Helping Couples Heal Podcast

In this episode, Marnie explores a painful reality of healing after betrayal: the relationship you thought you had before discovery no longer exists. While it is natural to long for the "before" and wish things could return to the way they were, holding on to that version of the relationship can sometimes keep you stuck in grief and prevent you from moving forward.

Marnie discusses why healing requires grieving the loss of the relationship you believed you had, accepting the reality of what has happened, and creating space for something new to emerge. She explores the role...

On this special episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie and Maddie are joined by Ally, Amy, and Shauna, who attended our first Empowered at Sea retreat. Together, they share honest reflections about what it was like to step away from daily responsibilities, prioritize their own healing, and spend a week surrounded by women who understand the pain of betrayal trauma.

The conversation explores the unique experience of healing in community, the power of being seen and understood, and the relief of no longer carrying the weight of betrayal alone. They discuss the connections they formed...

In this episode, Marnie speaks with Candice Christiansen about navigating betrayal trauma through the lens of neuro-difference, an incredibly important topic we have not focused on before on the Helping Couples Heal Podcast. Together, they explore why traditional recovery models may not always meet the needs of individuals and couples navigating autism, ADHD, trauma, and betrayal.

Candice shares both her personal story and more than two decades of clinical experience supporting neuro-different adults and couples. Together, she and Marnie explore how betrayal trauma can impact neuro-different nervous systems, why a neuro-affirming approach can be an important part...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Ned Fulmer, YouTuber, producer, content creator, and online personality, for a deeply honest conversation about the consequences of betrayal, what he has come to understand about its impact on his wife Ariel, and the long road of accountability and healing that follows.

While much of Ned’s story became publicly known through the discovery of his affair, this conversation moves beyond the headlines and into the emotional reality of what came after. Ned reflects on the collapse of his private and pu...

In this episode, Marnie talks with Patty, a female betrayer, and Judith Nisenson, a betrayal trauma coach, to confront the often-ignored reality that women betray too. They dive deep into the unique patterns of female betrayal, the emotional drivers behind it, and the specific challenges women face when seeking recovery in a field traditionally focused on male betrayers.

The conversation explores:

In this episode, Marnie welcomes back her friend and longtime collaborator, Gemini Adams, a renowned somatic practitioner. Together, they explore a missing piece of the healing journey that many couples overlook: the body. While traditional talk therapy is vital, Marnie and Gemini discuss why cognitive understanding often isn’t enough to move couples out of the painful, repetitive cycles of betrayal trauma.

Gemini shares her personal journey from living with the effects of complex PTSD and chronic conflict avoidance to finding what she calls "conflict confidence." They dive deep into the science of the nervous system, explaining wh...

In this landmark 100th episode of Helping Couples Heal, we take a moment to pause and reflect on the journey that brought us here. Healing from betrayal is often a lonely, exhausting path, but for 100 conversations, we have walked it together. What started as a mission to bring clarity to the chaos of betrayal trauma has grown into a global community of resilient survivors and recovering couples. To celebrate our 100th episode, we’re going back to the "Why."

Join us as we revisit the original mission that sparked this podcast: to provide a lifeline for those dr...

In December, I released a podcast called The Ten Core Wounds of Betrayal, which explored the deep and lasting wounds experienced by betrayed partners. In this follow-up episode, we turn toward the other side of the rupture - the often unseen and rarely discussed wounds carried by those who do the betraying.

This conversation is not about justifying or minimizing betrayal. Instead, it’s about understanding the internal landscape that often exists beneath betraying behavior. Drawing from clinical insight and relational patterns, this episode explores ten core wounds commonly experienced by people who betray - wounds that ca...

In this episode, Marnie sits down with Scott and Laura, a couple who courageously share their journey of healing after betrayal. What followed Scott’s infidelity was not a quick fix or a straight path forward, but years marked by pain, rupture, and a slow, non-linear process of rebuilding trust and connection.

Together, Scott and Laura reflect on the early days after discovery - when fear, confusion, and disconnection felt overwhelming - and the hard truths they had to face along the way. Laura speaks openly about her struggle with boundaries and the painful realization that she ha...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, a therapist, trauma survivor, and author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be. They explore a topic that is often misunderstood and shamed: the intense and very normal anger experienced by betrayed partners after betrayal.

