Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter

Is midlife too late to start something new?

Or have social media, hustle culture, and our obsession with turning every damn thing into an accomplishment convinced us that if we're not already good at it, making money from it, or building a personal brand around it…why bother?

In this episode of Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter, I'm talking about what it feels like to be 47 and suddenly obsessed with sewing, French, fashion, creativity, and parts of myself I thought I'd left somewhere along the way.

And yes, sometimes I look online and th...

What if getting dressed has less to do with fashion—and everything to do with identity?

In this episode, I sit down with New York stylist and creative director Kate Tricarico to talk about why personal style is so much deeper than following trends. From growing up in New York City to working with legendary costume designer Patricia Field on the Bowery, Kate shares stories from the city's unforgettable fashion scene and how those experiences shaped her understanding of clothing as self-expression.

Today, Kate styles everyone from celebrities to everyday women, helping people discover a wa...

It's Time to Pivot: Why Rewired Sober Is Evolving

Eight years ago, getting sober changed everything.

For a long time, alcohol was the conversation because it had to be. It was the thing standing between me and the life I wanted. But here's what I've discovered after years of working with women in recovery, psychiatric nursing, coaching, and hosting this podcast:

We rarely stay talking about alcohol for very long.

Eventually, the conversations become about burnout.

Identity.

Marriage.

Careers.

Friendships.

Midlife.<...

Can healing happen in the very places where we once unraveled?

In this deeply personal episode of Rewired Sober, I share the story of returning to Portland—a city that once represented some of the most painful years of my life. It was the place where alcohol left behind professional wreckage, strained relationships, broken trust, and a version of myself I wasn't proud of.

Eight years into recovery, I returned not to erase the past, but to experience it as the woman I've become.

This episode explores how our brains attach emotions to pl...

What if the greatest thing you recover in sobriety isn't your liver…it's your brain?

In this episode of Rewired Sober, I share a deeply personal look at the ways alcohol quietly changed my thinking, attention, stress tolerance, curiosity, and ability to experience everyday joy. This isn't another episode about fear or shame. It's a conversation about hope and neuroplasticity.

As a psychiatric nurse, I've spent years studying how alcohol affects the brain. As someone in long-term recovery, I've also lived it. Looking back, I can see that alcohol didn't just take away hangover-free mornings. It...

Most people think recovery is about quitting alcohol.

It's not.

Quitting drinking is the beginning. Learning to trust yourself again is where real recovery begins.

In this episode, I explore why self-trust—not willpower—is one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. We talk about why so many women lose trust in themselves, how years of self-abandonment quietly erode confidence, and why rebuilding that relationship happens through small, everyday decisions—not dramatic transformations.

You'll also learn how your brain literally rewires itself as you begin keeping promises to yourself, setting boundaries, tolera...

Watching someone you love struggle with alcohol can be heartbreaking, frustrating, confusing, and exhausting. Whether it's a spouse, parent, adult child, sibling, or friend, many of us find ourselves asking the same question:

How do I help without becoming consumed by their choices?

In this episode, Kate explores the delicate balance between caring and carrying, supporting and controlling, loving and enabling. Drawing from her experience as a psychiatric nurse, addiction nurse, recovery coach, and someone who has been on both sides of the conversation, she breaks down what actually helps—and what doesn't.

Yo...

Episode Description

What if your craving isn't actually for alcohol?

What if the thing you're chasing isn't the wine, the cocktail, or the buzz—but the feeling you believe it will create?

In this episode, Kate dives into the fascinating neuroscience of dopamine, anticipation, and craving. Drawing from the work of psychiatrist and author Dr. Anna Lembke (Dopamine Nation), she explores why the anticipation of drinking often feels more rewarding than the drink itself and why the first sip rarely lives up to the fantasy.

If you've ever said, "I just ne...

What do Botox, beauty culture, perfectionism, recovery, feminism, and self-worth have in common?

More than most of us want to admit.

In this powerful and surprisingly funny conversation, Kate sits down with filmmaker and actress Kerri Lynn Miller to discuss her upcoming psychological drama TOX, a film exploring beauty obsession, body dysmorphia, perfectionism, and the relentless pursuit of external validation.

Together, they unpack the uncomfortable truth that many women spend years chasing the next thing that promises to make them feel worthy:

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: katevitelacoaching@gmail.com

For most of human history, women experienced life.

Now we watch ourselves live it.

We stare at our faces on Zoom. We record ourselves. Edit ourselves. Compare ourselves. Analyze...

