Raising Boys & Girls

Grief looks different at every age, and understanding a child’s developmental stage can help parents recognize what they need most. Sissy Goff and David Thomas explore how grief may appear in babies and toddlers, preschoolers, elementary-age children, middle schoolers, and teenagers—from regression and separation anxiety to withdrawal, risk-taking, and unexpected emotional reactions. They offer practical guidance for providing stability, addressing guilt, creating opportunities for side-by-side conversations, and surrounding kids with trusted support. Above all, they remind parents that children don’t need perfect words—they need adults who notice, remain close, and continually reassure them, “I see you, I’m h...

In this episode of Raising Boys and Girls, it features Sissy Goff and David Thomas in an in-person conversation with author and Duke professor Kate Bowler about her newest book, Joyful Anyway. Kate unpacks the difference between happiness (built from luck and circumstance) and joy (a surprising, embodied experience that can coexist with grief and hardship), drawing on her own journey through stage four cancer. She talks about letting go of the "professional happiness manager" role in parenting, how to be honest with kids about grief without burdening them, and how relinquishing control can open people up to deeper...

Grief can look very different in children than it does in adults. In this episode, Sissy Goff and David Thomas share five important ways kids process loss: in small doses, in the middle of everyday life, through emotions connected to secondary losses, through play, and in new ways as they grow and develop. They encourage parents to follow their child’s lead, offer language when grief unexpectedly surfaces, and remember that there is no “right” timetable or expression of grief. Rather than trying to make children grieve like adults, caregivers can remain close, make room for remembering, and reassure kids t...

Ginny Yurich, founder of 1000 Hours Outside, joins Sissy and David to explore how outdoor play, movement, and hands-on experiences prepare children to learn and grow. She shares how homeschooling has shaped her understanding of education, emphasizing that children learn constantly through their interests, relationships, everyday responsibilities, and time in nature. Ginny also explains how outdoor play builds problem-solving skills, agency, confidence, and the ability to assess healthy risks. In a rapidly changing, technology-driven world, she encourages parents to focus less on performance and more on developing distinctly human strengths such as creativity, empathy, communication, practical skills, and meaningful relationships.<...

Parent-teacher conferences can feel stressful for parents, but Sissy Goff and David Thomas encourage families to approach them as opportunities to build a supportive team around their child. They share practical ways to create a spirit of partnership with teachers, receive honest feedback without becoming defensive, and look beyond grades to understand how a child is growing academically, emotionally, and socially. They also remind parents to focus on a few meaningful next steps, involve children in solving problems, and recognize where stepping back may allow kids to develop greater independence, responsibility, and confidence.

Suggested parent-teacher conference questions:<...

In this episode, Sissy and David sit down with Michael and Melissa Kruger to talk about helping families build meaningful spiritual rhythms together. The Krugers share the heart behind their new book, The Good News Family Devotional: Fifty-Two Weeks Through the Gospel of Mark, and encourage parents that family discipleship doesn’t have to be perfect or complicated to make a lasting impact. They discuss creating space for kids to ask hard questions, building resilience through a loving and faith-filled home, and remembering that small, consistent steps over time can shape a child’s faith for years to come.

As kids head back to school, Sissy Goff and David Thomas share five practical ways parents can help them navigate the big emotions that often come with transition. They encourage parents to expect heightened feelings, lend kids their confidence, let feelings “ride but not drive,” protect margin for rest, and help kids collect evidence of their own capability. With simple scripts and questions parents can use at home, Sissy and David remind us that the goal isn’t for kids to become fearless—it’s for them to learn that they can feel nervous, overwhelmed, or uncertain and still move forwa...

Sissy Goff and David Thomas sit down with Lysa TerKeurst for a meaningful conversation about making peace with what we can’t control—especially as parents. Lysa shares what she’s learned through raising five children, walking through divorce, and now becoming a grandmother, including the importance of keeping kids talking, releasing the need to control outcomes, and allowing children to experience consequences and build resilience. She reminds parents that their children’s mistakes don’t define their parenting and encourages families to create a strong sense of belonging, pursue their own growth, and trust God with what they ultimately...

