Clothing and Identity: What Are Our Clothes Saying About Us?

Why do we wear what we wear and what do our clothes reveal about who we are?

In this episode of How to Have a Bloody Good Conversation, Sarah Wright and Dr Victoria Stakelum talk to semiotician and social psychologist Dr Rachel Lawes about the psychology of fashion, clothing and social class, and the unwritten dress codes that influence how others see us.

From a wealthy Italian gentleman’s objection to a yellow or orange handbag to the debate over hoodies and trainers at...

How do you deal with a bad boss when they're volatile, anxious, controlling, micromanaging or constantly undermining you?

In this episode of How to Have a Bloody Good Conversation, Sarah Wright and Dr Victoria Stakelam tackle the difficult workplace conversations many of us would rather avoid: what to do when your boss's behaviour is affecting your confidence, your team and your ability to do your job.

They answer specific listener questions by exploring three common difficult-boss scenarios: the emotionally volatile boss who leaves everyone walking on eggshells; the fearful or anxious boss who becomes controlling...

How To Talk To Your Pets (And Other Family Members)

Doctor Dolittle dreamed of talking to animals and having them talk back. It was a fantastical notion. Except that some pet owners are already living it. Today!

Pet owners, like Nina Leipold and her talking cat, Flounder.

This very clever kitty uses over 120 words on a soundboard, has a favourite film she watches on repeat, a toy mouse with his own opinion button, and a bravery tutu she asks for before thunderstorms. She has also diagnosed her own illness, reminded her owner to...

⚠️ This episode contains adult content and is intended for mature audiences.

A third of adults have never once talked to their partner about sex. Not once. Is that because we've never been taught HOW to have THAT conversation?

We think so, and it's one of the conversations we struggle with too.

That being a good enough reason to tackle this subject aside, here's another reason: the cost of not talking about it isn't just bad sex, it's needs quietly going unmet, resentment slowly building, and eventually someone deciding they'd rather find what...

Before you said a single word today, someone had already formed an opinion about your competence, your status, and whether you could be trusted. We've all been told never to judge a book by its cover, and yet researchers tell us we do it anyway, in a fraction of a second, before a handshake, before a hello.

So what exactly are your clothes saying? And more importantly, is it what you intend?

In this episode, Sarah Wright and Dr Victoria Stakelum are joined by Stacie Baillie - an ICF-trained coach, leadership advisor, image consultant, certified...

Do you find talking to strangers a challenge?

You're not alone.

Researchers at the University of Chicago put commuters on trains and buses and asked some of them to strike up a conversation with the stranger next to them. The ones who did reported significantly happier journeys, every single time. And yet when they asked a separate group beforehand whether they’d enjoy it, almost everyone said no. They predicted feeling awkward or unwanted. They were wrong, but the fear was so convincing, they believed it anyway.

And yet, for the sake of yo...

The Conversation You're Having At 3Am (And How To Change It)

You know the one. It starts the moment you wake up at 3am, or maybe it’s the reason you woke up in the first place. Not good enough. Not clever enough. Not doing enough. Most of us are having a conversation with ourselves that we would never tolerate from another person. And it’s doing real damage: to our confidence, our relationships, and for many of us, our sleep.

In this episode, hosts, Sarah Wright and psychologist Dr Victoria Stakelum, explore why...

What if the most important conversation you'll ever have isn't with your boss, your partner, or your best friend but with yourself?

In this episode, Sarah Wright and Dr. Victoria Stakelum explore the inner dialogue that shapes everything: your confidence, your decisions, your relationships, and your ability to have difficult conversations.

We unpack where your inner critic comes from (spoiler: it was formed in childhood, and it thinks it's helping), how to tell the difference between fear-based chatter and genuine gut instinct, and what to do when that voice in your head is...

Why Conversations Feel So Hard Right Now: A Q&A on Emotions, Miscommunication, and Slowing Down

In this follow-up Q&A, communications consultant Sarah Wright and psychologist and mindset coach Dr Victoria Stakelum answer listener questions sparked by the episode “Why do conversations feel so hard right now?” Together, they explore why modern digital life speeds up our brains, how emotions and subconscious triggers derail what we’re trying to say, and what to do when miscommunication happens. You’ll hear practical tools for slowing down in high-stakes moments, regulating your nervous system, improving clarity, and bringing “clean ener...

Dating 101: How To Chat Up A Romantic Partner

If you're dating in 2026 and wondering how to start a conversation, avoid dating fatigue, and actually find someone you're compatible with, this episode is for you.

