Seniors in the Building

What things do we keep, why do we keep them and how do we know when it’s time to let them go? That is the question we asked ourselves today. We have gathered and acquired things over a lifetime and now, as we transition from work to retirement and start downsizing, to make it easier for our children when we’re gone, we must figure out what to do with all this stuff. When are we going to get at all those boxes of photos that we have already moved several times? What about the things that belonged to o...

We are socialized to be competitive from an early age and given messages about being the smartest, most athletic, or best looking. Conversely, we are told that we are not smart enough to go to university, or athletic enough to make the team or that we are average looking. Were we competitive at a younger age to prove something? Are we still competitive? Can being competitive motivate us? Perhaps seniors are competitive in a different way than when we were young. It is hard to let go of the competitiveness that we once had, especially if we have health...

In earlier years we had bucket lists, things we put on a list and checked off as we accomplished them. In our 70’s we find our lists have become wishes or desires and each thing on it must be examined as to whether it is still possible. We now live under the shadow of health and financial circumstances that may be limiting, family realities and the shortening horizon of time. But that does not limit our wishes, desires or longings, we still have them and having them brings hope. Living by the ocean, becoming a personal trainer, reconciliation with a...

In our last podcast on what surprises us we discovered that we experience more fear than we had expected. So how do we thrive and live as full a life as possible in the face of things that make us fearful? What does feeling secure look like? Our discussion identified physical, financial and social components among others, that can create areas of uncertainty. We identified that knowing what our resources are and having a security plan that we can rely on as our needs change are both important. Some of our insecurities have come with us from childhood and...

Surprise! We are now in our 70’s and calling ourselves seniors. What are the surprises? What isn’t a surprise? While exploring these questions we discover that we are most surprised about how busy we are with less time than anticipated to pursue our own interests. We are also surprised that out of all the places we have once lived, we find ourselves in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. We are surprised by grandchildren. We are surprised by the nature of the health problems we have but not surprised that we have them. We are surprised by the increase in anxiety and...

Music can do many things; evoke memories, make us feel younger, connect us to others and help us express grief or joy. As we talk, we discover that music also connects us to our culture, to our parents and to our own story of a life lived. It can give us a shared experience with our children and grandchildren and serve as a vehicle to express political unrest. Music has always been there in the background and as we move through our senior years, we seek out the music that gives us what we need at this time in...

Is it a minefield or a walk in the park? Today we talk about navigating life’s ups and downs in the context of a long-term relationship. Starting with the dynamics that occur in the car as one person drives and the other is a passenger, we acknowledge the communication patterns that can linger as we navigate new challenges and continue to wrestle with old ones. What are we really saying when asking if the other wants to drive? How does knowing someone so well help or hinder working through problems and making decisions? What underlies the tension that ca...

“I believe that everyone’s grief is very unique & personal. But as seniors, we may mourn differently because our life experiences have taught us a variety of coping skills that are transferable now to help us mourn our losses.” That is from today’s guest Colette Howery, answering the question, “Do seniors grieve differently?” Colette is a retired registered nurse and companion to those who grieve. She has recently written a book called Running with the Angels: A bereaved mother’s journey from hopelessness to hope” and talks to us about that journey in today’s podcast. We learn about layered or p...

What are the brave things that we do every day? We often think of bravery as huge acts of courage in times of war or national disasters instead of something we use every day. Gloria Steinem referred to bravery as outrageous acts and everyday rebellions in her book of the same name. Every time we set a boundary with someone or speak out about something we are acting bravely. When we continue to live with dignity, tenderness, curiosity and hope we are acting bravely. When courage fails, we bravely find it again. As we talk about what it might...

We are retired and have done a lot among the four of us to contribute to the world. Do we still owe something? We have contributed to our community, to our professions, to the economy and we have prioritized our families, continuing to contribute to the lives of our children and grandchildren. We really don’t owe anything to the world, but we are still called to continue to fight for the big things we have been passionate about like equality and healing the environment. We do owe some things to ourselves and in our conversation, we discover our de...

