The Messy Parts

Jake Barton designed the 9/11 Memorial Museum. Twenty-five years later, one photograph still undoes him: a young firefighter in the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, headed toward the towers, in what turned out to be the last picture ever taken of him alive. Jake joins Maryam on the blue couch to talk about the radical choice at the heart of that museum: letting the people who ran out of the burning buildings speak for themselves instead of being spoken for. And about the messier parts of his own story — an outcast childhood, a mentor relationship that shattered after Jake's three-person firm beat hi...

He ran Southern Living and top Time Inc. titles with no college degree — then got fired, and calls it a gift. What followed was darker: broke, aged out of media at 50, and homeless. Ron King, now known as "Donkey King," rebuilt his life running a sanctuary that rescues donkeys from slaughter — 220 of them and counting. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Ron opens up to Maryam about hitting rock bottom twice, the hustle that built (and rebuilt) his career, and the simple mindset shift — "things could always be worse" — that carried him through it. A wild, honest conversation about re...

Jeff Jones spent his career as one of the most respected CMOs in America — Coca-Cola, Gap, Target — before making the leap to run Uber's global ride-sharing business under founder Travis Kalanick. Seven months later, at the height of Uber's pre-IPO valuation, he walked away from it all: no job lined up, no stock, no plan. On this episode of The Messy Parts, Jeff sits down with Maryam on the blue couch for his first real interview about what actually happened inside Uber during one of its most chaotic and scandal-plagued years. He also opens up about growing up in West...

Fired at 24. Turned down her dream job at Nike, then took it anyway. Walked into HSN as the eighth CEO in ten years. Mindy Grossman built one of the least likely careers in American business, and in this episode of The Messy Parts she tells Maryam how: leaving college at 19 to move to New York with $1,800, landing her first job by admitting she couldn't take shorthand, buying 2,000 Aeron chairs to prove a broken culture was changing, and converting 30,000 Weight Watchers meetings to virtual in six days at the start of COVID. Plus the one question about her daughter she...

Behind every legendary career is an unfiltered human truth. In this special compilation, 20 of our most notable guests—including Mickey Drexler, Samantha Bee, Blake Mycoskie, Bonnie Hammer, Kim Hastreiter, Sally Susman, Sari Botton, and Baked by Melissa—reveal what happens when the PR guardrails come down. From Bevy Smith’s show-stopping mandate to "have sex, a lot of it," to surprisingly vulnerable confessions about daily tears, imposter syndrome, and surviving a crisis of confidence, these bite-sized moments cut straight to the heart. Equal parts entertaining, profound, and deeply validating, this episode proves that even industry pioneers, Pulitzer winners, and cultur...

Brian Kelly (aka The Points Guy) has been obsessed with credit card and frequent flyer points since childhood. At age 12, his dad challenged him to book a family vacation using only points, and young Brian successfully got his entire family to the Cayman Islands for free. In this episode, Brian tells Maryam about the reality behind his meteoric rise: ruined credit, toxic friendships, launching The Points Guy as a side hustle, becoming a multi-millionaire at 28 years old - and the loneliness that followed. He shares hard-won lessons about leveraging relationships, knowing your superpowers, and why most career decisions aren't...

"I don't believe in burnout." That's Laura Mayer, podcast industry veteran and author of Tryhard, explaining why she's never really taken a break: not after a complicated pregnancy, not after quitting a stable executive job at ABC News, not ever. In this candid conversation with Maryam, Laura traces her try-hard tendencies back to a childhood spent tracking her mother's alcoholism, unpacks the false choice between "lean in" hustle and burnout culture, and explains why she walked away from a secure media career to be more present for her daughter. It's a funny, unflinching look at ambition, identity, and the...

"Even your dream job sucks." That's not cynicism — it's the most useful career advice Samantha Bee has. On this episode of The Messy Parts, she tells Maryam what 12 years at “The Daily Show” and running “Full Frontal” actually taught her: that no one hands you management training before you're leading 75 people, that public setbacks feel enormous and matter less than you think, and that the comparison game — "looking in other people's food bowls" — is where careers go to stall. Her rule for anyone under 35: stop worrying what people think of you, because they're too busy worrying about themselves. What's the "dream job...

She dug through filthy sub-basements in the Bowery looking for discarded restaurant ware — and built one of New York's most beloved stores. Julie Gaines, co-founder of Fishs Eddy, joins Maryam on the blue couch to talk about 40 years of messy parts: the husband who cheated and left for Florida (then Thailand), the three CEOs who didn't work out, and the MS diagnosis she now calls a "dignity thief." Julie doesn't sugarcoat any of it. She's blunt, she's funny, and she's still working through it all. If you've ever wondered what it actually takes to survive four decades in business an...

