WTF is AuDHD?

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In this episode, we share our personal journeys of improving our gut health - and why it’s become something we’re paying a lot more attention to.

This isn’t a dieting episode, we just feel passionate about sharing our personal experiences when it comes to gut health. We explore the gut-brain connection, why gut health plays such a big role in mood, energy, and regulation, and why it can be especially important for AuDHD brains.

We talk about the sm...

Connection and loneliness are two of the most common experiences in the neurodivergent community. So in this episode, we chat to 27-year-old Holly Fowler - founder and CEO of Wable, an app designed to help neurodivergent people connect through friendship, dating, and work. This is not sponsored, it's just a genuine chat between three neurodivergent who want the world to be a better place for everyone.

Holly shares how a spontaneous DM to Michael Theo after watching Love on the Spectrum led to a four-year journey of building Wable from the ground up - despite having...

In this episode, we unpack the concept of internalised ableism - and how it can shape the way neurodivergent people see themselves.

Growing up in a world designed for neurotypical brains often means receiving constant messages that we’re lazy, disorganised, too sensitive, or not trying hard enough. Over time, those messages can become internalised, turning into our own inner voice.

We talk about what ableism actually is, why AuDHD people are vulnerable to internalising it, and the ways it has shown up in our own lives - from pushing through burnout to ho...

Content warning: this episode touches on assault, trauma and manipulation. Listen with care.

Disclaimer: this was recorded before Britney Spears' arrest on March 5th.

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD?, Ellie and Paige dive into a candid conversation about how the world - and the systems around us - often fail neurodivergent people.

Observing the experiences of celebrities like Britney Spears, Billie Eilish, Lewis Capaldi, and Demi Lovato, we lightly explore how fame can amplify the challenges of living with ADHD, autism, or AuDHD - especially when diagnosis comes late...

This week’s episode is a raw, unfiltered check-in where Ellie and Paige sit down (slightly lower in energy than usual), to talk honestly about how they're feeling - burnout, survival mode, and what can happen when your nervous system has been holding it together for too long. We talk financial stress under capitalism, sensory overload, relief instead of achievement and why the world feels especially heavy right now for neurodivergent people.

We also discuss a listener post from our Reddit (and no, the Reddit isn't fixed sorry), about whether AuDHD is a good name for th...

In this episode, we kick things off with a real-life catch-up - burnout, taking back your power, and why stories like figure skater Alysa Liu (Olympic Gold Medalist) matter so much when it comes to ADHD and redefining success. We also get into another cracking poll about how you eat your meals - riveting content, we know! Plus Ellie shares something she’s been grappling with this week and what she wishes she’d known earlier.

In the second half, we’re joined by ADHD coach Marium to unpack what ADHD coaching actually looks like in practi...

This episode is split into two parts - the first part is banter between Paige and Ellie. We chat about recent hacks and learnings we've had, we discuss the differences we're noticing in our biometrics (recorded by our Oura rings) and we also clarify why you may not have been let into our Reddit yet...

Then we learn - WTF is ADHD coaching? And how is it different from therapy or life coaching? We’re joined by ADHD coach Marium (from ADHD Empowered), who shares how she moved from corporate life and international teaching into specialised AD...

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicidal thoughts, emotional manipulation / boundaries and trauma. Please listen with care.

In part two of our conversation with Jen, we go deeper into the cost of living in survival mode for almost five decades - and what happens when the body and brain can no longer keep up.

Jen shares how perimenopause intersected with her AuDHD and long-term burnout, amplifying symptoms and stripping away coping mechanisms that had held her together for years. We unpack early warning signs of burnout and perimenopause that are often missed...

In part one of our conversation with Jen @autistic_connections, we get chatting about the reality of being a late diagnosed AuDHD women, who also hit burnout in conjunction with perimenopause (poor Jen!).

Jen shares her journey to diagnosis, how she was completely missed as a child, and then given incorrect diagnoses throughout her 20s, and the juxtaposition of being 'smart' but feeling 'dumb'. Jen talks about struggling with “basic” daily tasks, yet being capable of getting First Class Honours at University, before her nervous system hit breaking point, and how autistic burnout was the catalyst for...

In this episode, we unpack decision fatigue and decision paralysis - why even simple choices can feel overwhelming for AuDHD brains. We explore how years of masking disconnect us from our instincts, leaving us frozen, second-guessing everything, and afraid to choose “wrong.” We share how paralysis has shown up in our own lives, and what’s actually helped. Paige also walks through her framework for rebuilding your life from the ground up when everything feels too hard to start.

