Unspoken Emotions

In this deeply moving episode Rachel sits down with Lisa Hipsley, the mother of 13-year-old Caelen Hipsley, who was tragically killed in February 2024 by a drunk and drug-fueled hit-and-run driver in Hirwaun, South Wales. Lisa shares an intimate portrait of Caelen a cheeky, determined, and loving boy who dreamed of becoming a neurosurgeon and candidly recounts the harrowing days following the crash, the offender's callous actions at the scene, and the profound trauma inflicted on her family.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Remembering Caelen: Beyond the news headlines, Caelen was a vibrant, ambitious 13-year-old with...

Coercive control doesn't bruise. It doesn't photograph. It doesn't trigger emergency calls or leave marks on the world that the world can see. It operates through erosion. So gradual that the person living inside it often does not recognise what is happening until they have lost themselves entirely.

 Christine Dillard lived inside that erosion for seventeen years. She was a Fortune 500 director. A single mother of two. The woman everyone at work knew as strong, capable and unshakeable.

 Behind closed doors she was bracing every time she heard the garage door. She had forgotten her fa...

Celeste Warren spent nearly four decades in corporate global companies rising to Vice President and Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer at a Fortune 100 company. She was the woman who walked into the most difficult rooms. The one who held space for conversations nobody else wanted to have. Who helped other people process their discomfort, navigate change and find common ground.

From the outside she was the woman who had all the answers.

What most people did not see was that she went home to an empty apartment, rocked in bed with he...

Adam McCormick has spent twenty-five years teaching other people to recognise the unfinished business of their childhoods. The patterns formed before we have words for them. The adaptations we built to survive. The emotions we buried so deeply they became normal.

He did all of that while living his own unfinished business. For decades. Without fully seeing it.

Adam grew up as what he calls his father's mini social worker. In a home shaped by alcoholism, he learned early that his job was to read his father's emotions, tend to his needs and disconnect entirely...

Jo Kelly was going through cancer treatment. Alone in many of the ways that matter most. A single mum. One child with complex medical needs requiring regular hospital visits. She had just been through a separation. The word cancer was so heavy she would not use it. She called it booby chat.

And then one morning, getting ready for radiation, she caught a glimpse of herself dancing naked in the mirror, half her hair gone, and she thought, this is interesting.

She danced to the hospital. She danced in the hallways. Sh...

Content note: this episode contains first-hand accounts of childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse, and references to suicidal ideation.

Cari Rickabough grew up in a family that looked perfect from the outside. She was taught the roles to play in public. Behind closed doors, it was a completely different story.

Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse began before she had words for any of it. She forced herself to forget the earliest years, and would not remember them until she was in her forties. What she did carry consciously were thirty years of trauma t...

You would never let your car run out of fuel and expect it to keep going. You would never skip the service for three years and then wonder why the engine is making that noise.

And yet most of us do exactly that to ourselves. We run on empty. We ignore the warning lights. We keep going until we are snapping at the people we love, crying in the supermarket over nothing and wondering when we became this person.

In this solo episode, Rachel talks about why high-functioning women...

Content Warning

This episode contains first-hand accounts of childhood physical and sexual abuse, family estrangement and difficult periods of mental health.

If any of these topics may affect you, please take care of yourself while listening.

You can pause, skip or come back to this when you feel ready.

You are not alone.

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Holly Fowles-Pazdro grew up not feeling safe, not feeling seen and not feeling allowed to say so. She spent her teens escaping into...

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Rachel went quiet for a few weeks. Not because she ran out of things to say. But because life got heavy.

In this solo episode, Rachel speaks honestly about what it is like to be the one who manages when something hard happens. The one who makes the tea and holds it together and cries in the car on the way to school drop-off and then pulls themselves together and carries on.

About the guilt of stepping back from the things you love. About the permission to slow down without calling...

Content note: this episode contains references to childhood emotional violence, alcoholism in the family, addiction, grief, and the loss of a sibling.

Alexandra Alden has done a lot. She founded a 500-person community. Consulted with the World Food Programme. Produced events across multiple countries. Travelled, built, created.

And described herself as half disappearing through all of it.

Always moving right before anything got real. Right before anyone could get close enough to truly see her. Not out of restlessness but out of something much quieter and much harder to name. A f...

Elizabeth Kipp grew up thinking she had missed the instructions. The handbook for how to be a person that everyone else seemed to have. She was educated, capable and high-functioning on the outside. Overwhelmed almost constantly on the inside. And quietly convinced that something must be wrong with her.

