No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best...
Mobbing: Group Exclusion and Psychological Harassment
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One quiet pattern can wreck a workplace or a school community without ever looking like “bullying” on the surface: mobbing. We’re talking about systematic group exclusion, subtle psychological harassment, and the kind of coordinated cold shoulder that makes a capable person start asking, “Am I imagining this?” I’m joined by Alicia Laszewski, a marketing and culture leader who lived through mobbing at work while her daughter faced a similar pile-on in high school, and she’s turning that experience into a practical playbook for change.
We dig into how mo...
One Honest Conversation: Why Silence Costs Us More Than Speaking Up
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You can be brilliant at work and still feel oddly powerless in your own relationship. Mary Rothwell starts with a candid admission: she stayed far too long in partnerships that left her alone with a partner, not because she didn’t know, but because she avoided the decision and the conversation. That pattern is more common than we like to admit, especially for high-achieving women who are used to pushing through hard things and telling themselves to “wait a little longer.”
Marcelle LeBlanc, the “conversation architect,” joins Mary to unpack...
REPLAY: The Grief of Blindness and the Role of Grit and Gratitude
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A nine-year-old hears the words “you will lose your sight,” but no one can tell her when. Laura Bratton lived in that uncertainty for years, then watched her vision change rapidly through high school until only limited light perception remained. What stays with me most is how honest she is about the emotional cost: denial that turns into grief, anxiety about the future, and the quiet exhaustion of trying to look “fine” while falling apart inside.
We get into the kind of grief many people don’t know how to name...
Rewrite Your Story: Overcome Limiting Narratives through Self-Acceptance
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If you’ve ever felt like you’re living by someone else’s script, this conversation will land hard in the best way. In this episode, I’m joined by storytelling strategist and founder Laura Nespoli for an honest, specific look at how personal narrative shapes everything from our self-trust to our health to the way we show up at work and at home. The big idea is simple but not easy: profound change doesn’t require the outside world to transform first. It starts when we change our relationship with ourse...
The Power of Women: Witches, Mentors and Friends
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A nor’easter traps me indoors on a solo beach trip in Delaware, and the quiet gives me space to notice something I never want to take for granted: the steady, life-giving power of women’s friendships. I think about the friends I’ve kept for 50-plus years, the laughter that instantly returns when we reconnect, and the way a single lunch with the right person can reset your whole nervous system. I also sit with something that makes me sad, hearing from women who’ve struggled to trust other women, b...
Survival Codes: Healing from a Narcissistic Parent
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The coping skills that made you impressive might be the same ones keeping you lonely. We sit down with Ingeborg Mooiweer, a therapist and executive coach, to talk honestly about what it’s like to grow up with a narcissistic mother and how that kind of childhood trauma can rewrite your identity, your self-trust, and your relationships. When love is inconsistent and anger turns into silence or blame, you learn to shrink, scan every room, and question your feelings before you ever question the adult in charge.
We un...
Life Happens Through You: Finding Hope through Daily Choices
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Life can feel like a pile on: headlines you can’t control, stress that follows you home, and the constant sense that you’re reacting instead of choosing. I’m sharing a simple reframe that helps me get my footing fast: life happens through you, not to you. That idea doesn’t erase real pain or serious mental health challenges, but it does hand you something you can use right now: agency over your next move.
We talk about what to do when national and global issues feel demoraliz...
REPLAY: The Road Back from Rock Bottom: Improv, Writing and Vulnerability
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Someone can look like they’re thriving and still be drowning. That’s the thread we keep pulling in this replay with Angie Hawkins, an inner glow coach and the author of *Running in Slippers*, recorded for National Suicide Prevention Month. Angie shares how emotionally neglectful childhood dynamics shaped a lifelong belief that she didn’t deserve love, and how that belief fueled people pleasing, overgiving, and chasing approval that never quite felt like enough.
We walk through the hard stacking of stressors that pushed her to the edge: d...
