Crazy Together

What does it mean to go all in on something? Well, sometimes you have to go all in if you want to get all out. And even though the previous sentence made absolutely no sense whatsoever, we’re keeping it in the description because writing introductory paragraphs can be difficult.

In this week’s HYPERFOCUS BONUS, Marcus and Esme share two stories of going all in to achieve a goal. In part 1, Esme shares some strategies she’s employed to overcome the painting inertia she described in last week’s episode. That’s right. In one week, Esme ident...

WARNING! This episode discusses the positive psychology movement’s fall from grace. As such, listeners who have endured the “horrors” wrought by positive psychology in schools and in the workplace might feel some degree of Schadenfreude, a fancy German word that means you’re happy because someone or something else is getting the shaft. Then again, you’re the one who’s been forced to bottle up your emotions and put on a fake smile, so maybe your joy won’t be quite so shameful. 

In part 2 of their series on positive psychology, Marcus and Esme discuss the fall of the...

In defiance of the laws of grammar and common sense, Marcus and Esme ask the question, “What is the difference between two things that are very similar to one another, except in the ways in which they are different?”

In Esme’s case, she explores the ways in which two activities (watercolor painting and landscape design) can share very similar goals (artistic and aesthetic enhancement) but trigger her hyperfocus differently.

In Marcus’ case, he describes how the act of realizing two different pieces of art or entertainment are thematically linked compels him to compare the two and...

Do you feel pressured to maintain a super positive attitude in the workplace? Are you sick of engagement surveys? Do you wish that the word “grit” was only used to describe the relative coarseness of sandpaper?  

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you might have a bone to pick with a scientific discipline and research movement known as positive psychology. 

According to Psychology Today, “positive psychology is the study of optimal human functioning.” It’s also the brainchild of psychologist and former president of the American Psychological Association Martin Seligman. Seligman believed psyc...

Has Esme been lying about an important biographical detail? 

Longtime listeners will know that Marcus and Esme both come from the same county in southeast Pennsylvania, but they grew up on “different sides of the tracks.” For her part, Esme grew up in a part of Delaware County she lovingly refers to as “Deep Delco,” and enjoys pointing out the many ways in which Marcus’ upbringing was far cushier than her own.

However, a recent article from a fancy travel site casts a shadow of doubt over Esme’s street cred. According to Islands.com, Upper Darby T...

Is it possible that the same mind-altering drugs you turned down in college because you hated jam bands (or the drugs you gladly accepted because that’s what college is for) could have tremendous potential as treatments for a whole host of mental health issues and challenges? 

As it turns out, yes, it is very possible.

In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss psychedelic-assisted therapy (PAT), a psychiatric treatment model that combines the use of controlled doses of psychedelic substances with professional psychotherapy. While neither of them has any practical, hands-on experience with the substances in...

What happens when you mix epic poetry, big budget filmmaking, a huge marketing budget, and the very loud opinions of some of the internet’s dumbest trolls? You get The Odyssey, a 3-hour long action-adventure extravaganza from the reigning champion of summer blockbuster movies Christopher Nolan. 

Marcus and Esme, who only get to the theater once or twice a year (not including times they take their daughter to watch more kid-friendly fare), decided to step into the zeitgeist and see if the film everybody is talking about is worth all the hype.

Were they blown awa...

This episode is dedicated to anyone who has submitted a job application through Workday. Marcus and Esme want you to know they see you. All 100,000 or 500,000 or several million of you (it’s difficult to say exactly how many people have used the platform, but it’s safe to say it’s a lot).  

Workday, Inc is currently at the center of a federal class action suit. Plaintiffs allege that its AI-driven hiring software is discriminating against job applicants based on protected characteristics such as race, age, and disability. The lawsuit could redefine how courts treat algorithmic hiring...

Marcus and Esme continue to persevere in the face of unanticipated audio issues that may or may not be supernatural in nature. Anyone who knows of a good AV tech /Exorcist is encouraged to reach out to the show with their contact information.

Marcus and Esme share some highlights of a recent trip to the Poconos, where they learned about the history of the Civilian Conservation Corps, a government work relief program created by FDR during the Great Depression. The CCC, which was organizationally modeled after the US Army, created work opportunities for unemployed, unmarried men ages 18–25. Gi...

What if neurodivergence isn’t some sort of genetic glitch? What if our facility with hyperfocus, pattern recognition, and rapid threat detection are actually vital survival advantages that have enabled the evolution of all people? What if, against all odds, we are the linchpin of human survival? 