As kids head back to school, friendships can bring just as much anxiety as academics. In this episode, Sissy Goff and David Thomas share five practical ways parents can help kids build social confidence: practice the first few minutes of the day, teach kids to notice others, give them simple conversation starters, allow friendships time to grow, and celebrate courage instead of popularity. They remind parents that friendship is a skill that develops through practice, small risks, repeated interactions, and plenty of imperfect moments along the way.

Resources mentioned:

Capable by David Thomas and Sissy...

Melanie Shankle and Sophie Hudson join David and Sissy for a funny, honest conversation about raising capable kids without giving in to pressure, perfectionism, or the urge to rescue them from every hard moment. Drawing from their friendship and experiences parenting young adults, they discuss the importance of allowing kids to fail, advocate for themselves, handle responsibilities, and develop confidence in their own decision-making. They also share how laughter creates perspective and strengthens family relationships, making room for both lighthearted moments and harder conversations. Melanie and Sophie encourage parents to know their individual child, model an authentic faith, apologize...

As the new school year approaches, Sissy Goff and David Thomas help parents understand why transitions can bring big feelings, physical symptoms, and anxious thoughts for both kids and adults. They share an easy-to-remember “A+ Anxiety Plan”: anticipate anxiety, create an action plan, avoid avoidance, act it out through practice, and affirm courage. With practical scripts and strategies for navigating school drop-off, social situations, and after-school conversations, Sissy and David encourage parents to help kids take small, brave steps and collect evidence that they are capable of handling hard things.

Resources mentioned: 

Capable by David Thoma...

Dr. Dale Atkins joins David and Sissy to explore how speed, chronic stress, digital distraction, and intensive parenting are reshaping family relationships and contributing to a crisis of capability in kids. She shares practical wisdom for building stronger connections across generations, including listening without becoming defensive, respecting adult children as independent people, offering guidance without taking over, and staying curious when experiences or memories differ. The conversation also highlights the importance of unstructured family time, emotional safety, intergenerational relationships, and modeling kindness through small, everyday actions.

Resources mentioned:

Dr. Dale Atkins website

The...

Friendships are where kids practice being human, but social anxiety, screens, group dynamics, and “rollercoaster” relationships are making connection harder than ever. Sissy and David offer practical ways parents can help kids recognize healthy friendships, develop realistic expectations, practice conversation and initiation, understand reciprocity, set kind boundaries, and navigate awkward moments. Rather than managing every relationship, parents can coach kids to find good friends, have a “good picker,” and become the kind of friend they hope to have.

Resources mentioned

Capable by David Thomas and Sissy Goff

I Am Capable by David Thomas and Siss...

Katty and Hunter Connelly join Sissy and David to share what they have learned while raising four very different children. They discuss building capability through honesty, responsibility, hard work, and allowing kids to experience the consequences of their choices rather than constantly stepping in to fix things. They also offer encouragement for navigating sibling conflict, treating children fairly without treating them exactly the same, launching young adults, and trusting that strained sibling relationships can grow stronger over time. Through plenty of honesty about their own mistakes, Katty and Hunter remind parents that apologizing, letting go, and consistently communicating unconditional...

Sibling relationships can be some of the longest and most meaningful relationships in a person’s life, helping kids develop empathy, resilience, social skills, and healthy conflict resolution. Sissy and David encourage parents to see sibling comparison, fairness battles, and everyday arguments as opportunities to build lifelong skills rather than problems to eliminate. They share practical ways to strengthen sibling connection, including allowing kids time to work through disagreements, coaching rather than controlling conflict, practicing repair, creating shared experiences and responsibilities, protecting each child’s individuality, and looking beneath difficult behavior to understand what may really be going on.