Book a 1:1 session with Ellie! ellieonthetelly.com - introductory rate of $30USD valid until Jan 31 2026.

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We’re back for 2026! And we're starting off with an AuDHD debrief - funny holiday stories and what Ellie and Paige would do differently next holiday season. We also look ahead to what’s coming this year for WTF is AuDHD? - what we’re excited about, what we’re learning, and how we want to keep growing alongside this community.

Plus, we dive into a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about Autistic Barbie - including your listener contributions. We discuss what it gets right, what feels complicated, and why seeing neurodivergent experiences reflected can be powerful. This also lea...

Sarah (social worker, ADHD, OCD, PMDD and autistic) is back for more! In this episode we shift into language, identity, and the inner world of neurodivergence. Sarah reflects on her childhood as an undiagnosed AuDHDer, the anxiety that masked her ADHD, and elaborates on the different ways boys vs girls are treated.

We explore dialectical thinking - the simple but powerful practice of using “and” instead of “but” - and why it’s especially transformative for neurodivergent people whose needs often conflict. Sarah also shares how her lived experience shapes her work in perinatal social work, and why fi...

We're super excited to be joined by neurodivergent parent and social worker Sarah (@neurodialectical on Instagram), who shares how becoming a parent was the catalyst for her diagnoses - including autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and PMDD.

We talk candidly about the sensory reality of parenting when your needs directly clash with your child’s, the rage and grief no one prepares you for, and why planning life around hormonal cycles can be helpful (if you can). Sarah also shares how she’s unlearning traditional parenting norms, prioritising autonomy over compliance, and raising her son in ways that...

In this episode, Ellie's running on lack of sleep thanks to the Formula One race overnight, so we're chatting about sleep! We dig into why sleep is such a challenge for neurodivergent brains - from revenge bedtime procrastination to sensory overload to busy brains and chronic sleep debt. We share our own experiences and how lack of rest affects everything from emotion regulation to basic functioning.

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Interested in a 1:1 session with Ellie in 2026? Register your interest ellieonthetelly.com

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Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care.

In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually feeling? And why does setting even the smallest boundary feel like we’re letting someone down?

We chat about the link between neurodivergence and people pleasing, how RS...

This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training.

We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how PTs can better support neurodivergent clients. Bayley also breaks down how he trains people with compassion, flexibility and zero shame.

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by exercise, disconnected from your...

In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out.

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It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it.

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For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and have also helped with our general motivation!

Vote for us at the NZ Podcast Awards for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.

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Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful and also reflect on some recent listener Reddit posts about perimenopause.

VOTE FOR US (if you want) at the NZ PODCAST AWARDS for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.

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What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her.

Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our podcast for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast Awards, you can do that here.

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The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in hindsight. We talk about imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and how Bree channels her ADHD energy into sport and humour. Plus, Bree will be back next week for...

Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answer some more of your listener questions.

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In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their lives. It’s a candid and vulnerable look at what it means for Ellie and Sam to love and live as an ND couple, in the hopes of helping others feel seen when it comes to the...

In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young social media star, why it helped him process his emotions pre-diagnosis and he opens up about struggling with emotional regulation.

Next week we’ll chat with Sa...

Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener (Autism Quotient) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and disuss why lived experience needs to be an important part of neurodevelopmental assessments.

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If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent years masking, you've got trauma or other diagnoses. There are so many limitations to these screeners, and we hope this episode gives you more confidence in your interpretation of them.

Meet our ADHD Dad, Grant! He was born in the 60s - in a generation that barely knew anything about neurodivergence. Dad went through school, work, parenting, literally everything without a diagnosis until much later in life, and unfortunately his parents had passed away before he was diagnosed. In this episode, Grant shares what it’s like to piece together your story backwards, how late diagnosis changed the way he sees himself, what it's like getting ADHD coaching and we discuss the generational differences in awareness and stigma. He also reflects on some hilarious stories from his childhood (that no...

In this episode, we explore Pathological Demand Avoidance (more compassionately known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - a profile most often linked with autism that goes far beyond being just being “stubborn.” We break down what PDA is, our understanding of it and how it's appeared in our life, and why everyday requests can feel overwhelming or even threatening - even if the demand is from within your own mind. We share personal stories of when demands have triggered resistance (sometimes without us even realising why), and unpack the differences between ADHD task resistance and PDA driven task resistance.

In this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and other gastrointestinal / autoimmune issues we've experienced, using hindsight to recognise it may have all been linked to our autism and ADHD (stress!). We start exploring the connection between the brain and the gut, including how our stomach microbiome impacts our brain. We dive into emerging research linking neurodivergence with physical health and common correlations. This episode isn’t medical advice, but more a conversation to spark curiosity. We encourage you to do your own research but we just wanted to remind you that yo...

