The Dildorks

This week, we celebrated International Kissing Day by answering listener questions about kissing!
 

“We Should Make Out” | Hormone Changes | Kissing Men | Consent-Asks | Feeling Overwhelmed | Toys & Practice | Sexual Stimulation

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week, while Kate’s moving from Toronto to New York, Billy chats with his partner Dee Darkholme about THEIR recent move, and what it’s been like adjusting to living together with Dee’s other partner.
 

Living with 2 Partners | Opposite vs. Similar | Communication & Criticism | Sex Issues | Having People Over | Decoration Decisions | Complementary Strengths | Alone Time | Nice Things

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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How do you get over a friend who doesn’t like you back? This week, we wade deeper into the topic of unrequited feelings within a friendship.
 

Crush Eras | “The Friendzone” | Straight vs. Queer Scripts | Gendered Narratives | Processing Unrequited Feelings | Re-Channelling Obsessions | Grieving

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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What happens when you catch feelings for your friend? This week, we discuss the tricky art of keeping a friendship afloat while attraction rocks the boat.
 

When Feelings Dissipate | Developing Feelings | When to Say Something | Changing the Label | Flirting vs. Being Direct | Flirting is Hot | Soft No vs. Hard No | When to Let It Go | Gender Imbalances | Should You Tell Them?

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Friendships with benefits are an important part of our sexual landscape, so this week we discuss how to navigate casual ongoing sexual partnerships with kindness and grace.
 

FWBs vs. Fuckbuddies | Demisexuality | Romantic Attraction | Safety & Trust | Familiarity & Practice | Sex is Fun | Intimacy & Connection | Finding a FWB | Asking a Friend | Labeling | “What Are You Looking For?” | “We Should Make Out” | Relationship Escalator | Managing Expectations

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Sexual pleasure can be wonderful self-care, even during some low-libido times. This week we discuss our favorite methods of sexual self-care.
 

Happy Pride Month! | Not Jerking Off | Perfunctory Masturbation | Reducing Friction | Opportunities to Feel Sexy | Sexual Health | Setting & Enforcing Boundaries | Self-Knowledge | Focusing on Pleasure | Curiosity & Creativity | “Just Do It”?

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week Kate chats with her wife mb about how HRT (hormone replacement therapy) can affect transfeminine people’s skin sensitivity, orgasm intensity, desire levels, and more!

Your Mileage May Vary | Softer Skin | Girl Smell | Erectile Changes | Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire | Maintaining Erectile Function | Context & a “Why” | Hormonal Cycle | Sensitivity | /r/GrowYourClit | Orgasms | Cum | Domming & Topping | Subbing & Bottoming | Aftercare | Penile Health Maintenance | Dancing | Trans Healthcare Access

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Happy Masturbation Month to those who celebrate! This week we’re answering listener questions on jerkin’ it.

Want to Want It | Solo Pain Play | Masochism vs. Self-Harm | Fantasies Making a Comeback | Achievable Fantasies | Pets in the Room

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Living with your polycule: bad idea, or best idea? This week we discuss the emotional and practical realities of Billy’s recent decision to move in with his partner and metamour!
 

Kitchen Table Polyamory | Combining Households | Chore Distribution | Building New Routines | Bedroom Privacy | Gross Little Gremlin | Largest Room | Fears | Chosen Family | Poly Stigma | Complementary Skillsets

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week, Kate chats with friend of the show Addison Finch about the ritual and reverence of bootblacking, and what we can learn about our current political moment from studying the history of kink.
 

CLAGS Lecture Series | Leather History | Can Straight People Be “Leather”? | Kink Awakening | History & Context | Kink Reading Group | Activism & Organizing | Bootblacking & Leather Care | Boot Worship Scenes | Longevity of Leather

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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As is tradition, this week we celebrate 4/20 by getting intoxicated and answering silly hypothetical questions about sex.
 

Last Prisoner Project | Movie Quotes | Cooking Implements | Tantus Plunge | BJ Dildo | Condiments | Exes & Past Selves | Gifting Kinks | Inanimate Objects | Fireworks

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Whether you prefer to plan dates or have them planned for you, a date’s location or activity can play a big role in how well it goes – so this week we discuss how to successfully plan early dates with a new person.
 