David and Sissy talk with two beloved educators, kindergarten teacher Wheat Teller and high school history teacher Dan Carpenter, about what capability looks like in the classroom from the earliest years through high school. Together, they discuss the importance of letting kids struggle in age-appropriate ways, resist the urge to rescue, build emotional regulation, develop independence, and learn through challenge and even failure. Wheat and Dan also talk about the effects of busyness and screens, the need for reading, family dinners, focused study time, and slowing down enough for kids to experience the joy of learning.

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Sissy and David celebrate the powerful role teachers, coaches, mentors, and other trusted adults play in helping kids grow into capable, resilient people. They reflect on the teachers and mentors who made them feel seen, believed in, challenged, and loved, and they remind listeners that one steady, caring adult can change the trajectory of a child’s life. They also talk about the practical ways educators and coaches build capability in kids by helping them feel known beyond performance, offering safe challenge, supporting anxious children with calm and clear expectations, and offering hope. The episode closes with a challenge fo...

Sissy and David talk with Barbara “Babs” Costello, beloved social media creator, former preschool founder, mom of four, and grandmother of nine, about the lasting impact of words, the gift of intentional grandparenting, and creating a home that feels peaceful rather than perfect. Babs shares wisdom from her new children’s book, Did Your Mother Ever Tell You?, encouraging parents to make space for kids’ big feelings while speaking life-giving words over them. She also offers practical homemaking advice, including her simple “15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night” routine, and makes a strong case for screen-free family dinners as a...

In this conversation, John and Carole Ferguson and their daughters reflect on the rhythms that built a close, capable, faith-filled family across generations. They share how clear expectations, consistent family meals, chores, service, hospitality, gentle correction, and intentional time with extended family gave their children both security and responsibility. As grandparents, John and Carole emphasize the importance of prayer, showing up for meaningful moments, supporting without managing, welcoming spouses as family, and helping each grandchild feel deeply loved, accepted, and known.

Questions David mentions:

When you think about your family growing up, what did your...

In this conversation, David and Sissy explore the important role grandparents play in helping children grow into capable, resilient adults. They discuss how grandparents provide a unique source of wisdom, encouragement, and unconditional love while reinforcing the values parents are teaching at home. The episode also highlights the power of family stories, meaningful traditions, and intentional connection in helping kids develop a stronger sense of identity, belonging, and confidence.

Questions David mentions:

When you think about your family growing up, what did your parents do that made you feel most safe, seen, and known?

Sissy and David sit down with Sharon McMahon to discuss how parents can help children become informed, resilient, and capable in a complicated world. Sharon shares her journey from classroom teacher to becoming “America’s Government Teacher,” and talks about the importance of balancing protection and preparation as kids grow. Together, they explore how children can handle difficult topics when guided by trusted adults, why self-awareness is essential for modeling calm engagement, and how teaching kids to focus on “the next needed thing” helps build confidence and agency. Sharon also shares the inspiring story of civil rights leader Septima Clark and...

Builder and longtime Daystar friend Doug Durr joins his daughters, Allye Gray and Analise Glover, to reflect on the unique bond between fathers and daughters. They share stories of growing up on job sites, farms, and adventures with their dad while learning lessons about grit, resilience, service, and character. Doug discusses the importance of hard work, staying present through every season of life, and walking with his children through both joys and challenges. The family also opens up about grief, recovery, and the role counseling and honesty played in keeping them deeply connected. Ultimately, this conversation highlights how unwavering...

David and Sissy explore the unique role fathers play in helping daughters develop confidence, resilience, and capability. Through personal stories, research, and counseling insights, they discuss how dads build capability by spending time with their daughters, teaching practical skills, staying emotionally engaged, and continuing to pursue connection even during the challenging adolescent years. They also address common pitfalls, such as aligning with daughters against moms or withdrawing when daughters seem distant, and offer practical ways fathers can strengthen connection through shared experiences, curiosity, encouragement, and consistent presence. 

