The Ordinary Family

What does a thriving marriage actually look like after 16 years, two adopted daughters, and lots of travel?

In this episode, Coleman and Abby sit down with Tommy and Brenda Geary — coaches, adventurers, and parents of two — for one of the most honest and warm conversations we’ve had on the show.

Tommy is a men’s life coach and adventure guide, and Brenda works in health and wellness at a university. Together, they’ve built a life that looks a little different from most: no living room furniture, no TV, a woods trail behind their house, and...

These micro moves can turn your depleted days into energized ones—plus a surprising insight into self-care.

It’s not about trying to cram more productivity into every hour; it’s about understanding where our energy actually goes—and how to create more of it.

The core insight?

We can minimize our drains, but we’ll never fully eliminate them (and you don’t want to, trust me).

Instead, the real magic is in managing our energy by adding micro gains—tiny, strategic moments that refill our tank before it hits zero.

In...

Most families aren’t overwhelmed because they’re doing the wrong things. They’re overwhelmed because they’re doing too many good things—stacked on top of each other with no margin.

In this episode, we talk about how over-scheduling quietly drains connection, why your family’s capacity matters more than you think, and how doing less might actually lead to a more meaningful, connected life at home.

Are you ready to stop rushing from one thing to the next and feeling disconnected from the people you love the most?

I got you! Book a...

Starting in 2026 we will be interviewing parents who’ve struggled, stayed in the arena and kept fighting for their family and marriage. These aren’t people who have it all together, these are parents who’ve done the work to build a life they love together.

Our first interview is with Abby and my longtime friends, Rick and Helen Morrison. We can’t wait to bring you more interviews this year to encourage and inspire you as you build a life that you love with your family.

Summary

Rick and Helen Morrison share their jo...

In this episode, we explore the powerful concept that our memories and the stories we tell ourselves about the past shape our present and future.

You’ll learn practical strategies to uncover unconscious stories, rewrite them, and ultimately change your life trajectory—all while honoring reality.

Whether you’re dealing with limiting beliefs or emotional patterns, this discussion provides clear insight into how perceptions—more than facts—determine who you become.

In this episode:

* How the autonomic nervous system operates below conscious awareness to protect us from emotional and physical danger

* The...

In this episode, Coleman and Abby Housefield share proven techniques for guiding children through emotional regulation at different stages of development, emphasizing a shift from control towards connection.

Drawing on their personal experiences with three kids across age ranges, and their coaching expertise they uncover how parental regulation and emotional skill-building lays a foundation for resilient, independent, and emotionally healthy kids.

In this episode:

* The societal myth that parenting is about controlling behavior and why it’s flawed

* How children’s misbehavior is a natural part of their growth and testing boun...

Why would more time together feel like a threat—rather than a blessing?

A great marriage isn’t luck or chemistry, it’s a set of deliberate skills anyone can develop.

This episode uncovers the three revolutionary skills that shift your marriage from surviving to thriving: letting go of relationship manuals, owning your emotional responsibility, and choosing unconditional love and support. Coleman and Abby explain how giving up rigid expectations opens the door to deeper understanding, how taking responsibility for your emotions empowers you, and how love itself becomes a conscious act—not a feeling you wait...

Hey Friends!

Welcome to February, the month after the month when many of us embark on a new years resolution, and start getting after our goals.

Unfortunately for many of us, February can feel depressing or downright discouraging because we’ve, “fallen off the wagon” or given up on our goals that only a month ago were creating excitement and anticipation for us.

In this episode Abby and I will talk about how you can stick to your goals or resolutions without white knuckling it. All you need is a few tools and the wi...

I was hanging out with an old friend recently and telling him about Abby and my annual reflection practice. My friend said, “you do that with your wife?” and he sounded surprised.

It was at this moment I realized what I thought was normal, was perhaps not normal for many people. A lot of people reflect on the year or make goals for the new year but they often do this exercise for work or for personal but alone

Every year in December or January Abby and I go for a hike, date and reflect on t...