For too long, the clinical field has labeled this anger as “vengeful” or “unforgiving.” Crystal helps us flip that narrative, showing why anger is a natural, healthy response to the profound injustice of betrayal and an important part of the heali...

In this deeply moving episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie is joined by four courageous women (Sabra, Ally, Liz, and Rachel) who vulnerably share their personal experiences navigating the aftermath of betrayal. Together, they explore a critical but often overlooked aspect of the healing journey: the complex role of friends and family.

The group discusses the universal need for external support and the painful reality that loved ones often don't know what to say or how to show up effectively. From the impulse to retreat and isolate to the trauma of being judged by those...

When betrayal enters a relationship, it doesn’t just break trust - it fractures a person’s sense of self, safety, and connection. In this episode, we explore the ten core wounds that betrayed partners often experience, each one carrying its own story and its own emotional truth:

In this episode, Marnie sits down with two of her colleagues from Northern California, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein to talk about Finding The Way Through, their new workbook designed to integrate sobriety, recovery, and betrayed partner sensitivity into the healing process.

Purchase the workbook Finding the Way Through: A Workbook for Sex and Pornography Addiction here!

Click here to join The Healing Room.

Want to connect? Click here to book your free 15-minute call.

In what was originally intended to be a structured discussion on “The Ten Steps to Constructing the Secret Sexual Basement,” this episode took an unexpected and deeply personal turn. Instead, I’m joined by Dr. Omar Minwalla for a raw, unfiltered conversation that traces the arc of our individual and shared professional journeys.

What unfolds is a rare, intimate glimpse into the foundation of a long-standing friendship - one built on mutual respect, hard truths, and a shared commitment to integrity, even when it’s uncomfortable or controversial. We talk openly about what it means to stay committe...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie explores the delicate balance of grief and hope in couples working to heal after betrayal. She shares why grief must be honored - not rushed, bypassed, or minimized - and how acknowledging the depth of loss is an essential step toward authentic healing. At the same time, Marnie reminds us that grief does not have to define your whole story. By integrating grief into the narrative of your relationship, you create space for resilience, growth, and new possibilities. This episode offers a compassionate invitation to couples: you can carry...

In this continuation of our conversation with Chandler Rogers, we dive deeper into his journey of recovery from pornography addiction and the ongoing challenges of healing within his marriage. Chandler shares honestly about what it means to keep showing up in the work of recovery—not just for himself, but for his relationship—and how hope can grow even in the midst of setbacks. 

We also explore Chandler’s powerful decision to create Relay, an app designed to fill in the gaps he saw in traditional recovery support. Relay was born out of his own experience and the rec...

In this follow-up conversation with therapist and author Jon Lee, we continue our deep dive into emotional regression and its profound impact on couples recovering from betrayal. Building on the foundation we laid in Part 1, Jon and I explore how regression shows up in relationships—when intense pain, fear, or shame pulls partners back into younger emotional states that can feel overwhelming and destabilizing.

We discuss the ways regression complicates communication, trust-building, and repair, and how it can create cycles of disconnection even when both partners desperately want to heal. Jon offers clinical insight and compassionate strategies fo...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Chandler Rogers, a recovering porn addict and the founder of Relay, a group-based recovery app designed to support those on their healing journey. Chandler shares his personal story of seeking help for his addiction long before it was discovered—a rare and powerful experience that sheds light on the strength it takes to face the truth head-on.

He opens up about the vulnerability it required to be honest with his now-wife early in their relationship, the ups and downs of recovery, and the reality th...

In this episode, Marnie unpacks a critical truth in the betrayal recovery process: sexual sobriety is not the same as relational healing. In other words, just because the acting out has stopped doesn’t mean the relationship is safe or healing. In fact, ongoing emotional / integrity abuse can re-traumatize a betrayed partner. 

Marnie explores why emotional sobriety is just as essential as sexual sobriety, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and connection after betrayal. A betrayed partner needs emotional safety, not just behavioral changes. Trust isn’t rebuilt by abstinence — it’s rebuilt b...

In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, Marnie sits down with renowned author and therapist John Lee, whose classic book Growing Yourself Back Up has helped thousands understand the profound impact of emotional regression on adult relationships. 

Together, we explore what emotional regression is and how it silently shapes our reactions, the difference between responding as an empowered adult vs. a wounded child, and how identifying your own triggers and patterns of regression can create healthier relationships.

