Work From Bed Friday
A committed couple of 30+ years in conversation about marriage, sex, and connection through the lens of contemporary books and media that have ignited their marriage, sex, and connection. Every Friday. From bed.
Dick and Wicker: Season 4 Finale!
Amy & Tommy close out Season 4 with a fishing theme! Tommy kicks it off with a quick review of Herman Melville's Moby Dick before the two dive in to the world of The Fisherwoman after seeing Wicker, the recent film directed by Alex Huston Fischer and Eleanor Wilson and based on a short story by Ursula Wills. Join them in an analysis of ways in which we can view marriage through yet another lens.
Mentioned in this episode:
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Essex
Studio One Theater
W...
Far Apart Parts: Continuing our Conversation with Jeanine Klotzkin!
Amy & Tommy continue their conversation with Jeanine Klotzkin, dear friend, podcast listener, and IFS therapist. The threesome examines Heated Rivalry and DTF St. Louis through the lens of Internal Family Systems, or "parts work." In addition, Jeanine clarifies the roles of the "managers" and the "firefighters" in parts work, and posits that far apart parts are a sure way to create DRA-MA!
Mentioned in this Episode:
So You Married a Human by Jackie Kelley
Doc Reneker
Stacy Peralta
Jeanine Klotzkin
You Are The One You H...
We're All Kaleidescopes: Season 4 Wrap Up with Jeanine Klotzkin
Amy and Tommy reconvene with Jeanine Klotzkin, IFS therapist, listener, and friend to revisit some of their favorite Work From Bed Friday books and shows tnrough the lens of Internal Family Systems, or to use the generic term, "parts work."
As usual the conversation gets juicy, deep, and lengthy! So this is Part 1—tune in next week for Part II!
Mentioned in this Episode:
Jeanine Klotzkin
You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD.
No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D.<...
Sex, Death, and The Dream Team: "Me and You and Everyone We Know"
Amy & Tommy finally watched Miranda July's first studio film "Me and You and Everyone We Know" and launch into a full discussion of its themes, quirks, and delights. The film won several awards and Roger Ebert considered it the 5th best film of the 2000s! Also, attraction as a concept and who is on your Dream Team?
Dire Straights Podcast
All Fours by Miranda July
Me and You and Everyone We Know, 2005
The Goldfish Scene
The Walk to Tyrone Street
William Butler Yeats on Sex and Death
...Commas Save Sex Lives: Chapter 6 of You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
Amy and Tommy discuss the final chapter of You Are the One You've Been Waiting For by Dick Schwartz, Ph.D., weaving in their own DIY method of couples therapy: discussing their parts on a podcast! They invite you to try it too! There are Venn diagrams and very important commas. Don't miss it!
Wicker
Wicked
Jonathan Bailey as the Sexiest Man Alive
Wickr
You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD.
Muistardeaux Collective
Dead White by Wendy S. Walters
Beyond Reason: Chapter 5 of You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
Amy and Tommy explore Chapter 5 of You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, Ph. D. Not entirely the snoozefest that Amy initially expected, the two plunge into a super deep dive that illuminates new facets of their breakthrough story. Also, reason gets put in its place!
EFFT: Emotion Focused Family Therapy
You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD.
The Backstory and the Breakthrough
Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
Big Swiss by Jen Beagin
The Ministry of Time by K...
Empty Boats?: Chapter 4 of You Are The One You've Been Waiting For
Amy and Tommy dive into Chapter 4 of You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, Ph.D. after discussing their shout out by the Dire Straights podcasting duo! The Dire Straights pod research on AI boyfriends was the inspiration for the AI threesome, and their latest episode again enters the AI conversation. Amy & Tommy aren't afraid to talk aimlessly about AI and even try to relate AI to parts work. Is AI a part? Maybe not yet...
Dire Straights Podcast
Orchid ad commentary
Jeanine Klotzkin
You Are The...
Part 2: Three Suns in Two Beds: A Conversation with IFS Therapist Jeanine Klotzkin
Amy and Tommy continue their conversation with their dear friend, listener, and seasoned therapist Jeanine Klotzkin. Jeanine introduced the duo to the work of Richard Schwartz through his books, No Bad Parts and You Are The One You've Been Waiting For, the "bookclub" topic of Season 4. What a treat to be in conversation with an IFS-trained therapist who uses the work on a daily basis!
