Dateable()AF
The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell.Please check out our website https://www.dateableaf.com/Dateable AF is a relationship podcast that goes deeper than dating advice. Hosted by a therapist and a researcher, the show breaks down the emotional patterns behind connection, conflict, identity, and growth. We skip platitudes and focus on what actually helps people relate more honestly, securely, and sustainably.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of all kinds of relationships—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, re...
I Said I’m Fine. Why Didn’t You Know I Wasn’t?
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S4E1: When Shit Gets Real, Who Actually Shows Up?
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, "When Shit Gets Real. Who Actually Shows Up?"
There’s nothing quite like a crisis to give you a very clear view of your relationships.
Sarah and Rachel now have something oddly specific in common: they’ve both had medical emergencies that ended in emergency surgery and forced two very independent people to suddenly depend on everyone around them.
And they...
S3E14: “Someday You’ll Be Amazing”: The Trap of Falling in Love With Someone’s Potential
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S3E13: “Insight Isn’t Self-Attack”: When Self-Awareness Turns Into Self-Criticism
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Self-awareness is supposed to help you grow. But for a lot of thoughtful, high-functioning people, it quietly turns into something else… constant self-criticism.
If you’ve ever replayed conversations, analyzed your tone, or found yourself thinking “What’s wrong with me?” instead of “That’s interesting about me,” you’re not alone.
In this episode of the Dateable AF Podcast, we unpack the difference between healthy self-awareness and...
S3E12: “Awkward Won’t Kill You” Learning to Tolerate Discomfort
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S3E11: “Great Chat… About You”: When People Don’t Ask Questions
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S3E10: Trust Comes Back When Behavior Changes
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S3E9: Owning It vs. Explaining It: What Accountability Looks Like in Real Life
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
S3E9: Owning It vs. Explaining It: What Accountability Looks Like in Real Life
Have you ever tried to talk to someone about something that hurt you, only to walk away from the conversation feeling like nothing actually changed?
Maybe they explained their intentions. Maybe they shared their stress, their reasoning, or what they meant by what they said.
And by the end of...
S3E8 “Nothing’s Wrong… So Why Am I Unhappy?”: When Safety Becomes Stagnation
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Sometimes the hardest relationship problem to name is the one where nothing is technically wrong. There’s no betrayal, no explosive conflict, no obvious crisis. On the surface, everything looks stable. The relationship is calm, predictable, and relatively easy to maintain. And yet something feels off.
In this episode of the Dateable AF Podcast, we explore the quiet paradox that many couples experience: a relationship that feels safe bu...
S3E7: “It’s Easier If I Just Do It”: Why You’re Always the One Who Adjusts
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S3E6: Why Your Relationship Changed When You Did: When growth creates distance between partners
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.
This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Som...
S3E5: Fear of Being Seen vs. Fear of Being Left: Why You Abandon Yourself Before Anyone Else Can
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
S3E5: Fear of Being Seen vs. Fear of Being Left: Why You Abandon Yourself Before Anyone Else Can
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cyc...
S3E4: You’re Not Bad at Communication. You’re Tolerating Too Much: When Talking Doesn’t Fix the Problem
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
S3E4: You’re Not Bad at Communication. You’re Tolerating Too Much: When Talking Doesn’t Fix the Problem
Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”
In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle...
S3E3: Shame and defensiveness in relationships: Why You Feel Accused When No One Is Accusing You
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Have you ever had a partner say, “Hey, can we talk about last night?” and immediately felt like you were in trouble?
Even when no one is blaming you, your body reacts like you are being attacked. Your heart races. You get defensive. You start explaining, justifying, or shutting down. Suddenly, a simple conversation turns into a fight.
In this episode of Dateable AF, we explore why that happ...
S3E2: “Are You Regulated or Just Really Good at Not Feeling?”
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
A lot of people think emotional regulation means staying calm. But calm isn’t the same as connected. In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood concepts in modern relationship culture: emotional regulation — and how easily it gets confused with emotional suppression. Because you can look “together,” be low-drama, and even feel composed… while being completely disconnected from what you actually feel. And that disconnection shows up everywhere — in dating, in partnersh...