What is it like navigating the health care system as we get older? Our Canadian system is different than other countries, but some aspects of caring for seniors is the same. There are typically more health issues to manage, so care can be complex. We see our doctors more, we are referred to specialists more, we get more tests and we may show up in emergency more often. Who is looking at our care wholistically? This typically rests with the family doctor, but our doctor may have a practice rule that you can only talk about one issue per...

Do we still have an inner critic in our 70’s? After three false starts we were finally able to have the conversation. It turns out that talking about our inner critic is painful and old messages surface. So yes, we do still have an inner critic in our 70’s, one that may be even harsher because we don’t have as many distractions to keep it at bay. The deeper task is to develop a more compassionate inner life and to care for ourselves with patience and kindness. We lean into the relationships that support us, and our passions, as wel...

Lines from a Blue Rodeo song, ‘Til I am Myself Again start off our conversation about letting go of control. There can be a lot of uncertainties in all areas of our life as we age and one of the biggest fears of aging is losing the ability to make decisions for ourselves. Do we have the option to choose what we let go of? Where do we have control? Where are we obsessive in keeping control?Being aware of any declines and making adaptations to keep ahead of them is part the process, hard as that may be. Wh...

Fifty Episodes of Seniors in the Building! We celebrate getting to 50 by talking about our journey and the process we use to make the podcast. We give you a sense of how we come up with topics as we brainstorm some ideas for future podcasts. We share what gets edited out and why, the dance around handling politics and religion and what it might be like to still be friends when we are in our 90s. Throughout it all, the importance of listening in the world, reaching out to connect and finding a community is paramount. We invite you...

“Glory Days” by Bruce Springstein is a song from our youth that laments getting old and telling stories of the past. But do we live in the past now that we are older more than we live in the present? Memory is fickle, which can lead to romanticizing the past. But looking back in history helps remind us of the reality, like women’s fight to gain the right to vote, to work after marriage, have a credit card, etc., an example of the past helping us to build our future. What lies in our past may influence how we vie...

Pride can take many forms, from a quiet sense of self-respect to something that looks like arrogance. As we’ve grown older and tamed some of the inner voices that warn us not to stand out or to think too highly of ourselves, we discover just how much there is to feel good about. It turns out that we have many things we are proud of including purposeful careers, raising healthy children, staying true to our values, overcoming adversity and continuing to learn. Even starting our podcast, challenging as that was, is a source of confidence and satisfaction, especially as...

Betty White said, “Growing old isn’t for sissies”. Indeed, it is easy to focus on the things that we can no longer do, that we have lost, or on our physical ailments, but is there a flip side? Can growing older be fun? Can it have delightful moments? The answer is unequivocally yes. Whether it’s being social and laughing out loud with friends, enjoying our grandchildren, marvelling at the creativity of AI, feeling freer to express ourselves, finding courage to do new things, or discovering that being a senior is not as bad as anticipated, having fun and bein...

We have lived over 70 years and know something about mess. We also know something about joy and laughter. Yes, the world is a mess and as children of parents who lived through World War II, we were aware of that from an early age. Conflicts, tensions and the continual rise and fall of democracies and dictatorships have been a part of our upbringing. What are the safe landing places that steady us and give us hope? We talk about the patriarchal underpinnings of conflict and the drive for power and control that fuels it. The feminist movement is primary...

As an antidote to what is going on in the world, we have a conversation about our favourite things. What are those things that we like to do, eat, listen to or look at? Can they become not so favourite things over time? Reading has been one of those things we have been doing for a long time and continues to bring pleasure. Running used to be fun, but no longer and other aerobic activities have taken its place. Favourite music becomes unbearable in its patriarchal context. Favourite things can change as we discover new interests or physical limitations...

Should we be concerned about the amount of TV that seniors watch in retirement? Are there benefits to watching TV or other media formats? What might be the down sides? Is other media also implicated? Watching TV can be entertaining and educational and It can be a window to the world. On the other hand does it reflect boredom or contribute to loss of mobility and chronic disease from sitting too long. Perhaps TV can be done with discernment, and in moderation that prioritizes activity first.