"They cut me from that team." That's how Columbia women's basketball head coach Megan Griffith opens this episode of The Messy Parts — and it's just the beginning of her story. Megan tells Maryam about growing up a Chinese American kid in a homogeneous Pennsylvania suburb, playing for four different coaches in four years as a student at Columbia, and deciding to pursue a professional basketball career across Finland, Sweden, and the Netherlands. Megan gets candid about identity, belonging, getting benched by life more than once, and the leadership lessons she now hands down to her players as Columbia's most su...

What really happens after a founder sells their company? Blake Mycoskie built one of the most recognized brands in the world at TOMS — and hit rock bottom the moment he walked away. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Blake talks candidly with Maryam about founder identity, the mental health crisis hiding behind big exits, and why more money and more success never made him feel like enough. He also shares the advice he'd give every founder in their 20s and 30s, what Ted Turner told him before he made his first billion, and how healing his "core wound" ch...

She's a staff writer at The New York Times Magazine, a Yale lecturer, and one of the most celebrated journalists working today. So why does Susan Dominus still feel like she's figuring it out? In a candid conversation with Maryam, Susan gets into the imposter syndrome that nearly stopped her from calling herself a writer, the sibling rivalry that quietly shaped her ambition, and the career regret she wishes she could go back and fix. Plus: what AI has changed about her reporting, why she thinks Substack isn't enough, and the advice she gives every student who wants to...

In this re-release of one of our favorite episodes, Gary Vaynerchuk opens up to Maryam about fear, self-esteem, forgiveness, AI, leadership, and what he believes is a growing crisis of “late adulthood.” Gary shares why so many professionals feel stuck — not because of burnout, but because of insecurity and unresolved resentment. He breaks down his philosophy on kind candor vs. radical candor, why fear is the real career killer, and how over-coddling may be delaying independence for an entire generation. From parenting teenagers to leading thousands of employees, Gary explains why self-worth is the operating system behind success — and why forg...

What happens when you walk away from the career everyone expected you to have? Chef Ayesha Nurdjaja was on a path toward law school, working at a prestigious law firm and doing everything “right.” But something was missing. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Ayesha shares with Maryam how she left a promising legal career to pursue cooking, even when her parents stopped speaking to her and everyone around her thought she was making a huge mistake. She opens up about growing up in Brooklyn, discovering her passion for food later in life, working brutal restaurant hours for almo...

"No just means not right now." That's the philosophy that kept writer and Oldster founder Sari Botton going through decades of rejection before building one of Substack's most beloved magazines — at age 60. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Sari gets honest with Maryam about the messy middle: the identity searching, the failed attempts, the mean girls that never quite went away, and the moment she finally stopped contorting herself to fit someone else's story. She also shares the writing strategies that got her through a book deal she almost abandoned, and why she thinks the busier you are, th...

Bonnie Hammer ran 10 networks and two studios at NBCUniversal — but her career didn't start in a corner office. It started cleaning up dog poop on a kids' TV set. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Bonnie gets radically honest with Maryam about the moments that actually shaped her career: being passed over for the top job at NBC, negotiating her way into her own studio, saying yes to WWE when every instinct said no, and building one of the most collaborative cultures in a notoriously cutthroat industry. Plus: Bonnie’s honest take on ageism in media, AI's impact on t...

What does it take to build one of New York City's most recognizable social media brands — from scratch, in secret, while working a day job? Subway Creatures founder Rick McGuire tells Maryam the whole story: from working at VH1 and MTV while quietly building Subway Creatures on the side to Pizza Rat, Ed Sheeran, and a very public account hack that brought him to tears and nearly took everything. Rick gets honest about the chaos of entrepreneurship, learning to value your own work, and why New York City's subway is the greatest content machine on earth. If you're building so...

Kerry Docherty is a co-founder of Faherty, the surf lifestyle brand she built alongside her husband, his identical twin brother, and her mother-in-law. But behind the sun-soaked brand was a woman quietly carrying the weight of secrets — from childhood, from marriage, and from a business that nearly broke her. In this episode, Kerry opens up to Maryam about growing up in an Irish Catholic household where hard things went unspoken, what it really means to work with your spouse, the emotional affair that changed everything, and why she's spent the last few years reclaiming a word most women are ta...