What do autism, Ozempic, alcohol cravings, recovery culture, and a Substack called The Loudest Girl in the Corner have in common?

More than you might think.

In this episode of Rewired Sober, I sit down with Rebecca Rush—sober autistic peer support coach, poet, essayist, and creator of The Loudest Girl in the Corner—for one of the most honest, hilarious, and thought-provoking conversations I've had on the podcast.

We explore the intersection of neurodiversity, addiction, and recovery culture, including why many people spend years being labeled as "alcoholics" while undiagnosed autism, ADHD, sens...

In this solo episode of Rewired Sober, we’re talking about why so many intelligent, capable, high-functioning women struggle to quit drinking — even when they know alcohol is hurting them.

Because contrary to popular belief, addiction and emotional dependency are not intelligence problems.

In fact?

Sometimes being highly self-aware actually makes it easier to stay stuck.

Smart women are incredibly good at:

Welcome to analysis paralysis.

This episode breaks down how...

In this episode of Rewired Sober, we’re talking about a thought almost every woman in recovery has had at some point:

“It’s unfair I have to live sober.”

And honestly? I get it.

It can feel deeply frustrating to watch other people drink while you’re trying to rebuild your nervous system, regulate your emotions, and figure out who you even are without alcohol.

Nobody wants to be the person ordering club soda while everyone else is posting vodka sodas like they’re in a 2001 episode of Sex and the City.

This episode is a little chaotic, deeply human, wildly funny, and honestly? exactly what recovery can start to feel like when you stop making sobriety synonymous with punishment.

I’m taking you with me to New York City — from a sober social night at The Maze, to long walks through Central Park with women who are rebuilding themselves out loud. We talk about laughter, freedom, female friendship, feeling safe in your own skin again, and why sober people weirdly become the people partying at noon with popsicles in hand dancing in Central Park.

I also shar...

What if the thing you’ve been calling boredom in sobriety…

is actually a lack of expression?

In this episode, I sit down with Susi Glenna Milne to talk about creativity not as a hobby—but as a lifeline in recovery.

We get into what happens after you stop drinking and realize… okay, now I actually have to feel my life.

And instead of numbing out, what if you created your way through it?

We talk about how creativity in sobriety and recovery:

My solid guess is this: You didn’t drink because you were weak.

You drank because your brain adapted.

In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest lies in recovery culture: that shame will somehow motivate you into becoming a better version of yourself.

Spoiler: it won’t.

In fact, it does the opposite.

Using both neuroscience and real-life, messy-human examples, Kate is walking you through why shame keeps you stuck in the exact patterns you’re trying to escape—and what actually creates lasting change instead.<...

What if the way you introduce yourself…

is keeping you stuck?

In this episode, we’re diving into something that’s deeply normalized in recovery spaces—but rarely questioned:

The words you use to describe who you are.

Because when you repeatedly say:

“I am an alcoholic”

“I am broken”

“This is just who I am”

Your brain listens.

Not emotionally.

Neurologically.

And it starts wiring your identity around those words.

But what if there’s another way?

...

Every year, the first Monday in May, the world watches the Met Gala—a spectacle of fashion, identity, and storytelling through art.

And this year?

I’m not on that carpet.

But I am building something that matters a hell of a lot more.

Because the version of me who used to drink herself into invisibility…

is now creating a life out loud.

In this episode, I’m taking you inside the real plot twist of sobriety—what happens when you don’t just quit drinking… you actually start...

Mama- You’re not too angry.

You’re finally paying attention.

In this episode, we’re talking about something that gets misunderstood, minimized, and straight-up pathologized—especially in women:

Rage.

Not surface-level irritation.

Not “I need a bubble bath.”

I’m talking about the kind of anger that makes you look at your life and go:

“Are you kidding me?”

This isn’t a “calm down and regulate” conversation.

This is about sacred rage—what happens when you stop suppressing yourself, stop numbing out, and star...

What if the problem wasn’t just alcohol…

but the way you were taught to stop thinking for yourself?

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on something bigger than recovery culture.

Deprogramming from AA dogma forced me to confront a deeper pattern—cult mentality—and how it shows up everywhere: sobriety spaces, religion, spiritual healing circles, coaching communities, friendships, and even romantic relationships.

We’re not talking about extreme, fringe groups.

We’re talking about everyday environments that:

⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER?

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: katevitelacoaching@gmail.com

Everyone is talking about nervous system regulation—but what does that actually look like in real life?

In this episode, Kate sits down with n...