Whose Responsibility? | Providing Input | Dietary Restrictions | Go-To Locations | Civil Liberties | Pour Boy | Activity vs. Conversation | Movies & Museums | Too Loud | Poor Planning & Incompatibility | Free/Cheap Date Ideas | “Sexy” Dates | Kate’s Upcoming Musical Improv Shows

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Lots of people like to incorporate multimedia into their sexting, so this week we discuss the benefits of sending voice memos and provocative pictures, among other things.
 

Eggplant Emoji | Shy Texters | Digital & Emotional Context | Parenting | Voice Notes | Phone Sex | Lewds & Nudes | Photography Tips

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week we discuss some of our favorite things about sexting – like how it can build rapport, establish compatibility, and even increase your empathy.
 

Filling Time at Work | Why We Love Sexting | During Daily Life | Intent & Desire | Good Sexts = Good Sex? | What Makes It Good/Bad? | Talk About the Clit | “Yes, And”-ing | Word Preferences | Attunement | Suddenly Vanishing | “Don’t Know What to Say” | Self-Censoring Critic | Psychological Element | Multi-Threaded Conversations | Metacommunication | Words & Empathy

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week, we answer more questions about asking questions – including questions that can help you suss out somebody’s politics or kinks, negotiate safer sex protocols, and (maybe) call the whole thing off.
 

Personal Questions | Touchy Subjects | Political Alignment | STI Testing | Disclosing Kinkiness | Assessing Chemistry

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Diving deeper into our recent discussion on how curiosity is sexy, this week we discuss the practice of asking questions on dates: why it matters, why it’s hot, and what kinds of questions we like to ask and be asked.
 

Why Ask Questions? | Demonstrating Interest | Assessing Compatibility | Conversational Labor | Building Connection | Carrying the Conversation | Different Conversational Styles | Easy Questions | Questions We’ve Loved

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Polyamorous dating can be pretty different depending on whether you’re single versus in a long-term relationship already; this week we discuss our experiences of both kinds.
 

Primary vs. Anchor | Hierarchy | Scarcity vs. Abundance | Avoiding Codependency | Growth & Change | New Relationship Energy | Monogamous-Minded People | Dating Newbies | Bringing It Up | New People | Couples’ Privilege | Security | Humanizing Metamours

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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...

This week we’re discussing some interesting and unusual fetishes we’ve stumbled across recently, from glossy magazines to nail-biting to haircutting.
 

Glossy Magazines | Eggs | Job Ethics | Squidly Co. (Discount Code DILDORKS20) | Non-Consensual Haircutting | Forced Masculinization | Nail-Biting | Context-Dependent Desires

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we discuss two crucial qualities that can make you exponentially better in bed (and out of bed, too): curiosity and creativity.

Sexual Skills | Communication | Curiosity | Accepting Feedback | Limitations | Compassion & Empathy | Conflicts & Problem-Solving | Solo Curiosity | Curiosity is Attractive | Asking Questions & Listening | Long-Term Relationships | Brainstorming & Decision-Making | “Short Kings”

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Pursuing pleasure isn’t always as easy as it may seem, so this week we’re discussing some common hurdles to pleasure and how to overcome them, among other things.
 

What is Pleasurable? | Resistance to Sensation | Underprepared for Pleasure | Hurdles | Daydreaming | Romanticizing Your Life | Posting About Pleasure | Nervous System Regulation | Mental Preparation | “How Can I Make This Fun?” | Workarounds for “Productivity” Anxieties | Idle Brain Time | Gender Euphoria | Public-Facing Persona | Suggestions

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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When times get tough, pleasure becomes more important than ever. This week, we discuss our favorite ways of accessing pleasure, and the role it plays in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom.
 

Pleasure Activism | “A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats” | Taking the Leap | Beacon of Pleasure Permission | Our Favorite Pleasures | Cocktails & Rituals | Cleaning & Organizing | Learning & Improving | Savoring | Joy as Resistance | Pain & Masochism | Conversations | Chastity & Denial | Disordered Eating (42:00–46:50) | Alleviation of Discomfort | Trans Youth Healthcare Action

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we’re continuing to discuss some of our favorite films about the LGBTQ+ experience – plus a few about non-monogamy and sex work, for good measure!
 