What if the hardest parts of your life were actually setting you up for something bigger? Assia Grazioli-Venier’s story is a powerful reminder that your worst moments don’t define you — what you do next does. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Assia shares with Maryam her journey through dyslexia, cancer, infertility, and major career pivots — and how she turned every setback into fuel. She opens up about building a venture capital fund, why women struggle to raise money, and what she wishes she knew about finance earlier in life. If you’ve ever doubted yourself or felt behin...

Belle Burden was raised in a family where you simply did not talk about the messy parts. So when her husband left without explanation during COVID lockdown — and then asked her to tell people it was amicable — something in her snapped. In this episode, the New York Times bestselling author of “Strangers” tells Maryam about the moment she chose radical honesty over a managed narrative, and why that single decision changed everything. Belle and Maryam explore the eerie parallel between how betrayed spouses and laid-off professionals are both pressured to keep quiet and stay composed — and what it really costs us w...

What does it take to walk away from a six-figure career with no plan, go broke, and come out the other side with a Bravo show, an Amazon Prime series, and a Broadway stage credit? In this episode of The Messy Parts, the one and only Bevy Smith tells Maryam about growing up in Central Harlem, cutting her teeth in luxury fashion advertising, landing at Vibe and Rolling Stone, and then walking away from all of it to start over — completely sure she was making the right call. Find out what caused Bevy to realize her dream had become a...

Joanna Coles built one of the most storied careers in media — from editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan to running The Daily Beast. So when she says feminism got it wrong, people listen. In this episode, Joanna challenges assumptions about ambition, motherhood, and what a successful life actually looks like. She reveals why curiosity — not ambition — drove every major career move she made, what she wishes someone had told her at 28, and why the "have it all" conversation has been missing its most important ingredient. Plus: the moment she knew it was time to walk away from Hearst after 12 years, and what reinve...

Today we're dropping something a little different into your feed: a conversation from our friends at the Rapid Response podcast. Maryam was a guest on the show recently with host Bob Safian, but in the episode you’re about to hear, Bob sits down with David Ko, the CEO of Calm — the mental health and wellness app with more than 180 million downloads — right as he's announcing he's stepping down. Ko unpacks why he made the call, what the relentless pressure of the C-suite really does to a person, and how to draw the line between the kind of stress that s...

Parul Somani was 31 years old, holding her one-week-old newborn, when her phone rang. It was her breast surgeon. On a Saturday. She knew it wasn't good news. What followed — cancer treatment, chemotherapy, a layoff she never saw coming, and a years-long search for work that actually meant something — would have broken most people. Instead, it rebuilt her. In this episode, Parul tells Maryam about growing up with immigrant parents who kept their struggles private; following the prestige path all the way to MIT, Harvard, and Bain; and what it finally took to stop optimizing her life and start actually livi...

What does it take to walk away from everything you thought you wanted? Artist C. Finley knows. She was pre-law, headed for the Supreme Court, until one semester cracked her wide open and changed the entire trajectory of her life. Today she's a renowned muralist, large-scale painter, and the force behind the Every Woman Biennial — but the path here was anything but straight. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Finley gets honest with Maryam about identity collapse, creative risk, inconsistent income, and why being foolish enough to go for it might be the most strategic thing you ever do...

What does it take to walk into a failing company with zero experience and turn it around? Patrick Steel — former CEO of Politico — did exactly that. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Patrick shares with Maryam how he navigated multiple career pivots: from the Clinton White House to investment banking to leading one of Washington's most powerful media brands. We cover imposter syndrome, recovering from public failure, why no task should ever be beneath you, and how relationships — not credentials — are the real currency of a successful career. Plus, Patrick gives his honest take on AI, the creator economy...

​​What happens when a high-achieving executive loses everything — and has to start over? Shelley Huff spent decades climbing the corporate ladder, from merchant at Walmart to Fortune's Most Powerful Women list, to CEO of Serta Simmons Bedding. Then came bankruptcy, betrayal, and a firing she never got to say goodbye from. In this raw and honest conversation, Shelly opens up to Maryam about panic disorder in the workplace, the identity crisis that follows job loss, the grief nobody names when a career ends, and the sabbatical that changed her life. Whether you're navigating burnout, a career pivot, or simply trying...

This is the world Kim Hastreiter built: Paper Magazine. Stuff. Joey Arias. Salvador Dali. Barbara Streisand. Nora Ephron. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Andy Warhol. Keith Haring. Bill Cunningham. Soho Weekly News. Michael Musto. Sex Pistols. Michael Stipe. Larry Kramer. And on and on. She is one of one, a cultural trailblazer in New York City and beyond. In this enlightening conversation, Kim gets honest with Maryam about the moments that shaped her — the art world that wouldn't let her in, the investors who didn't get it, the cultural earthquakes she lived through and refused to be flattened by. She talks ab...