Mentioned in this Episode:
Jeanine Klotzkin
You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD.
No Bad Parts by...
Three Suns in Two Beds: A Conversation with IFS Therapist Jeanine Klotzkin, Part 1
Amy and Tommy welcome dear friend, listener, and seasoned therapist Jeanine Klotzkin to the bed/pod! Jeanine turned the duo on to the work of Richard Schwartz through his books, No Bad Parts and You Are The One You've Been Waiting For, the "bookclub" topic of Season 4. What a treat to be in conversation with an IFS-trained therapist who uses the work on a daily basis! Enjoy this first part of their juicy conversation and tune in next week for Part 2!
Mentioned in this Episode:
Jeanine Klotzkin
You Are...
Hung Like the Four Horsemen of Doom: Chapter 3 of You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
Amy & Tommy lament the loss of our icons of humanism: Dolly Parton, Gloria Steinem, and Tim Curry before going down a rabbit hole inspired by a quote by Steinem about turning 60. They then jump into Chapter 3 of You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD. Neo-exiles figure prominently in their discussion as they try to imagine what theirs might be or might have been. They go WAY back to examine their early relationship insecurities. They push back on the idea of DOOMED relationships. Come on, people!
Mentioned in t...
Watch Out for Bear Traps: Chapter 2 of You Are The One You've Been Waiting For
Quiet Divorcing, Quiet Quitting, and how to parent teenagers. So much comes up for Amy and Tommy as they discuss Chapter 2 of You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD. Also, Amy borrows some ideas and rebuilds them as a new scaffolding for interacting with humans: Attention, Affirm, Ask, Affection. You heard it first on Work From Bed Friday!
Mentioned in this Episode:
"Gen Z is Quiet Quitting: Are You Listening?"
"The Marriage is Long Over. Nobody Told Your Husband." by Hilary Silver
" The Women Q...
You Actually Can't Complete Me: You Are the One You've Been Waiting For Chapter One
Mentioned in this Episode:
Stacey & Paul Martino
The Missing Piece by Stacey and Paul Martino
The Miracle Morning for Transforming Your Relationship by Stacey and Paul Martino
You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D.
Ted Lasso
Original Music:
Song: Off My Stack
Artist: Rick Real and The Warmth
Album: Spirit Awards
Send us Fan Mail
Don't miss the good stuff! Sign up for our m...
Season 4 Premiere: Introduction to You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
Amy & Tommy launch into Season 4 with a discussion of the introduction to You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D. Amy feels vindicated in her general suspicion of couples therapy and Tommy realizes that their before times marriage was at least not as bad as the hot mess marriage of the case study in the intro. Looking forward to next week: Chapter 1!
Mentioned in this Episode:
DTF St. Louis
Woodstock Cafe
Mad Men
Breaking Bad
Entourage
Your...
No Bad Parts: Season 3 Finale Part II
In Part II of their Season 3 finale, Amy & Tommy discuss No Bad Parts, by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D. The book was recommended by a friend, listener, and therapist and serves as a jumping off point for Season 4 where they will discuss his followup book, You are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships. Can't wait for Season 4!
Mentioned in this Episode:
Internal Family Systems
No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D.
The Devil (Tarot Card)
You are the On...
No One is Normal, It Just Looks that Way from Across the Street: Season 3 Finale Part I
Back from a midsummer hiatus, Amy & Tommy attempted to close out season 3 with a juicy episode on No Bad Parts by Richard Schwarz, Ph. D, but end up spending so much time on their Titillating Tidbit and Let's Make it a Threesome segments that they had to break it into two episodes! Enjoy!
Wifehouse by Sonya Walger
Butter by Asako Yuzuki
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Ice Storm
Your Friends and Neighbors
DTF St. Louis
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. Ph.D
The Billionaires' Vagina Club: Come As You Are Conclusion
This episode was meant to discuss the conclusion to Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turned out to be a teeny, tiny non-chapter. But not to fear! Tommy and Amy pounce on a recent New Yorker article entitled, "The Billionaires' Vagina Club" and manage to turn it into their longest episode ever—the appetizer becomes the main course!
Mentioned in this Episode:
"The Billionaire's Vagina Club" by Melanie Thernstrom, The New Yorker, June 26, 2026
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
"Women's sexual health: desire, arousal, and orgas...