750GB of Trans Content | Obsession & Bigotry | Sylvia Scarlett | Call Me Kate | Katharine Hepburn | Angels in America | Spirituality for Queers | Fellow Travelers | The Apprentice | Lavender Marriage | Some Like It Hot | Tootsie | She’s the Man | Disclosure | Mulan | Cruising | Dog Day Afternoon | The Dog | Theodora Goes Wild | Design for Living | Two Girls and a Guy | Fire Island | The Leather Boys | The Telephone Book | The Heart Machine | Love and a Major Organ | Sanctua...

We needed a dose of queer resilience this week (maybe you do too!), so we’re talking about some of our favorite queer films and the evolution of LGBTQ+ cinema.
 

The News | Hope Throughout History | The Struggle | The Birdcage | The Celluloid Closet | Philadelphia | Straight Actors in Queer Roles | Making Love | Nathan & Robin on Oprah | Ben-Hur | Hays Code | Saturday Night | Coming Out & Outing People | The Children’s Hour | Shame & Self-Loathing | Framing Agnes | Cis vs. Trans Audiences | Before Stonewall | Forbidden Love | P.S. Burn This Letter Please | Kumu Hina | The Final Member | Scotty and the Secret History of Holly...

This week we get real vulnerable (and a li’l intoxicated) and tell you about some of our favorite new fantasies from 2024, the goals we set for our sex lives last year, and what we want to try in 2025.
 

Fantasies | Pleasure Inequality | Meta-Fantasies | Plausibility | Zero-Consequences Room | Severance | No Nut November | Skull-Fucking | Last Year’s Goals | New Goals | Paring Down | DP | Ask For What You Want | Sex for Pleasure, Not Money | Sex Therapy | Socializing | Good Gender Feelings | Archiving Media

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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How did you grow and change in 2024 when it comes to sex and relationships? This week, we’re reflecting on our biggest (and kinkiest) shifts over the past year, plus discussing our current favorite sex toys.

Overall Shifts | Uneventful? | Openness to Long-Distance | Alone Time & Codependency | New Things | Rimming | Horny Genders | Cryo | Penis Pumps | Cages & Sleep Sex | VR Porn, Trance Triggers & Flat Cages | Mod Love Deluxe Thruster | Kate’s Favorite Toys of 2024 | Lovecore Night King | Myth

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Vocal tone can have a big effect on kink scenes and everyday conversations alike, so this week we’re discussing our feelings on voices and dirty talk.

Dirty Talk & Humiliation | Voice Kink & Praise Kink | Long-Distance | Off-Camera vs. On | Speaking vs. Typing | Attraction | The Ick | Performativity | Billy’s Yes/No/Maybe List | Gender & Pitch | Dom & Sub Voices | Archetypes & Parts | Gender & Bottoming

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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People are always coming up with new and interesting fetishes, and this week we discuss some unusual ones we’ve seen lately.

Current Definition | “Deviating” from the “Norm” | Taboo & Shame | Cream Pies & Facesitting | Bubble-Blowing | Sex Work Stigma | Mind-Reading | Sex Worker Fetish | Accelerator & Brakes

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week, a conversation about denial kink devolves into a wide-ranging discussion of gendered sex narratives, the kinky legacies of trauma, and the Big Nut.

Orgasms vs. Other Stuff | Enough to Make You Blush | (Lack of) Power | Motivation & Specialness | Big Shiny Stakes | Self-Worth & “Deservingness” | Family Influences | Working Toward a Reward | Healing | Topping | “Throw ‘Em a Bone” | “Men Only Want One Thing” | Hyperawareness | Begging | Solo Processing | Orgasm Intensity | Mindfulness & Meaning

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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What if celebrity crushes can be healthy, actually? This week, we discuss some of the benefits of parasocial relationships, for people on both sides of the slash.
 

Masculinity in the Sex Shop | Benefits for Crush-er | Emotional Energy | Low Investment | Is It New? | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Dead Famous | Stalkers | Benefits for Crush-ee | Motivation & Inspiration | Needing Reassurance | Fame & Self-Expression | Persona vs. Self | “Cool Guy” Masculinity | Domme Energy | Something More?

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week Kate and her spouse mb discuss the politics and philosophy of No Nut November, and how it compares to chastity play.