In this week’s episode, Marcus and Esme discuss a fairly new hypothesis about the evolution of neurodivergent conditions. The evolutionary case for neurodivergence theorizes that conditions like ADHD, autism, and dyslexia are not genetic "mistakes". Instead, they represent natural variations in human cognition that played a vital role in enabl...

Why do neurodivergent and neurotypical people often think and behave differently from one another, and why do they struggle to see things from each other’s perspective? While there are a variety of reasons that might explain these differences, Marcus and Esme explore one that they think is particularly impactful: thinking styles. In this special, vacation week edition, Marcus and Esme revisit the topics of bottom-up and top-down thinking. In doing so, they ask the audience to help them figure out: 

1) Do Marcus and Esme hate jigsaw puzzles, or are they just mildly annoyed by the imperfect use...

She’s back! Esme and Marcus continue the discussion about the Power of Novelty (episode 122) as they recall some of the lessons they learned on a trip to Paris. Later, Esme shares a recommendation for a book series about a group of witches, vampires, and demons who make a solemn pact to keep their existence hidden from regular people and each other. But can any pact really stop a couple of attractive academics (and secret supernatural beings) from falling in love? 

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Esme-heads: prepare to be disappointed. Or, prepare to be delightfully surprised! Such is the power of novel experiences.

Marcus is flying solo this week. And while he realizes the throngs of Esme fans out there might be loath to listen to him meander his way through an episode without the patient guidance of his better half, he has endeavored to keep it (relatively) short and sweet.

In this week’s episode, Marcus discusses the concept of novelty and its impact on the reward pathways in our brains. He also describes the positive impact novel experiences ha...

Just because Marcus and Esme are taking a little bit of time off to celebrate the Fourth of July weekend doesn't mean they have forgotten about you, dear listener. To ensure you get your weekly fix of their unique brand of neurodivergent meandering, they've decided to replay one of their most downloaded HYPERFOCUS BONUS episodes ever: 61. Who’s That Lady (Doing All That Sewing)?

Marcus and Esme will be back with new episodes next week. 

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What do you get when you cross peer-reviewed, academically rigorous neuroscience with the super-squishy feels-based world of wellness? A lot of FCC compliant (but not FDA approved) devices, a little bit of hope, and, sadly, far too many broken promises. 

Marcus and Esme discuss the burgeoning trends of neurotech and neurowellness in this week’s episode and share some “yellow flags” you should consider before spending a lot of money on a miracle device or treatment. They also share their golden rule for assessing the validity of any mental health-related service or product: consult a professional before making...

Is there crying in baseball? As it turns out, yes. And Marcus tells the tale of how he learned you absolutely cannot weaponize a legendary player’s emotional farewell against a rival team’s fan base, no matter how much they might deserve it. 

Also, Esme reveals the two key lessons at the heart of the Other Bennet Sister: 1) Mary Bennet doesn’t need to be featured in a rapid-fire montage in which she tries on multiple dresses – she’s fine the way she is; and 2) everybody can use a little bit of Indira Varma in their lives.

“Do you really think you’re tougher than Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt or Lord of Winterfell, Ned Stark?” This is the seemingly nonsensical question Marcus and Esme pose to their male listeners in this week’s episode (Please note: This question will make sense once you listen to the episode).

One of the central tenets of traditional masculinity is that men must be protectors and providers for their families. This is not a bad impulse in-and-of itself. Men should want to take care of the people they care about. However, manosphere grifters like to use the concept o...

Is the nighttime truly the right time for boardgame-based family fun? For the average person with ADHD, whose attention span is largely dependent on medications they take during the daytime, the answer might be “no.” That’s the conclusion Marcus and Esme have come to after a recent family game night, wherein the O’Kayvious clan attempted to play a new (and surprisingly complex) boardgame for the very first time. Marcus and Esme share their family’s story of perseverance and joy in the face of their dopamine-starved attention spans. 

Plus, Marcus recalls a family game night from his ch...

What if our assumptions about the inner lives of loved ones who are living with Alzheimer’s and dementia are wrong? What if the people we love are still very much there? 

These are the questions raised by today’s guest, Marilyn Raichle. Marilyn is author of Don’t Walk Away: A Care Partner’s Journey, a powerful and uplifting memoir about her experience as her mother’s care partner while she was living with dementia. She is also one of the most genuine and lovely people you’d ever want to talk to.

While the idea of c...