REPLAY: The Cost of Silence: Self-Forgiveness through Honesty and Grace
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Secrets don’t just live in our past, they live in our nervous system, our self-talk, and sometimes even our symptoms. To honor September’s themes of self-care, recovery, suicide prevention, and self-improvement, we’re resharing one of the most requested conversations we’ve ever had: our replay with Julie Heaton, author, transformational mentor, certified health and wellness coach, and Reiki master.
Julie shares the moments that shaped her path, including learning to adapt early, feeling like she didn’t fit, and placing a baby for adoption at a young ag...
REPLAY: Expect the Expected: Managing Disappointment
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You can love someone and still feel worn down by the same predictable disappointment. When a relationship keeps giving you the same outcome, hope can start to feel like a trap, especially when you’re doing all the emotional work and waiting for the other person to meet you there.
I’m revisiting a mini episode that listeners kept coming back to because it names a pattern many of us live with: doing the same thing in a relationship and expecting a different result. I call it “expect the ex...
Contraception, Hormones and Women's Cycles: Understanding Whole Body Impacts
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Your body isn’t betraying you. A lot of what feels like “random” fatigue, heavy periods, mood swings, migraines, or midlife weight changes starts to make sense once you understand how hormones actually work together. We sit down with women’s health educator, author, and longtime coach Tierra Duncan to talk about hormone literacy and why so many of us reach adulthood knowing almost nothing about the system running the show.
We dig into the menstrual cycle phases beyond “the bleed,” including why ovulation matters and how estrogen and progeste...
Getting Unstuck: Using Scaling to Create Change
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Stuck can look like a hundred different things, but it usually feels the same: spinning, second-guessing, and waiting for clarity that never arrives. I share a simple tool I use when life feels mired, a 1 to 10 rating scale that turns a vague problem into something you can actually move. No complicated worksheets, no perfection, just an honest number and one practical next step.
We walk through how to pick a situation that is not going the way you want, rate it based on gut instinct, and then ask t...
Seeing The Pattern: Love Bombing and the Abuse Cycle
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Someone can tell you they love you while quietly teaching you to doubt your own mind. That is the part we wanted to name out loud, without buzzwords and without blame.
I sit down with artist, author, and speaker Carine Van Hee to unpack how toxic relationships and emotional abuse actually work in real life. Carine shares the moment her mother’s death in 2023 exposed a pattern she could not unsee, and how that discovery also reframed her own past relationship. We talk about why so ma...
Breaking the Negative Thought Loop: Find The Exception
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Your mind can turn one bad moment into a whole worldview, and it usually starts with two words: always and never. Today I’m sharing a simple way to interrupt that spiral by looking for “exceptions,” the real-life moments that prove the harsh story in your head is not true 100% of the time. It’s a small shift, but it can change how you experience anxiety, depression, disappointment, and even everyday stress.
I also start with a quick National Wellness Month note and a special offer tied to my book...
People-Pleasing "Nice Girls": How High-Functioning Women Learn To Abandon Themselves
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You can be confident, competent, and deeply self-aware and still find yourself saying yes when you mean no, smoothing things over, and quietly disappearing in your own life. That contradiction is exactly what Mary Rothwell explores with Ludovica Colella, a CBT-trained psychotherapist and confidence coach who specializes in people pleasing, fawning, and self-abandonment for high-functioning women who are exhausted from overgiving.
We dig into the real roots of “being nice,” including gender socialization, the good girl role, and the fear that comes up when you stop shrinking and step...
Shake It Off: What Nature Teaches Us About Nervous System Reset
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Your body is carrying more than you think, and a puppy can prove it. After seven weeks of raising Alfie and trying to decode his signals, I noticed something that changed how I look at stress: the full-body “doggy shake.” Yes, dogs shake to dry off, but they also shake after a stressful moment as a way to reset their nervous system. Once I learned that, I started seeing it everywhere on our walks, especially after sudden city noise and sensory overload. He shakes, then he trots forward. No rumination. No s...