Choosing What You Have: Come As You Are Chapter 9
In this last chapter of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, Amy & Tommy discuss the the practice of happiness, how Nagoski misses the idea of play, and how we are all swimming in a patriarchal hot tub. Also, cross-body bags and DECIDING. To decide is to educate your monitor. It totally works.
Mentioned in this Episode:
"What Science Knows About Grief" in The New Yorker
DTF St. Louis
Hot Jason Bateman
Ted Lasso
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.
Awaken th...
Orgasm: Come As You Are Chapter 8
Are all orgasms created equal? What in the actual world? Tommy and Amy discuss the finer points of Chapter 8 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. Actually, they discuss ALL the points! There are spicy details not to be missed, including a mansplained orgasm. For reals.
Mentioned in this Episode:
The Husbands by Holly Gramazio
Indian Heaven
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.
"I know it when I see it."
Magnificent Sex by Peggy Kleinplatz, Ph. D. and A. Ménard, Ph. D.<...
The Pleasure Pool: Come As You Are Chapter 7
Finally! In Chapter 7 of Come AsYou Are, Emily Nagoski. Ph. D. gets to DESIRE: spontaneous desire and responsive desire and desire threshholds. Mind. Blown. Normalizing high threshold responsive desire is life changing and relationship saving. Also, the chasing dynamic. Wow.
Amy comes up with her favorite metaphor to date: the pleasure pool. Fill it up, keep it full, sparkling, and clean, and dive right in!
Mentioned in This Episode:
"Crooked Autumn Sun", Rick Bain and The Genius Position
David Schilling "Backseat DJ"
"Tears" by Sabrina Carpenter
Oh Baby, I'm SO Concordant Right Now: Come As You Are Chapter 6
Amy & Tommy make it to Chapter 6 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are and dive into more of the science of sex (what a fun job!) and more of Nagoski's metaphors (THIS is a restaurant.)—both of which are a little bit mind-blowing. Becoming aware of the dangerous sexual myths embedded in our culture is mind-blowing too. Be prepared. Also, turns out Tommy is a good feminist and Amy is a broski dude-man.
Mentioned in this episode:
Addyi: Pink Viagra
Emily Nagoski's OpEd in the LA Times
Come As You...
Our Cultural Context is Not that Sexy: Come As You Are Chapter 5
Our culture plants many of the weeds that choke our sexual garden. In this chapter of Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D., Amy and Tommy discuss cultural context and the "clusterfuck of mixed messages" that effect our sexual well being.
Fifty Shades of Gray by E L James
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
John Craigie
I Feel Pretty starring Amy Schumer
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph. D.
Invasive Plants of Portland
Addyi
Original Music:
...
Fucking Hedgehogs. Come As You Are Chapter 4
Coming off a celebration of their magical 22nd wedding anniversary, Amy & Tommy dive into a rollicking discussion of Chapter 4 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are.
Mentioned in this Episode:
The Sentinel Hotel
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
Burnout by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA
The Lents Bridge Project
Original Music:
Song: Women Only Like Me For My Mind
Artist: Rick Real and The Warmth
Album: Shong's Order
...
Learning/Liking/Wanting: Come As You Are Chapter 3
The most important sex organ is...the brain!! Even so, Amy & Tommy can't help but start with the clitoris and the fact that it's been largely ignored until the 90s. The NINETEEN NINETIES. Soon enough they move on to Chapter 3 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, the author-described "nerdy chapter," chock full of brain science. Don't worry, Amy & Tommy find several reasons turn up the spice level, including examining their own contexts for positive sexual experiences!
Mentioned in this Episode:
The Female Edge by Sara Szal, MD
"The Female Body W...
Lemons & Little Jackets & Other Turn-Ons: Come As You Are Chapter 2
Amy & Tommy begin to connect the dots: have our favorite stories from childhood and teenhood shaped our romantic and sexual selves? Emily Nagoski explains as much in Chapter 2 of Come As You Are. Nagoski first blows the mind with the explanation of the dual-control model: we've all got sexual accelerators and sexual brakes. And not all of us are Lamborghinis! But then, there's CONTEXT. Nagoski is a terrific tease and the anticipation for Chapter 3 is PALPABLE!
Mentioned in this Episode:
First Love by Gay Head
Come As You Are by Emily Na...