What does love and romance look like when we are older? How does it change over time? What are the hurdles to overcome? The month of February brings Valentine’s Day and a highly romantic notion of love with it. As two older couples who have collectively been married for 96 years, we talk about how love has grown and changed over those years. Citing respect, companionship and a deep understanding of the other person, love becomes broader in perspective and more subtle in its demonstration. Finding ways to keep the balance in the face of health issues and adapting to...

Seniors in the Building returns for Season 3! After a short break we begin with an episode on time.

How do we understand time? How is time both fact and fiction? The universe unfolds in its own time while we humans create all kinds of constructs around time like a 24-hour clock, calendars and deadlines. When we retire, we move from those constructs into a more fluid, universal sense of time. We may struggle to find the balance between establishing enough structure to shape our days while maintaining the flexibility to be spontaneous and free of constraints. We...

Forgiveness is a lifelong journey. Our perspective on forgiveness changes over time and when carrying our woundedness takes up too much space in our lives, we look to let go of it. What does it take to be free of the anger and hurt that we have brought along with us? Is forgiveness different than letting go? Can you forgive without reconciliation? How do we heal broken relationships? It is not always possible to forgive and reconcile, which makes letting go more difficult. Looking for a wider perspective helps and we explore the words of Rolo May, a 20th...

In addition to the many areas of decision making that we have carried all our lives like meal planning and preparation, car maintenance, house maintenance and travel, we now must consider new areas that are unique to aging. Decisions related to medical conditions, downsizing, end-of-life planning, finances and family relationships intrude on what is supposed to be a less stressful time of our lives. Continually having to make choices can be exhausting for any life stage but can be particularly exhausting as an older person. Having someone to share the decisions with can be both a help and a...

A big part of the holiday season are the traditions that we keep as a family, as a culture and as a nation. What are those traditions and what do they mean to us? Shopping for meaningful gifts and making sure we find the right gift is a big part of the holiday season, not to mention when those gifts are opened. Traditional foods of the season, often cultural, are also important as are the family gatherings around food. Taking time to be together, whether it’s eating, skating, playing games or hanging out helps us take a break fr...

Reading is a big part of all our lives, and we have thoughts on that! In this episode we share what reading means to us; how it helped us find calm in large, chaotic families; legitimized being introverted; and was a means to pursue knowledge. We talk about our reading journeys and what books mean to us now. We debate e-books versus physical books and discover a place for both. We laugh with a children’s book and see evidence that we have passed our love of reading on to our children and grandchildren. Reading to grandchildren is the be...

Is our world more chaotic now? Are we living in unprecedented times? How are we impacted? More to the point, how will our children and grandchildren be impacted? What will they inherit? After a brilliant introduction, our conversation wandered somewhat from climate change to Artificial Intelligence (AI) to whether there were any historical precedents to what we are experiencing to getting overwhelmed by news and how to discern whether it’s true or not, back to AI and then positivism. We conclude we are living in turbulent times and that they are unsettling but continue to be present to ou...

What are the hard times that we have lived through? Is hardship also suffering? And what about wild times, does that equate with hard times? What are the hard times that have left a mark on us? What is that mark? How does it impact our tolerance or compassion? We take on these questions and have a compelling conversation about how our lived experiences have shaped us and what we learned from them. We are forever changed by events that affect us deeply and are always working through them on some level at different times in our lives. Retirement...

How would you characterize your childhood? When we jokingly refer to our childhoods as feral, we are really talking about the kind of childhood that had fewer rules, with parents that didn’t hover and where we learned how to trust our wits when the ground gave way. We share the funny stories, the daring stories and the stories that leave us shaking our heads. We share what we learned about fairness, justice and courage. How did our childhoods affect the way we parented our own children? What were the skills that we came away with that we still us...

Nancy Phillips joins us today on the podcast. A retired nurse, writer, and Spiritual Director, she developed and now leads “Growing in Wisdom” a 2-year program focused on the spirituality of aging. Nancy spent the first year of her early retirement dealing with illness and the death of loved ones at a time when she needed to rest. She tells her story of finding a way out of the weary space she was in and onto a whole new path of healing, growing and discovery, one she now offers to others. Nancy describes the four things that she has foun...