Connect with Kate at Rewired Sober on All Social Media Platforms

Book a Discovery Call with Kate: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Email the Podcast: katevitelacoaching@gmail.com

In this solo episode, Kate shares what she can feel falling away in her life—and what she’s consciously choosing to embrace instead.

Inspired by a meditation on the goddess Kali from the work of Meggan Watterson and the spiritual teaching of choosing love over fear from A Course in Miracles, Kate reflects on the identities, beliefs, and systems she’s outg...

Early sobriety can feel confusing, emotional, and honestly… pretty weird. You quit drinking and everyone expects life to magically improve overnight. But the truth is, the early stages of sobriety often come with exhaustion, emotional whiplash, boredom, and a lot of questions about who you are without alcohol.

In this solo episode, Kate Vitela, RN, takes a no-nonsense, honest look at early sobriety—what’s actually happening in your brain, why emotions feel so intense, and why this phase can feel both awkward and transformative at the same time.

Kate breaks down the real challenges people...

⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER?

https://linktr.ee/KateVitela

If you’re a midlife woman questioning your relationship with alcohol or figuring out what comes next in sobriety, I’ve created resources to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Nurses spend their careers taking care of everyone else. But what happens when the caregiver is the one who needs help?

In this episode, Kate sits down with Stephanie, an ICU nurse with 26 years of experience, a mother of three, and a powerful advocate for honesty and compassion in the conversation around a...

In this episode of Rewired Sober, host Kate Vitela, RN sits down with Dawn Nickel, founder of SHE RECOVERS, to explore what women’s recovery looks like when we stop forcing it into one narrow definition.

SHE RECOVERS is a global nonprofit dedicated to making recovery accessible, inclusive, and empowering for all women—not just those recovering from substance use, but women healing from mental health challenges, trauma, eating disorders, burnout, and the many ways life impacts the nervous system.

In this powerful conversation, Dawn shares:

Women don’t just experience alcohol use disorder differently than men — they are judged differently too.

In this episode, we explore the double standard women face around drinking, addiction, and recovery, including how stigma, biology, trauma, and social expectations intersect to create unique challenges for women.

You’ll learn why women often develop alcohol problems faster, why shame and secrecy delay treatment, and how cultural pressures — including work, caregiving, and societal expectations — contribute to rising alcohol use among women.

We also talk about the concept of being “gaslit” by cultural narratives that frame women’s strugg...

What happens when a recovery program that once helped you… stops fitting who you’re becoming?

In this episode, Kate sits down with Kirsten — known online as @sobrietybestie and host of the Sobriety Bestie podcast — to explore what it looks like to question Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) after years of participation.

Kirsten spent 10 years in AA and has now been out for 5. Together, they discuss the complex reality that AA can be helpful for many people — while also examining how dogma, identity labels, and recovery folklore can become limiting or even harmful over time.

This conve...

In this episode, Kate is joined by Simmy, founder of Miracle Maker 1111, for a conversation exploring the connection between belief, identity, energy, and manifestation.

Together they unpack the idea that our internal world — our thoughts, expectations, emotions, and self-concept — shapes the life we experience. Simmy shares her step-by-step approach to manifestation, including the role of visualization, emotional embodiment, spiritual connection, and becoming the kind of person who expects good things to happen.

Rather than framing manifestation as “wishful thinking,” this conversation explores how transformation happens when someone begins to see themselves differently, feel differently, and live fro...

Burnout isn’t just a personal problem—it’s a cultural one.

In this episode, Kate sits down with former Sociology Professor turned Burnout Coach Dr. Jen Costanza for a refreshingly honest conversation about what it actually means to live in today’s world as a woman, a professional, and a human being with a nervous system.

Together, they unpack how modern culture pressures women to perform wellness instead of experience it, why “having it all together” is often a lie, and how burnout is frequently a rational response to unrealistic expectations—not a personal failure.

In this raw solo episode of Rewired Sober, Kate celebrates eight years of sobriety while recording from New York City during her annual Fashion Week trip. This isn’t a highlight reel — it’s an honest reflection on self-trust, identity, boundaries, feminism, spirituality, grief, creativity, and what actually changes when you build a life you don’t need to escape from.

Kate explores how sobriety reshaped everything: how she dresses, how she speaks up, how she chooses relationships, how she handles discomfort, and how she trusts herself more deeply than ever before. From tattoos and style as self-exp...

In this solo episode, Kate goes deep into a part of recovery that rarely gets named — but quietly shapes everything: religious wounding, self-trust, and soul work.