I know only a handful of people who aren’t intimidated or outright scared of having a hard conversation with someone.

In fact this is a skill Abby and I are practicing this year. It’s something we’re much better at than we used to be but we’re still intimidated and scared about having a hard conversation.

The good news is, anyone can have a hard conversation and not get completely taken out by it. All you need are a few tools in your tool belt and to develop the skills to do it.

This episode first went live last year in December of 2024 and we’re publishing it again this year because people found it so inspiring to consider new experiences vs traditions!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

We love Thanksgiving and Christmas around here and we have some cherished family traditions that we look forward to every year.

For some of you though, I know that the holidays can be a difficult time for you and this is where trying new experiences can be helpful. Too many of us sit...

This episode first went live last year in November of 2024 and we’re publishing it again this year because people found it so helpful for navigating the holidays with family!

If you are dreading the upcoming holidays because time with extended family often feels draining and awkward we recorded this episode just for you!

Your hosts Coleman and Abby will share funny and painful stories from their extended family holidays with you and the tools they use now to keep themselves safe and sane when gathering with extended family over the holidays.

...

We (Abby and I) recently hit one of those parenting walls where our strategies and tools that had worked well up to this point were not working anymore.

We believe in the power of contribution in our home and in our family. Society and humans are better when we’re connected and contributing, not just to ourselves but to each other.

But lately, the house has been a mess more often than not. Chores were not getting done and all the ways that Abby and I were trying to encourage, motivate, and get our kids to...

You can make regulating your nervous system easier by taking better care of your physical body.

If you know how to drop into your body and process your emotions, bringing your nervous system back to regulation but you’re not sleeping at night, you’re going to have to work a lot harder to regulate your emotions.

If you can take 10 minutes and do a thought download to observe your thoughts and get to know yourself better but you’re not regularly and consistently moving your physical body, regulating your emotions will be much harder to do...

Have you ever found yourself keeping track of your spouse’s shortcomings?

Or waiting for them to change so you can finally relax, feel loved, or be okay?

If you’ve ever thought:

They make me feel anxious

or

If they’d just listen better, I wouldn’t get so upset.

It’s likely that you too are plagued by this very common mindset in relationships.

I know we (me and Abby) have been plagued by this mindset, especially in the first decade of our marriage a...

What if emotions aren’t as messy and unpredictable as we think they are?

What if the way your emotions work could be rationally and logically explained?

And what if you could completely change your life by learning how to interpret and regulate your emotions?

This is exactly what my coaching client, Sam did!

Listen now to hear his story.

Have a question or comment to share?We would love to hear from you!

You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com

Want to...

Abby and I argued for years over one, surprising thing: to avoid having an impact on the other person that wasn’t purely positive.

Wait, what?! Why would we fight about this?

Because we were both trying to be selfless. We really wanted to serve the other person and take care of them and in the process we stopped taking care of ourselves (because wasn’t that the other person’s job now that we are married?)

So we stopped asking for things we wanted, like time alone or time with other friends (withou...

What was it like for you growing up?

Did you feel like you were adequately prepared and supported as you transitioned from being a child to growing into an adult?

What about life skills? As an adult did you find that you knew how to manage yourself and your life so you could feel at peace and safe no matter what happens?

Were you given autonomy and agency as you entered your teenage years or did your parents tighten the reigns of control over you even more?

Whatever your experience, I...

Abby and I are no longer in the baby and toddler season of parenting but we remember it fondly and with a lot of pain. 😂

It wasn’t until our 3rd and final child was a toddler that we started practicing the most important skill and man, it made all the difference. Before that we were often blown by the winds of chaos when our first two daughters were babies and toddlers because we didn’t know how to do it any other way.

In this episode we’ll share how you can survive and even feel...

Are you a ventaholic (yes, we made up a word)?

Do you enjoy a good vent session? I know I do. 😬

Do you find yourself venting about the same things, people, challenges over and over again?