Hard AND Wet: Come As You Are Chapter 1
Baby gherkin clits and shameful pudendums. Shleimige flüssigkeiten and pillow talk. Hard AND wet. It's all here in Amy & Tommy's discussion of Chapter 1 of Emily Nagoski's groundbreaking book, Come As You Are. Beginning at the beginning, In Chapter 1, Nagoski guides her readers through genital development from the point of conception through adulthood. We all have the same parts, just organized differently. All incredible!
"Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody"
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
Intersex statistics
TED Radio Hour on aging
Chana Bloch, poet
...Body or Soul?: Introduction to Come As You Are
What IS our human-ness? Is it the SOUL? Or is it the BODY? What is it that reminds us that we aren't supercomputers and that AI-generated bots aren't human? Amy & Tommy dig into that question as they open up Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are for in-depth discussion.
Amy confuses the beloved San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen with an artist at the paper, Warren Goodrich. No matter. We just gotta keep on talking.
Mentioned in this episode:
Maybe Happy Ending
Homo Deus by Yuval Noah H...
An AI Threesome: Season 3 Premiere!
Welcome to Season 3 of Work From Bed Friday! Inspired by the feminist podcasting duo Amanda Montei and Tracy Clark-Flory of Dire Straights, Amy & Tommy try an AI experiment—in the name of research, of course. Eye-opening, spicy, fascinating, and ultimately disturbing, they discuss the experience candidly, wondering what effect this technology will have on our future love, sex, and connection as a culture.
Mentioned in this episode:
"My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could" from Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel
"Love in the Time of AI Companions" in t...
Our First Guest! Stasia Savasuk and the Season 2 Finale!
Amy & Tommy welcome their first podcast guest EVER—Stasia Savasuk! Stasia is a somatic coach and the founder of Stasia's Style School and other empowering courses for women. Stasia first introduced Amy to All About Love by bell hooks. Stasia's transformative experience with the book is what inspired Amy to give it to Tommy which ultimately led to the breakthrough in their marriage.
It's like an episode-long Let's Make It a Threesome! Join us for the fun!
Mentioned in this episode:
Stasia Savasuk on Instagram
Stasia's web...
I Love Dick: The Book, The Series
Closing in on the end of Season 2, Amy & Tommy discuss I Love Dick, the 1997 cult feminist classic by Chris Kraus. Lucky for them, the book was made into a fabulous television series in 2016. They discuss both of these works, digging into themes of art, desire, femininity, the patriarchy. The conversation is long and rambling and juicy—following Chris Kraus's lead!
Mentioned in this Episode:
I Love Dick by Chris Kraus
I Love Dick, TV Series
More by Molly Roden Winter
All Fours by Miranda July
Richa...
Angels and AI : All About Love Chapter 13
What would bell hooks say about AI? Can we imagine her angels as AI bots? How does this chapter's discussion of The Divine figure into the overall philosophy of love? Amy & Tommy jump into all the big questions: the Divine, the cosmos, the Tarot. And AI.
This episode discusses the final chapter of All About Love by bell hooks and leads into the completion of Season 2! Stay tuned for a brief discussion of I Love Dick by Chris Kraus AND a special guest on the pod before Season 3 begins on April 24!
Mentioned in this...
Love Heals. So Does Dance: All About Love Chapter 12
Intending to start the episode with a discussion of Esther Perel's AI therapy session, Amy & Tommy soon realize that it's a can of worms that need to be opened at a later date! Instead, they remember a favorite podcast episode and the birth of their crowdsourcing efforts: Does Size Matter? Then, it's on to Chapter 12 of All About Love by bell hooks and a discussion of healing and redemptive love but Amy and Tommy veer off into questions of faith, interdependency, the senses, and of course, hope.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Where Should...
Let's Celebrate! One Year, 50 Episodes, and All About Love Chapter 11
Amy & Tommy celebrate their first "pod-iversary" AND the completion of 50 full length episodes with some bubbly, some memories of their first year podcasting, and later, messages from happy listeners.
But never fear, they have not forgotten about Chapter 11 of All About Love by bell hooks. The chapter is entitled "Loss: Loving into Life and Death" and Amy and Tommy dive right in with their own ideas of how love figures into our relationship with death and also how death affects our loving practice.
They are looking forward to the next 50 episodes!!
Mentioned i...