We introduce practical tools for recognizing when you’ve been “emotionally hijacked” and how to avoid relational ruptures in those m...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with betrayal trauma coach and actress Maddie Corman to explore the profound power of community in the healing journey. Maddie opens up about the importance of not going through pain alone, and how finding connection with others can be a lifeline during life’s most difficult moments. We also discuss the Empowered at Sea retreat, a transformative experience designed to support, uplift, empower, and inspire. Join us for a heartfelt conversation about resilience, support, and the courage to heal together.

Learn more about Empowered...

In this deeply honest and compassionate episode, Betrayal Trauma Coach, Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Adam Nisenson shares his personal journey through the heartbreak of being betrayed by his now ex-wife—and how that experience transformed both his life and his work. Now the founder of betrayalshrink.com, Adam offers vital support and resources for men navigating the aftermath of infidelity. We explore the raw realities of male betrayal trauma, the often-overlooked emotional toll it takes, and how men can begin to reclaim their sense of self and safety. Adam also discusses his powerful book, A Man’s Gu...

In this episode, Marnie, Ilyse, and Luke sit down to share an inside look at Bridge to Connection—Helping Couples Heal’s 5-week online group coaching program designed specifically for couples navigating the painful aftermath of betrayal. 

Together, they explore how couples can benefit from ongoing structure, a slower pace than a workshop, and the opportunity to process what they’re learning between sessions. 

They also emphasize how community is key; being with other couples who truly get it—is not only comforting, but vital to the healing process.

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In this episode, Marnie, Ilyse, and Luke sit down to share an inside look at Bridge to Connection—Helping Couples Heal’s 5-week online group coaching program designed specifically for couples navigating the painful aftermath of betrayal. 

Together, they explore how couples can benefit from ongoing structure, a slower pace than a workshop, and the opportunity to process what they’re learning between sessions. 

They also emphasize how community is key; being with other couples who truly get it—is not only comforting, but vital to the healing process.

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In this honest and deeply personal conversation, actor, writer, director, songwriter, and musician Josh Radnor opens up about his journey away from pornography and alcohol, and the deeper realizations that led him there. Together, we explore the often-overlooked harms of porn — how it distorts intimacy, disconnects men from their emotional selves, and shapes the way boys grow into men. Josh reflects on the cultural messages that normalize these habits, the pain they often mask, and the liberation he found in stepping away. This episode is a call to curiosity, compassion, and courageous self-inquiry — for anyone questioning what true connection real...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks to Joanna (marriage and family therapist) and Matthew (relationship coach) Raabsmith about their story of betrayal and recovery. Joanna and Matthew share how hard work, fierce commitment and the principles outlined in their book “The Intimacy Pyramid” created the foundation necessary for healing their marriage and relational transformation.

Buy their book here: https://www.amazon.com/Building-True-Intimacy-Creating-connection/dp/B0C2RX95WN

Together, they lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team.

We’re re-releasing a very meaningful podcast episodes for all the women who missed it the first time—or haven’t yet heard about the EmpowerHer Program.

The transformations we’re witnessing inside this group coaching program are breathtaking.

It’s the kind of healing and reclamation we wish for every woman—but especially for those who’ve walked the painful, disorienting road of betrayal.

In this episode, Marnie and Ilyse share the story behind the creation of EmpowerHer—a program born from the need to support...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie talks with Deb Kaplan, licensed therapist, CSAT and former Wall Street career woman, about money - a topic often dismissed or neglected entirely when helping couples heal from the traumatic impact of betrayal. In this rich (no pun intended) conversation, Marnie and Deb explore the financial impacts of betrayal and discuss the process of building trust around money and creating emotional and financial intimacy.

Debra Kaplan Books on Money:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18892949-for-love-and-money-exploring-sexual-financial-betrayal-in-relationship

https://www.goodreads.com...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Gary Katz, LCSW and CSAT about the complex dynamics surrounding infidelity, pornography and betrayal that impact sexuality and intimacy. If you are struggling with sexual and intimacy-related issues after betrayal, including desire, safety, rejection and arousal, this episode will offer clarity and compassion and and opportunity to begin to explore the complexity of sexual and relational healing.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal, Marnie talks to Maddie Corman again about her journey through a public discovery, grief and betrayal trauma and her powerful film (just released on HBO), Accidentally Brave. In this conversation, Maddie shares more about life, healing and recovery where the film left off including the gifts and lessons she learned along the way. With honesty and humor, Maddie brings us with her as she continues to bring hope to those still in the depths of despair.