IT’S A TRAP! 🪤

Venting is a trap. We find ourselves eating tasty treats but after we’re done venting nothing has actually changed (in the real world) unless we do something about it. So we stay stuck in the venting cycle which has non trivial downsides to it.

If you’re curious and want to...

When’s the last time you heard or said, “I’m really tired” or maybe, “why am I so tired today?”

How about when someone asks how you’re doing and you answer, “Tired”.

We wear tiredness like a shield and saying we’re tired often lets us opt out of naming what’s really, truly going on for us.

In this episode Abby and I get personal, sharing our own stories of shielding ourselves with “tired” instead of admitting that we’re feeling lonely or mentally drained.

We’ll share some of the tools we use to he...

What if you could put something on your calendar or decide to do it and know that it was as good as done?!

When we first heard this phrase, it was irritating. Sounds nice, like a fairytale land for people without children!

Then we started doing our own work and both of us have worked with professionals (therapists and coaches) to help us grow.

And we realized, it’s totally possible to commit to something and know that it’s as good as done because we know how to follow through!

In t...

In this episode we’re talking about the enneagram!

How does knowing our personality type and temperament impact our relationships?

How does it impact our parenting?

What about our work?

The truth is, your personality and temperament impact every facet of your life and yet so few people take the time to become aware and understand their motivations.

Why do you do what you do?

Why are some things easy for you while other things are harder?

If you want to unlock the next level of...

When we return to a moment that felt bad and add connection and emotional safety, we actually change the memory in the body. - Dr. Becky Kennedy

… and this is the power of repair. The power to change the memory in the body by adding connection and emotional safety.

I know too many parents who feel like they are failing their kids.

They feel like:

* They yell too much

* They lose their temper too much

* They are sarcastic when they could have been kind

* They co...

I used to think that parenting was like math, something like A + B = C. In fact, it seems like a lot of advice and content out there for parents will argue that parenting is like math too.

“If you use this parenting method your kids will never have meltdowns or tantrums”.

“If you follow the parenting advice in this book your kids will turn out to be good adults.”

And so it goes, we end up thinking that there are a lot of wrong ways to parent and only a few right ways and so m...

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Work/Life Balance” and thought, yeah I want that but I don’t know how to get it, in fact some of us think it’s a nice idea that’s not feasible for us.

Maybe it’s possible for other people but not me, not my life. Or maybe, we’ve just resolved ourselves to grinding it out and trudging through our lives.

We think things like:

* There’s no time for me to have hobbies

* There’s no time for a morning routine

* There’s no ti...

If you’re like me you may have been taught things like…

* Others before self

* It’s your responsibility to take care of your spouse

* If your spouse is going through a hard time, your marriage might be in trouble

* Happy wife, happy life

and while these are all nice sentiments they can actually create bad results for you if you use them as guides when your spouse is going through a hard time.

Because we believe our spouse’s happiness is our responsibility we often try to chang...

In this podcast you’ll hear Abby and I talk a lot about our values.

You’ll hear us say things like:

This doesn’t align with our values.

We were trying to make a decision that aligned with our family values.

In this situation I behaved in a way that did not align with my values.

In this episode we’ll talk about what the heck values are (to us).

We’ll share how we define our values and how they truly guide us in creating the life t...

Why do we want our kids to behave (other than the altruistic reasons we tell ourselves)?

Why does it feel so hard to have a good day, when your spouse is having a bad day?

Would you like to stop ruminating and beating yourself up when you make a mistake?

Then join us as we dive into how you can create emotional safety for yourself in this episode.

You don’t have to change anyone else but you do need to have your own back no matter what!

Have a...

You may have heard about the compound effect as it relates to finances but did you know that this concept applies to all of life?

The best part is, you can leverage the compound effect to create the relationship you want with your spouse and kids.

Join us as we dive into all the ways you can create compounding positive change in your life and the life of the people you love the most.

Have a question or comment to share?We would love to hear from you!