Sarah Wright and Dr Victoria Stakelum are joined by Lydia Hoey, matchmaking director at Maclynn International and a science-based dating coach, to talk about how modern dating is changing - including the slightly alarming rise of AI companionship (72% of American teenagers have now interacted with an AI companion, and Meta is building chatbots to fill the ‘romantic gap’) - and what stil...

Have you noticed that conversations feel more rushed, reactive and emotionally loaded than ever before?

It’s not just you. That’s why, in this episode, we (that’s communications consultant, Sarah Wright, and psychologist and mindset coach, Dr Victoria Stakelum) explore the real reasons communication has become so challenging: from the speed of modern life to nervous system overload, digital disconnection, and the pressure to respond instantly.

In this episode, we cover:

Master the art of conversation, and you’ll transform your life.

From dating to doing business, negotiating a pay rise to haggling over bedtimes, conversations shape everything: your career, your connections, your confidence. But while we all learned to talk as toddlers, no one really taught us how to have good conversations, the kind where you feel heard, understood, and genuinely connected.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

…this podcast is for you.

Why this podcast matters now

We’re living in a...

What if storytelling could help you navigate the hardest conversations of your life?

In this episode, we're joined by Chris Adriaanse, author of To The Heart of Difficult Conversations - a beautifully poignant anthology co-created with Berwick Literary Festival, Create Berwick, and students at Berwick Academy in Northumberland.

Inspired by an ancient border-side plaque commemorating uneasy meetings between English and Scottish monarchs, this remarkable collection blends local history, folklore, and raw teenage insight on what it means to tackle tough talks.

From chemistry lab to storytelling stage, Chris has discovered something profound about...

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How do you start a conversation with someone from a different race, culture, or background without saying the wrong thing? It's a question that paralyses many of us in our increasingly diverse workplaces, schools, and communities. We're so afraid of offending that we often avoid meaningful connections entirely.

In this episode, we're joined by Claudia McKenzie, General Manager of Park's Edge Bar and Kitchen in South London and former PR executive, who brings both personal experience and practical wisdom to one of our most challenging social dynamics.

...

How do you start a conversation with someone from a different race, culture, or background without saying the wrong thing? It's a question that paralyses many of us in our increasingly diverse workplaces, schools, and communities. We're so afraid of offending that we often avoid meaningful connections entirely.

In this episode, we're joined by Claudia McKenzie, General Manager of Park's Edge Bar and Kitchen in South London and former PR executive, who brings both personal experience and practical wisdom to one of our most challenging social dynamics.

Claudia's story spans generations - from her parents...

Death is the one certainty we all share, yet most of us are terrible at talking about it. Whether it's supporting a grieving friend, having end-of-life conversations with family, or processing our own mortality, we stumble through these moments with stock phrases and uncomfortable silences.

In this episode, we're joined by Kate Nolan-Burgess, a grief and identity coach who helps people navigate the many forms grief can take - from bereavement to major life transitions. Kate brings a unique cultural perspective, having grown up in Poland, where death felt woven into everyday life, before moving to the...

Ever wished you could think faster in meetings, recover gracefully after a misstep, or connect more confidently in tough conversations? Turns out, stand-up comedy might be your secret weapon.

In this episode, we’re joined by Chris Head – comedy director, author, and speaking coach – to explore what stand-up comedians know about human connection, timing, and bouncing back from awkwardness that the rest of us can use in real life.

We dive into powerful tools from the world of stand-up comedy — including recovery lines, comic framing, and self-deprecation — and how they can be applied to real-life scenarios...

What do you do when the work that once lit you up now leaves you cold? If you're in midlife or a career cul-de-sac and wondering what next, this episode is for you. Midlife Career Change Coach, Josh Peck, joins us to unpack the real conversations that help people move from stuck to clear, and from disempowered to energised. His methods help bring you and your career back into alignment.

In this illuminating conversation, we talk about fear, identity, money, confidence, and how to ask for what you want - even when you're not sure where to...

What do negotiating with kidnappers and talking to your teenager have in common?

Everything!

In this episode, we sit down with Scott Walker, one of the world’s most experienced kidnap-for-ransom and crisis negotiators, to explore what high-stakes hostage negotiation can teach us about everyday conversations. With over 300 successful cases under his belt, Scott now trains leaders at Apple, Amazon, the UN, and beyond.