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In this Capable Connections conversation, Hunter Henry and his mom, Jenny Henry, reflect on the values and experiences that shaped Hunter from childhood to adulthood. They discuss the importance of faith, grace, character, perseverance, family dinners, and meaningful connection, as well as the challenges of giving kids increasing independence as they grow. Through stories about sports, family life, and parenting missteps, they highlight how strong relationships, encouragement, and trust help children develop confidence, resilience, and capability.

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David and Sissy explore the powerful relationship between moms and sons, emphasizing that moms are often a boy’s emotional home base and play a key role in shaping his confidence, emotional health, and future relationships. They discuss how boys often express their biggest emotions where they feel safest and encourage moms to respond with warmth, steadiness, and clear boundaries. The conversation also highlights the importance of helping boys build responsibility, self-regulation, and respect while avoiding unhealthy patterns of over-accommodation.

Resources mentioned

Capable by David Thomas and Sissy Goff

Strong and Smart: A Bo...

Sissy Goff and David Thomas sit down with father and son Randy and Scott Hearon for a deeply honest conversation about the father-son relationship. Through stories spanning childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, they explore the messages boys receive about identity, capability, performance, faith, and belonging. Randy reflects on his growth as a father, including the impact of addiction, sports culture, and grace, while Scott shares how his dad’s presence, vulnerability, encouragement, and willingness to grow alongside him shaped his life. Together they discuss the importance of helping boys know they have what it takes, the dangers of performance-based identity, an...

In episode 382, Sissy Goff and David Thomas continue their Capable Connections series by exploring the unique relationship between fathers and sons. They discuss how fatherhood shapes both men and children, while highlighting challenges boys face around performance, emotional expression, and isolation. Through research, personal stories, and practical advice, they encourage dads to help sons build healthy identities, strong relationships, and emotional resilience by modeling vulnerability, prioritizing connection, and reminding boys that their worth is not based on achievement. 

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In this episode, Shawn Johnson East and Andrew East discuss the importance of commitment, resilience, and raising capable kids. Drawing from their experiences as elite athletes and parents, they share how supportive parents helped them build confidence through challenges rather than rescuing them from discomfort. The conversation highlights the value of letting children develop independence, discover their unique passions, learn from failure, and stick with things that matter, while emphasizing that growth and joy often come through perseverance rather than quick success.

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Lisa Whelchel and Haven Weits share a rich and honest conversation about raising capable kids, cultivating independence, and building a strong mother-daughter relationship that lasts into adulthood. Through stories of entrepreneurship, trust, conflict, and repair, they explore how secure boundaries, meaningful connection, and a willingness to keep showing up for one another can shape both families and future generations.

Resources mentioned:

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This Episode explores the powerful and often complicated relationship between mothers and daughters, highlighting how deeply girls are shaped by their moms’ words, reactions, and emotional health. Sissy Goff and David Thomas discuss the importance of modeling grace, resisting the urge to rescue or overcorrect, and helping daughters grow through hard things with support instead of protection. They also share practical ways moms can stay connected to their girls through simple everyday moments like walks, shared journals, music, dance parties, and intentional one-on-one time, all with the goal of helping girls feel safe, seen, and capable. 

This episode features an engaging conversation with Dude Perfect members Cory Cotton and Garrett Hilbert about friendship, faith, perseverance, and raising resilient kids. Joined by Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Sissy’s nephews Henry and Whit, the group talks about how Dude Perfect started from simple backyard competitions in college and grew into a global platform focused on family-friendly entertainment. Cory and Garrett share how failure, patience, teamwork, and learning to apologize have shaped both their business and friendships over nearly two decades together. They also discuss their heart behind creating clean content families can trust, encouraging kids to ge...