Transitions can be some of the hardest moments for people with ADHD, autism, or both - even when we’re looking forward to what’s next. Paige and Ellie have had a few ephiphanies recently about how transitions have affected them throughout their life. In this episode, we explore why shifting from one activity, environment, or phase of life can feel so dysregulating, and how neurodivergent inertia plays into it. We unpack our own personal struggless and offer tips for supporting yourself and your kids through transitions.

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Dr Khurram Sadiq is back for part two where we dig into common misdiagnoses, masking, family dynamics, and how to truly identify AuDHD traits. We also touch on workplace accommodations, co-occurring conditions like OCD and PMDD, and how to manage burnout and executive dysfunction (especially when medication isn’t accessible or effective). Dr Sadiq offers grounded advice and hope to anyone navigating late diagnosis, uncertainty, or feeling "too much" for the world.

Win a signed copy of Dr Khurram Sadiq's new book - Explaining AuDHD! Head over to our Instagram @wtfisaudhdpodcast to enter.

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Dr Khurram Sadiq - renowned psychiatrist and AuDHDer - joins us to help explain AuDHD. In this powerful first half of our conversation, we unpack his own diagnostic journey, what it means to live between ADHD and autism, and why this combination deserves more recognition. We explore how gender, culture, and systemic pressures influence diagnosis, and why many of us are missed or misunderstood for decades. Dr Sadiq also shares his perspective on whether ADHD and autism exist on a shared spectrum - and how we can begin to differentiate between similar traits. Part two of our chat is...

This week, we’re diving into a big one: having children as an AuDHD adult. Neither of us are parents (yet - or possibly ever), so this is not a how-to, but an open conversation about the thoughts, fears, and feelings we have around parenting as neurodivergent people.

We speak honestly about the differences in our perspectives (Paige and Ellie don’t feel the same way!), and share the thoughts and experiences sent in by our community - from those who are already parenting with AuDHD, to those who’ve chosen not to, and everything in between...

We're diving into what it’s really like navigating work with AuDHD. We chat about our personal job histories - the burnout, the boredom, the passion, and the pivots - and why sticking to one career path can feel impossible. If you’ve ever loved and hated your job at the same time, or blamed yourself for not being “cut out” for work, this one’s for you. You’re not lazy - you’re likely unsupported. We also remind you (and ourselves) to not lose self-compassion - it's so important to not turn on yourself!

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Why is AuDHD so hard to manage and treat? In this episode, we explore lived contradictions of having both ADHD and autism - where one part of your brain craves routine and the other thrives on chaos, often resulting in burnout. We share real-life examples from ourselves and you - our listeners! We unpack why treatments often fall short, and highlight how young the concept of AuDHD really is - including in clinical settings.

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In this episode, we’re excited to be joined by Mike Cochrane (@nzpsychologyclinic), a Clinical Psychologist and fellow AuDHDer who specialises in Autistic, ADHD and AuDHD assessments. We had an insightful and validating chat about life with an AuDHD brain.

Together, we unpack:

Autism or trauma - or both? In today’s episode, we (very basically) unpack the complex relationship between Complex PTSD (CPTSD) and autism. We explore the ways the two can look similar, why autistic people are more likely to experience trauma, and why it’s so important to approach self-identification with care and curiosity. We reflect on personal experiences, share research insights, and offer guidance for anyone navigating these diagnoses.

With so many of you finding value in our conversations, we thought it was important to touch on this point. This episode only scrapes the top leve...

If you’re constantly exhausted no matter how much you feel like you're resting, it might autistic, ADHD or AuDHD burnout (and yes, it's different from traditional 'burnout'). Our neurodivergent brains are different and therefore the causes and treatment for burnout need to be neurodiversity affirming. We unpack the causes of ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD burnout, what we've experienced, how it can be confused for depression and why traditional therapy may not work for you. Below are some resources we reference in the episode - as always, please continue to do your own research!

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Getting an ADHD or autism diagnosis - especially later in life - can bring an avalanche of emotions: relief, validation, anger, grief, confusion, and imposter syndrome. In today’s episode, we talk about the messy, beautiful, and often overwhelming feelings that come before and after a diagnosis.

We share real community stories and our own experiences of trying to make sense of this new identity, processing the past, navigating conversations with family, and wrestling with the fear of not being believed - especially when autism (in particular) is still so misunderstood.

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