Esme battles an old foe en route to restoring the O’Kayvious household’s gardens to their former glory: the sun. Will cosplaying as an ultra-refined Bryn Mawr graduate give her the tactical edge she needs? Also, Marcus courts controversy by revealing the one thing Donald Trump does right – if you’re going to re-watch the 1988 martial arts masterpiece Bloodsport, you really should fast forward through all the unnecessary dialogue.

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“Can you blame your boyfriend’s mom for making your boyfriend a bad boyfriend?” This is the hypothetical question Marcus poses at the start of the episode. Fortunately, Esme is there to ask questions and figure out what Marcus is talking about. 

It turns out that Marcus wants to discuss Attachment Theory, a psychological framework that explores how young children form emotional bonds with their caregivers and how these bonds influence their future relationships. Together, they discuss the kinds of formative experiences that create attachment types, and how those attachment types strongly influence how we approach our adult r...

HYPERBOLIC TITLE WARNING: This episode does not feature stories of ACTUAL betrayal or revenge. However, it does attempt to answer the following questions: Does a former college basketball star have an obligation to his alma mater to ensure his son does not play for that school's hated rival? (Spoiler alert: in this case, yes). Is a minor character from a classic Jane Austen novel deserving of her own story? (Spoiler alert: in this case, yes). Also, Marcus and Esme provide critical updates on open questions from previous installments of the Hyperfocus Bonus.

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Internet and social media trends come and go, and many of them are pretty stupid. But could it be true that there is one current trend that might actually be somewhat beneficial for our mental health and well being?

Join Marcus and Esme as they discuss whimsy, the rare social media trend that doesn’t seem to want to kill us. Marcus and Esme discuss why the trend has taken off, and whether or not there is any hard, scientific evidence to suggest that it might be a good thing (spoiler alert: believe it or not, there ki...

Are the narrators of audiobooks the final authority on how to pronounce the names of people and places in sci-fi/fantasy novels? What is the likelihood a noteworthy director of independent cinema has moved to Marcus and Esme’s small town in southeastern Pennsylvania? And what does it mean if Marcus is hearing the voice of an entirely different director in his head when he goes grocery shopping? 

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Is it possible that the cerebellum plays a much larger role in our mental health than was previously known? And if so, what are the implications for the future of how mental health and neurodivergent conditions are diagnosed and treated going forward? Well, after an exhaustive review of recent breakthroughs in the field of neuroscience, Marcus and Esme are prepared to say, “Wow, those are some tough questions.”

The truth of the matter is that the cerebellum has been the subject of a lot of fascinating research and discoveries in the past few years (it has long been...

Most great works of art defy simple interpretation. Some pieces are so complex and so deeply rousing that two people (who are otherwise very much alike in temperament and tastes) can walk away from the same composition with very different interpretations. Such is the case with the timeless blue-eyed soul standard Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. Marcus and Esme discuss their specific point of contention and ask for the listeners' help to resolve the dispute. Also, a family of birds has taken up residence in a planter on the O’Kayvious’ front porch, which has had some...

Do neurodivergent people really struggle with object permanence? Generally speaking, no. Babies and dogs may struggle to understand that something still exists even if they can’t see it anymore (which explains the rush babies get playing peek-a-boo). However, most older children and adults – regardless of neurotype – tend to understand that mommy has not exited this earthly plain just because she threw a blanket over her head. 

That being said, Marcus and Esme think there is one very specific area of neurodivergent peoples’ lives where they might struggle with something similar to object permanence. Specifically, if neurodivergent people:<...

All Esme wanted to do was pay homage to one of her favorite flowers. Unfortunately, Marcus had to go and ruin it with some inappropriate giggling just because the name of the flower sounds a little bit like a certain defining aspect of the male anatomy. It was childish and disrespectful and Marcus apologized profusely for it . . . every time Esme mentioned the flower’s name.

Marcus then took a moment to celebrate the 84th birthday of legendary singer/songwriter Taj Mahal. Esme demonstrated far more patience and maturity than Marcus was capable of during her segment, even wh...

Have you ever felt like you’ve changed so much you barely recognize yourself? If so, you might be experiencing an identity crisis. Identity crises are pretty common, but they might be an indicator that you could benefit from some professional medical assistance.

In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss the concept of identity and why having a strong, continuous sense of identity is important to our mental health and well-being. They share their own experiences navigating identity crises and the types of interventions they found most helpful (hint: it rhymes with “sherapy”). They also identify additional activi...

In honor of Mother’s Day and his dad’s birthday, Marcus shares some fond remembrances of his parents. It’s an important reminder that we all end up talking about the people we love in therapy. It’s only natural, because they’re usually the ones who have made the biggest impacts on our lives. Life is complicated that way. But, if we’re lucky, we also have a lot of uncomplicated memories of those people that make us smile and remind us how fortunate we are to have had them in our lives.