In this conversation Elizabeth traces the arc from a childhood of walking on eggshells, through four decades of chronic pain, addiction, two spinal fusions and a medical system that told her she would never be free from it, to the moment she decided to believe the d...

Hannah Dalby was a professional Muay Thai fighter. She got sober. She built a business. From the outside that all looked impressive.

But that's not the story.

The real story is that she spent fifteen years being brilliant at everything she tried. Fighting. Training. Achieving. Building. Getting sober. And not once in any of it did she stop long enough to find out who she actually was underneath all of it.

In this conversation Hannah traces the full arc from the little girl selling bracelets door to doo...

Tina Yarger was 18 years old when she lost her father. Before that grief had anywhere to settle, she lost a childhood friend. And then she lost her mother too.

She was the oldest. Everyone needed her to be okay. So she held it together, functioned, achieved, built a life. And for ten years, the grief went underground and stayed there.

It didn't surface in a therapy room or a quiet moment of reflection. It surfaced in a training room during her clinical counselling internship, in a question about her mother that she expected to answer...

Kate King grew up hearing stories about her estranged uncle. Stories are told only one way. That never quite felt like the whole truth.

Years later, she realised she had become him. The same pattern. The same distortions. The same impossible position in the family system. The second generation.

In this conversation, Kate traces the full arc of a three-decade journey through a toxic family system. The confusion of being gaslit from the inside. The years of trying before the final thread snapped. The aftermath of assembling a legal team to protect...

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Jacie Targett grew up in a body that was already carrying what her mind was not yet ready to know.

Autoimmune symptoms from the age of eighteen months. A childhood spent wearing a mask of confidence, intelligence and perfection so thick that by her teens she could not take it off. Years of alcohol addiction...

FREE GIVEAWAY

Free guide - 3 Steps to Releasing What’s Holding You Back 

https://unspokenemotions.co.uk/free-guide

Find The Newsletter Below:

https://unspokenemotions.co.uk/newsletter

One year ago today, Rachel pressed publish on the first episode of Unspoken Emotions. In this solo anniversary episode, she shares for the first time the real story of why she built this podcast, what happened the night before episode one went live, and what a year of honest conversations has taught her about the emotions we carry in silence. She also sha...

In this emotionally charged episode, Rachel sits down with Jon Bui to explore the profound and enduring costs of rebuilding a life after a criminal conviction. Jon candidly shares his journey from an unmotivated teenager battling ego and insecurity to a convicted felon after a reckless shoplifting attempt went disastrously wrong. Jon discusses the crushing reality of losing his time and the trust of his family, and his subsequent fight to prove his worth by graduating from law school. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Comfort can breed complacency: John reflects on how his comfortable, structured upbringing, combined with h...

In this powerful episode. Rachel sits down with Annie Emprima, a US Army veteran, PTSD survivor, and author of Trauma Whispers Before It Roars. Annie shares her profound journey from adopting a rescuer persona in her childhood to facing immense toxicity and betrayal during her military deployment in Iraq. Candidly unpacking the terrifying reality of being shot at while aboard a C-130 cargo plane, Annie reveals that the enemy fire was ironically the least of her worries compared to the lack of support and entitlement she witnessed from her own leadership. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Is there a face behind what you are building?

Not a goal. Not a vision. A face.

Someone from your past who said something. Who decided something about you. Who wrote you off or doubted you or made you feel like you had something to prove.

And you have been quietly, relentlessly - proving them wrong ever since.

 In this solo episode Rachel shares something she has never spoken about on this podcast before. The particular exhaustion of driving yourself for years - through study, through qualification, through achievement after achievement...

In this deeply moving episode, Rachel sits down with Christine a Fortune 500 director, single mother, and author of the memoir The Truth She Showed Me. Christine bravely unpacks her 17-year marriage, a relationship defined not by physical violence, but by the insidious, invisible wounds of coercive control.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

Abuse Isn't Always Physical: Coercive control operates through the slow, subtle erosion of a person's identity and autonomy. It is often maintained through micro-moments and subtle manipulations rather than explosive, visible events.

The Body Keeps the Score: Psychological and emotional abuse can manifest in s...

We have been told a story about forgiveness.

That is the only path to healing. That until you forgive, you are stuck. Holding on to the hurt is only hurting you. The most powerful thing you can do is let it go.

But what if that story isn't true for every wound?

What if, for some hurts caused by some people, repeated over the years, never acknowledged, forgiveness is not what is needed?

What if there is another way through?

In this episode, Rachel shares something personal and honest...

At 26, Natasha Costales was leading an English department, inspiring students, and building a career that looked, from the outside, like everything she had ever wanted.