You can send...

Abby: “I don’t love boundaries”

Coleman: “I love boundaries”

For years Abby and I did boundaries poorly. It was all about controlling and managing other people’s behavior. I feel exhausted just thinking about it now.

Then we learned how to do boundaries in a way that required only one thing: how to manage and control ourselves.

This simple shift changed our experience of boundaries. All of a sudden, boundaries actually worked and were fully within our control.

Other people could do whatever they wanted to do and we knew exac...

We all have the same amount of hours in a day but we don’t all have the same energy capacity.

For years Abby and I perfected the art of time management in our work and our home. We maximized all the things. We made the inefficient, efficient. We planned and scheduled something most hours of most days.

We listened to podcasts in our down time and on our commutes. Always learning, always growing.

Or were we?

It’s difficult to retain what you haven’t had time or energy to proces...

Communication is complex and for work we have degrees for that.

What about communicating with your spouse and kids? Is there a degree for that?

Sure would be nice if there was.

Do you feel confident in your ability to communicate efficiently and effectively with your spouse and kids?

Or does it feel hard and painful to have a conversation with your spouse?

Does it feel like conversations just take way too long and in some cases you don’t get anywhere? This is the worst.

What ab...

Are you doing you best?

Do you find yourself leaving it all on the field?

What about going the extra mile or above and beyond?

As a child or adolescent these phrases were quite helpful but as an adult they can sometimes lead us astray.

Why?

Because when you’re only responsible for yourself, you’re the only person impacted when you leave it all on the field or go the extra mile.

When you have a family, your spouse and kids are often the ones impacted the...

This week’s episode is all about the adventures we went on with our kids that quickly turned into misadventures!

We laughed, we cried, we were pissed, we felt defeated and regret and each time we learned something important about ourselves, our kids, and each other.

If you adventure with your kids, you’re going to have misadventures and they aren’t usually the stuff you see people sharing on instagram.

So we’re here to share with you humbly and authentically, what its actually like to adventure with our kids.

Come wit...

Parents, we made this episode for you.

We wish we would have had this podcast episode when we were new parents!

How do you define success as a parent?

Do you know?

Whether it was intentional or not you have a target that you’re working towards as a parent.

For many of us, it’s just what our parents did (or didn’t do) that guides us in how we show up as parents for our own kids.

For some of us, it’s o...

In addition to being a mom and wife, your host Abby does a few other things including:

* Homeschooling her kids

* Running a farm and forest school with her sister in law

* Teaching yoga

If you…

* Want to get to know Abby better

* Are interested in homeschooling or homeschool enrichment programs like the farm and forest school

* Or love yoga

This episode is for you!

In this episode Abby shares how she navigates all the things she is responsible for and engaged wi...

One of our podcast listeners thanked us recently and shared that they joined a running club after listening to one of our episodes.

We absolutely love hearing that our podcast is making a positive difference in people’s lives.

If something we’ve shared on this podcast has had a positive impact on your life we would love to hear from you!

You can reply directly to this email or leave us a review on whatever podcast player you use. It means the world to us, so thank you in advance!

On t...

Abby and I have been married for 15 years. In 15 years we’ve been through multiple seasons of life that were hard, some were really hard on our marriage.

Whether you’re navigating a season of closeness or feeling the strain of growing apart, this episode includes practical advice and our honest stories to help you imagine new ways to connect with your spouse.

Join Abby and Coleman as they share the blueprint they use to prioritize their relationship with each other while working and raising 3 kids together.

Have a question or comment to shar...

These days, technology makes it easy to avoid thinking, just ask google!

It makes it easy to not ask a friend for help, just watch a youtube video!

It makes it easy to not become a capable, creative problem solving human.

In our home we consider ourselves technology minimalists, my friend Trey calls it Tech Veganism.

But what about the way technology can keep our kids safer, right?! Isn’t my kid safer with a smart watch or phone with them all the time?

Our answer is NO (and we...