Marcus also takes a mome...

In this episode, Marcus and Esme ask a very important question: can’t we be optimistic about the future AND do something about the man-eating tiger that’s stalking us?

It’s a metaphorical tiger, but it’s an important question, nonetheless.

Marcus and Esme continue their exploration of bottom-up thinking (a cognitive style more prevalent among neurodivergent people) and top-down thinking (a cognitive style more prevalent among neurotypical people).

They begin by taking some time to reassure their top-down thinking listeners that they are loved and that no one at Crazy Together Industri...

Marcus reveals that he used to be a pretty big fan of post-apocalyptic movies. They were a lot more fun in his youth, when he could more easily ignore the many real-world fears and anxieties that were the constant sub-text of the genre (e.g., nuclear holocaust, fossil fuel scarcity, climate change, etc.). The movies were fun, and there was always a glimmer of hope in each one. For example, the Road Warrior reassured us that quality leather goods and hair products will remain in abundance in the future. And Waterworld aptly demonstrated that Kevin Costner can not only...

This is the episode Marcus has been dying to make for a long time now (at least three weeks). Marcus and Esme discuss bottom-up and top-down processing: two different thinking styles that influence how people take in information and make sense of the world around them. Even though most people are capable of both styles, neurodivergent people are more likely to engage in bottom-up processing, while neurotypical people are more likely to employ a top-down approach. At first glance, it might appear the differences in the two styles are a matter of personal preference. But Marcus and Esme take...

As a follow-up to the “Very Special and Horrifying Announcement” released earlier this week Esme provides some much needed perspective. According to her, there’s a slight possibility that Marcus was misrepresenting the immediate danger to Crazy Together studios and the family as a whole. It turns out, the walls of their house might not be teeming with bats. That said, there’s no way to tell exactly what was crawling around behind the walls that night, and she is unable to disprove the possibility of interdimensional demons.

Esme then provides a quick update of her gardening/dopamine...

Something is lurking within the walls of the O'Kayvius household. Neither Marcus or Esme has spotted the beast yet, but they have heard it's frantic scratching. While Esme isn't prepared to hazard a guess as to the genus or species of their wall-dwelling intruder, Marcus is almost certain it's a bat (but he's also not willing to rule out the possibility of an interdimensional traveller with nefarious intent). The problem is, the scratchy tresspasser is slowly making its way through the walls to the basement, where there are multiple egress points for the creature to emerge and take over...

As a thank you to their listeners, Marcus and Esme are celebrating the release of the 100th episode of Crazy Together with a free merch giveaway to five lucky winners. Just go to crazytogetherpod.com and complete the 100th Episode Mug Giveaway form (look for the bouncing mugs). The first five listeners to submit an entry will automatically win!

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Frisson is amazing. It’s a physical response some people experience from exposure to powerful and emotional stimuli such as music and art. While most people are capable of experiencing it from time-to-time, emerging research suggests it may be more common – and more intense – among neurodivergent individuals.

In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss their experiences and history with this incredible phenomenon. They also attempt to explain why frisson is so much more prevalent among neurodivergent people, and how we might use it to enrich our lives. 

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Marcus is absolutely flummoxed by the advertising campaign for a product that is being marketed to people with anxiety issues. Specifically, he can’t figure out why someone would decide the best way to motivate anxious people to buy their product is by creeping them out. Esme is so entertained by Marcus’ musings she forgets her own hyperfocus topic, but contributes gleefully to the discussion.

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Hyperfocus can be a strength when it’s being applied to something worthwhile or meaningful. However, even when we’re using it “productively*” it comes at a cost: our energy.

In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss hyperfocus hangovers – the emotional and even physical exhaustion many people with ADHD experience following prolonged periods of hyperfocus. They explain why hyperfocus can be so taxing on our minds and bodies, and the extra energy people with ADHD need to expend to direct our attention to less interesting tasks. They also discuss what we can do to mitigate the effects of hyperfo...

Picture this: you’re actively working on something that requires a lot of attention (e.g., homework, an assignment at work, an e-mail to a boss who requires communication that is somehow both succinct and robust, etc.). But then, all of a sudden – whoosh – your mind goes blank. No thoughts. Just blank. It would be a real Zen sound of one-hand clapping moment if the timing wasn’t so inconveniant. Because, eventually, you snap back to attention. You shake your head, bewildered by the experience, and upset that you allowed yourself to lose focus again. 

But what if it was...