Behind it, she was working 12 to 13-hour days, barely sleeping, experiencing panic attacks so severe that colleagues had to physically remove her from her car. She was binge eating to cope, battling sleep paralysis, and in the depths of a depression she hadn't seen coming.

She was the strong one. The ambitious one. The one who kept going. Until one day, she couldn't.

Her turning point came in 2016...

Recently, I had a completely unexpected encounter. I was meeting someone for work — an ordinary, professional conversation. And then, completely out of nowhere, it turned out he knew my story. Not just knew of me - knew the details. Because he had been connected to the man who abused my son.

And in that moment, something happened that I genuinely did not expect.

The feelings came back.

The anger. The guilt. The grief. All of it - suddenly as raw and immediate as it had ever been. Even though years have passed. Even th...

In this deeply moving episode, Rachel sits down with Matthew Mizerek, an author, artist, and entrepreneur who survived two strokes at the age of just 33. Matthew opens up candidly about the profound emotional, physical, and psychological aftermath of facing mortality so early in life. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The Illusion of Societal Expectations: Near-death experiences often reveal that the pressures we feel to follow a specific life path are largely self-imposed and dictated by societal norms rather than our true desires.

Embracing Authenticity Over Comfort: Healing requires honestly looking inward, stripping away the roles we p...

In this episode, Rachel sits down with Jenny Briggs, whose daughter Sarah was diagnosed with a rare genetic anomaly and autism. Jenny opens up about the raw, unspoken reality of realizing your child's future will look vastly different from what you imagined. We discuss the heavy burden of parent guilt, the necessity of grieving the expected child, and the profound shift from trying to fix a child to simply joining them in their world.  

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

Your grief is valid: It is completely okay to love your child fiercely while simultaneously grieving the version of mot...

In this poignant episode, Rachel explores the deeply personal story of Lisa Alexander, whose father, a large-scale drug trafficker known as Whitey, disappeared for 30 years. Lisa grew up believing her father was dead, only to discover decades later that he was alive and had been living under an assumed identity. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The Impact of Ambiguous Loss: Growing up with a missing parent creates a profound sense of uncertainty that can be more challenging to navigate than a clear death.

Identity and Resilience: Lisa’s story highlights how a traumatic childhood can shape one...

In this deeply emotional episode, Rachel sits down with Susan Bloom, a woman who spent over five years as the unwavering caregiver for her husband as he battled a rare autoimmune disease and subsequent blood cancer. Susan eventually found her path to healing and helping others through Equine Gestalt therapy.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The invisible toll of caregiving is staggering: Over the course of her husband's illness, Susan drove more than 57,000 miles to take him to various specialists and hospitals across multiple states.

Being "the strong one" often means suppressing your own reality: Living...

In this moving episode, Rachel speaks with Gareth Riddy, whose life has been a series of profound transformations. Gareth opens up about a childhood marked by illness and a deep-seated sense of powerlessness, which eventually led him down a path of addiction as a means of escape. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Childhood experiences shape our emotional landscape: Gareth’s early struggles with asthma and frequent hospitalizations fostered a sense of helplessness and shame that influenced his later coping mechanisms.

Physical empowerment can spark emotional change: Finding control over his body through fitness was...

In this moving episode, Rachel sits down with Claire Adamou to discuss a form of grief that often goes unnoticed: identity erosion. Claire candidly shares her experience of losing herself within a high-control marriage where her confidence, ambition, and even her parenting were systematically critiqued.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The "Functioning" Grief: Grief doesn't always look like crying; sometimes it looks like being "reasonable," coping, and functioning while you are internally dying.

The Weight of Coercive Control: Emotional abuse and control can slowly diminish a person’s intuition and self-trust, making them a...

In this heartfelt episode, Rachel welcomes Sarah Co, who shares her deeply personal journey of grief following the loss of her daughter, Jasmine, shortly after birth. Sarah opens up about the complexities of navigating life after such a profound loss, discussing the challenges of balancing her grief with her responsibilities as a mother to her living son. Sarah reflects on the importance of community support, the therapeutic power of writing, and the ways she honors Jasmine's memory, including celebrating her birthday and incorporating her into family life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The Complexity of...

In this episode, Rachel sits down with author and motivational speaker Craig Satkovsky to explore a life defined by radical survival and profound rebuilding. Craig opens up about the emotional battles often hidden beneath a person's visible strength, from surviving childhood molestation and teenage drug addiction to facing a series of life-threatening cancer diagnoses in his adult years.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The Power of "Dark Work": True healing requires looking directly at past traumas - what Craig calls "dark work" to remove the emotional attachment from the story rather than just trying to...