Emotional Regulation Doesn't Mean "Calm": The Path through Burnout, Anxiety and Shame
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Emotional regulation isn’t “stay calm and never fall apart.” It’s being able to feel anger, grief, joy, fear, and everything in between while staying connected to your body and in control of what you do next. That single shift changes how we understand burnout, anxiety, and the shame so many high-achieving women carry when they can’t “just handle it.”
Mary Rothwell sits down with Felicia Brown, LPC, a trauma-informed therapist, speaker, and emotional regulation coach who helps high performers break free from overthinking and productivity-based self-worth. Fe...
When We Stop Shrinking: Staying Strong through Vulnerability
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One anonymous one-star rating on Amazon threw me off for days and the weird part is how fast it made me forget the real, thoughtful reviews from people who actually read the book. That moment turned into a sharp lesson about negativity bias, visibility, and why “non-feedback” can feel louder than the truth.
I walk through the difference between constructive criticism and faceless criticism. Real feedback has specifics, context, and some honest intent behind it, even when it’s uncomfortable. Noise is anonymous, cheap, and designed to land withou...
Barriers to Promotion: Addressing the Articulation Gap at Work
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If you’ve ever watched a less qualified coworker get promoted while you quietly held everything together, you’re not imagining it and you’re not alone. We dig into the real reason high-performing women get overlooked even when they’re delivering results: what career coach Rosie Zelinskis calls the articulation gap, the space between the impact you create and what leadership actually sees and rewards.
Rosie shares her wake-up call after a blunt message from a supervisor and explains why the usual advice to “be more confident” misses the m...
Zoom In: The Power of "Right Now" in Taming Anxiety and Building Success
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Your brain loves to leap ahead and ask the scariest question possible: “If I’m struggling right now, what does that mean about the future?” I’m sharing a small but powerful reset that helps me cut through anxiety fast: zoom in on the challenge directly in front of you and stop borrowing trouble from tomorrow. The idea comes from a column by Heidi Stevens, and it lands because it’s practical, not preachy.
We talk about a marathon training moment that captures the spiral perfectly. When a 10-mile run f...
Fired To Inspired: Rejection as Motivation
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Getting fired can feel like public failure, private grief, and a full-body identity crisis all at once. I know that kind of rupture, and that’s why this conversation lands so deeply. In this episode, Merry Korn, founder of Pearl Interactive Network, talks about how a career collapse can become the moment you finally stop shrinking and start building a life that fits who you are. We don’t treat reinvention like a motivational poster. We name the humiliation, the fear about money, and the way rejection can hit old woun...
Tough Love & Consequences: Raising Resilient Children
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We sit with the messy truth of tough love and why letting natural consequences happen can be the most loving path to resilience. We also face parenting guilt head-on and separate what we can influence from what is shaped by DNA, boundaries, and our kids’ own choices.
• defining tough love as guidance with limits
• why natural consequences teach faster than nagging
• how smoothing the path blocks grit and confidence
• helicopter parenting and the struggle to navigate adulthood
• boundaries, rules, and honest conversations that stay compassionate
• nature versu...
Notes From a Madwoman: Transforming Survival Adaptations to Healthy Coping
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Survival can make you brilliant at coping and it can also quietly steal your identity. We sit down with writer and trauma educator Lisa Lacy to talk about the gap between looking “high-functioning” and actually feeling well, especially for women conditioned to be good, productive, and pleasing even when they’re drowning inside. Lisa shares how repeated near-death medical crises and turning 50 forced a hard truth: you can’t keep going back to the old script and call it strength.
We get specific about what “high-functioning survival” looks like in real...
Emotional Regulation through Nature
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City life can be brutally loud, and sometimes the stress isn’t a personality flaw, it’s a nervous system response to an environment that never powers down. After a weekend at BookFest and a bunch of conversations with readers, we keep coming back to one practical question: how do you access the benefits of nature when you don’t live next to a forest or have time for big adventures?