NNN vs. Chastity Kink | Greater Purpose | Love & Affection | “Don’t Think About It” | Teasing | Sleep Hygiene | Insomnia | Working Out | Flagging | Unusual Turn-Ons | Concentration | Willpower & Inescapability | Political Spectrum | NNN’s Far-Right Roots | Locktober | Nut Hunters | Religion | Daily Task | Mandatory Semen Sample | Different Desires | Pussy-Free | Social Motivation | Friend As Keyholder

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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We’ve experienced parasocial relationships from both sides of the coin, so this week we’re discussing our experiences with this sometimes-nice, sometimes-yikes type of attraction.
 

That Fuckin’ Election, Man | People vs. Characters | “Mainstream” Pop Culture | Presumed Intimacy | Social Staircase | Is It A Problem? | Avoiding Vulnerability | Manic Pixie Fucktoy | Tech Adaptations | Crushworthy Traits

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Happy Halloween! This week we’re discussing our favorite fantasies outside the realm of realism.

Fantasies Changing Over Time | Impossibilities | Tropes & Genres | Hypnosis | Being Watched | Magic vs. Medicine | Mind-Reading | Fairies | Dragons | Love Potions | Settings & Mechanics

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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We’re taking the week off, so here’s the full, previously-unreleased conversation we had when Kate interviewed Billy for Making Magic in September of last year! We touched on the Magic Wand’s role in queer sex, trans sex, porn, kink, and our lives as a whole.
 

First Memories | Current Relationship to the Wand | Aesthetics | Porn | Conducting Vibrations | Dysphoria | Trans Sex | Queer Sex | “Best” Vibrator? | Tech Considerations | Kink | Safewords | Roleplay | Casual Hitachi’ing | Surgery Recovery

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week, we dig deeper into the fear of rejection, sharing some ways we cope with this fear in our own lives and discussing how cultural and hormonal factors can influence it.
 

Asking for Reassurance | Self-Soothing | What’s “Too Much”? | Incels | What Does Sex “Mean”? | Hormones | Confidence & Self-Awareness | Vote for Making Magic!

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Halloween is coming up, so we decided to talk about fear… of rejection!
 

Fear Fluctuations | Self-Soothing | Vulnerability Points | Pandemic Changes | Building Resiliency | What Are We Afraid Of? | Scarcity Mindset | “Hey, Fuck You!” | Rejecting vs. Rejected | “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers” | Guilt vs. Shame | Non-Monogamy | Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria | Vote for Making Magic!

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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Sadists get a bad rap sometimes, so this week we’re discussing some of the things we love about them.
 

Stigma | Consent | Emotional Complexity | Intimacy & Vulnerability | Fantasy vs. Desire | Empathy & Understanding | Trust & Holding Space | Communication Tools | Joy Over Normalcy | Comedy vs. Psychodrama

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week Billy chats with his partner, Dee Darkholme, about their shared love of cannibalism kink.
 

Cannibalism Is Romantic | Obsession & Limerence | Butchering & Preparing | Silence of the Lambs | Primal Mauling | Vore & Tinies | Media | Cannibalism: A Perfectly Natural History

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Friend of the show Mx. Nillin Lore has a new book out called How Do I Sexy?: A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers, so this week we spoke with them about trans sexuality, furries, body modifications, and more!
 

How Do I Sexy? | ‘Own Voices’ Trans Art | I Saw the TV Glow | Beacons of Permission | Trans Joy | HRT | Don’t Have to Hate It to Change It | Good vs. Bad Doctors | Body Mods | Disturb the Comfortable | Furryism | Video Games

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become...

This week, we discuss how we’d prepare for a first date, a threesome, a first sex/kink conference, and a new crush, in honor of National Preparedness Month.
 

Why Prepare? | Managing Anxiety | Neurodivergence | First Dates | Conversation Topics | Sex on the First Date | Condoms & Vibrators | Threesomes | First Con | Oncoming NRE

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Can people-pleasers be into service kink? This week, we’re discussing our evolving relationships to providing and receiving service (sexual, domestic, and otherwise) within kink dynamics.
 

Trauma & the Past | Explicit Instructions & Praise | Defining Service | Intentionality | Anxiety & Neurodivergence | Misdirected Service | Turn-On vs. Love Language | Purpose & Meaning | Intimacy & Being Seen | Caretaking & Attachment | Receiving Service | Self-Service | Achievement | Cleaning | Praise Without Service

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on...