In this episode, Rachel delves into the complexities of silence and its impact on mental health, particularly in the context of Time to Talk Day. Rachel explores why many individuals resort to silence as a survival strategy, highlighting that it often stems from past experiences where speaking up felt dangerous or led to dismissal. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Silence as a Protection Mechanism: Silence is not a personality trait but a survival strategy learned when speaking felt dangerous. 

Impact of Unspoken Emotions: Unexpressed feelings do not disappear; they manifest physically and emotionally, le...

In this deeply moving episode, Rachel sits down with Jess Marie, host of the Unapologetically Overcoming podcast, to explore the complex and often disenfranchised journey of sibling loss. Following the sudden death of her younger sister, Hillary, Jess found her world and her identity completely reshaped. Jess shares the raw reality of moving from being the "positive advice-giver" to a person navigating intense anger, shame, and a total loss of self.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Grief Reshapes Identity: Losing a sibling often means losing a primary witness to your life and a key part of your own...

In this poignant episode, Rachel explores the heavy reality of Divorce Day in the UK, the first working day of January. While the date is often associated with legal filings, Rachel dives deeper into the emotional exhaustion and silent withdrawals that happen long before any paperwork is signed. Rachel discusses the unique pressure of the holiday season, the Christmas pretending that eventually gives way to a quiet realization that something is fundamentally broken. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Divorce Day's Seasonal Significance: Falling on the first working day of January, this day marks the moment many people stop "p...

In this illuminating episode, Rachel sits down with Charlotte Haggie, a resilience specialist for high-achieving working mothers. Charlotte shares her personal journey from a "frenetic" corporate life to a more grounded, authentic existence, illustrating that the "perform-to-belong" rules many high-achievers live by are not only exhausting but can be safely dismantled. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

The "Perform to Belong" Trap: Many high-achievers live by unwritten rules where their sense of belonging is tied directly to their performance and success.

The Power of Curiosity: Transformation starts with being curious about your own internal landscape and questioning wh...

In this episode, Rachel engages in a heartfelt conversation with Valerie Rubin, an attachment specialist with an anxious style and a trauma-informed somatic coach. Valerie shares her personal journey of navigating anxious attachment, chronic pain, and the complexities of relationships with emotionally unavailable partners.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Anxious Attachment is Common: Approximately 50% of people in the United States struggle with anxious attachment, yet many feel isolated in their experiences.

Healing is a Journey: Healing from anxious attachment is not a linear process and does not mean being completely "healed." It involves...

In this episode, Rachel engages in a heartfelt conversation with therapist and coach Blair Pfeiffer, who shares her deeply personal journey of navigating childhood differences, a violent relationship, and the complexities of unexpected motherhood through open adoption. Blair reflects on her late diagnosis of ADHD in her late 30s, coinciding with the onset of perimenopause, which brought clarity to her past struggles and experiences. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Validation Through Diagnosis: Receiving a late diagnosis of ADHD in her late 30s provided a sense of validation and clarity, helping to explain lifelong struggles and experiences that had p...

In this heartfelt episode, Rachel reflects on the transformative lesson she learned in 2025 about self-abandonment and the importance of prioritizing oneself. As she prepares for the new year, Rachel shares personal stories and insights from her life and those of her clients, illustrating how women often neglect their own needs while caring for others. Through poignant anecdotes, she emphasizes that self-respect, self-love, and setting boundaries are essential for emotional well-being. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Self-Abandonment vs. Self-Care: The episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing self-abandonment, which often masquerades as generosity or duty.

Personal Stories as L...

In this episode, Rachel is joined by renowned somatic psychotherapist and author Tracy Whitton to explore the profound journey of nervous system healing. Tracy shares her deeply personal story of "falling apart" on the inside while maintaining a high-functioning exterior, a state many women find themselves in today. After facing consecutive life-threatening illnesses with her children and the onset of perimenopause, Tracy reached a breaking point that forced her to apply her own somatic expertise to her recovery. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Survival Mode is Exhausting but Protective: Tracy describes living in a "fawn" and "flight" response w...

WARNING: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS EXPLICIT GRAPHICAL CONTENT 

In this poignant episode, Rachel engages in a deeply moving conversation with Samantha Dale, the best friend and sister figure of Suzanne Capper, a 16-year-old girl who was brutally tortured and murdered in December 1992. Samantha shares cherished memories of Suzanne, highlighting her vibrant spirit and infectious laughter, before delving into the harrowing details of the events leading up to Suzanne's death.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Graphic Content Warning: The podcast episode discusses the horrific torture and murder of 16-year-old Suzanne Capper, with graphic descriptions that may be distressing f...