We tell a simple story about our puppy, Alfie, who struggles with the sounds of the city. On a t...
Cycle Syncing: Using Your Natural Rhythm to Bust Burnout and Optimize Energy
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Hustle culture has a nasty way of sounding like wisdom until you’re exhausted, snapping at everyone you love, and wondering why you can’t “just be consistent.” We sit with that tension head-on and ask a better question: what if the problem isn’t your ambition, but the model you’re trying to run it on?
I’m joined by Renee Fieck, a feminine leadership coach, cycle syncing expert, and business strategist who helps high-achieving women scale without burnout. Renee shares the flashbulb season that changed everything: her husband’s...
Being Resilient: Lessons from Puppy Parenting
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We bring home a new puppy and quickly realize our biggest problem is not Alfie, it is how much we are trying to manage and control every moment. We connect puppy behavior struggles to helicopter parenting and resilience, then decide to give him more space to learn how to self-soothe and trust.
• adopting Alfie and adjusting to his unknown early experiences
• how being home constantly fuels whining, barking, and evening chaos
• noticing our rigid schedule and stress are making things worse
• the curling metaphor for “sweeping” discomfort away ...
Discernment: How to Make Life's Big Decisions
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A pro and con list can’t tell you why a choice feels right in your bones. We start with a deceptively simple question: why would two frequent travelers in a small city townhome with three cats decide to get a dog? That “on paper it makes no sense” moment opens the door to a deeper conversation about discernment, the kind that lives in your body, your intuition, and that quiet internal click of rightness you can’t always explain.
I’m joined by Stephanie Peirolo, executive coach and author...
Using Immediacy To Facilitate and Deepen Communication
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We’re running on puppy time and talking about why a new dog can upend your routine fast. Then we share a therapy tool called immediacy and show how naming what’s happening right now can break through shutdowns, jokes, and stalemates in relationships.
• what immediacy means in therapy and why it matters
• noticing real-time reactions like shutdowns, jokes, and defensiveness
• using I statements to name the dynamic without blame
• examples with partners, parents, and kids after stressful moments
• starting the hard conversation by naming fear and vul...
Emotional Restoration: Overcoming Fear through Rest and Reflection
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Fear can be quiet, rational-sounding, and incredibly persuasive. It tells us to stay small, keep the peace, hustle harder, and accept “good enough” because change feels risky. I sit down with Gilza Fort-Martinez, a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 30 years of experience, to talk about the real reasons people stay stuck even when they have insight and can name every red flag. We get honest about the fear of rejection, disapproval, and not being enough, and how that fear can shape relationships, self-worth, and the choices we keep repe...
Flashbulb Moments: How Memories Shape your Life
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In this mini-episode, I talk about
• defining flashbulb moments as memories that stand out in bold relief
• noticing how siblings can remember the same event differently
• sharing a childhood story about breaking an elbow and feeling unseen
• connecting essential nature with environment and learned coping patterns
• questioning the conclusions we draw from one painful moment
• considering other truths and remembering times care did show up
• inviting you to reflect on your own flashbulb moments and what they still drive
If you want to learn more about E...
Transformation Through Action: Rebuilding Confidence in Midlife
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You know that moment when you catch your reflection and realize you’ve been getting through life instead of really living it? That’s where this conversation begins, and it’s where a lot of real change starts. Mary shares a vivid memory from the Pacific Crest Trail and why time in the outdoors can strip life back to what matters: food, water, rest, and the quiet confidence that comes from doing hard things one step at a time.
Mary’s guest, Belinda Coker, is an Australian hiker, writer, a...
Expand Your Life: Ignoring the "Yeah, Buts"
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The “yeah, but” voice can sound sensible, even caring, but it can quietly shrink your life. Today we’re pulling that voice into the light and asking a bigger question: what would you do if you truly believed it’s not too late?As we're scrambling to prepare our home for a puppy, I talk about how that decision turns into a deeper reflection on time, courage, and why so many women do their most meaningful learning and growth after 45. From earning advanced degrees to taking an art class just because...