Marnie and Maddie also announce their first professional collaboration, a women's empowe...

In this intimate and powerful episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Brett Rankin, son of HCH Betrayal Trauma Coaches Susan and Scott Rankin, who vulnerably and courageously shared their story of relational betrayal on the podcast in August of 2024. In this candid conversation, Brett reflects for the first time publicly on his experience navigating life after the discovery of his father’s addiction when he was 18 years old. He opens up about the emotional impacts of betrayal on himself, his role in supporting his younger sister and and his relationship with both of his parents th...

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Dr. Kevin Skinner about gaslighting and abuse in the context of betrayal trauma. Together, they explore how psychological abuse and gaslighting impacts betrayed partners and creates a significant barrier to relational healing and emotional intimacy. While an incredibly painful topic that can also trigger immense shame and a host of other difficult emotions, turning towards the reality of abuse is the only way to heal.

In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie Breecker speaks with Jaclyn Schwartz, licensed therapist and betrayal trauma expert , to discuss the transformative impact of workshops for couples navigating betrayal.

They explore the importance of hearing the same expert education and guidance together, the power of connecting with other couples facing similar challenges, and why early intervention is crucial to prevent further trauma caused by well-meaning but ill-informed professionals.

Marnie and Jaclyn are hosting the next Helping Couples Heal 2-Day Workshop on January 30-31, 2025, where couples will gain a shared understanding of betrayal’s impact an...

In this episode, Mamie and Ilyse share the story behind the creation of the EmpowerHer course and the need for this for women staying in the relationship, leaving the relationship or are unsure and haven't made that decision yet. They discuss how the aftermath of betrayal throws women into a whirlwind of unfamiliar world of addiction, Infidelity, and recovery. This often leaves them feeling shattered, lost, and spending years of their lives navigating a world they never asked to be in.

The EmpowerHer program shifts the focus Inward, creating a new conversation; one that prioritizes self-reconnection. It's...

This week I decided to re-release an old podcast episode from 2019 when me and Duane first interviewed Dr. Omar Minwalla. Since the time of this interview, Dr. Minwalla has expanded his model to include terms such as compulsive entitled sexuality and integrity abuse and I decided to re-introduce this initial interview to provide some context and understanding of where we are now and how we got here. The model referred to in this episode is an integral part of the Helping Couples Heal poly-theoretical approach to treating betrayal trauma.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Ilyse dive into the profound impact betrayal has on self-trust, exploring how infidelity and sex addiction can leave betrayed partners questioning their intuition, worth, and decision-making abilities. Together, they unpack the ways betrayal damages one’s ability to trust oneself and share actionable steps towards empowerment and self-trust. With empathy and expertise, they offer a compassionate guide to help listeners reconnect with their inner strength, rebuild confidence, and find their way back to themselves. Whether you’re navigating betrayal personally or supporting someone who is, this episode provides inva...

This week I decided to re-release an episode from April 2023 when Duane and I interviewed Ted Bunch, the COO and co-Founder of A Call to Men.

Recently Helping Couples Heal has been focusing a great deal of attention on the topic of male socialization and male sexual entitlement. This interview with Ted provides an opportunity to further the conversation and facilitate a deep dive into the unhealthy psychology that fuels sex addiction and betrayal.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the importance of consistency in healing from betrayal. Marnie candidly and directly guides both betrayed partners and betrayers to develop an understanding of what consistently means in the context of betrayal and how the role consistently plays in helping couples heal.  

In our last episode, Marnie talked about how to move forward after betrayal with a partner who refuses to provide safety, reassurance, consistency and active participation in the healing process. In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Ilyse continue the conversation, this time turning the focus to the betraying partner. Just as the betrayed partner has important life altering decisions to make, so does the person who caused the relational destruction. These decisions must be navigated in the spirit of a fierce commitment to truth and reality, both elements which were non-existent for the betrayed partne...

The Unchangeable Truth: We Can't Change Others

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the pain and confusion that arises for couples when one partner is not doing the work to heal. She gently and compassionately addresses the hard truth that nobody can force another person to do recovery work, demonstrate empathy, tell the truth, change and/or heal. Using the metaphor of a bridge, we will explore the frustration and grief that accompanies the healing process, specifically when one partner isn't willing or able to cross the bridge together.