S3E1: Come Closer… Not Like That - Why Intimacy Feels Riskier Than Loneliness
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Why Intimacy Feels Riskier Than Loneliness** This season marks a shift. Dateable AF started as a dating podcast — but what we kept circling back to was how people relate. Dating is just one place where relationship patterns show up. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, a parent, or a coworker… the same emotional dynamics keep repeating.
So yes, the podcast is still called Dateable AF. No, we’re not changing...
Mistletoe & Minefields: Navigating the Holidays with Your Partner
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Dateable AF Show Notes:
Meet Rachel Howell and Dr. Sarah Kyle
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the...
S2E16: Control Issues in Cute Outfits: Why we try to manage our emotions by managing our partner’s behavior (and how to stop).
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Meet Rachel Howell and Dr. Sarah Kyle
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the...
S2E15: Fight Right: How to Argue Without Burning the House Down
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah discussing Kissing
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wond...
S2E14: “Gaydar 2.0: How We Actually Know Who’s Queer These Days”
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah discussing Who is Queer?
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the...
Revisit- Lesbian Dating on the Apps: Where Hope and Sanity go to Die!
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah are traveling. Here is a revisit of a great show they had in Season 1- Lesbian Dating on the Apps: Where hope and Sanity go to die!
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with...
Dateable AF- Revisit Avoiding the Situationship Spiral
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah discussing Situationships
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wond...
S2E13: The Plus-One Problem: When your partner hates your friends—or your friends hate your partner—and what to do about it
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah discussing Kissing
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wond...
AFterparty for S2E12: Sealed with a Mess: Why Kissing Can Be Magic… or a Total Red Flag
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah discussing Kissing
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wond...
S2E12: “Sealed with a Mess: Why Kissing Can Be Magic… or a Total Red Flag”
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah discussing Kissing
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wond...
AFterparty for S2E10 and S2E11: Boundaries and Open Relationships
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Rachel and Sarah have another after party answering listeners questions.
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show...
S2E11: Open For Business: A Discussion of Ethical Non-Monogamy
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes: E2:E11
Rachel and Sarah discuss Ethical Non-Monogamy (1)
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into...
Adjacent to New Shody Media Podcast Cord of Connection Host- Danielle Cobb
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
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Ladies of Left Field- with Hot Girl Headlines - Recap of Texas/ou Weekend
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Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
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Kim & Friends meet Julia Haeffele "I Excercise, I am not Exercise"
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Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
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The Conspiracy Farm: What did Confucius actually say? "You Lack Rituals!"
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Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
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Mom's Favorite with Cassidy and Kim- Tales from a Former L&D Nurse: Part 2- The Pitt
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Cozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Pammy Out Loud- How not to become your parents with Cass Grange
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Cozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Shody Media Saturday Showcase
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Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
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S2:E 10 "That's not a boundary babe" (That's emotional micromanagement. Let's fix it.)
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes: E2:E10
Rachel and Sarah discuss emotional micromanagement.
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into...
Introducing Shody Media's Newest Podcast - Cord of Connection with Danielle Cobb
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Check out Shody Media's Newest Podcast Cord of Connection with Danielle Cobb!
You can find Danielle Cobb on all of the Socials!
S2E10: “That’s Not A Boundary, Babe” (It’s emotional micromanagement. Let’s fix it.)
Dateable AF Show Notes: E2:E10
Rachel and Sarah deep dive emotional micromanagement!
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relata...
AFterparty for S2E9: El Camino Energy: Is It a Car or a Truck? (Being Bisexual in a Binary World) (1)
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Dateable AF Show Notes:
Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe
Theme Song: Cade Kyle
Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat
Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.
Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating wome...
Adjacent meet Mile High Club Member Suzann Grabe
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Cozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Ladies of Left Field- Hot Girl Headlines
Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Please check out all of our shows on
shodymedia.com
https://www.youtube.com/@shodymedia
Use Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:
Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Cozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