Single Parenting With A Plan
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Single parenting can feel like you are carrying a whole household on your back and getting judged at the same time. We wanted to cut through the noise and talk about what actually helps, so we brought on Pat Hankin, author of The Field Guide for Single Parents: practical tips to gain control of your life. Pat combines lived experience with 40 plus years in financial services and a front row seat to an enormous parenting community, and she does not sugarcoat the reality: resources are often scarce, shame is everywhere...
What If Your Life Vision is Limiting What's Possible?
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Your biggest goals can quietly turn into blinders and you might not even notice until you feel stuck. We’re sharing a mindset shift that hit hard after reading Austin Kleon’s “Don’t Call It Art”: when we grip our visions too tightly, we can miss opportunities, ignore what we actually need, and even bulldoze our real life in the name of a perfect plan.
We talk about how kids create without pressure and why that kind of playful creativity matters for adults who are tired, anxious, or trapped...
Forest Bathing: The Health Benefits in Your Own Backyard
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Your body already knows how to relax, it just might be waiting for you to step outside. We sit down with Kim Little Hoover, a mindful outdoor guide certified through the Kripalu School of Mindful Outdoor Leadership, to talk about forest bathing (shinrin-yoku) and why slow time among trees can feel like flipping a switch on stress. We get practical about what a guided forest bathing walk actually looks like, from unplugging and setting an intention to a gentle meander and a quiet sit spot meditation that helps you drop...
Communication: Clarity and Self-Awareness are Key
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A question: why does communication break down so easily when we have so many ways to connect? We talk through how silence, softened needs, and rushed messages create confusion, then lay out simple ways to speak clearly in relationships and professional life.
• naming how social media comments can hide judgment and cruelty
• noticing how we soften our message and expect mind reading
• advocating for what we want with calm, clear language
• pausing instead of shutting down and promising we will come back
• asking for the other person’s...
Somatic Therapy: Does the Body Keep the Score?
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Your body reacts before your brain can explain it. A glance from the wrong person, a headline on your phone, a tense meeting at work, and suddenly it hits your stomach, your throat tightens, or your chest feels heavy. We talk about why that happens, how trauma and chronic stress can get stored in the body, and what it looks like to heal through embodiment instead of only through insight.
I’m joined by Angel Howard, somatic movement therapist, executive coach, host of the Upshift Podcast, and author of...
A Garden Story About Self Trust
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We use a struggling shade plant as a mirror for the moments we stop trusting our own eyes and instincts. We connect gardening lessons to burnout, identity, and the relief that comes from changing the environment instead of blaming ourselves.
• noticing a mismatch between assumptions and reality
• a pulmonaria story that shows how conditions drive outcomes
• “believe what you’re seeing” as a self-trust practice
• asking “what else could be true?” when things do not add up
• how big changes can quietly erase the “shade” we need
• why strug...
What If Midlife Is Where You Begin: Boundaries, Burnout & Reinvention
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If you’ve been the competent one for decades, you can get so good at holding everything together that you stop noticing you’re not actually inside your own life. Mary Rothwell opens with a personal turning point, leaving a career-defining job after it became unsafe, and the disorienting question that followed: who am I when my identity is no longer my role?
Midlife coach Sandra Wood joins us with her own flashbulb moments, including a breast cancer diagnosis that sparked a life review and a clear internal mess...
Trigger Warnings, Trauma, And The Skills To Tolerate Life
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We explore why trigger warnings and the word trigger can feel both helpful and limiting, especially when avoidance starts to shape daily life. I share stories and nature-based metaphors to show how resilience grows when we build tolerance, not when we retreat from every uncomfortable reminder.
• why trigger warnings rose in classrooms and culture
• the difference between everyday irritations and trauma-based triggers
• trauma as an untreated injury that changes how we move through life
• the amygdala as a smoke detector that can misread present-day safety
• personal exampl...
