In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

AI is being turned to as a replacement for therapy. As a sex therapist who specialises in low libido, I wanted to know - can it actually help with something as nuanced as low sex drive in a marriage?

So I put it to the test. I pretended to be a typical client of mine - a woman in a long-term relationship, struggling with low desire and shame around her turn-ons - and turned to both a trained mental health bot and ChatGPT to see what they got right, what they got wrong, and...

We've all heard it before: "Men always want sex". They’re simple and always raring to go.

As a sex therapist specialising in low libido and mismatched desire, I know the toll these kinds of myths can take on the individual and the relationship at large.

In this minisode, I break down one of the most common myths about male sexuality — and how it contributes to low desire, performance pressure, and shame.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online prog...

Low desire in women is often treated as a hormonal problem or a relationship one.

But what if the problem isn’t low libido persay, but rather a lost connection to your body?

In this episode, I talk to psychologist and leading sex researcher Dr. Lori Brotto about the science of mindfulness and why it’s become one of the most effective psychological treatments for low desire and arousal in women.

We discuss how mindfulness improves sexual wellbeing, why physical arousal and mental desire don’...

Sometimes low libido doesn’t look like avoiding sex. Sometimes it looks like having sex you didn’t really want in the first place.

In this episode, I talk about something that’s far more common than most of us realise: saying yes to sex in a committed relationship even when you’re not really in the mood.

It's about the kinds of moments where you agree because it feels easier than arguing, because you don’t want to disappoint your partner, or because you hope you’ll “get into it” once...

For many neurodivergent people, sex becomes draining or disconnected over time, even when there’s desire and care underneath it all.

Sex can start to feel like something you’re being evaluated on — rather than something you get to enjoy.

In this episode, I talk with licensed counsellor Bowen Marshall about how ADHD, Autism, masking, and performance expectations affect our sex lives — and why so many people end up feeling like they need to "get sex right", instead of actually feeling pleasure.

We specifically talk abo...

“We used to have such great sex" is one of the most common things I hear from clients as a sex therapist and coach.

Along with this confession usually comes grief, shame, and worry that something important to them is lost forever.

In this episode, I explore the science of sexual nostalgia: why remembering past sexual connection can sometimes help rekindle desire — and why, in other cases, it can actually make things worse.

I also include a free exercise toward the end to help you...

If you want sex to feel good again and not have to think about whether you're hard or softening, or whether you're going to have an orgasm soon — this episode gives you clear, usable tools to start moving in that direction.

In part two of this series on sexual performance anxiety, I talk with health psychologist and clinical sexologist Dr Evie Kirana about how to deal with sexual performance anxiety. We break down the real mind–body connection (no woo here - just pure physiology!), why you can’t force your erection or orgasm to coo...

If you’ve ever felt your body shut down the moment sex begins (your arousal just disappears, or you become consumed with worries about your performance), this episode will help you understand why.

In part one of this series, I talk with researcher Dr David Rowland about what sexual performance anxiety actually is, how it develops, and what’s happening in your brain and body when anxiety takes over. We unpack why pills can help penises but not people, why avoidance keeps the cycle alive, and how cultural expectations fuel shame.

A quick fix for low libido in women - sounds like a dream, right? Even for me as a sex therapist!

In this episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Glen Spielmans about bremelanotide — a medication approved in the US for low sexual desire in women. On paper, it’s designed to target brain receptors linked to desire. But when you look closely at the trials, the story gets a lot more complicated.

We get into:

If the idea of planning sex makes you panic, this episode is for you.

And if you’re curious whether planning could help your sex life and relationship thrive - it’s for you too.

We often hear that spontaneous sex is the “real” kind of sex — and that if you have to plan it, something must be wrong in your relationship. But is that actually true?

In this episode, I unpack a new study on spontaneous vs planned sex and talk about how it plays o...

Up to 40% of men experience low desire. But it's rarely talked about—in society or relationships.

In this episode, I talk with researcher Grace Wang about what really happens when a male partner is dealing with low sexual desire—and how the way we manage (or suppress) difficult emotions can make or break sexual communication in a relationship.

We unpack her study on emotion regulation and low sexual desire in men, including why “just regulating your emotions” is a lot harder than it sounds on social media, how societal norms ma...

This episode is a bit of a departure from the regular stuff! A personal update and a few important reminders about sex, desire, and overall well-being.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

How can you tell if a new partner shares your turn-ons — without making it awkward?

In this episode, I answer a listener question about casual sex, power dynamics, and the kind of miscommunication that can happen when you don’t talk about your turn-ons out loud. We unpack a qualitative study on how people in BDSM communities use tech (like texting) to express desires, set boundaries, and build trust — especially when things are new or casual.

You’ll learn:

Sharing what turns you on with a partner can be scary. But it can also be hot, and emotionally rewarding.

This episode dives into one of the most common but rarely spoken fears in long-term relationships: what will happen if I share what I fantasize about? We unpack a fascinating new study on why people do (and don’t) share their sexual fantasies with partners — and the surprising gap between what people fear will happen, and what actually does.

We'll cover:

Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?

In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity negatively affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.

We unpack her study on desire, domestic labour, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.

You’ll l...

Is it normal for desire to fade in long-term relationships? Or can passion actually last?

This episode breaks down a powerful study of over 38,000 people in long-term relationships to uncover what really keeps sex satisfying over time. Spoiler: it’s not just about frequency or trying something new — it’s about how couples connect.

We explore the 7 key habits that set passionate couples apart — and the biggest mistake many people make.

You’ll learn:

Do you ever hesitate to initiate sex because you're afraid of being rejected — or feel guilty for turning your partner down?

In this episode, I answer a listener question about how to navigate mismatched libidos and the pain of repeated rejection in a relationship. We unpack the science of sexual rejection, and how it can shape desire, emotional safety, and long-term connection — often in ways couples don’t talk about.

You’ll learn:

→ The most common emotional reactions to sexual rejection — and why some responses shut down intimacy whi...

A lot of us feel the pressure to perform well in bed — whether that means lasting long or wanting sex "enough".

In this episode, I talk to researcher Noémie Viens about how perfectionism can mess with your sex life. We explore why being hard on yourself (or feeling pressure from others) can lead to performance anxiety, shame, and disconnection — and how letting go of “perfect sex” can actually make it better.

You’ll learn:

→ The three types of perfectionism — and which one is most linked to sexual distress...

If you’ve ever thought, “If we were really right for each other, our sex life would just work”… this episode is for you.

In Episode 1 of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast, I break down a fascinating study on growth vs. destiny beliefs in relationships — and how the way we think about sex shapes everything from satisfaction to resilience.

You’ll learn:

→ Why expecting sex to be effortless can damage connection

→ How believing sex takes effort is linked to greater support, responsiveness, and satisfaction — e...

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link