Dr. Kathy Koch joins Sissy Goff and David Thomas to discuss the growing challenges facing today’s young adults and families, especially around resilience, identity, technology, and relationships between parents and adult children. Dr. Kathy explains how overparenting, screen dependence, fear of failure, and endless choices have contributed to anxiety, lack of perseverance, and “failure to launch” struggles, while also offering hope through intentional connection, healthy boundaries, faith, and small relational repairs. She encourages parents to stop leading from guilt, help kids practice making decisions and asking for help, create healthier technology rhythms, and focus on rebuilding trust and commun...

In this episode, Alena Pitts Franklin shares how grief, faith, and family shaped her understanding of capability and identity. She reflects on her early acting role in War Room, the loss of her mother Winter Pitts, and how God’s steadiness carried her through seasons of fear, insecurity, and growth. Throughout the episode, Alena encourages parents to lead with peace, encouragement, and authentic faith rather than fear, while reminding girls that their identity is rooted in God’s love instead of culture, achievement, or comparison. She also discusses her new book God Is, her ongoing work with For Girls Like...

In this episode, Sissy Goff and David Thomas discuss the growing challenges many young adults face, including entitlement, emotional fragility, difficulty handling feedback, and struggles with responsibility and relationships. They explain how capability is built through real-life experiences like disappointment, inconvenience, accountability, conflict resolution, and service to others. The conversation encourages parents to stop removing every obstacle, allow natural consequences, and support young adults as they learn to navigate hard things with resilience and maturity. 

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In this episode of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast, Dr. Ken Ginsburg explains that resilience is built through strong, loving relationships and introduces his “7 Cs” of resilience: confidence, competence, character, connection, contribution, coping, and control. Drawing from his work with adolescents, he encourages parents to guide rather than control their children so they can develop confidence, healthy coping skills, and a lasting sense of purpose, while emphasizing the importance of human connection in a technology-driven world.

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This conversation highlights a growing “capability gap” in teens, where some, often girls, are overwhelmed by pressure and perfectionism while others, often boys, are disengaged and avoidant. David and Sissy connect this to factors like digital communication, lowered relationship standards, and increased screen use, all of which can hinder resilience and healthy development. They emphasize that true capability is built through real-life challenges, responsibility, and healthy risk-taking, and encourage parents to raise expectations, foster strong relationships, teach coping skills, and create space for both rest and growth.

Resources mentioned:

Capable: How to Teach Your Kids the...

Dr. Lisa Damour explains that resilience comes from learning to handle discomfort, not avoiding it, and reminds parents that mental health isn’t about always feeling happy. Especially in the middle school years, kids face rapid changes and self-doubt, making it crucial for parents to support rather than rescue. By allowing kids to work through hard moments while staying gently connected, we help them build the confidence and capability they need for life.

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Middle school is a crucial but often overlooked stage where kids need practice, not perfection, as they navigate social disconnection, increased screen use, and deep self-consciousness. By creating opportunities for real-life interaction, responsibility, healthy voices, and manageable discomfort, parents can help kids build the resilience and capability they’ll need for what’s ahead.

Resources mentioned:

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Dr. Bruce Perry unpacks the difference between stress, adversity, and trauma, helping parents shift from asking “what’s wrong with you?” to “what happened to you?” He explains how moderate, predictable stress actually builds resilience, while overprotection can limit a child’s growth. He also highlights the powerful role of relationships—especially how a regulated parent can calm a dysregulated child—and offers practical ways to foster connection through rhythm, movement, and presence. Ultimately, he reminds us that understanding a child’s story is key to helping them heal and grow.

Resources mentioned:

Elementary school is a critical window where kids begin asking, “Am I capable?” and moments of struggle, not success, are what build that belief. Anxiety, anger, lack of regulation, and low agency are showing up more than ever, but they’re also opportunities. When parents pause before rescuing, hold steady boundaries, and give kids space to problem-solve, they’re actually building resilience and mental health. Capability grows when kids experience manageable challenges with support, learning, “I can do hard things.”

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