Finally Free Love: Heated Rivalry Season 1 Finale
Amy & Tommy's scrappy DIY podcast production catches up with them—this was the first episode in which they desperately needed an intern! At least to remind them of last episode's "cornerstones of romantic love." But do not fear! Here are all FOUR cornerstones of romantic love that have emerged over the last two episodes:
Talk talk talking. Keep the channel OPEN.Treat the relationship as a third thing.Authenticity. Get to know yourself and express it as purely as you can.Repair. It's never too late.All this from the final episode of Season 1 of Heated Rivalry (sig...
Where's the Magnificent Romance? All About Love Chapter 10
What are the secrets to enduring romantic love? Amy & Tommy look for guidance from bell hooks in Chapter 10 of All About Love, but find little there. They offer up their own ideas though, and yearn for a long-term study along the lines of Magnificent Sex that survey people who self-identify as having magnificent romance. Great idea, right?
Thank goodness "Heated Rivalry" is showing us some juicy romantic love!
All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks
Magnificent Sex by Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph. D and A. Dana Ménard, Ph.D
Heated Rivalry Episode 5: It's All About LOVE
Amy & Tommy had waaaaay too much to say about Episode 5 of Heated Rivalry. So much, in fact, that they had to make this monster episode into two parts: this episode focuses on Heated Rivalry (typically just the weekly Titillating Tidbit) and their discussion Chapter 10 of All About Love will drop as a separate episode next week. In the meantime, they giddily discuss the romance, the love, the coming out of the penultimate episode of Season 1 of Heated Rivalry.
Heated Rivalry
Gus Kenworthy in the New Yorker
Gus Kenworthy Wikipedia
"Good Medicine" by...
A Tortured Orgasm: Heated Rivalry, Episode 4. Oh yeah, and All About Love Chapter 9
Amy & Tommy's obsession with Ilya & Shane may be overshadowing their deep dive into All About Love by bell hooks. But they push on, overlaying this seminal text over the cultural reality of 2026. After all, love is love. And apparently, sex is sex. And always hot. Except when it's not. Listen to the end for a look into the Olympics and "Crotchgate."
Heated Rivalry, Episode 4
All About Love by bell hooks
Magnificent Sex by Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D. and A. Dana Ménard, Ph.D.
Cafe Jacqueline in San Francisco (oh no...
Deep Thoughts and Hot Hockey: All About Love Chapter 8 and Heated Rivalry Episode 3
Who knew that watching hot hockey romances in Heated Rivalry would be a fitting companion for Chapter 8 of All About Love by bell hooks?? So many parallels! Also, some welcome spice for the deep dives into love and community. Amy & Tommy discuss the cultural primacy of the nuclear family and its erosion of our ability to love. It's not as contradictory as it seems: we place so much importance on finding and keeping romantic love, often at the expense of the community and friendships where we practice, learn, teach, and spread love. Also, Bad Bunny.
Heated Rivalry<...
Love and Greed: All About Love Chapter 7 and Heated Rivalry Episode 2
It's another love sandwich: spicy analysis of the viral hockey lovestory/softporn series, "Heated Rivalry" on one slice, a reader lovenote on the other slice, and the meat? Deep talk about Chapter 7 of All About Love by bell hooks: greed and the ways in which love cannot thrive or even exist in a world driven by greed. Whoa. Amy & Tommy knock the dated examples while being legit blown away by the resonance with our present moment. Listen, enjoy and chime in!
Mentioned in this episode:
Episode 2 of "Heated Rivalry"
Heated Rivalry by Rachel Re...
A Love Ethic: All About Love Chapter 6 and Heated Rivalry Episode 1
As our country navigates this this very difficult moment, the words of bell hooks resonate in their prescience. She understood the road that we were, and are traveling. How do we practice a love ethic as a society? How can we stand strong in a love ethic while disinformation, disregard for basic human rights, and a general lack of love abound?
It helps to talk about it. And also to watch a viral hockey love story. Join us!
Mentioned in this episode:
"Heated Rivalry"
"Heated Wizardry"
New Y...
Spiritual Love and "Heated Rivalry": All About Love Chapter 5
Tommy and Amy kick off Episode 6 of Season 2 with a tease: a quick peek into what they are reading and which books may make an upcoming episode!
After that Titillating Tidbit, they move on to the meat of the episode: Chapter 5 of All About Love by bell hooks. The discussion on spirituality and love take us from the woods of the Pacific Northwest to the Sombrero Galaxy. Come along for the ride!
And then watch the trailer for "Heated Rivalry." A discussion is coming soon!
Mentioned in this Episode:
I...