For years, Kate approached recovery through neuroscience alone — partly out of rebellion against rigid dogma and hierarchical systems that taught her she was broken, powerless, or unable to trust herself. But over time, both her own healing and her work with hundreds of women revealed something deeper:

Many women aren’t just healing from alcohol.

They’re healing from self-abandonment.

From spiritual disconnection.

From bei...

pisode Notes

This is a bonus episode about staying sober in a world that feels like it’s on fire.

I talk about capacity — not as a moral issue, but as a real limit — and why newly sober people do not owe the world constant engagement, takes, or emotional mastery.

We cover:

This episode is f...

What happens when the very system that’s supposed to support healing starts to feel controlling, fear-based, or limiting?

In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by Tara Grace the host of the Recovery Rebellion podcast, who openly identifies as a “12-step dogma survivor” and advocates for a more nuanced, compassionate, and person-centered approach to recovery.

We explore the darker side of the recovery world that many people are afraid to name out loud — including rigid ideology, shame-based messaging, and the ways people are often discouraged from trusting their own intuition.

This episode is not abo...

For decades, addiction has been widely defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease — a framework adopted by the medical system, treatment centers, and many recovery programs, including Alcoholics Anonymous.

In this episode, Kate explores why that definition — while historically important — often falls short, especially for women who don’t experience their relationship with alcohol as a lifelong disease state.

This conversation isn’t anti-recovery or anti-help.

It’s about discernment, nuance, and intellectual honesty.

Kate unpacks how the disease model became the dominant narrative, why it’s convenient for institutions, and how questionin...

What actually happens when two women, two coaches, and two very different styles sit down to talk about Dry January, habit change, and why New Year’s resolutions so often fall apart?

In this episode, I’m joined by Casey Davidson, host of the Hello Someday Podcast—one of today’s top mental health podcasts—and a nationally recognized voice in the sober-curious space who’s been featured across major media outlets.

Together, we have a real, funny, unfiltered conversation about sobriety curiosity, consistency, and what actually helps people change—without dieting, white-knuckling, or pretending willpower is t...

The Devil We Know: Why Sobriety Feels Uncomfortable Before It Feels Free

In this episode of Rewired Sober, Kate explores one of the most misunderstood parts of sobriety: liminal spaces — the in-between seasons where the old way no longer fits, but the new way hasn’t fully formed yet.

These are the moments when you know you made the right choice…

but your nervous system still craves the relief of certainty.

Using both neuroscience and lived experience, Kate unpacks why the brain prefers the “devil we know” — familiar patterns, predictable outcomes, even familia...

In this episode of Rewired Sober™, we’re going straight for the jugular: pop culture, body image, drunkorexia, and the weaponized shame that’s kept women small, hungry, distracted, and drinking for decades.

I break down how Sophie Gilbert’s Girl on Girl exposes the pressure cooker women have lived in for the last 20 years — the beauty standards, the public scrutiny, the Kardashian-era body illusions, the return of heroin-chic, the Jessica Simpson mom-jean debacle — and how all of it shaped not just how women see themselves… but how women cope.

Then I bring in Caroline Knapp’s Appeti...

In this unfiltered, real-as-hell episode, Kate sits down —makeup-free and bra-free, with her messy podcast editing skills — to talk about something she sees in nearly every woman she coaches:

The Overachiever Wound.

If you grew up being compared, dismissed, or made to feel less-than… your nervous system learned that safety comes from performance.

So you overachieved, excelled, got the degrees, the gold stars, the promotions, the “good girl” identity — all because your body believed: “If I achieve, I’m safe. If I slow down, I’m exposed.”

Kate breaks down why high-achieving women...

In today's episode, Kate goes deep into why women’s drinking has never been a personal failure and why sobriety is, at its core, a feminist act. Drawing from neuroscience, history, spirituality, and lived experience, she unpacks how women were conditioned to numb themselves instead of trust themselves and why quitting alcohol often becomes the first moment a woman stops being manageable and starts becoming sovereign.

This episode challenges patriarchy, recovery dogma, spiritual gatekeeping, and the idea that women need to humble themselves even more than they already have.

In this episode, Kate dives into:

In today's episode, Kate sits down with Amy Liz Harrison, a sobriety and recovery mentor who spent years feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and stuck in patterns that kept her exhausted. Amy shares how she slowly lost herself inside motherhood, marriage, people pleasing, and perfectionism, and how alcohol became the nightly escape valve she used to cope with stress she didn’t know how to name.

Amy opens up about her moment of reckoning, her early sober days, and the emotional unraveling that came when she finally stopped drinking and had to face herself honestly for the first time in...