Ageism is not always obvious, and although it can happen to anyone at any age, it seems to particularly affect people at both ends of the age spectrum, older and younger. In our conversation we share times when we suspected ageism was involved like sitting in a queue for surgery or trying to find a job at age 62 and times where ageism was blatant. Often ageism is couched in a safety context, like when our children express concern for the activities we undertake, or when someone insists that we sit on public transit instead of stand. Ageism is built...

What are those moments in our lives that we found moving, profound or life changing, those moments of mystery? Although difficult to define and at times difficult to describe, we explore the topic with a sense of charting unknown waters. Mystery is the unknown and those moments of mystery that change us, affect the core of who we are as we grow older. Experiencing mystery as we walk the Camino Trail or see geese fly up above our heads while wilderness canoeing, move us and unite us with something greater than ourselves. In those moments we can experience a...

In the current political climate Canadian identity has been front and centre in this country. We have a lively conversation about some of the things that make us Canadian and what we love about Canada. Canada is multicultural, welcoming immigrants and their cultures as well as the knowledge that they contribute to the growth of Canadian culture. We are a peacekeeping nation and value that role in the world. We share our own stories of being/becoming Canadian. We speak to the matter that not all have felt welcome to be part of Canada. We also explored the tension...

A mantra that we hear a lot today is that everything is broken. How do we respond when we hear that Canada is broken, or the climate is broken, or the relationship is broken and the only way to fix it is to throw everything out and start over? The notion that despair generalizes, and hope particularizes can be applied as a fundamental truth to help us look beyond the ‘everything is broken’ mentality to what is true about a situation. Looking at all sides of an issue in all its complexity helps to break it down into smaller comp...

How important is hope in our lives? How do we maintain hope as we grow older? What supports hope day to day? Through our conversation, we grapple with what hope means to us in our daily lives. As we share our stories, it becomes evident that having a community is crucial to having hope. From immigrants hoping for a new life in freedom, to moving forward together after the death of parents, hope is nurtured in the presence of others and is stronger when shared with others. Caring for others is a hopeful act, listening, sharing food, or sitting...

What does it mean to be human in today’s world? Philosophy and Religious writings through the ages have addressed this, but we wanted to talk about it from our perspectives. And perspectives we had! Humans are complex beings and out of this comes the range of emotions, thoughts, beliefs and values. How do we maintain human rights for all and offer respect and dignity to even those we oppose. How do we teach the value of human emotions and grow empathy and compassion in the world? What happens when we have bullies controlling information? How do we stand up...

Making a podcast is fraught with all kinds of crazy things that can happen, like our false start for this one that we didn’t edit out. It also takes on a life of its own as we talk through our topic, moving in lots of directions. We do eventually cover the reasons why we started it in the first place, why we are still doing it, and how we hope to shape it in the future, acknowledging that conversations with friends and expanding horizons are at the core. Secondary to that is the notion that we might have so...

Active Living Week is coming up in our province which prompted this lively podcast about our relationships with exercise. We share our exercise stories, whether it has been part of our life or not and how we view it now. How does exercise affect our physical health and mental health? How do we make it a habit? Our conversation explores the benefits of exercise, the difficulty of keeping it up, how to get motivated and the new things we have learned lately about exercise i.e how to keep healthy bones and feet. We share the adaptations we have...

Rick and Elaine celebrated 50 years of marriage this year and honoured that, in part, by embarking on a month-long trip to Great Britain. Hear about their adventures tillering a long boat on the canals, visiting Wrexham in Wales, touring Scotland, glamping and even a trip to the A&E (emergency room). Throughout the discussion, we talk about the changes we have made in travelling as older adults now. Taking more time, locating hospitals, washrooms and other amenities, planning in greater detail and other strategies are discussed as the we share our travel adventures.

“Good aging” - Words of wisdom from Signe’s mother!

This was a fun episode to share with all of you. Ninety-two year old Joan (pronounced Joanne) has experienced much in her life and she is willing to share some of the wisdom she has gained in her own aging process. She speaks to what we face today in our political and social world, that we need to be grateful for having a life, for sharing life with others, and making the most of the life we have been given. Gratitude can help handle situations one might face a...