Whether you're negotiating a deal, a deadline, or dinner, Scott’s wisdom will help you regulate better, listen smarter, and get more of what matters — without a fight.

We s...

Turn Missteps into Meaningful Conversations with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

We all hate being wrong. It feels uncomfortable, sometimes even threatening. But what if being wrong wasn’t something to fear but an opportunity for connection, learning, and deeper conversations?

In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and NLP Master Coach, joins us again to unpack the complexity of wrongness - why it triggers such strong emotions, how societal norms shape our ideas of right and wrong, and what to do when we (inevitably) get something wrong.

In this episode, we explore:

How to Read the Room and Communicate Better at Work with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

Ever wish you could read minds in meetings or knew what someone else was thinking? While telepathy might be out of reach, understanding emotions, body language, and unspoken cues is a skill you can develop - and it can completely transform your workplace interactions.

In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and subconscious mind specialist, reveals the science of mind reading - or rather, how to truly read the room, anticipate responses, and adapt your communication for better results.

How Listening Can Transform Your Conversations with Jessica Ball

We like to think we’re good listeners—but are we really? Too often, we drift in and out of conversations, half-hearing what’s being said while planning what to say next. So how do we shift from passive hearing to deep, intentional listening - the kind that transforms relationships, builds trust, and even changes lives?

In this episode, we’re joined again by Jessica Ball, a meetings facilitator who knows that listening is more than just hearing words—it’s about creating connection.

Together we...

How to Speak Up and Be Heard in Any Group with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

Ever felt silenced in a meeting, outnumbered in a discussion, or too intimidated to challenge the status quo? You’re not alone. Groupthink is a deeply ingrained survival instinct - we’re wired to stick with the herd, even when we disagree. But what if staying silent means the wrong decision gets made?

In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and NLP Master Coach, helps us understand why speaking up feels so hard—and how to do it anyway.

In t...

How to Have Better Group Conversations with Jessica Ball

We’ve all been there—the meeting that starts with good intentions but quickly spirals into chaos. Packed agendas, dominant voices, awkward silences, and a creeping sense that nothing is actually getting done. So how do we fix it?

In this episode, we’re joined by Jessica Ball, an expert meetings facilitator who has worked with organizations like the UN and Cambridge University to design meetings that are inclusive, effective, and - dare we say it - enjoyable. She shares practical strategies to cut through the noise...

How to Say No at Work (and Keep Your Job!) with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

Saying no at work can feel impossible - especially when you want to maintain good relationships and a strong professional reputation. But constantly saying yes can lead to burnout, poor performance, and a lack of recognition for your value. So how do you set boundaries without damaging your career?

In this episode, we speak with Dr. Victoria Stakelum, also known as The Success Smith, a leading personal and professional transformation expert. She shares practical strategies to help you say no with...

Averil Leimon is a psychologist who works with companies to improve leadership and communication. She uses the work of philosopher Theodore Zeldin on conversations to curate dinner conversations, giving guests a menu of topics that pull them out of small talk and 'work speak' and start having meaningful and memorable connections.

We explore with Averil just how life-changing conversations can be.

Summary

In this episode, Mai, Sarah, and guest psychotherapist, Averil Leimon, discuss the challenges of effective communication, particularly in professional settings. Together they explore the barriers that prevent individuals, especially...

Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? We communicate non-stop by email, texts, voice notes, voicemails, social media, and now AI, but when do we talk? I mean, really talk. We default to digital, the more we type the less we speak. But the more we avoid conversation the more difficult talking face to face becomes. We’ve all been there, that moment when you stumble around for what to say, or explode and say something you didn’t intend and can’t take back. And now that saying the wrong thing can get you sacked, cancelled or wor...

It's a tricky time of year for many people thrown together with family, friends, neighbours and co-workers. Some of them welcome, some of them not. So how do we navigate this time of year when there is so much pressure on us. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, this applies equally to any time of celebration when everyone is expected to join in. Psychologist Linda Blair joins us, a regular contributor on UK TV and radio and a columnist in national newspapers. She brings all her insight to guide us through this tricky season.

Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? We communicate non-stop by email, texts, voice notes, voicemails, social media, and now AI, but when do we talk? I mean, really talk. We default to digital, the more we type the less we speak. But the more we avoid conversation the more difficult talking face to face becomes. We’ve all been there, that moment when you stumble around for what to say, or explode and say something you didn’t intend and can’t take back. And now that saying the wrong thing can get you sacked, cancelled or wor...