What happens when a high-powered career hits unexpected turns? In this deeply personal episode of The Messy Parts, host Maryam Banikarim flips the script as her sister, award-winning journalist Susie Banikarim, interviews her about the defining — and messy — moments behind her remarkable journey. Maryam shares stories of growing up between cultures, navigating grief after losing her father, and building a bold career across advertising, publishing, tech, and global marketing leadership. She also reflects on moments of doubt — like stepping away from a top executive role and asking, “What am I if not employed?” The conversation explores resilience, entrepreneurship, motherhood, and the im...

Katrina Markoff built a globally successful chocolate empire, only to lose it all in a devastating corporate and personal betrayal. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Katrina gets real with Maryam about burnout, identity loss, and the fear of starting over. From staying too long in “safe” situations to learning how to trust her instincts again, Katrina shares the messy in-between moments most people hide. She and Maryam discuss bad business breakups, comparison culture, and why you don’t have to be fully “healed” to begin again. This is a conversation about choosing yourself, letting go of titles, and rebuil...

What happens 48 hours after you get fired? For Melissa Ben-Ishay, it was the beginning of Baked by Melissa. But this isn’t just a startup success story — it’s a conversation about rejection, imposter syndrome, and learning to own your voice. Melissa reveals to Maryam how she built a cupcake brand from her apartment, rode the subway making deliveries, and still didn’t believe she deserved to be CEO of the company that bears her name. She shares the pressure of being the face of a brand, the loneliness of leadership, and why confidence must be earned through experience. If you’v...

Gary Vaynerchuk opens up to Maryam about fear, self-esteem, forgiveness, AI, leadership, and what he believes is a growing crisis of “late adulthood.” Gary shares why so many professionals feel stuck — not because of burnout, but because of insecurity and unresolved resentment. He breaks down his philosophy on kind candor vs. radical candor, why fear is the real career killer, and how over-coddling may be delaying independence for an entire generation. From parenting teenagers to leading thousands of employees, Gary explains why self-worth is the operating system behind success — and why forgiveness (especially of yourself) might be the most underrat...

Sojin Lee has built startups, helped scale Net-a-Porter, won fashion industry awards — and watched businesses collapse. In this candid conversation, she opens up to Maryam about public failure, ambition addiction, and choosing love over everything else. From early executive days in luxury fashion to launching ahead-of-its-time ventures, Sojin shares hard lessons about risk, ego, shame, and survival. She talks about losing major clients, navigating market crashes, and confronting identity when success disappears. This episode is for entrepreneurs, founders, and professionals facing career pivots, burnout, or reinvention. If you’ve ever tied your worth to achievement — or wondered who you are wi...

Mickey Drexler built the Gap into a $15 billion empire, created Old Navy, helped redefine J.Crew, and shaped American retail culture. And then? He was fired. No warning. No thank you. Just a card, a sentence, and a door. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Maryam sits down with Mickey to talk about what actually happens when you do everything “right” and still get pushed out. They go deep on instinct vs. pedigree, why big companies break good people, how to recover from a public exit, and the price of loyalty in a system that doesn’t always return...

At what point does a side hustle stop being a hobby? On this episode of The Messy Parts, Marla Aaron tells Maryam the exact moment she realized she could no longer hedge her ambition. What began as a creative outlet eventually became a full-fledged business, but not without years of doubt, rejection, and financial anxiety. In this episode, Marla and Maryam explore the tension between security and risk, why waiting to feel “ready” is a trap, and how fear can coexist with clarity. They also talk about loneliness, creativity, social media as an unexpected unlock, and what it really take...

Is it possible to be successful, exhausted, uncertain, and stuck — all at the same time? In this episode of The Messy Parts, former Pfizer communications chief Sally Susman joins Maryam on the blue couch to get real about fear, ambition, burnout, and what it really takes to grow. From being told she’d never have a career after coming out, to leading Pfizer during COVID, to leaving corporate life behind, Sally shares the messy, human moments that shaped her leadership. She talks about the risks of playing it too safe, losing identity when a job ends, and why breakthrough mome...

This week, we are looking back at some of the most powerful, hilarious, and vulnerable moments from The Messy Parts. We created this episode with Hark Audio, gathering the standout clips that define what this show is all about: embracing the chaos and finding strength in the struggle.

Whether you are new to the podcast or a day-one listener, this compilation features the wisdom you need right now. We revisit these conversations and more: