Orgasm Guarantees | Different Toys | “Anything’s a Dildo If You’re Brave Enough” | Funkit Toys NoFrilldos

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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There are countless myths and misconceptions about sex toys, and this week we try to set the record straight on a few of them!
 

Vibrator Numbness | Vibe as Scapegoat | Rendered Obsolete | Shere Hite Book | The Hite Report | Bigger = Better? | Vibrations on the Nose | Stretched Out | Toy Cleaner

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Is large penetration a goal worth aspiring to? This week we discuss our evolving feelings on fisting and other forms of XXL penetration!
 

Current Feelings | Can Anyone Be Fisted? | Journey vs. Destination | Fist vs. Fingers | Njoy Eleven | Vixen Gambler | Hand Weakness/Pain | Emotional Effects | Guts Rearranged | Penis Size | Unicorn Collaborators Hand Harness | Fist-Shaped Dildos | Vixen Randy | Epiphora’s Randy Diary | Sliquid Silk | J-Lube

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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There are always interesting new fetishes to discover! This week we’re discussing some unusual kinks we’ve heard about lately, from latex-sheathed blowjobs to cringe masturbation to being “friendzoned.”
 

“Chasing” Someone Unavailable | Hands | Condom’ed Blowjobs | Skyn Condoms | Flavored Lubes by Sliquid, Wicked, & LubeLife | Being Friendzoned | Cajoling a Boyfriend Into Sex | Denial Kink | Cringe | “Unattractive People” | Webbing Between Fingers | Fisting & Hand Pics

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Giving advice can get tricky when you’re polyamorous (or just prone to messy romantic drama), so this week we’re offering more advice on giving advice!

No Sex on a Date | Will Not Advise | Criticism vs. Praise | Parenting Advice | Authority & Influence | Advising a Partner | Too Much Bias | Mad at a Metamour | People Who Don’t Take Advice | Sex & Kink Coaching

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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We love giving advice, so this week we’re advising you on advising – how and when to give helpful advice, the best ways to ask for it, and the common mistakes we’ve made in these areas.
 

Different Dataset | Context | Solicited | Vulnerability | Commands | Asking Questions | Mental State | Pointing Out Patterns | Asking for Advice | Phrasing the Ask | Emotional Validation | Empathy or Strategy? | How to Take Advice

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This week we celebrated by answering listener questions about love and romance.
 

Crying on V-Day | Romance vs. Friendship | Curiosity & Merging | Codependency | “One True Love” | Dean Spade Essay | “Be Mine” | Polyamorous Valentine’s | Social Media | “The One That Got Away”

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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We used to talk about spanking all the time, but is it still one of our favorite kinks? This week we discuss our current feelings on impact play!
 

Jump-Scared by Bruises | Spanking vs. Beating | Jillian Keenan Videos | Bastinado | Random Punching | Topping | Evolving Relationship | The Artist & the Pervert | Non-Consensual Spanking | Not a Punishment | Thuddy vs. Stingy | Chronic Pain | Implements | Wood vs. Leather | Weal & Breech | London Tanners Strap | Bookweight | Miss Rose Paddles | LilfoxToybox | Holo Leather | Purple Passion | Pickup Play | Emotional Risk | Intoxicants | Communication Tools

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison F...

This week, we chat with dating coach/columnist (and former pickup artist) Harris O’Malley, a.k.a. Doctor NerdLove, whose work we’ve admired for a long time! He gave us some advice on flirting, dating, conversational skills, and more.

Pickup Artistry | Dark Night of the Soul | Fear of Rejection | What Even Is Flirting? | Bad at Flirting – Please Be Blunt | Neurodivergent Nerds | Rules vs. Vibes | Disarmingly Honest | Asking No Questions | The Question Game | Breaking the Touch Barrier | Sex(y) Conversations | Staying in the Moment | Improv Skills | Building Social Momentum | What If? (2013) | Sleeping with Other People...

Romantic yearning can be deeply painful, but it’s also kinda hot and fun. This week we discuss our experiences with this unique emotion in contexts like long-distance relationships and unrequited love.

Is It Good? | General vs. Specific | Desire | Defining ‘Yearning’ | Emotional Sadomasochism | Long-Distance | Enjoying It | Creative Outlet | Incels | Heated Rivalry | Gendered Tropes | Men’s Emotions | Yandere | Taking Initiative | Neediness | Turning It Up or Down | Sexual Yearning | Receiving End

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week, we discuss our favorite sexual fantasies of 2025, the sex & dating goals we set for ourselves last year, and our new goals for 2026.
 

Fantasies | Sex Robots | Work Sex | Forced to Be Bored | Safer Sex | Anonymous Sex | Femdom & Dorky Virgins | Toronto vs. New York | Double Penetration | Sex Nerd Workspace | Sex For Fun | Communicating Better | Socializing | Sex Therapy School | Queer Media Archiving | Good Gender Feelings | Questions on Dates | New Goals | Non-Sex Hobbies | PIV Orgasms | Love | The Internet | Beginner’s Mind

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Bec...

Happy new year! This week we’re reflecting on the biggest changes in our sex & dating lives in 2025, the sex toys we loved most, and the weirdest sex we had all year.
 

Rest & Movies | Overall Changes | Hookups | Libido Troubles | Horny 4 Intimacy | Living Together | Low-Dose Naltrexone | Emotional Energy | Monogamous Crushes | New Things | BJ Buddy | Random Act of Muff Dive | Belly Stuff | Fingered in a Park | De-Escalation | Tail-Fucking | PIV & CBT | We-Vibe Tango X | Doc Johnson Mochi Stroker | Lovense Lush Mini | Magic Wand Waterproof | Lelo Switch | Pre-Breakup Sex | Best/Weirdest Sex

Credits:

Music by PRO...

Happy holidays to those celebrating! We’re discussing objectification kink again this week, through a seasonal lens.
 

Holiday Stress | Giving People as Gifts | Sex Coupons & Cards | Re-Focusing | Manhandling | Bored & Ignored | Sexualizing vs. Objectifying | Previous Holiday Episodes (1, 2, 3)

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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What does it mean to be ‘objectified’ in a kink scene, and how is that different from the other, less-hot ways one can be objectified? This week we’re discussing the nuances of this complex kink.
 

Nonconsensual Objectification | Marginalization & Trust | Just a Hole | Empathy | What’s Hot About It? | Quiet Mind | Authentic Desire | The New Topping Book | Favorite Object | Praise | Environment & Vibe | Distraction Play | Glory Holes | Objectifying Doms | 101 Kinky Things

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we dive deeper into kinky-on-vanilla relationships, discussing how to tell if someone might be vanilla, how to explore kink outside of a newly-opened relationship, and whether fantasy and porn can be good substitutes for IRL kink.
 

Language & CBT | How to Spot Vanillas | Kinky Flirting | In Love With a Vanilla Person | Opening the Relationship | Polyamorous Kinksters | Fantasy & Porn | Basic Skillset | SIMMER Negotiation Guide | “Maybe Later” | “Read This, Please!”

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Can a kinkster be truly satisfied dating a vanilla person, and vice-versa? This week we discuss bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners!
 

Dating Apps | Time & Place | Kinky Linguistic Cues | Defining “Vanilla” | Sexual Hobbyism | Our Experiences with Vanilla People | Willing vs. Want | Explaining Why | Rejecting Vanillas | Don’t Settle | Beginner-Friendly Resources | 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do | Why Are People Into That? | The New Topping Book + The New Bottoming Book

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Can it be romantic to get spanked, stepped on, and bossed around? Absolutely! This week, Billy interviews Kate about how her submissiveness is deeply entangled with her romantic desires.
 

Depth & Vulnerability | Are They Linked? | Intrinsic Desire & Earnest Belief | Submissive Romantic Desire | You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For | Being Seen | Masochism | Kinksters’ Communication | Self-Assuredness | Romantic Aesthetics | Falling Into Subspace | Admiration & Respect | Girl on the Net Post | Empty Praise | Romance Kink | Against Chill | Tricked Into Feelings | Incompatibility

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we’ve got a whole new batch of interesting fetishes from Reddit to discuss, from trees to heavy metal music to illusionists.

Making Them Work For It | Dendrophilia (Tree Sex) | Ecosexuality | Salon Capes | Sawed in Half | Organs | Elmer’s Glue | Paramedics | Heavy Metal | Moshing | Pool Table Cunnilingus | 101 Kinky Things Audiobook

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

...